Nappies of Courage

All Disclaimers and Author Notes Apply:

WARNINGS: More pregnant sex, water breaking, cord biting, and Placenatinating. Don\'t bitch. I warned you.

After they entered their rooms, Severus went to sit down on the bed while Hermione waddled into their bathroom, hands pressed against her lower back. Very slowly, he removed his clothes as he mentally steeled himself for the task ahead. You can do this, he repeated over and over. He had faced Crucio, a werewolf, and Neville Longbottom--he could certainly have sex with his own wife.

At that moment, Hermione came out of the bathroom stark naked. Severus drew in a startled breath. He hadn’t seen her completely unclothed in months. She was beautiful. Her hair, which had grown at an astonishing rate, formed a soft cloud about her head and floated down to her capacious breasts. Her large rounded belly, full hips and thighs, and sturdy calves caused an immediate physical reaction in him. “You are a goddess,” he breathed.

“I look like the Venus of Willendorf,” she replied, chuckling.

“Well, yes. That’s who I meant.” She hit him playfully. “But never forget she was a goddess—the mother goddess who gave life to the world.” He stood up and pulled her to him for a kiss. Long fingers trailed down the dark line which bisected her belly. She shivered, and pushed him back on the bed. He gently tugged her down to lie beside him.

“So,” Hermione finally said. “How do we do this?”

“I think it’s going to be best with you on top.” Severus was unused to having to plan his sexual encounters, but he couldn’t help thinking of logistics. She came up to her knees, and attempted to swing her leg over him, letting out an involuntary grunt as she did so. Her attempt failed miserably, as she was unable to raise her leg to the necessary height. She tried several more times, each time making more noise. Finally, Severus couldn’t help it – he burst into laughter. After a moment of glaring angrily, so did she.

“Well, you try that with a baby’s head halfway down your bloody pelvis.” She chuckled a bit more. “Let’s try that again, shall we?” Hermione went to the end of the bed, and crawled slowly up his body. The brush of her breasts and belly against his cock caused his erection, which had faded with the laughter, to return with a vengeance. Very slowly, she lowered herself onto him and began moving. Pushing away a brief mental image of a small hand reaching out to tweak the end of his cock, Severus lost himself in the pleasure of making love to his wife once again.

Later that evening, they lay naked in their bed, covered by a thin sheen of sweat. Severus was spooned against his wife’s back, his arm draped lightly over her belly. As he was drifting off to sleep, he was startled to feel her sit up suddenly.

“Fuck!” Hermione swore, bringing her hands to her stomach.

“I thought that’s what we did, darling,” he smirked.

“No, you idiot! Oooooohhhhhh!! Shit, shit, shit, fuck, shit! That hurts!” Severus hadn’t seen that look of agony on a face since the last time he had called on Crabbe in class. The look of pain on the boy’s face as he tried to think was unbearable to behold. After that, Severus had always answered “Present” for him at roll call.

“Are you…Is this it?”

“I don’t know!” Hermione screamed at him. “I’ve never had a fucking baby before! How the hell would I know? Oh, fuck!” She clutched at him frantically.

“Hermione! I’ve never heard you use that kind of language! You shouldn’t curse around the baby.” Severus had a very superior look on his face. Hermione shifted her grip. “Darling? Can’t…breathe. You…have…my…testicles…”

Finally, he persuaded her to release her hold. Silently, he repeated You must not hex your wife. You must not hex your wife. Out loud, he calmly asked her “How will we know if this is the real thing?”

“You have to time the contractions like it said in the book I gave you. Wait a minute,” she added suspiciously, as Severus attempted to convey an air of serene understanding. “You did read the book, didn’t you.”

“Of course!” he replied indignantly. Then, as she continued to glare at him, he added “Well, most of it anyway. It was really long!”

“Maybe I should have written it in my blood,” she said tartly. “Then you would have been sure to read it all.”

Suddenly, she grabbed at his arm again. “Another one,” she gasped.

“Five minutes apart,” he said. Her eyes widened as she tried to breathe through the contraction. “Is that…bad?” She nodded wildly. “Should I get you to Poppy?” She nodded again. “All right. Let’s go.”

“Severus?” Hermione was breathing easier now.

“Yes, dear?” He was standing at the bedside, holding out a hand to help her.

“Poppy’s going to see me naked anyway, but you might want to put some clothes on before we go. No sense in distracting the poor woman.”

Once they were dressed, Severus helped Hermione through the hall to the Hospital Wing. Sad rad refused a Mobilicorpus on the theory that walking sped up labor. It certainly didn’t speed up their trip, he grumbled to himself, as she had to stop every few minutes for a contraction. During one especially hard bout, she leaned her head against the cool stone wall while Severus rubbed her back reassuringly. Just as the contraction hit its peak, they heard a familiar cackle behind them.

“Well, well. Look at the professor and his ickle wife!” Severus turned around to glare at Peeves, who, as usual was unaffected. “What’s the matter, your greasy gitness? Did being around you finally make her sick?” At that moment, a gush of fluid from between Hermione’s legs hit the floor and spla up up on Peeves. With a noise that sounded like “Erk!” the poltergeist turned even greener than usual and fled.

