The Fall

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this tale, and receive no proceeds from it. All borrowed courtesy of Ms. J.K. Rowling.


Severus woke with an aching head and a mouth full of cotton. Gingerly moving, he sat up. He cracked open one eye only to be assaulted by the streaming sunlight. He lifted a hand to shield his face. He was alone in the bedroom. He stumbled to the bath to wash the night from his face. As he surveyed himself in the mirror last night’s events came tumbling back to him.

Silently cursing his stupid Sev Severus knew he would have to continue keep his distance. It wouldn’t do for his wife to discover that he had fallen in love with her. Unwillingly of course. But it had happened, and he was in agony. He’d been unable to even stand sleeping next to her at night, hearing her breathe and dreaming of him. Him, being Ronald Weasley. Ronald Weasley was a spectre that slept in his marriage bed. One that had driven him from his home and his family.

Severus had married Hemione to stop Draco from forcing her into marriage. However, Severus never thought that marriage with Hermione would be this difficult or confusing. At first they tolerated each other’s presence, they had little choice but to make the best of the situation. Severus had been relieved that Hermione, amazingly, was pregnant after the wedding night.

The wedding night. What an absolute disaster that had been! Hermione lying stiff and unresponsive underneath him. Severus forcing himself into her dry and resistant flesh. The look on her face when he broke through her maidenhead. Her disgust with him afterwards. All of it haunted Severus. If only he had not had to consummate the marriage then, perhaps he would have been able to eventually coax her into willingly submitting to him. If only Hermione had been willing to take an aphrodisiac, maybe things would have been easier for her at least.

Snorting softly, Severus scoffed at the falseness of that thought. Willingly submit. Not Hermione. Never Hermione. She had made clear to him her enormous dislike of him. If he occasioned to brush close to her body, she jumped back as if primed to defend herself from attack.

How he could love someone that clearly spurned him was beyond him. He had long admired her intelligence, though he only admitted that himself. But he had never thought of her as a woman until that fateful night. If he had not taken her, their marriage would have been annulled. But since then he had noticed everything about her.

He often watched her while she was reading. Wanting to run his fingers over her silken skin and to touch her intimately. To comb through her impossibly unruly hair and bury his face in its mass. To kiss the pulse that ran through the slim column of her neck and feel her heart beating for him. To possess her in the most basic way a man could a woman, yet to give himself to her as well. But she would sit there engrossed, unknowingcaricaring.

But Severus had been happier to be with her, than without her. Especially because of the children. His beautiful little ones. His one link to Hermione. The only two beings on this Earth he was able to love freely without shame or fear. Even that never would have occurred without Hermione.

It was she that had first place those tiny bodies in his arms telling him, “Look, Severus. Look at them. At tht they adorable?”

And he did. Adore them that is. But something inside him changed several months ago. He had left his children behind, fleeing from Hermione.

Hermione had always talked in her sleep, but Severus never cared. He often found her middle of the night ‘talks’ amusing. Until one night he realized that she was having a very sexual dream. He had lain there taut with desire, wanting nothing more than to turn to her and wake her with kisses. Then she had whispered a name. The wrong name. Ron. Though he was dead, it seemed he had very thorough possession of Severus’ wife. It was too much to bear. He would be damned if he remained in that bed listening to Hermione dream of another man. Especially after all this time.

Severus felt that four and half years was more than ample time to recover from a personal loss. He had held back his own desires and needs. The years had flown by faster than he realised. First the twins’ birth. Then watching them discover the world had been so entrancing that he had firmly put his attraction to Hermione to the backburner.

But the last year had been a trial. Her body had ripened and matured. Even her natural odor seemed more womanly somehow. Severus’ desire for his wife had risen to wake him from his sexual slumber. He wanted Hermione. How could he remain in his home when every night she dreamed of another man? Yet how could he allow himself to be run off by the memory of that man? These were questions that hammered at him. Normally, Severus was much more decisive. This dithering and confusion was driving him mad.

Last night Severus had sat in his rooms at Hogwarts with a bottle of Ogden’s best firewhiskey, drowning not his sorrows, but his dreams. His dreams were things that he had long packed away. Somehow while he was falling in love, they had been resurrected. This desire for the impossible was impractical, he knew. He ruthlessly forced them back, but every once in a while they rose again. Tormenting him, taunting him with the knowledge of what could never be.

In his inebriated state Severus had decided that he could no longer live within this passionless union. He would make love to his wife. She was his. Bound by law. And he would have her. He would wipe Ron from her mind and fill her with himself.

Sober, he was ashamed and deeply embarrassed by his behaviour. He would ignore the incident, and surely she would forget it. After all, nothing of significance had happened. He hadn’t even kissed her. Thankfully, he hadn’t said anything to completely betray himself. He could move past this awkward moment. He would have to. It wouldn’t do for Hermione to know of his feelings.

