Mirror Image

Mirror Image 2

&nbso:p>o:p>

 

Severus Snape had always taken great care to avoid mirrors. There weren’t many mirrors inside his house and absolutely none in the attic where he spent most of his time while his parents fought. Neither of his parents seemed to care about Severus’ aversion to mirrors as they had their own issues to attend to. For the most part, Severus was left alone to his thoughts.



He had looked into a mirror once after a small party his parents held. He was about to leave to his first year at Hogwarts and several of his relatives had come by to wish him luck. He wished he could have told his parents not to bother since he hated gatherings, especially when the focus was on him. But he lacked the courage and knew what their answer would be anyway.



A formal set of robes had been laid out on the bed for him. Severus had showered quickly and had gone to the vanity to brush out his hair. Normally, he grabbed the brush and combed out the tangles while making his way back to the room. Today, he watched himself in the mirror.



The glass didn’t mock him nor did it talk. Severus was glad of this but, at the same time, wished the damn thing would say something if only to distract him from studying his reflection. He took in his hair first; dark and clingy. Still wet, his hair clung to his scalp in clumps, soaked bangs sticking to his forehead. His face was pale, despite the heat from his shower. No, not pale. Sallow. As though he was suffering from a case of jaundice.



He had read about jaundice once in one of his many tomes. He enjoyed reading about diseases and their effects on the human population. Black fever was one of his favorites. However, he had never thought that one of those diseases could strike him down. Jaundice seemed unlikely, he finally decided, and he tried to dismiss the thought.



A thin neck separated his head from his body. Severus didn’t like his neck. He thought it would belong better to an ostrich. His eyes narrowed at the mirror and he took note of their colour. They were so very black and so very deep that he was reminded of twin black holes set inside an empty skull.



His nose was too long and poked out of his face. His father had told him that he’d grow into his nose. Severus hated that expression. One grew into robes, not noses. Noses should be the perfect size when one is born and should grow with the person.



Thin lips were curled into a scowl. They looked as pale as the rest of his face and Severus found himself taking his bottom lip into his mouth and biting it to bring some colour into it.



His arms were too thin, too long. Perhaps he would grow into them as well. The hand holding his hairbrush had paused during his inspection. He moved the appendage now, bringing it over and over his hair, brushing quickly. His fingers were wrapped around the handle so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. His fingers were too long and bony. Sometimes he cracked his knuckles to hear the bones snap. He knew he shouldn’t do such things, but in the silence of the attics and with the only sound being his breathing, sometimes he wondered if he had gone deaf. The cracking of his knuckles relieved those worries.



His nails were chipped and dirtied. He still had a habit of biting them when he was nervous. They were uneven but this seemed small compared to the flaws of the rest of his body.



His chest was flat, save for two dark nipples. If he breathed in, he could see his ribs. Breathing out, he could still make out a few outlines of bottom few ribs. He was reminded of his hip bone that jutted out as well.



“I am ugly.” The words were spoken softly and Severus couldn’t help but notice his uneven teeth as he had opened his mouth. To him, this was just the icing on the proverbial cake and throwing the brush down, he made his way back into his room where he hastily flung his clothes onto his body.



He huddled on his bed, not wanting to read, until his mother called him down to the party. The entire affair was monotonous to him and he spent the evening speaking softly and answering questions with only one or two words. His mind kept replaying the image of what he looked like and he feared going to Hogwarts now. He feared seeing what other boys his own age looked like.



If they did not look like him, he knew that he would feel even uglier. But what if they should look like him? He’d have no choice but to be greeted every day with images of himself, a thousand mirrors of what he happened to be. He thought he should rather die than have to suffer through that fate.



He could not relay his fears to his parents as he was afraid he would be dismissed as immature or childish. He was afraid they would fight over him again, claiming that what one parent did was wrong and the like. He did not want to hear them fight. He did not want to deal with them at all.



Unsurprisingly, he was quiet throughout the trip to the train station. His mother did not kiss him goodbye. She told him to behave himself and that she’d owl him once a week and that she expected the same. He had nodded, already forgetting what she had said. Once boarding, he had found a small compartment and sat within there for the duration of the voyage.



The boat ride had been unpleasant and not at all quiet. A few other boys had decided to act up and attack another boat. This resulted in the tipping over of the second boat and the large man called Hagrid had to set things proper. Severus kept himself bunched up in his boat. He didn’t know the three other boys with him, but he did take a good look at their appearances.



They did not look like him at all. They resembled regular boys with perfect sized noses and hair that did not cling nor shine with grease. Not all of them were pale, some were tanned, some were black. All were different to Severus.



