There\'s No Place Like Hogwarts

AN - Thanks to everyone who was eager to read more and left reviews. You guys are so great! To lightgoddess, hey! I’m glad to be back too! Nova, I thank you for the kind words*blushes*. LariLee, You rock! Thanks for defending me.silver1, I’m glad that you like this story. More will follow, so don’t worry. Jenn, I actually saw some I Love Snape t-shirts online. I wanted to buy one, but the website that makes them only takes credit cards and I don’t have one. But I’m going to make one with some iron-on transfer paper. Now, without further ado, here is the next chapter of the story. Jillian, I love your name. It reminds me of the Jillian in the VC Andrews series Heaven. No need for bodily harm, but you can go after that a-hole who keeps leaving me nasty reviews.

Jessica leaned her head back against the marble tub. Could this really be happening? Could she really be here, in Hogwarts? The place she dreamed about, read about and loved? She looked around for a bottle of shampoo to wash her hair, which was full of dirt, but couldn’t find one.

“Figures” she muttered under her breath. “Like Snape washes his hair.”

Ducking her head under the water, she scrubbed as hard as she could with her fingernails to get the grime from her hair. Getting frustrated in the fact that it wasn’t working, Jessica started playing with the taps, hoping that one of them would have some sort of soap. A jet of bright pink foam shot out and hit her in the face. She yelled out in surprise and frantically tried to make it stop. Snape burst in the room, wand at ready. He gave a look of disgust as the foam shot all over his bathroom.

“Will you help, or are you just going to stand there?” Jessica yelled, shielding her face from the spurting tap. Snape pointed his wand at the spout and it stopped. He gave her an odd smile, his dark eyes quickly sweeping over her body. Jessica moved to cover herself with some of the remaining foam. He looked away and asked her if she needed help with anything else. It was like having a female Neville Longbottom, only instead of destroying the classroom; she was messing up his bath.

“Do you have any shampoo or conditioner? My hair’s a little muddy from being on the ground”

Snape pushed a panel in the wall near the tub. A door swung open revealing an array of toiletries, shampoo, soap, razors and various colognes. Jessica made a quick mental note to see what scents Snape wore.

He spun from the room and marched out. This girl was insufferable! Worse than a million Potters, Weasleys , and Grangers put together. She was pretty, though. He had caught a glimpse of her body under the water, and could find no fault with it. A horrible vision filled his head as he headed for the small bar where he poured himself a glass of whiskey. Jessica’s body, bloody and beaten, naked, lying at Voldemort’s feet, her cries echoing through the night as Voldemort pressed her for more information. He shook his head to clear the image from his mind.

Snape knew exactly the threat that Jessica posed to them. She knew their world better than they did, it seemed. How else could she have known about what happened between Potter and himself the year before? Walking over to her stuff, he noticed a sheath of papers with his name on them. Glancing at the bathroom door, he wondered how much longer she would be in the bath. Looking down, he began to read the neatly typed words. His face burned as he went on, reading the sexually explicit story that involved him self and Jessica (cleverly disguised under a different name and now a blond, but Snape could tell that it was her) and acts that he had never even heard of. She went to great details in the story of how she preformed the sex act, including some silk scarves, heated body oils, a whip of ribbons and a blindfold. Snape smiled, thinking that the girl thought like a Slytherin, and that her innocent looks hid the naughty person underneath.

“Do you find that interesting, Snape?” Jessica’s amused voice cut through the room. Snape dropped the papers quickly. He stared up at her and for the second time in a few minutes, his face flooded with color. She was wearing a black nightgown, silk from the looks of it. The gown was v-necked, cut low across the chest, showing off her pale, full breasts. It was long, sweeping the floor as she walked. In her hand was a pair of slippers, also black. His eyes swept over her body, the way the silk clung to her curves. She was slender, like a willow tree, and looked very fragile. Her long black hair was brushed back and gleamed wetly in the firelight.

Jessica chuckled inwardly as Snape looked her over. She watched as he gathered up the papers and shoved them back where they came from. Walking over to the table where food was set up, Jessica pulled a chair out and sat down. The silver tray in front of her held a large pile of mashed potatoes, steaming hot and dripping with butter, a few slices of turkey breast, covered in gravy, and a few ears of corn. A large goblet of milk sat in front of it all. She bowed her head quickly, muttered a quick prayer and dug in. Snape watched in amusement as the small girl proceeded to eat every morsel of food in front of her.

“Gods, girl. You eat like an animal. How did all of that fit in you?” Snape asked.

Jessica smiled, but gave no answer. She walked over to her purse, took out a bottle and began to rub flower- scented lotion over her skin. Snape muttered to him self as he poured another drink. She looked up, and asked him for one.

