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Total Eclipse of The Heart

By: idarakowsky
folder Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating: Adult +
Chapters: 2
Views: 6,163
Reviews: 5
Recommended: 0
Currently Reading: 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
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Turn Around Bright Eyes

Turn around Bright Eyes
 
SHE


 
I
sit with Harry.


 


Gripping
his hand.  I am perilously close to
a break down and he can see it.


 


Facing
Dumbledore.


 


Chewing
on those infernal lemon drops.


 


Waiting.


 


The
door slams and with a swish of your robes, you appear.


 


Releasing
my hand, Harry stands and offers his to you.


 


With
that unfeeling mask in place, you take it briefly and turn to Dumbledore.


 


Not
even a glance my way.


 


 


Turn
around



Every
now and then I know you’ll never be the boy you always



wanted
to be.


 


I
gaze at your back.


 


Desperate. 
Longing.


 


Why
haven’t you looked at me?????


 


8


 


Long


 


Years


 


Too
Long??


 


Turn
around


Every
now and they I know you’ll always be the only boy


 who
wanted me the way that I am



 


I
listen as you replay the final moments.  Filling
in details for Albus. Details that were forgotten in the heat of the battle by
Harry and I.


 


My
mind travels.  Visits the fear as I
rushed to you as the ashes of Voldemort rained down. 
Rushed thanks to the Gods for the heart that still beats.


 


Healing
charms hastily whispered to your body.


 


Energy
transferred from one to another by sheer force of love.
 
Still


 


I\'ve 
returned to nothing.


 


Nothing
for me.


 


No
proclamations.  No softness.  No touch.  Nothing.


 


No
emotion in your voice.


 


I
can see the coldness in your eyes, even from the back.


 


They
are burned in my brain.


 


Closing
my eyes.  Willing myself to escape. 
To return to safety.  The
coldness is gone there and I see the man who freed me.


 

Turn
around


Every
now and then I know there’s no one in the universe


as
magical and wondrous as you



  


 


Gazing
down at me, face framed in long black hair.


 


Tickling
my face on either side.


 


Hands


 


Mouth


 


Energy


 


Feelings


 


Passion


 


The
man who still lives in my heart even if not in his own. 
The man who cared once.


 


One
night.


 


Eight
years ago.


 


It
was magic.  No past, no future. 
Just him, I, and the power.


 

Turn
around


Every
now and then I know there’s nothing any better


Nothing
that I just wouldn’t do



 


Your
story grinds to an end. 


 


“Now
it’s over” you say.


 


And
finally turn around to face me.

 


Turn
around bright eyes


Every
now and then I fall apart



 

The
mask is still in place.  Your eyes
settle on mine.


 


Eyes
still cold, they hit me like an Unforgivable. 
And a realization takes hold of my heart, stopping it briefly.


 


One
night is all that I get.


 


Too
many years.


 


Lost


 


“If
that’s all, Albus, I’m afraid I must leave. 
There are other things which need my attention.” 
I rise from my seat and pointedly gaze back at him, proudly, with the
same eyes that I stared down Voldemort with. 
I willed my hand not to shake as I offered it to him. 
“Thank You”.  I turn with
a swish of my robes (my robes for a change) and am gone. 
Leaving the 3 wizards staring after me. 
 

 


Turn
around bright eyes


Every
now and then I fall apart



 


 


As
soon as the door closes behind me, I flee. 
Flee the castle, my life, my world, and run until my legs give out.  Give in to the grief, which encompasses me as he once did.


 


8
years ago


 


Power


 


Love

 


Pride


 


Longing

 


Waiting


 


Learning


 


Wasted


 


Gone…………


 


 


And
I need you now tonight


And
I need you more than ever

 

 


HE


 


 


Fool.


 


She
cannot even bear to be in my presence...


 


Too
many years.


 


Too
much history.


 


Killing,
rape, torture.


 


I
cannot bear to be in my presence either.


 


She
has been the only thing that has seen me through.


 


That
one night held the magic of a lifetime and a promise of the life to come.

bsp;bsp;


Without
her there is now nothing.
 
No
more battles.  No more purpose.
 
No
more hope.
 

 
No
more....her.

 


With
a desperate cry I sweep the flasks on the shelf off. 
With a vicious curse, the shelf flies across the room.  My desk soon joins it.  I
continue to hex and curse things until the entire room is destroyed. 
Emotions, too long buried, rage out of control.


