Love Square

Alas, all of the Potterverse belongs to the great JKR.

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Chapter Two: How Can You Say You Don’t Want Me?

Six months had passed since Hermione, Ron, and Harry had been sent back in time. Ron was loving every minute of his apprenticeship, Harry could now levitate himself six feet off the ground, and Hermione’s crush on Professor Snape had spiraled out of control. It seemed to her that he was all she ever thought about. She spent a good five hours a night with him. Most nights they didn’t even work on a potion, they just sat and talked.

Hermione walked to Snape’s office one night with one thought in her mind: Tonight I will seduce him. Of course she had tried before. She has shortened her skirt so much she froze when she entered his office. But tonight was different. Tonight, she would get her way. She recruited Ginny Weasley, who had long since figured out that they existed twice, to help her.

“I think you should go in Muggle clothes. And of course you have to let me do your makeup,” Ginny said to the older girl.

“I don’t have any makeup, Gin. I don’t care about that stuff.”

“Don’t worry, I have tons. Michael likes me to look nice,” she said, blushing.

Hermione rolled her eyes. Ginny and Michael Corner had been dating for ages. “How about you pick what I wear? I don’t have anything sexy or anything like that.”

“Let me dress you!”

“I don’t see the point, if he doesn’t like me for me, then maybe I don’t need him.”

“Oh, you take things so seriously. Be a girl for once!” Ginny rushed out of the room and returned with tight black shorts and a red tank top.

“You’ve got to bed kidding me. I’ll freeze my butt off in the dungeons… Then again, Snape can always warm me up,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows. Ginny laughed. “Maybe I could wear my robes over it, but don’t tie them, just them then hang open. What do you think?”

“I think that’s okay, a little boring, but okay. Are you nervous?”

“I’m about to seduce a man I’ve had a crush on for three years! Of COURSE I’m nervous. Terrified more like. Then again, sometimes, when we’re alone, I get the feeling that he likes me, too.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, last week he saw that I was shivering and he came up and tied my robes for me. And another time he gave me a glass of his Firewhisky. It went straight to my head and I fell down and he caught me and carried me to the couch. He sat there and rubbed my back while I retched. But Merlin, don’t repeat any of that. The boys would flip.”

“Especially Ron, you know he has a thing for you.”

“Yeah, I know. I like him, too, but I think I might love Professor Snape. Severus. I love how that sounds! I think I’ll ask if I can call him that. He calls me Hermione now. But if it doesn’t work out with him, I think I’ll go out with Ron. He’s a nice guy. But he’s no Professor Snape.”

“Severus, you mean. Now get over here so I can do your makeup.” Ginny spent about ten minutes putting on blush, pink lipstick, brown eye shadow, and brown eyeliner on. Then Hermione put on some Muggle Frizz-Ease and her hair was tamed. “Wow, ‘Mione… You look like a… a…”

“A girl!” Hermione finished, smiling. Ginny only nodded her agreement. “Wish me luck, it’s time.” She gave Ginny a hug and headed down to the dungeons.

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“So how are things with Hermione going?” asked Dumbledore.

“She’s a Gryffindor Know-It-All. But she’s grown on me. Sometimes I get the feeling that she likes me a little too much, though. And then I don’t know what to do. It’s not like I want a little girl swooning over me.”

“She does indeed like you. I can tell. She stares at you all the time when I come to check up on you. And what’s worse, is that I can see you have feelings for her as well,” the wizened wizard said, leaning back in his chair.

The younger wizard sighed. “Sometimes she walks in wearing these tiny little skirts. What would you do? But other times, like after that Firewhisky incident, I feel like her father. I should feel like a Professor. Detached and jaded.”

“That’s not how I feel. I care a great deal about those three. And, no matter how much you deny it, you do, too. Especially Hermione. Let me ask you, what would you do if something happened to her?” Severus blanched at this, but said nothing. “Exactly.”

“But she’s a child. I cannot feel something for a child.”

“And if she were older?”

Severus sat in his chintz chair, contemplating what to say and how to say it. After a while he finally whispered, “I would have let my lust turn into love… But she’s a child, so love is out of the question. So where does that leave me?” He got up to pace about the office. “Merlin, why can’t she just be older? She’s a fifth year! If only she were a sixth or seventh.”