“No. I don’t share my alcohol with children” Snape replied curtly.

The blood rushed to Jessica’s face. “I’m not a fucking child! I’m 25 years old! 25!I’ve been allowed to drink for over 4 damn years now. I’ve voted in 2 elections! I’m in a strange place and I’m scared! Now give me a fucking drink or I’ll make the Cruciatus look like a fucking picnic!” She marched over to Snape who poured her 3 fingers in a glass. His left eyebrow was arched, and he was smirking. Jessica gulped the glass down, wincing at the taste. She handed him the glass and took a seat on a couch (she swore that wasn’t there before). He poured her another and sat next to her. Snape was greatly intrigued by this spitfire woman (he wasn’t about to call her a child or a girl again, even in his mind) who seemed to be equally matched as he was as far as temper and intelligence. He could tell she was smart, by the things he had found in her bags. Her writing was skillful. Snape, for a moment was actually worried if Voldemort came across this lovely little creature. She’d probably kick his ass from here to Hogsmeade.

Jessica stared at the fire in silence. From time to time she stole periodic glances at Snape. She admitted to herself that he was pretty good looking. True, his hair needed an urgent date with a bottle of shampoo, and his teeth were a little crooked, but those things could be fixed. She wondered what Carson from “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” would do to give old Snapey a makeover. Jessica giggled a little at the thought of 5 flamboyant gay men fawning over Severus Snape.


Finishing off her second glass, she was beginning to feel really drunk. The room felt like it was gently rocking back and forth. Jessica set the glass on the cool stone and closed her eyes. Snape noticed this, and grinned.

“Looks like you’re having a bit of a time there. What’s the matter, can’t handle your liquor?”

Jessica opened her eyes, and glared at him.

“Of course I can. I’m just not used to this wizard stuff. You have an unfair advantage.”

She moved to stand up to go to the bathroom, but lost her balance and fell on top of Snape. For a second, neither of them said a word. Snape could feel her soft breasts pressing against his chest. She was so near, so near to him that he could smell the shampoo in her hair and the scented lotion on her skin. Jessica felt Snape’s hard muscled body as he tried to struggle underneath her.

“I’m not interrupting, am I?” Dumbledore asked, stepping from the fireplace. Snape managed to push Jessica off of him. She blushed madly, excused her self and went into the bathroom.

“Not at all Headmaster. Miss Lynch simply fell on top of me.” Snape said. Albus noticed the two empty glasses and the bottle of firewhiskey and chuckled.

“Ahh, I see that Miss Lynch is not quite used to it.”

“Hardly” Snape replied dryly. Jessica came back from the bathroom, walking back to the couch as if the room was moving under her feet.
“My dear, I believe that you should go to bed now.” Albus said. Jessica nodded, her head spinning. She felt like she had drank way more than she did.

As Albus lead her to Snape’s bed (he snorted at the thought of someone sleeping with him in his bed) he gently explained that firewhiskey affected Muggles more than normal alcohol would. He tucked her in bed, telling her that they’d talk in the morning. She smiled gratefully at the old man and fell asleep.

“Severus, we seem to have a dilemma here. I don’t know where Jessica came from, or even how to get her back there. All I know is that Voldemort must never find out. The things that are revealed in those books, they could cause more problems than it’s worth. Especially if Voldemort finds out about you, Severus.”

Snape nodded. He knew that one of the good things about this upcoming war was the fact that he was spying for the Order. Voldemort had no clue, at least for the time being that one of his most revered Death Eaters was a spy.

They talked for a while, mostly about how to deal with Jessica’s presence. Snape suggested that they make her a student, but Dumbledore quickly dismissed the idea.

“What if she has no magical abilities? True, she looks young enough, but it would indeed be strange for a 7th year not to be able to perform magic. She’d be better off as a visiting friend. Why, we’ll say that she’s a relative of yours, Severus” Albus’ eyes twinkled as he said this. Snape’s mouth hung open as Albus sucked on a lemon drop. Albus winked, walked back into the fireplace and disappeared.

Snape muttered as he got ready for bed. Just as he was brushing his teeth, the mark on his armed began to burn. He was being summoned.

AN- sorry it’s so short, loyal readers. I have a short day here at work, and I did promise to get it up by today. Thanks so much for the reviews. I really had planned on giving up on this. Who else is glad that the cover for HBP has been revealed? I am, but I’m upset that the back cover won’t be shown until the book release. Like the back is gonna give the whole story away? I read the OotP and GOF, but it took until after I read the books to know who was on the covers. So, who do you think the HBP is? I’m shooting for Snape. I’m hoping that it’s not him who dies. See ya next chapter.

Coming up-

• Jessica meets Harry for the first time
• Snape is put on a special mission by Voldemort