When he was finally ready to join his family, Severus hesitated at the door. He could hear them downstairs. Serena’s clear tones rang over the others more muffled words. Serena. His darling girl. How he loved her. He loved Sebastian as well, and was aware that he couldn’t have a more wonderful son. Sebastian was one of those souls loved almost universally. Serena, however, was special. While she had his colouring, she was certainly better looking than he. But it was her immense will that fascinated him. A more determined child he had yet to meet. Her tongue was as quick as her mind. He often found himself hiding laughter at her more outrageous comments.

Hermione felt rather than saw Severus enter the kitchen. Her pulse quickened. Trying to steady her breathing, Hermione continued to eat. “Good morning, Severus,” she said quietly.

“Good morning,” Severus dark eyes sought hers briefly before turning his attention to the twins. He deftly caught Serena as she flung herself shrieking into his arms.

“Daddy! I missed you! Are you staying? Do stay Daddy. Seb and I are going to Mrs. MacGregor’s to see the new puppies. May I have a puppy? I really want a puppy! They are so sweet. Please, Daddy!” Serena’s happy chatter was soothing and familiar.

Sebastian’s face lit up at the sight of his father, “Daddy!” Severus by now had each child straddled on a leg.

“As it is my free Saturday, we can do whatever you like,” he informed them. “Now, finish your breakfast or there’ll be no trip to the MacGregor farm.”

After everyone had finished eating, Hermione sent the children to wash up. She began to clear the debris of the morning meal.

“You are tired.” Severus began to help Hermione. He had noticed lately that she seemed exhausted and wondered at it. Did she miss him? Of course not. For her only Ron existed.

“Why Severus how observant of you,” she returned tartly. “Of course I’m tired. You try taking care of two active children fulltime, not to mention this huge house!”

“I did not realize it was such a hardship to care for our children, Hermione. Why did you not ask for help?” Severus felt taken aback at her accusing tone.

“Help? Exactly whom should I ask for help, Severus? You?” Hermione laughed humorlessly. Suddenly she was angry, she could feel her anger flow through her. “You don’t live here anymore! Don’t you remember? You took your things and fled to Hogwarts! Why, Severus? What did I do that you would just leave the way you did?”

“Hermione, lower you voice,” he hissed, his nostrils flaring. “Now is not the time to discuss this matter.”

“No? Then when is the time to discuss it? I want this settled, now. I can’t take this anymore!” Hermione put down the dishes in the sink.

“Fine. You want me to come home. Give me a reason to do so.” Severus watched her closely waiting for her rejection.

“What are you talking about?” Hermione’s face twisted in confusion. “This our home, when have I ever made you feel unwelcome, Severus?”

A sly look came over him, making her feel uncomfortable. He reached a long fingered hand to capture a curl. Moving closer, he crowded her against the sink, his robes and scent enveloping her. Using the curl as leverage, he drew her to him until they almost touched.

“I have never been welcome in your bed, Hermione,” murmured Severus. He studied her face, his other hand coming up to cup her check. His thumb caressed her skin slowly. “Let me into your bed Hermione, and I’ll return home.”

Hermione stared at him, unable to respond, her eyes enormous with shock.

“Ah, lost your ability to speak, have you?” Severus’ hands dropped and he stepped back. “You don’t have to answer me now, of course. When we return from the MacGregor farm should be enough time.”

At the sound of the children returning, Severus moved to help them into their outer garments. After they were all bundled, they wished their mother goodbye. As Severus passed through the door he sent her a speaking look and disappeared outside.

Hermione was trembling when she sat down. Severus wanted her. He wanted her. She couldn’t really process it. She had never seen him as sexually needy. Never really seen him at all, until recently.

Closing her eyes, she relived how she felt when he had almost pressed himself into her. She wished he had. She wanted to feel his body against her own. She wanted to feel every inch of him touching her.

Aching with need, Hermione distracted herself with a flurry of activity. She cleaned the entire house and set a stew simmering for the evening meal. Thank goodness Molly Weasley had taught her some everyday household spells.

She then took a long bath and slathered her body in a sweetly scented cream. Even her hair received extra care. She felt as if she were preparing for a long awaited lover. She wanted everything just right. Nerves played havoc with her normal sensibility and she almost forgot to take a contraception potion. Now, she was ready. For what she wasn’t sure. But Hermione knew one thing; tonight she would finally fulfill her most secret fantasy.

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A.N. I freely admit, Serena is closely modeled after my own female demon spawn. Unfortunately, my son, nowhere near as angelic as Sebastian.