“You forget, she’s sixteen already. Time Turner.”

“She’s a child, Albus. It’s wrong. I’m wrong to be having this conversation at all. Nymphadora Tonks feels something for me, Merlin knows why, but she’s been after me to take her out for coffee for ages. Maybe I can eventually forget about Her- Miss Granger. And that’s another thing, I call her Hermione. And her name is like a drug to me. I want her. But I know I can’t have her. It’s stupid to be thinking this, I’m twenty years her senior. What could she possibly see in me? I’m a greasy overgrown bat, as the students put it. They really need to come up with some new names.”

“She sees an attractive, intelligent, snarky man who risks everything to help people he couldn’t care less about.”

“She’s a child! She’s too young to understand love. She c und understand any of this.” He flopped back down in his chair and buried his face in his hands. After a good amount of time he uncovered his face and continued. “What would happen if she wanted me like I want her?”

“And how is it that you want her, Severus?”

He thought about it for a minute before responding. “She’s a beautiful young woman. And she’s dead brilliant. I’ve never seen a brain like hers. When I was a Death Eater, I used to have a different woman every night. We all did. We used them and then we threw them away. And I was fine with that, it was just lust. Love never entered the picture. And certainly never with a child. Damnit, Albus. I care about her! I don’t love her, but I lust after her. And I give a damn about her. I care what happens to her. If I thought she felt the same, I don’t know if I could control myself.” He sighed deeply. “Would you have my head on a platter if I acted on how I feel?”

Dumbledore smiled. “My dear boy,mionmione doesn’t exist as a sixteen year old, therefore I cannot stop you from loving her. I do, however, advise you to be discreet. I can think of at least two boys that would kill you for looking at her funny.”

“Thank you, Headmaster. I’ll keep all of this in mind. Right now I have a lovely young lady to get to.”

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“Enter,” Severus said as Hermione knocked on his door. If she’s wearing another short skirt, I’m going to slam her against that wall and ravish her… he was thinking as she walked in. He looked up and his breath caught in his throat. That wall is looking pretty good right about now…

“Hello, Professor. How are you?” she asked, taking her usual seat in front of his desk. He couldn’t help but let himself stare at her for a few seconds.

“Hello, Hermione. I’ve been better. I just had a rather deep discussion with the Headmaster… Aren’t you cold?” She was shivering, though she lied to him anyway. “Ah, my dear, you forget that I am a Legillimens. And you’re shivering. Let’s go sit by the fire.”

“There’s no fire in here, sir. May I call you Severus? You call me Hermione.” He stared her up and down before nodding. “Thank you, Severus,” she blushed.

“There is a fire in my sitting room, come on.” He walked around from behind his desk and held out his hand. She gladly took it and followed him into his green and silver sitting room. He let her hand go and lit a fire. She sat down on a plush green couch in front of the fire. He sat next to her, draping his arm around the back of the couch. “Why are you wearing that?” he inquired.

“You don’t like it?” she asked, horrified. He looked at her, tilting his head. “Could I have a blanket? I’ll cover up. I’m sorry, I thought you would like it,” she said, defeated. She pulled her robes around her.

He put his hand on hers, stopping her from covering up. “You look beautiful.” He wrapped him arm around her shoulders and kept his hand in hers. For a long while they just stared into each other’s eyes, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Severus was the first to find his voice. “Are you warmer now?”

She moved her face closer to his. “Not yet.” He let go of her hand and brought it up to her face. He stroked her cheek with one of his long, pale fingers.

He moved closer to her. They were only an inch apart now. “What can I do to warm you up?” He never found out the answer. She moved her lips to his and they shared their first kiss. It was short and sweet. Hermione took in a sharp breath, startling Severus. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly. She couldn’t find her voice and just nodded, throwing her arms around him. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said, smiling through their second kiss.

“Severus?” she said quietly. He pulled away and looked at her. “I’ve never done this before.”

At this information, he let go of her. She, however, didn’t let him go and just looked up at him. He put a hand on her arm, pulling her arm away from his neck. “Are you sure you want to?”