 


Like
my resolve.


 


I
sink into a chair and drag my fingers through my hair. 
Hands that still tremble with left-over Crucio.


 


Too
many years of focusing and distancing myself.


 


No
feelings


 


No
emotion


 


Nothing
for Tom Riddle to feed on


 


Nothing
that would betray her


 


Now
after what seems like forever I have to drop the mask I have been hiding behind
and return to the world of feeling.  Do
I even remember how to smile??  How
to feel?


 


Love


 


Comfort


 


Pleasure


 


Nights
in her arms


 

And
if you’ll only hold me tight


We’ll
be holding on forever



 


I
have a lot to make up for.  The hurt
and humiliation that I have put her through for too many years. 
I pray to the Gods that she can understand why I did it.  We
never discussed the reasons that night. 


 


I
just threw her out.


 


Better
that way.


 


Better
she hated me.


 


She
never did though and I knew it.


 


 


And
we’ll only be making it right

‘Cause
we’ll never be wrong together




 


I
think back to what she overcame.


 


Fear


 


Terror


 


To
save the world.


 


I
can do the same to save us.


Together
I can
learn to feel again.


 


Trust


 


Love

 


Relax


 


Enjoy


  


 


 


Live


 
 

We
can take it to the end of the line


Your
love is like a shadow on me all of the time


 


Leaping
to my feet, I race down the corridor, up the stone stairs, and out into the
moonless night.


 


Carried
by pure instinct I seek her out.


 


Running,
reaching, searching, fruitlessly.


 


Terror
 

 


I
don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark


We’re
living in a powder keg and giving off sparks



 


The
world tonight is dark and unlit.


 


Cold
and unfeeling.


 


 Too dark to see. 

 


I
really need you tonight


Forever’s
gonna start tonight



 


A
sudden gust of wind moves the clouds.  The
silver face of the sky opens up and there is just enough light.


 


Enough
to see her.


 


She
stands in front of the water, her back to me. 
Even from this distance I can see she is shaking.


 


My
resolve is strong as I throw the mask to the wind.


 

“Forever’s
gonna start tonig/b> /b>


 


 


Once
upon a time I was falling in love


But
now I’m only falling apart.


There’s
nothing I can do


A
total eclipse of the heart



 


SHE


 


Trembling
as if under Crucio.


 


Sobbing
violently. 


 


No
control. 


 


Nothing. 

 


Tearing
at my hair. Curling clumps tangled in my hands. 
Torn out with the roots still attatched


 


Bleeding
furrows traveling down my face.


 


Half
moons in my palms, running red. 


 


That
much skin under my nails that they hurt.


 


Anything
to escape the pain in my heart. 


 


Anything.


 

 


Once
upon a time there was light in my life


But
now there’s only love in the dark


Nothing
I can say


A
total eclipse of the heart.



 


Everything


 


Everything
I have done for the last eight years was for him.


 


And
he’s just going to throw me out again.


 


Bruises

 


Curses


 


Hexes


 


Injuries


 


Fear

 


Longing


 


Terror


 


 


All

 


For

 


Him


 


 


The
wind picks up and with it, the last of my despair is swept away, across the
water. Let the squid have it.


 


Replaced
by


 


Control


 


Power


 


Resolve


 


I
am Angry


 


And
I want what’s mine.


 


This
ends tonight.


 


And
I’ll be the one doing the ending this time.
 
Turn
around bright eyes
Turn
around

 
I turn
on my heel and stalk toward the castle.
 
 
And he
is there.
 
 
Raising
my head, furious brown eyes meet his
 
 
Soft
 
 
Black
 
 
Pools
 
 
Uncertainty??
 
 
Insecurity??
 
 
Love
 
 
Always
love
 
 
8 years
to see this one look
 
 
to have
this one moment
 
 
and to
win, finally, this lifetime to come
 
 
It’s all
been worth it.
 
 
I step
forward and gaze into his facenbspnbsp;
 
Feeling
his breath.
 
 
He has
no words to offer.  Emotions are too
new to him to be able to capture with a word.  Now I will become the
teacher.
 
 
Teaching
 
 
Dueling
 
 
Power
 
 
Control
 
 
Surrender
 
 
Silently
he offer me his arms
 
 
Mouth
 
 
Body
 
 
Heart
 
 
Soul
 
 
Two
become one
 
 
I am
enveloped by darkness
 
 
and by
light.
 
 
 

The
End
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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