Taking

Title: Taking
Author: Dr. Jeckell & Mrs. Hyde (aka Taran & Magdelena)
Summary: HP/SS – Slash – 2/7. Harry loses control during an Occlumency lesson in seventh year, and takes out two years worth of bottled up rage, anger and frustration on Severus Snape. This is an extremely dark piece dealing with sensitive issues such as rape/non-consensual sex, sexual abuse, and physical violence.
Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Genres: Romance, Angst, Darkfic
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Non-consensual sex, Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations, BDSM
Beta: The incredibly wonderful Sev1970
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated… jeckell_and_hyde@yahoo.com
Archive: We’d be thrilled, but please ask us first.
Disclaimer: We do not own any of the characters herein (only the plot). All the characters in the Harry Potter universe belong exclusively to J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, and anyone else JKR chooses to allow to play with them. We are publishing our fanfiction writings only for our own selfish desire to be a part of their world.

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IMPORTANT Authors\' Note:

Be FOREWARNED!!! This is NOT a typical fluffy, funny, sweet tale from either Taran or Magdelena. This is dark, very dark! See the appropriate warnings above before reading any further! Expect non-con/rape and violence! Proceed with caution.

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Chapter Two – Understanding Why


Severus awoke with a start. The first thing he noticed was a pair of arms wrapped protectively around him and the next thing he noticed as he tried to snuggle closer to the warmth surrounding him, was a throbbing headache and his incredibly sore body. The memories from the night before began crashing over him like a tidal wave, leaving him feeling nauseous and dizzy.

As he took several deep breaths, Harry\'s words from the previous night flooded in, washing away his fear, and he relaxed once again as he let out a slow breath and nuzzled against Harry\'s neck. Putting all the pieces together, Severus could now see everything quite clearly. Harry hadn\'t been doing it for power, to prove to himself that he was stronger than Severus, and he hadn\'t done it out of hate. Severus had finally managed to do what he had been attempting to do for over a year; he had pushed Harry over the edge of his anger. It hadn\'t come out in the way Severus had expected, but he didn\'t regret that it happened. He could only hope now, in the light of day, Harry wouldn\'t regret it either.

He struggled out of Harry\'s arms to sit up, whimpering softly from the pain in his abused body and hoping not to waken the younger man just yet. As exhausted as he was, he knew Harry was probably worse from his expelled emotions.

Harry’s eyes slid open slowly as he felt someone shift beside him, and heard the pain-filled sound. It took him a few minutes to realize where he was. Suddenly, the memories came flooding back to him in a rush.

“Oh my GODS! It wasn’t a dream? I really did… What the FUCK is wrong with me??” Harry suddenly felt very cold and bereft, like he could never be warm again. He stumbled to his feet and over to the washbasin in the corner. His stomach roiled, and he retched into the basin, physically sickened by the invading memories of what he had done.

When he finally, finished, he wiped his mouth on a towel and sat back heavily on the nearby stool; his attention drawn immediately to the pale body of the man he loved, wincing in obvious pain despite the potions Harry had given him, and the healing spells that had been performed. Harry’s voice was barely a whisper when he finally spoke again. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, never like this.”

Severus got unsteadily to his feet and swayed a moment. He rolled his neck gently from side to side, working out the kinks and stiffness that had settled in from sleeping in a bad position. He then stretched his entire body slowly and carefully, conscious of Harry\'s worried stare. He used his years of spy training to keep his face impassive as pain lanced through him. The potions and healing charms Harry had used had worked to take the edge off, but nothing more. He had developed a very high tolerance to medications due to his years of spying.

He took a deep breath, about to tell Harry to calm down, but his stomach chose that moment to roll. He had been nauseous when he woke and hearing Harry vomiting had not helped. He started to move to the bathroom, but only made it a few steps before his stomach rebelled. He covered his mouth with one hand and held his stomach with the other, demanding his body to obey. After a moment, it began to settle again and he sighed with relief.

Finally making it to the bathroom, Severus closed the door softly and went through his morning routine, except for the shower. He wrapped himself tightly in a spare robe and came out of the bathroom. He was relieved to find Harry still there.

\"Shower,\" he commanded. \"I\'ll make tea.\"

Harry looked at the Potions Master incredulously, waiting for the inevitable acerbic reaction. He could see that Severus was in a great deal of pain, despite the fact that he had carefully schooled his features not to reveal anything. Part of Harry desperately wanted to go to the man and hold him tenderly, take all of his soreness away and heal him, but each time he wanted to reach out, it occurred to Harry that he was the precise reason that Severus was in such a terrible state.