Instead of seeing hundreds of reflections of himself, Severus saw hundreds of reflections of what he wanted to be.



When the Sorting began, Severus kept his head down, wondering if he would end up in a House for and with ugly people. Or quiet people, even. He heard names being called up and watched each boy and girl go up to put on the hat. Each one seemed to be prettier than the other. When McGonagall got to the H’s, he couldn’t watch anymore.



When his name was called, he did not hear. He glanced up sharply as he heard snickering. McGonagall called his name again, a bit louder this time. Red-faced, Severus went up to the hat.



He had been sorted into Slytherin and, from the looks of things, it was the wrong House for ugly people. Whipping off the hat, he rushed over to the table, wanting to forget the stares of the others and the snickering of the kids.



“You might wanna wipe the hat down!” A dark haired boy called out from the Gryffindor table. “I think he got grease all over it!”



Severus blushed even further as sharp laughter sprung out from the red and gold table. McGonagall pressed her lips together. “That’s enough, Mr. Black.”



No points were deducted and the Sorting continued. Severus didn’t eat much that night.



Severus did not remember when he had first laid eyes upon Lucius Malfoy. He knew the other boy had been at the Sorting, had been Sorted that very night, but he could not recall seeing him. He found this very odd indeed since Lucius seemed to attract attention wherever he went, both with his appearance and with his personality. Though he soon learned that when Lucius did not care to be seen, he could slip unnoticed by anyone. Unless one was looking for him.



Severus saw him in the Common Room one night and he had spent a good few minutes standing in one place and staring at the other boy. During the months at Hogwarts, he had come into contact with all sorts of people. Some were nice, some were cruel. But all of them were more handsome than he was and he found himself either envying them or hating them for their looks.



Lucius, however, was perfection in Severus’ eyes. He didn’t have hair that clumped. His skin was pale, not sallow. His eyes were sharp and focused. Granted, they were a bit too close together but Severus knew why that had to be. Only predators had eyes close together as it helped them corner in on their prey. Lucius had to be a predator, Severus decided.



The other boy was lean but not as thin or gangly as Severus. In fact, Lucius was shorter than Severus but not by much and when he glared, the recipient of the glare felt as small as a worm. The boy’s nose was pointy and his cheekbones were very noticeable in his face. Severus wondered if that was a sign of beauty. His nose was hawkish while Lucius’ nose was roman.



Lucius’ fingernails were kept very clean and very well-manicured. That seemed like such a small thing but Severus couldn’t help but notice this as being such a difference from his own features. While Lucius was beautiful, he was not handsome. This was what Severus wanted for his own. A form of beauty that contradicted his own ugliness. Perhaps Lucius had some sort of secret to his looks.



Severus took to Lucius instantly and, surprisingly enough, Lucius took to Severus quickly as well. The two were opposites in just about everything, including appearance. Lucius was the talker while Severus patiently listened. Severus was horrendous in Transfiguration while Lucius became bored with its simplicity. Severus was wonderful in Potions while Lucius complained about how the heat mussed his hair and that he could not chop to save his life.



Regardless, they still had their similarities which allowed them to work together efficiently. Severus was cunning but held little ambition save for his potions. Lucius was ambitious to the point of obsession but preferred manipulation to actual cunning. Utilizing their strengths, they were able to wreak revenge upon the Gryffindors whenever Potter and Black decided to hassle them.



With Lucius, Severus did not find himself gawked at as much. He knew he still looked the same, but he also knew that around Lucius, he did not look that ugly, merely different. He knew that if he chose to be around a handsome man, he would appear to be even uglier, so he had chosen one whose looks differed from those of everyone else’s. Together, they were striking, a mass of black and white.



It wasn’t until their fifth year that Severus found that there was something a bit wrong with his partner. Throughout their time together, Severus had come to adore the blond and while he wasn’t sure how Lucius felt about him, he still took note of the fact that Lucius seemed not to tire of his presence. This had to be worth something since the blond often could not stand the company of too many people and his responses were sometimes erratic and unpredictable.



Severus, however, always knew what was coming. At least, he thought he did.



He had just gotten out of the shower and had wrapped himself up in a towel. Lucius had exited before him for once and Severus figured that the other boy had gone back into their room. He took his time in drying himself, not heading into the adjoining room where the sinks and the mirrors resided. He normally walked quickly through that room when exiting the bathroom to avoid his reflection and when he brushed his teeth, he did so with his eyes downcast.



Putting on his shower shoes and robe, he picked up his bath supplies and went to the doorway to leave. What he saw stopped him cold.



