Together, Alone

Discalimer: (whoops, i forgot to post one in my hurried rush to put up chapter 2) The characters arent mine, just having *fun* with them. All are JK Rowlings... lucky girl!

I don’t care if your world is ending today
Because I wasn’t invited to it anyway
You said I tasted famous so I drew you a heart
But now I’m not an artist, I’m a fucking work of art
I’ve got an F and a C and I’ve got a K too,
And the only thing that’s missing is a bitch like yoU
- (s)AINT, Marilyn Manson

Harry and Ron met up with Hermione in the common room. They walked down the castle to breakfast together. At least six girls said “hello Harry” on their way down, and the trio entered the Great Hall amidst Harry’s mutterings of extreme annoyance.

“Blimey Harry, I would love to have that many girls saying ‘hello’ to me in one morning,” Ron said, interrupting his mutterings.

“I am sick of girls Ron, no offence Hermione,” He gave Hermione a sympathetic look, to which she waved her hand as if to say that she didn’t care, which she probably didn’t. “I mean I am sick of the girls who can’t see past the scar, the…”

“…Boy-who-lived syndrome? Yeah, yeah I know, I know. But I just can’t understand how you can be sick of girls. You aren’t gay are you mate?” Ron gave a look of fake horror as he sat down at the Gryffindor table.

Looking up to the teachers table and spotting the man he had dreamed of last night he replied “Maybe I am Ron, who knows?” He sat down opposite Ron and Hermione, just as he caught a glance of Ron’s look of fake horror solidify itself.

Ron wasn’t given a chance to pursue the subject as Dean, Seamus, Neville, Luna and Ginny came up to the table and gathered around the three already seated. But this didn’t stop him from giving horrified looks to Harry all through breakfast.

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The day went normally and uneventfully until the last class of the day, double potions with the Slytherins. Ron and Harry hadn’t had a chance to talk about their earlier conversation until they were stuck in a corner of the dungeons behind a cauldron together.

Ron was giving Harry very hesitant glances for the first ten minutes of the class, until Harry finally had had enough and told Ron to spit out whatever was on his mind.

“It’s just that… that, you seemed very serious about our conversation at breakfast. You don’t think you are really gay do you?”

“Ron, would you have a problem if I told you I was gay?”

Ron took a while to answer, it seemed that what he wanted to say was taking all his courage. “It’s not that I have a problem with gays at all, and I don’t have a problem with you being gay it’s just… just that… that you’re the “Boy-Who-Lived” and how do you think the world is going to react if you turn up to save the wizarding world from You-Know-Who with your boyfriend in tow?” After a slight pause, and seeing Harry’s reaction, he hastily continued on “Plus, you say that you have a problem finding a girl who can’t see past the scar and everything, well what’s to say that you are going to find a boy who can see past it all?”
Harry knew that he was probably about to over-react to what Ron had said, but the subject was delicate and Harry wanted Ron to see that he wanted his support, whatever his decision was. “Well, if that’s what you have to say about that then I am sorry Ron, but I am not going to associate with you until you grow up, change your mind and support me.” With that he stood up and walked over to the door of the classroom. Once he got to the door he turned back to Ron and said “Plus, I think I have found someone who will accept me for Harry, it’s just a matter of me bringing up the courage to talk to him.” With that he walked out of the door.

By now the whole class, including Snape were staring either at Ron or the empty doorway. Ron looked around the classroom; he could feel the heat rising in his face. Snape turned to look at him and Ron saw something he didn’t expect. He had expected either a smirk or a look of extreme anger on Snape’s face, but instead he saw a look of fear and worry. Snape worried about Harry in the classroom? That was a first. After giving Ron a last glance Snape turned to the class and yelled “Get back to work!” before storming out of the classroom after Harry.

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Harry ran through the corridors of Hogwarts, back towards the Gryffindor tower. He didn’t care that he had just run out of his potions class, and caused most of the class to probably think he was deranged once again. He stopped outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. It was actually quite lucky he wasn’t stopped by a passing teacher in his flight through the halls, but he had made it and the only person he had to answer to would be Severus later on that night.