Harry watched on, waiting as Severus slowly made his way out of the room. When Severus walked through the door to his office and left the classroom, Harry was unsure of what he should do. Part of him thought that perhaps he should leave, that Severus obviously did not want his company any longer, but another part of him was rooted to the spot knowing that he owed Severus every opportunity to berate and belittle him for what he had done. So he sat quietly, awaiting Severus’ return.

So when Severus entered, Harry expected at the least to be told to leave, and at the most to be told that Severus had already made arrangements to have the Aurors pick him up to take him to Azkaban. What he didn’t expect was to be offered a shower and tea. He thought about questioning Severus, but decided that the best course of action was to follow Severus’ commands.

He stood and carefully made his way to the bathroom. He stripped off his trousers, and showered quickly, not wanting to tarry too long, and certainly not wanting to remember why his body was in such dire need of a washing. He exited the shower and faced another problem. He had no clothing. Even his uniform pants from the day before, which he had left on the floor, were now gone, obviously removed by some over-helpful house elf.

Not knowing what else to do, Harry dried himself thoroughly and then grabbed a robe from the back of Severus’ bathroom door. He pulled the garment tightly around him, and walked uncertainly from the room. He noticed that the door he had come through was now closed, and that another doorway down a short hall was opened. He walked quietly down the hall, and emerged into a warm and cozy sitting room. Severus was perched on the edge of the sofa, a tea set on the table before him.

\"Sit,\" Severus said softly, nodding to the spot next to him on the sofa. He poured the tea into the cups, spilling a little as his hand shook. He added one teaspoon of sugar to one cup and used two hands to pick it up and give to Harry. He picked up his own black tea and took a small sip, setting it back down quickly, afraid of spilling it with his nervousness.

\"You…\" he hesitated, uncertain of what to say. He stared into the fire, unable to meet Harry\'s eyes. \"You said you\'ve been in love with me for a while…that you wanted to be with me. Why didn\'t you ever tell me or give any indication?\"

To say Harry was startled by Severus’ question would be an understatement. He moved slowly to the sofa, retrieved the cup of tea from Severus’ hands, and sat down where the Potions Master had indicated. He tried to put as much distance as possible between himself and the older wizard, seeing that Severus was obviously still terrified of him, and not wanting to upset the man further. He couldn’t understand why Severus would want to speak with him, much less ask him about his feelings, but he was determined to let Severus handle this any way he wanted to.

“I never thought you would ever see me as anyone but my father,” the Gryffindor answered honestly, letting the warmth of the cup seep into his suddenly chilled hands. “I’ve been attracted to you since the summer after fifth year. I spent a lot of time that summer acknowledging to myself how wrong I had been about you. I watched you that summer, a lot. It was the first time I realized that I was attracted to men.” Harry paused for a few moments to better organize his thoughts, then shrugging his shoulders, answered what he suspected was Severus’ unasked question…Why?

“I’ve never wanted anyone else. You’re the only one who doesn’t give a damn about the Boy Who Lived and you’re the only one who sees me as Harry.” The young wizard snorted miserably. “Of course, you had some pretty fucked up ideas about how pampered I was growing up, but I suspect that what you’ve seen when you’ve been inside of my mind has managed to dispel a few of those notions.”

\"Yes, you\'re certainly not the spoilt child I had assumed you to be.\" Severus had seen enough of the young man’s memories to know that he had indeed been far from spoiled. While Harry’s family had not exactly been physically abusive, they had most certainly been verbally and emotionally abusive.

It suddenly occurred to Severus exactly why Harry had lashed out the way he had, and he thought he understood why the anger had manifested itself in the way that it had. The young man was starved for physical attention and closeness, which he had never received from his aunt and uncle. The realization helped him relax further and he sighed gently.

\"I pushed you too far, and for that I am so very sorry, Harry,\" he said softly, bowing his head in shame. \"I only wanted to help you work through your anger, and I\'ve only caused you more pain.\"

Harry’s temper flared suddenly when he heard Severus blaming himself for what had happened between them. “You WHAT?? You’re apologizing to me? Are you bloody well INSANE??” Harry questioned loudly. He suddenly noticed how still Severus had become, and swallowed, his anger melting away when he saw how frightened the Potions Master had become.

“I apologize,” Harry whispered softly. “I should not have raised my voice, but Severus, I’m just finding it difficult to believe that you could think you share any blame in this at all.”

Harry cocked his head, trying to encourage Severus to meet his eyes. When at last the Slytherin looked up through his eyelashes at Harry, the younger man continued, his voice steady. “I raped you. You said ‘no’. You begged me to stop. I didn’t heed any of your pleas. I am the one to blame here, not you, and when I listened to you willingly taking the blame for what happened, it just got me angry.”