Casting a cleansing charm, Severus smiled at his wife. “Who knew that was all it would take to get rid of him?”

When they arrived at the Hospital Wing, Poppy took one look at Hermione and quickly bustled her to a bed. Removing Hermione’s clothes, she began to examine her. Severus nearly fainted when the mediwitch’s fingers disappeared inside his wife. Hermione, however, took it all calmly until Poppy announced “Four centimeters.”

“That’s all? Oh Merlin, I’m never going to get this baby out!” Hermione wailed.

Poppy chuckled. “I think it might be time for a pain relief potion.” Hermione immediately perked up.

“Now, Hermione,” Severus began, “I thought we decided we weren’t going to use medication during the birth.”

“We didn’t decide any such thing because we aren’t having this baby! I am!” Hermione glared at him. As the next contraction began, she pressed her hand to her Mark on his shoulder and sent her feelings through. As he gasped in pain, he could hear her thoughts. You will pay. I will make you pay.

“I think the pain relief potion is an excellent idea,” Severus managed to get out. Hermione released him and he fell back in relief.

The next several hours passed quickly. Once the pain relief potion took effect, Hermione calmed down. Though she could still feel the pain, it was blunted somewhat. However, the pain and distress was causing the Call to rise in both ofm. m. Severus was sure that Hermione would find relief in the act of childbirth, but he was nearly going mad with need. Blood. You must have blood. The Call echoed through his brain. He closed his eyes, trying to find some relief.

Lost in his reverie, he was astonished to look up and see that Albus and Potter were there, each holding one of her hands and rubbing it gently. He was even more shocked to see that Hermione had made no effort to cover herself up in their presence. When she saw his look of surprise, she snapped “Oh for fucks sake! If Filch could help me get this baby out, I’d let him.”

“Nevertheless, it is my privilege as your husband.” Severus snatched her hand away from Potter, who was looking slightly green.

“Would you like a scalp massage, Hermione?” Potter asked. “You know, up by your head. Away from…that.” He vaguely gestured towards her spread legs, where Poppy was checking her once again.

“I think it’s time!” Poppy announced brightly. “The next time you feel the urge to push, do it. Severus, you grab her right knee and pull back. Harry, you do the same on the left.”

“Do I have to?” Potter asked plaintively, aware that his position would give him a bird’s eye view of the action.

“How do you expect to kill Voldemort, Potter, if you can’t even stand the sight of a baby being born?” The scorn in Severus’ voice belied his nerves, although part of him hoped that watching the child being born would prevent Potter from ever breeding.

“Come now, Harry,” Albus interjected. “Hermione loves you as a brother, making you are the closet thing to an uncle this child will have.” Severus winced at that. Harry, though still green, nodded firmly, and grabbed Hermione’s knee.

“Are you ready, dear?” Poppy asked. At Hermione’s nod, Poppy said “Then…push!” She counted out the beats while Hermione strained. When Poppy said “Stop,” Hermione sagged back against the pillows, sobbing. This pattern continued for some time with only minor variations. The pain and tension in the room was palpable. Severus could feel the Call growing stronger by the minute.

Suddenly, Poppy announced “I can see the head.” Looking down, Severus could indeed see the crown of his child’s skull, covered with fine, black hair. Despite the blood and pain, for a moment, he was lost in the wonder of it all. Then, with another push, the baby’s head was out, followed shortly by the body. “It’s a boy!” Poppy announced happily. “Would you like to cut the cord, Severus?” She held out a pair of sterilized scissors.

His eyes were glazed from the Call as he studied the blood covered body of his son. “Indeed,” he hissed. Leaning forward, he ignored the stares of the onlookers as he bit through the umbilical cord a few inches from the baby’s stomach. As Severus licked his lips, Potter gave up and ran for a nearby wastebin. Poppy took a deep breath, then said “Well, whatever works, I suppose.”

She set the baby ormiormione’s chest, and then they all watched as the new mother’s arms came up and around him. Through their link, Severus could feel that the birth had satisfied Hermione’s Call, and her sense of relief and joy flooded through him. However, his Call was still largely unanswered. He was barely listening when Poppy asked him to help deliver the afterbirth while she cleaned the baby. Nodding absently, he watched her take his son to be weighed and bathed.

It was only the expression of distress on Hermione’s face that brought him to his senses. He moved between her legs, and,lowilowing Poppy’s instruction, held a towel to catch the placenta. With one last push, it was out, and Hermione collapsed in relief. Severus, however, was staring at the still pulsing bundle in his hands. It looked like nothing so much as a large, raw, bloody piece of meat. He barely noticed Poppy coming to place the baby back into Hermione’s arms, and then checking to make sure all the pieces of the placenta had been delivered. The Call throbbed through his veins. It needed, it wanted, it demanded …

At last, Poppy’s tart voice cut into his thoughts. “I realize it is considered traditional to consume the placenta, Severus, but civilized people generally wait until it has been cooked.” Somewhat sheepishly, he stood up, wiped his bloody mouth with the proffered towel, and moved to his wife’s side to greet his new son.