“Yes! Merlin, yes. I’ve wanted this for a long time. Could we… maybe… just not go all the way?”

He smiled at her request. “Anything for you,” he replied, kissing her again. “How far did you want to go?”

“I don’t know, I’ll let you know when we get there, ok?” He just kissed her again. This time he licked her lips and felt a shiver go down her body. He wrapped his arms around her once more and she did the same to him. He used his tongue to open her mouth. He slipped his tongue into her and kissed her deeply. Slowly he laid her back on the couch, being careful not to crush her with his weight. He moved his hand to her robes and they slipped off easily. He threw them aside. He noticed that she was still shivering.

“Are you cold? We can move into my bedroom and get under the covers if you want.” She nodded and he picked her up and carried her into his bedroom.

“Severus?” He looked at her in response. “Can I…” she trailed off, losing her Gryffindor courage.

“Can you what?”

“Can I take some of your things off?” she asked in a rush. He smiled at her, moving forward so she could undo his many buttons. “You have so many things; I don’t know where to start.” She started by shrugging his robes to the floor. Then she slowly undid all of the buttons on his vest. She was surprised to see that he wore a white button down shirt under his traditional black attire. She undid all the buttons on that, too. When he was finally shirtless, she stood back to admire his well-defined abs. He kicked off his boots and socks and she kicked off her sandals. She moved forward again and went to the many buttons on his leather pants. This is where he stopped her.

“If you take off anymore, I can’t be held responsible for my actions,” he said simply. She smiled as she walked over to the bed. She lay down, but he pulled her up again. She looked at him questioningly. “You’ve got me in nothing but pants, don’t you think I should have the same luxury?” he smirked. She smiled at him in response. He walked over to her and pulled off her red tank top. She was wearing a gold bra, and he couldn’t help but comment. “Always a Gryffindor, aren’t you?” he smiled. He reached around behind her and undid it, letting it fall to the floor. He stood back to admire her.

“But of course. And you are always a Slytherin,” she said, indicating the green and silver bed. She sat down on it and patted the spot next to her. He sat down and pulled the covers back. He gently lifted her underneath them. “Mmm, that’s much better. I’m still a little cold though,” she said, pouting. Severus took that as his cue to continue.

“If I do anything you don’t like, tell me and I may choose to stop,” he said abruptly. He never gave her a chance to answer. He slid his tongue into her mouth, wrapping her in his arms. Her arms found their way around his neck. She ran her fingers through his hair and smiled to herself, thinking that it wasn’t a bit greasy. “Believe it not, but I actually do wash my hair everyday,” he said, sensing her thoughts.

“Hey! No fair, I can’t mind read.”

He grinned at her devilishly. “It comes in handy. This way I can tell what you like and what you don’t.”

“I’m surprised that you care. You don’t strike me as a man that would.”

“Were you any other woman, I wouldn’t But you’re Hermione.” The full impact of these words hit him. She’s Hermione. A child. I’m a man. This is wrong. He shrugged, pushing the thought from his mind. He continued to kiss her, their tongues dancing together. After a time Hermione’s courage returned and she slipped her tongue into his mouth, massaging his with hers. Slowly he trailed his kisses down to her chest. He moved one hand to one chest and his mouth to the other. Severus! What are you doing? Child! CHILD! Pedophile! Dirty old man… He again pushed the thoughts from his mind.

“Severus?” she said, panting. He didn’t stop, but he looked up at her with questioning eyes. “Undress me.” He smirked and did as he was told. “Touch me.” Again, he followed orders. He kept on hand one her chest, occasionally alternating between her two mounds. He moved his hand down and brought her to climax that way. “Severus? I think I don’t want to stop. Can we… maybe… go all the way?”

Suddenly, Severus frowned, sitting up. He listened to the voice in his head scold him before continuing. He leaned down and kissed her sweetly. When he pulled up, Hermione saw the sorrow in his eyes.

“Severus? What’s wrong? If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. I didn’t mean to be pushy--” he stopped her by placing a finger on her lips.