Harry tentatively reached out a hand to Severus’ cheek, but withdrew it when he saw Severus flinch away from him. “I promise you, I’m in control again; I won’t hurt you. I only wish I could have exercised this kind of control before when I…” Harry’s voice trailed off, and he stood from the sofa abruptly. He paced towards the fireplace, burying his hands in the pockets of the robe he was wearing. “I just don’t understand; I’ve never been this out of control before. It was obviously a mistake starting these Occulmency lessons again.”

\"Albus apparently had his reasons for forcing us into this.\" Severus sat back in the sofa and watched Harry pace. He was amazed at the control Harry had just shown when his anger had flared up. It truly was a far cry from the young man’s reaction the night before.

Feeling the tension in the room, Severus decided on a bit of levity to lighten the mood, as much for his own sake, as for Harry\'s.

\"Perhaps you\'re in more control now because the Dark Lord is sleeping in.\" He smirked a moment before his words suddenly became quite clear.

Harry suddenly pivoted in place, his mouth hanging open, gobsmacked at what Severus had unintentionally implied. “Albus said something similar at the end of my fifth year. He told me that when I had looked at him I had seemed inappropriately angered. He speculated that Voldemort’s feelings about him might be influencing my emotions. If that’s true, then do you think it might be possible that my anger over you goading me about my father may have been fueled by Voldemort’s feelings about you being a traitor to his cause?”

\"Yes, Harry, that\'s exactly what I think has happened.\" Severus rubbed his tired eyes, then sank his head into his palms. He couldn\'t believe he hadn\'t thought of it sooner and realized what was happening with Harry.

\"You\'ve been channeling the Dark Lord\'s anger, which has fuelled your own. I wouldn\'t be surprised to find out that something happened last night to piss him off even more and that\'s what pushed you over the edge.\"

Severus growled low and stood up. He gave a slight wince as pain reminded him to slow his movements. \"Don\'t even start!\" he told Harry, before the younger man could apologize again for causing him pain. \"It\'s not that bad.\" He suddenly blushed as he realized that it really wasn\'t bad. It was an almost pleasurable kind of pain.

“It really wasn’t me then. It all makes so much sense.” Harry’s shoulders slumped, his relief palpable. He wasn’t proud of the fact that he had never learned to close off his mind to Voldemort, and knew that had he better controlled his own emotions, Voldemort never would have had anything to feed off of. He tucked those thoughts away for the moment though when he noticed Severus’ cheeks staining with colour.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, please.” Harry crossed the room and stood before Severus tentatively. “I don’t want you to keep any secrets from me. It’s obvious that you don’t intend to have me sent to Azkaban, or expelled.” Harry sighed sadly. “Whether it was my intention or not, I know I’ve probably destroyed any chance of us ever being together, but it would help if we could try to get along at least.”

\"Uh…\" Severus paused, not sure just how honest he should be. The tingling mix of pain and pleasure currently in his arse was sending the blood flowing from his brain into other areas. He thought he must be insane to be considering another round of rough sex and was certain that Harry would think him insane, too. Knowing Harry had not attacked him all on his own added to the trust he was already beginning to feel towards Harry.

Severus shifted on his feet slightly, wincing and blushing again at the wave of pain/pleasure that laced through his body. Even all the little aches and pains were starting to feel good. Standing so close to Harry wasn\'t helping his suddenly raging libido, either.

\"It… It\'s nothing,\" he said, turning away, scared that Harry would think him disgusting and sick for finding pleasure in the rape that had occurred between them.

“Please, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s bothering you.” Harry reached a hand out to Severus automatically in order to stop him from turning. He was amazed when this time not only did Severus not flinch from him, but instead pressed his own arm back against Harry’s hand. Harry gently stroked his hand along the older wizard’s bicep. “I’ve done so much to hurt you already. I’ll do whatever I can to make amends.”

\"Harry, I…\" Severus sighed deeply and turned to look into Harry\'s emerald eyes. \"I don\'t want to…\" he shook his head, trying to find the right words that wouldn\'t scare Harry away. \"I feel good, Harry. Very good, really. I know it doesn\'t make sense and you\'ll probably be disgusted, but… I like how I feel right now, if you understand what I mean?\" He looked at Harry with hope.

“You can’t mean…” Harry met Severus’ gaze expectantly. “You’ll really give me a chance to make it up to you? You’ll really give us a chance?”

