Through the Sorrow and Carnage

Chapter One

Remus Lupin sat in front of his fireplace holding a box that housed pictures of his family and friends. He was surprised when he found them in his attic while cleaning, he thought that he had lost them a long time ago. A small part of him wished that he did. They only served to remind him just how much he had lost. He was the only true Marauder left; Peter Pettigrew being a traitor, James having died because of Peter’s betrayal, and Sirius being lost behind the Veil to protect Harry.
He looked down at the beaten cardboard box, fingering the edges of the lid. The lid was set on the floor, to reveal well pressed photographs of all his friends. On the top, set above all of them, was a group picture of the marauders. James and Lily stood in the middle, Remus stand slightly behind the redheaded woman, Sirius giving James bunny ears, and Peter half in the picture. Remus grinned slightly and wiped at his eyes, they all looked so happy and young. They had all these hopes and dreams after they graduated from hogwarts, and in one year, it all went to shit. Underneath their group picture were other photographs of the Marauders, James and Lily, baby Harry, Sirius and Remus, and single shots of each person over the years. He put the ones of James, Lily and baby Harry aside after looking at them. //My how he’s grown.//
A few moments however, he wished he didn’t start looking at the pictures in the first place. He held the photograph in his trembling hands and didn’t realize he was crying until two droplets landed on its glossy surface.


December 25, 1985

It was Christmas morning, and the Marauders had been up all night celebrating Lily’s pregnancy. Being as how she was eight months pregnant, it was just another excuse to party before the baby came. Lily had come downstairs to find Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter camped out on the living room floor. She was faintly surprised that she could even them, for the pillows and blankets piled all around them. She could make out Sirius, who was sprawled half on top of her husband and Remus, giving her an impression that they passed out while dog piling James. That had happened more often than not, they were so close. Remus’ arm stuck limply out of the blanket, holding a beer bottle. //Yep, they passed out.// James’ head was cushioned by a pillow that was drenched in drool; she was thankful that he didn’t crawl into bed with her, she could have drowned. Peter, the good one, slept on the armchair near the fire bent almost double, and cushioning his head on the arm of the chair.
She grinned as she was struck with a most devious plan. Never are you to have a party where you can get drunk, and you have at least one person sober. Drunk people plus one sober, devious wife equals frightening possibilities. She went into James’ office where she got a black magic marker and a camera.
The men awoke to a bunch of flashes and clicking, not knowing where they were, how they got there, and why Lily was taking pictures. Fortunately, they were used to waking up like this when they partied. Always in the same setting and positions. They just wanted to know what she did to them this time. Last time she dressed them all in women’s clothes and make-up and put them outdoors in the front lawn. How she managed it without them waking up they will never know. The muggle camera slid out the developing pictures, and the men scrambled to get at least one of them. Which was a testament to how hung over they actually were, when a very pregnant woman could bend down and pick up the pictures then straighten before they could get at least one.
James was finally able to get one of the pictures and showed it to the rest after he had a good laugh. Surrounded by pillows and blankets were the Marauders. Remus Lupin, now aptly named Loopy Moony clutched a beer bottle in one hand, eyes halfway open. Sirius Black-Out, was sprawled over Moony and James Potthead, mouth all the way open filled with M&M’s. Peter was slightly put-off because he didn’t have anything done to him, but all-in-all they had a good laugh. By mid afternoon, they managed to get the black marker off their faces.


If he knew then the way they had treated Peter, and how it all turned out, maybe he could have stopped it. If only he had believed Sirius in the first place... At that thought, his shoulders slumped. Despair gnawed at him, his personal dementor taking residence in his soul. He wiped his face and placed the picture back into the shoebox. His legs drew to his chest, arms wrapping around them. His head fell to his knees; he started rocking back and forth, his grief overwhelming him.
He didn’t hear the door opening, nor the footsteps stopping in the living room, but he heard the a hoarse voice whisper, “Moony?” He looked frantically around. In the door way was the very same person he was grieving. Sirius held onto the wall, looking confusedly at him. Severus stood behind him, an unreadable expression on his face. On others, it would have been read as empathy.
He sat there for a few minutes, just studying his childhood friend in disbelief. Then, it was as if a summoning charm was put on Lupin. For in just two moments, he was across the room and latched onto Sirius like he was a life preserver. He was in a way. The man known as Remus Lupin died the day Sirius disappeared, only leaving a hollow shell behind. Sirius clutched his friend to his chest, the frail man shaking violently with the force of his sobs. Most of his babble was incoherent, but he could clearly hear a sentence, more like a mantra, “I’m sorry for everything. I’m so sorry.”
At that admonition, tears started spilling down Sirius’ face, and he held more tightly onto his comrade. Sometime later, when they broke apart, they noticed that Severus was nowhere to be found. Lupin wanted to thank the man, but Sirius decided that if “the greasy bastard” wanted no human contact then it was more than fine for him.
That night, Remus could finally sleep without the agonizing nightmares that had plagued him since Lily and James’ death.