“Merlin, you have no idea how much I want to. But this, you and me, can never be. You’re a student, entrusted to my care. Tonight I was weak. I took advantage of you. I heard a voice in my head telling me it was wrong, and I didn’t stop. For this I am deeply sorry.” Hermione smiled, relieved. She sat up and tried to wrap her arms around him, but he stopped her. “Hermione, this can’t be. Not while you’re a student. Maybe not ever.” Hermione pulled a pillow over herself to cover up, suddenly horrified. Severus got up and grabbed his robes. He wrapped them around her and took her hand, massaging her small hand with his thumb. His heart broke as he saw tears welling up in her eyes.

She started to cry. He sighed, afraid this would happen. “That’s just it. I do want you. Very much. But it’s wrong. Not only is it illegal, but it’s immoral. I’m twenty years your senior. And your Professor. And your caretaker. There are times when I think you as my little girl.”

“I wasn’t your little girl tonight,” she whispered. For the moment her sobbing has subsided.

“No, not tonight. But yesterday you were. And tomorrow you will be.”

“Then why not have tonight? If you’re worried about Dumbledore, I won’t tell him. Please, just for tonight,” she said imploringly.

He gulped, fighting to keep his emotions in check. “Because it’s wrong. And Dumbledore said that because you don’t exist, he can’t stop me from loving you. Hermione, I have never felt anything for a woman before. Ever. I didn’t even care about my own mother.”

“But you care about me?”

“Yes. But it’s only lust. I want you, but physically. I can’t allow myself to want you in all the ways you want me.”

“That’s fine! I’m not asking for a lifetime with you. Just one night.”

“Hermione, no. It can’t be. What do I need to tell you so you understand that this is wrong?”

“Tell me you don’t want me, and mean it.”

“I don’t want you the way you want me.”

“How can you say you don’t want me?”

“It’s what you needed to hear. Come on, I’ll walk you back to your room.” He got up and held out his hand, but she didn’t take it. “Come on, Hermione. Tonight is over. Let’s just forget it ever happened.”

“Severus, as long as I live, I will never forget tonight,” she said. She was no longer crying, though it looked as if she would at any minute.

He sighed and sat back down. “I won’t either. But I think we should agree not to talk about it. We can go back to being student and teacher. I promise you, you will find someone new to love. What about Mister Weasley? I know he fancies you.”

“I like Ron, yes. But I love you.” He looked at her sadly as he buttoned his robes around her bare shoulders.

“I wish I could say that back to you and mean it, but I just can’t. I think it would be best if we both found new people. People we were meant to have.”

“You know, Tonks fancies you. Are you going to go out with her?”

“I don’t fancy Tonks, but yes, I will go out with her. If only to allow myself to get over you. Then it will end.”

“Then I will go out with Ron. I promised Ginny if things didn’t work out with you I would try him.”

“You planned tonight, didn’t you?” he asked incredulously.

She grinned at him. “Ginny helped.”

“Five points to Gryffindor for seducing a Professor.” This made Hermione laugh. Only then did she realize how tired she was. She let out a big yawn. “Come on, you need to get to bed.”

“I am in bed.”

“You need to get to your own bed. This is my bed.”

“Can I just stay here for tonight? Please? I won’t try anything.” He looked at her skeptically. “Will you just hold me? Tomorrow we can pretend that tonight was just a wonderful dream.”

“For tonight, only, you may stay here. And yes, this was a wonderful dream. But in the morning you have to promise me that you will wake up. If you can do that, you can stay here. If not, I’ll carry you back to your room.”

She sighed. “I promise,” she said dejectedly. “Hold me now?” He didn’t respond. He didn’t need to. He just held her in his arms. He waved his hand and the room went completely dark. “Severus?”

“Hmm?” hentednted, half asleep.

“Can I keep this to remember you by?” she asked, indicating his robes.

“You can, but don’t make it sound like we’ll never see each other again. I’ll see you tomorrow. You’re still my apprentice.”

“In a sense, I won’t see you again. Not as my lover, but as my teacher.”

“How about as a friend?”

“A friend is something. I can live with that.”

“I’m glad. Goodnight, friend. You need to get some rest.”

“Goodnight, Severus.”

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A/N: Ahhh! The lemons! I told you they were coming.