Severus tried to stifle a snicker as Harry completely misunderstood him. \"That\'s not what I meant, Harry.\" At the saddened look in Harry\'s eyes, Severus was quick to explain further. \"I mean I do! Want to try… I… Oh, bloody hell.\" He sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose as he gathered his thoughts.

\"Harry…\" Severus started, looking deep into the cool emeralds before him. \"I do want to give \'us\' a try. I do love you, but that wasn\'t what I meant about feeling \'good\' right now…\"

He growled and shook his head when Harry just stared at him in confusion. \"The SEX, Harry! The sex was good, okay? Have I spelled it out enough for you?\" He growled again as his cheeks turned bright pink.

Harry blinked several times before attempting to form a coherent reply. “I’m sorry. I know this is incredibly embarrassing for you to have to explain it to me, but I’m finding it difficult to believe that you could consider what just happened between us as ‘sex’. Even if Voldemort was controlling my thoughts at the time, I still brutalized you, took you against your will. You can’t mean to say that you enjoyed being frightened and overpowered. Or can you?”

Harry reached up a hand to stroke a lock of Severus’ dark hair back from his cheek. “I want to understand. Please help me; I’m very new at all of this. I’m not going anywhere unless you make me leave. You can tell me anything.”

Severus moved back to the sofa and sat down heavily. \"I don\'t know how to explain it, Harry. It wasn\'t the violence of the act, but the act itself that I enjoyed… and the fact that it was YOU I was with. I\'ve had other… rough partners, but none made me feel so… possessed, so wanted! And never have I felt so alive as I did with you last night. I loved being under your complete control. Does any of this make sense to you?\" Severus looked up at Harry with hope-filled eyes.

Harry came over and kneeled in front of Severus, taking the older wizard’s hands in his own. “It does make sense. I’ll admit, most of my fantasies about us being together have involved me being quite dominant with you, but in every one of them you were a willing partner. It’s possible that Voldemort was even able to feed off of my subconscious thoughts and somehow subvert them into what happened. I have no idea.” Harry stopped and took a breath, organizing his thoughts.

“But because of what transpired I can’t promise you I’ll be comfortable with being very aggressive with you, especially not right away. I don’t want to feel like I’m ever forcing you into anything, not ever again.” His hands ran gently up Severus’ arms and across the man’s shoulders. “I don’t even have a clue how much of my anger is me, and how much is Voldemort. I need you to help me to control my mind and be able to block him out before I’m willing to even consider trying anything of that sort with you.”

Severus gave him a gentle smile then leaned in to kiss him softly. \"I promise to do all that I can to teach you, Harry,\" he said softly. \"I think there\'s something that you can start learning right now, however.\" Severus smirked and his eyes glittered mischievously.

He stood up, pulling Harry with him, then kissed him passionately, his hands weaving into Harry\'s wild black hair. As they kissed, Severus turned them around. He then gently pushed Harry into the seat he had just vacated, breaking their kiss and gasping for air. He knelt on the floor at Harry\'s feet and looked up at him submissively.

\"Start by telling me what you want, Harry. Lead me… Take me,\" he quietly begged.

Harry sat in stunned silence for a moment before he could verbalize a response. His cock throbbed, his body practically begging to heed Severus’ request. “You mean now? Today? Are you sure you’re ready for that? I mean I’m aching to touch you again, but you’re still hurt from last night…”

Severus fixed Harry with a glare, reassuring the young wizard more than his words ever could.

“All right, all right!” Harry agreed. “But I’m not risking having a repeat performance of last night until we’re sure about how to control Voldemort. If this is going to happen, it’s going to be slowly, and tenderly. You said you wanted me to tell you what I want, so I’m telling you. Do we have a deal?”

Severus nodded once slowly, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and sat on his heels waiting for Harry to give orders. Trust, love, and amusement were clear in his dark eyes.

Harry chewed on his lower lip nervously, watching as Severus waited for his first command. His voice was hesitant at first, and he blushed as he verbalized his desires. “I-I want your hands and your lips and your tongue and your teeth all over me. I’ve fantasized about those long fingers of yours tweaking my nipples, wrapping around the base of my shaft, teasing me mercilessly, and then finally, having the mouth that ridiculed me and taunted me, sucking on my cock.”

Severus\' eyes lit up at Harry\'s words and his heart leapt with desire. He reached out with shaking hands and placed them on Harry\'s ankles. He slid them slowly up Harry\'s powerful legs, parting the light robe Harry wore, along the way. He kissed each exposed knee, then licked it. He pulled the robe open completely, then resumed his slow exploration of Harry\'s legs, licking the inner thighs and nipping gently on the tender flesh.