Hastily, he ducked back into the shower room and leaned against the wall. He hadn’t been aware he had been holding his breath until he let it out softly. He shut his eyes tightly, listening for any footfalls coming his way. When he heard nothing, he allowed himself to relax.



He could not have seen what he thought he saw.



Lucius hadn’t left the bathroom. He had simply gone into the adjoining room and had, apparently, gotten up onto one of the counters. When Severus had peeked in, the blond’s hands were pressed to the glass and he was smiling in what looked to be some sort of trance.



Severus placed his toiletries down onto the floor. He dared not leave since that would mean having to go past Lucius and he didn’t think Lucius would like Severus seeing him. Kneeling down onto the warm tiles, Severus poked his head around the doorway to watch the blond and try to figure out what the hell Lucius was doing.



Lucius was kneeling upon the counter still, not having moved a muscle since Severus had last seen him. He was clad only in his black, terry cloth bathrobe. His own toiletries were left upon the floor. His hair was brushed and kept over his shoulders as he looked upon his reflection with a look that Severus longed to see directed at himself.



“I love you.”



The words were so quiet; Severus had to strain to hear them. When he heard them, however, he couldn’t make any sense of them. Was Lucius so narcissistic that he truly loved his reflection? Was he pretending to speak to someone else? Was he practicing in a mirror?



All of Severus’ doubts came crashing down when he saw Lucius lean close to his reflection. A red tongue came out and touched the glass where Lucius’ own mouth was reflected. A trail of saliva followed the tongue’s path, obscuring a bit of the mirror. A slight fog also followed due to the heat of Lucius’ mouth.



Severus felt sick. He wasn’t sure what he could do, but nor could he leave, though he wanted to do so. He couldn’t just go. He couldn’t look Lucius in the eyes and tell him that he saw nothing. He couldn’t even rush right out since then Lucius would know that he saw and he would… What would he do? The answer stared Severus right in the face and he knew that despite Lucius’ odd habits, he could not leave the blond’s side. Nor could he stand it if Lucius left him alone against the Gryffindors.



“You’re so beautiful.”



Those words, spoken in Lucius’ softly drawling tone, made Severus want to moan. Not out of arousal, but out of frustration. How long had he wanted to hear those words for himself? To hear such a compliment pour out of Lucius’ lips, knowing that it was directed right back at Lucius made Severus feel as though the words were wasted. Lucius knew how he looked, else he wouldn’t be in love.



Was he in love? How could one be in love with oneself? And was there still room in that twisted relationship for him? Questions that had no answers sprang into Severus’ mind and he wondered if these were questions that should never have existed in the first place.



Despite the perversity of the situation, Severus still found it impossible to tear his eyes away from the display in front of him.



Lucius slowly and carefully removed his robe, letting it fall to the ground. He was naked underneath, the heels of his feet resting upon his arsecheeks, his back straight, his forehead resting upon the mirror.



In spite of himself, Severus enjoyed the view. He had rarely seen Lucius naked before. The blond had a layer of modesty that only allowed his companion a few seconds glance at nude perfection.



Lucius rose up onto his knees and Severus was able to take in all of his companion. The boy’s chest was flat but there were no signs of his ribs, not even when he breathed in deeply. His hips did not jut out. His waist was as lean as the rest of his body. His legs seemed powerful and were not stretched tight with tension.



Severus watched as Lucius’ hands caressed himself, touching down his chest, fingertips brushing his nipples. The blond’s head tilted back as his hands traveled lower, going past thin golden curls of pubis and down to his arousal. He was only half-hard, Severus noticed, but still big. Severus found himself twitching in approval and he immediately felt ashamed of himself. This wasn’t his moment. This was perverted and sick and he should not be enjoying it so.



Lucius should be undressing for him! Not for a mirror. Lucius should be speaking softly to himself, not to his own reflection. And yet, from this strange scenario, Severus knew, he bloody well knew, that Lucius had no one for himself. No boy nor girl would do for him since he already had this lover.



If Severus could understand that lover, if he could comprehend the twisted relationship well enough, then perhaps he would be accepted. While Lucius would probably view it as a threesome, Severus had no qualms about allowing Lucius to masturbate in front of himself or a mirror. Masturbation was normal. Much more normal than whatever Lucius was doing to that mirror.



With this idea in mind, Severus started watching Lucius in earnest now and he found his revulsion dwindling and his fascination start to arise.



Lucius, unaware of Severus’ eyes upon him, gripped ahold of his erection, and began stroking himself to full hardness. Soft moans escaped him and his free hand touched the glass, trying to cling to it.



“Yes. Touch me there. Touch me harder. My love, my love.”