“Malleus Maleficarum” Harry told the portrait infront of him.

“As you say my dear…” The Fat Lady swung forward and let him through into the common room.

Harry ran upstairs to the dormitory. He threw himself on his bed and for no reason he could justify to himself he started to cry. Why doesn’t he understand? I didn’t ask for any of this… and I am trying to cope with it as best as I can. But I am not allowed to be normal, do what makes me happy. Why? Why? Why? Why am I so upset about all of this? I haven’t even decided whether or not I am gay… Well looks like I am, seeing as I am reacting this way to a dream about Severus and some stupid things Ronald Weasley said.

“Harry? Are you ok?” The voice startled Harry, and he quickly jumped off the bed, revealing his tear streaked face to the person he was now sharing the room with.

“Severus, I mean Sir… I’m sorry I, I just over-reacted to something Ron said. It was nothing. I will be ok truly I will.”

“Harry, you don’t fool me. And for the record, when we are alone I am Severus to you. Not Professor Snape, or Sir, not the snaky bastard of the classroom. Harry I am your friend. I am a different friend to your normal classroom peers, because you know you can talk to me, and trust me. I am not going to judge you because I know what you are capable of. I am one of the few people who have seen it for myself. I am also slightly more mature than Weasley. You can’t tell me that you are ok, because you don’t let “nothing” get to you... you have far more important things to worry about. Look do you want to talk about it? Because that is why I came to you… I thought you may need to get it out of your system before the lesson ends and you have to face your friends again.” It was the longest speech Severus had ever given of this nature to anyone in his life. It wasn’t usual for him to give sympathy and advice.

Harry was shocked at the older mans compassion and understanding. Before he knew it, the two men were sitting on his bed and he was telling Snape everything, excluding the dream. “…So Ron thinks that I can’t have feelings for another boy, because no guy is going to be any different from any girl I have met, and because the wizarding world won’t accept that Harry “The-Boy-Who-Lived” Potter is gay.”
“Are you sure you are gay Harry?” Severus looked straight into Harry’s eyes. Harry met his eyes and then looked down and the floor, but Severus put two fingers under his chin and lifted his face so that their eyes met once again. He repeated the question “Are you sure Harry, it is quite a thing to claim, especially if you are unsure.”

The men kept their eyes locked for some time before Harry finally answered. “I don’t know for sure Severus, I just don’t know. I am completely turned off by girls though. They are all after my image. Maybe my father would have enjoyed being in my position, but not me. I don’t want any thing to do with them. I want someone who can be strong with me, who can be my friend, and my lover. Who isn’t after The-Boy-Who-Lived… who is after Harry.”

“Do you think such a person really exists Harry? I heard you say that you had thought you had found someone… Who Harry?”

When the younger man looked into Severus’ eyes he saw something, but he couldn’t quite work out what it was. Pleading? Love? It seemed to be a mixture of the two. But he was so sure now that if he told Severus about the dream and how he was feeling, that even if he was rejected by the older man, he would understand and not isolate him for it. “Severus, please do not get angry with me, I don’t know if this is just a passing feeling or hormones or what, but I had a dream about you last night, about you and I together and it felt so amazing. You are the only one who sees me for who I am. You don’t care about any of the rest of it. You are the best friend I have had in the last two years, you have helped me so much and I trust you more than anyone… Is it normal for these feelings to change and grow into other things?”

“Harry… I don’t know what to say. I really don’t. Yes, we have grown close over the last few years and I myself think that my feelings have grown a bit further than just the simple friendship and trust we have. But I am thinking what is best for you…” Seeing Harry’s once more horrified look, and realising that he must be thinking that he, Severus, was thinking along the same lines as Ron, quickly rectified the situation “No, no, no Harry I did not mean that I would reject you being gay, or not support you 100% in your decisions and actions… I just think you need a little time to sort out your feelings and see if they are true. Once you have made up your mind over this… this… situation, please come and talk to me, either way.”

With that he somehow magically left the room, which left Harry sitting on the bed wondering why he hadn’t asked how he got there in the first place.