His lips stopped at Harry\'s cock, licking around it, under it on his balls, everywhere but the hardened shaft itself. While his mouth was busy, his hands continued upward, his fingers lightly mapping out each and every ridge and muscle, before playing gently over sensitive nipples. He pinched them at the same time and looked up at Harry\'s sharp intake of breath. He smirked up at his young lover as he gently raked his nails down Harry\'s smooth chest. As Harry was still shivering from the stimulation to his nipples, Severus\' lips slid down his cock.

As Severus’ mouth and hands moved across his flesh, Harry’s voice became more confident. “Yes, that’s it. Exactly like I’ve always dreamed.”

When Severus’ mouth finally closed over Harry’s hardened shaft, and his tongue circled the sensitized head, Harry moaned loudly. His hands automatically moved to hold the soft, inky strands of hair back from the Potions Master’s face, so he could view the sight of his cock being suckled more easily. “You’ve got a sinful mouth, do you know that Severus? Do you know how good you look? Kneeling like that between my legs.”

Harry’s legs spread wider, and his fingers tightened in Severus’ hair, pulling the man further down onto his shaft, and closer against his body. “That’s it, keep that other hand busy playing with my nipples. Don’t you dare stop now. I need to come so badly, and I want you to…s-swallow every drop,” he stammered out, as the desire raged inside of him.

Harry heard Severus moan low in his throat, and he began unconsciously pumping Severus’ head up and down on his rigid shaft. He could feel the tightness beginning to coil low inside his stomach, and began bucking his hips in his attempts to shove his cock even deeper down Severus’ throat, while still yanking down Severus’ head to meet his thrusts.

“Oh…sweet Merlin…SEV’RUS!” he shouted, his hands moving to Severus’ shoulders, and his hips bucking upward one final time, as he climaxed hard and long, filling the Potions Master’s mouth with his seed.

Severus felt Harry\'s climax building and pulled back just enough so that he wouldn\'t choke when Harry came. He moaned around the pulsing cock as his own pleasure increased when Harry\'s semen filled his mouth. He swallowed fast and hard so as not to lose a single drop, just as Harry had told him to. He whimpered as he felt his own cum shoot out, soaking his robes. He pulled off of Harry and licked him clean before resting his head on Harry\'s sweaty and trembling thigh, panting and rubbing gentle circles on the other leg.

Harry slumped back into the sofa bonelessly as he slowly came down from his amazing high. He felt Severus’ tongue sliding along his still sensitive cock, and then felt Severus leaning his cheek against his thigh. The utter submissiveness of the gesture shocked Harry into awareness.

He looked down at Severus, anxiety evident in his features. “Oh my gods, Severus, I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you? I never intended to get so rough. I…”

Severus snickered lightly and looked up at Harry with love-filled eyes. He turned and kissed the thigh he was resting on before crawling up into his lover\'s lap. He pressed his lips to Harry\'s and parted his mouth, inviting Harry in to taste himself. It was several moments before he ended the kiss with a contented sigh. He took one of Harry\'s hands and kissed the palm before placing it on his chest, over his heart, which was still racing. He then slid the hand down the soft material of his robe to the wet spot just above his flaccid member. He smirked as Harry\'s eyes lit up with understanding.

\"You did nothing wrong, my love,\" he whispered before kissing Harry again.

Harry moaned, his tongue seeking out the moist recesses of Severus’ mouth to deepen the kiss. The thought that Severus had been so stimulated by his actions and words that he had orgasmed without even a touch to his own cock, made Harry’s arousal again flare to life. The hand that was still intertwined with Severus’ and resting on the Potions Master’s abdomen, inched lower, skirting under the robe to brush against Severus’ cock, his other hand holding firmly on Severus’ hip. Harry lifted his own hips slightly, pressing his once-again throbbing erection against Severus’ arse.

“Just the thought that you came just from pleasuring me has me already hard again, and needing more.”

Severus laughed lightly as he felt Harry growing stiff again so soon. \"Teenagers,\" he teased. \"I however am not one. I need to rest, and a shower and some breakfast would be nice, too.\" He yawned and began pulling himself off Harry\'s lap and away from the hard cock that pressed against him.

Harry’s hands moved quickly to encircle Severus’ wrists, pulling the older man roughly back down against his body, his erection now insistent and hard, grinding firmly against the crack of Severus’ arse.

“I don’t THINK so, you ruddy little tease. Did I SAY you had a choice in the matter?” Harry spat out. The vein in the Gryffindor’s temple throbbed visibly, and his jade green eyes occasionally flashed with a crimson glow. “I am no child, and you will NOT treat me as one. I’ll show you exactly what a mere ‘teenager’ is capable of.”


~TBC~