Severus’ eyes did not leave that pale hand upon Lucius’ cock. He found himself entranced by the movements, by the constant stroking. He could easily imagine that hand being his own and he would lightly trace each little bump, ridge, and vein on Lucius’ groin. He would take his time in doing so, wanting to memorize every bit that was Lucius. Deep down, the words that Lucius was speaking sounded too familiar for the mirror to have been a short time lover.



Severus idly wondered how long this love affair had gone on for but he hadn’t time for answers. Lucius was moving yet again and Severus bit down on his lip to avoid letting out a moan of his own as Lucius pressed his arousal up against the glass.



“Want to feel you on me. Want to feel you inside of me.”



The blond pushed himself up and down the glass, smudging quite a bit with the precum leaking out of his erection. Severus could only wonder just how much pleasure Lucius was getting out of humping a mirror. He watched that red tongue lick at the glass, saw Lucius rub his cheek against it, as though trying to nuzzle the reflective surface.



He could not help feeling sorry for Lucius since the mirror could not embrace him nor lick him back. He knew that he would do so if he was the one holding Lucius. Even if Lucius wanted to rub himself against the mirror, Severus could easily take his position behind the blond. He could touch him then and take the other boy from behind.



Lucius, as though reading Severus’ mind, licked a finger and, kneeling down just a bit, managed to insert the slender digit into his arse. His body jerked a bit as it entered and he let out a hiss followed by a groan.



“Yes. There. There!”



Severus’ eyes widened as his hand slipped under his towel. He watched Lucius’ finger thrust itself in and out of the blond and he mimicked the movements by thrusting into his own hand. His teeth clenched together to avoid him saying anything and giving away his position.



Lucius moaned and writhed against the mirror. His cock continued to rub harshly against the glass and Severus knew Lucius was purposely putting enough pressure upon himself, what with the unyielding glass. Perhaps that way, it felt as though a hand was actually squeezing him.



Severus felt his nails dig into himself when he heard Lucius cry out in bliss. White ejaculate covered the mirror and Lucius’ upper body and Severus had to repress the urge to go over to Lucius when the boy slumped down, panting. Severus could not take his eyes off of Lucius’ face, now coloured red by the heat and the passion that had been so intense to him but still eluded Severus.



Severus held his breath as Lucius recovered. Now that his friend had climaxed, Severus hadn’t a clue as to what the boy would do. Lucius’ wand was summoned up from the pocket of his robe and a cleaning spell took off the ejaculate from the mirror and his body. Lucius tapped the wand tip lightly on the mirror.



“You were wonderful.”



Such fond words spoken with such a tone of reverence that Severus felt jealous. These were the words of an avid worshipper, not just a lover.



For the first time, Severus doubted his idea. How could he compete with something that had so ensnared Lucius? How could he compete with Lucius? After all, that was what everything came down to. Lucius loved Lucius and Severus? Where did he fit in? Was it possible for him to fit in at all?



He needed to know more. He needed to understand the power that held Lucius in its grip. He needed to see what Lucius saw, but how could he? The mirror only reflects what is shown to it and while Severus knew that he’d still love Lucius if Lucius was his reflection, he also knew that, that wasn’t possible. He would see his own reflection, nothing more, and he hated his reflection.



“I’ll come back soon.”



Heated words filled with promises and Severus watched as Lucius delivered a kiss to the glass before the blond got down off the counter. Lucius’ robe was placed over his body, hiding his nakedness from both the mirror and Severus. Lucius’ toiletries were picked back up and soon Severus was left alone in the bathroom with his silence and contemplation.



In order to better understand what Lucius was going through, he would have to put himself where Lucius was before. He would have to experience it all for himself. At least he managed to watch his friend before him, else he wouldn’t have a clue as to what to do or where to start.



He started by warding the bathroom door and making sure it was well and truly locked.



The mirror didn’t speak to him. Severus figured that it was in too much shock after Lucius’ performance. All the same, he was grateful for the silence. Slowly, he let his robe move off his shoulders, dropping it to the floor as Lucius had done. Placing his palms flat upon the cool surface, he tried to see what Lucius had seen.



He lacked the love for himself that Lucius had and he guessed that would make all the difference. Still, he had promised himself that he would give this a go and he wouldn’t back down from anything.



He was still aroused due to watching Lucius’ performance and he pressed his arousal against the mirror. Not surprisingly, the glass was still warm from Lucius and Severus’ lips found his partner’s mark from that very last kiss. He thought he tasted Lucius.



Feeling slightly ridiculous, he started to rub himself against the glass. Aside from the pleasurable feelings this brought to his groin, he didn’t see why he should continue. Nor could he see himself climaxing anytime soon.



“I am ugly.”



He recalled Lucius’ passionate words and was shocked to hear that phrase come out of him. Or was it him? The mirror smiled back at him, showing his reflection.



This was strange. He had thought he was scowling in confusion, not looking so smug.



“You are ugly. I’m not.”



Were those his words or his reflection’s? What a stupid question! Of course they had to be his words! Mirrors talked. Reflections merely reflected. The mirror must have come alive.



Then why was his reflection waving at him? Was that his own arm? He wasn’t moving at all!



Was that his own reflection reaching down, down, past the curled black hair at his abdomen, to his straining cock? Was he touching himself? A glance down below showed him nothing out of the ordinary. There was no hand pumping him, there was no nails digging into his shaft, his foreskin wasn’t being pushed upwards.



His reflection laughed and it sounded quite mad.



“You want him, don’t you?”



Severus thought he had gone insane. He should not have tried this. He should not have watched Lucius.



“Yes.” His reply was quiet, almost timid.



His reflection’s hand tightened around his cock, causing him to gasp. At this point, Severus didn’t care just what was happening. He thrusted up into that invisible hand, feeling his own chipped nails cutting into himself, and driving him on further.



He shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to see himself in the mirror, not wanting to know his ugliness, not wanting to see what he was doing. The mirror seemed to press back against his groin, causing his back to arch and him to let out a low moan.



“You can’t have him.”



This sudden disregard of Severus made his eyes flash open in anger. He was greeted with the sight of the bathroom in the mirror but could not see his reflection.



He blinked and felt hands on his back. His reflection was behind him, caressing his shoulders, trailing fingers down his spine, and making him feel insane and confused.



“You’re too ugly.”



Nevertheless, Severus’ reflection didn’t seem to mind his own ugliness. Severus found himself pushed forwards, his forehead resting against the mirror, his hands bracing himself upon the counter. “Don’t!” Was all he could say.



His reflection ignored him and licked a finger before thrusting it inside Severus’ tight arse. He felt his body shudder at the sudden invasion as his inner muscles clenched up around that finger. There was slight pain at the nail cutting into him, but then that finger moved upwards towards his spine and towards his prostate and all Severus knew then was blinding pleasure.



“I am ugly. Say it.”



That was a sure command and Severus defiantly kept his mouth shut tight.



“Say it.” Another finger was inserted into him and he moaned but did not say the words.



“Say it.” His prostate was being brushed against with every thrust of the fingers. A third digit was added and still, he stayed quiet.



“Say it!”



He cried out in pleasure as those fingers rammed themselves into him, his reflection’s mouth upon his shoulder, biting deep into the skin.



“I am ugly.” There. He had said it. He needed to climax. He could feel it build up within him and not even those words could deter his desire.



“Say it again!” His reflection’s free hand went around Severus’ wait to take his erection into hand. Each thrust of the three fingers was accompanied by a hard stroke to his groin.



“I am ugly!”



“Again!”



“I am ugly!”



“Again!”



“I AM UGLY!” Severus climaxed with a harsh sob. He could hear his reflection laughing as his body shuddered and then relaxed. His mind sank down deep into oblivion for a few seconds as the rush of his orgasm died down.



He found himself slumped onto the counter, his breath coming in short gasps and his body shivering despite the heat of the room.



He was ugly. He knew this. He had to acknowledge this every day. Was this all the mirror had to show him? Was this what it showed Lucius? Was this the reason why Lucius came back to it? He had spoken to the mirror as though it were a long time lover. So then he must keep coming back. But why did he? Why bother if all he would be greeted with was his own flaws?



Severus slowly sat up and looked into the mirror, seeing his reflection staring back at him. He moved his hand and the reflection did the same.



Things were back to normal.



He did not question what had happened. He did not dare wonder just which side of the looking glass he had been on, either when he first came up onto the counter or when he was being fucked.



His hand caught his eye and he looked down to see that his own fingers were bloody. He must have been digging into himself harshly. But it was needed in order to make him see the truth, to see what Lucius had been seeing.



He found himself still blind. Cleaning spells followed and Severus quickly threw his robe and towel back onto himself.



Perhaps he would ask Lucius about this. Then again, perhaps he wouldn’t. This was too personal and he did not want to tell Lucius what the mirror made him say.



He could recall ancient stories of demons that lived in the mirrors and enticed people on the outside into coming into their world. People would fall into their trap and disappear forever. Was that what was happening with Lucius now? Severus would need to watch over the blond more closely now. He would not lose his companion to another. Not even if that other was a damned mirror.



His reflection’s laughter followed him out of the bathroom.