Pandus

When you fall and die, hit the ground and die, do you feel hitting the ground and feel dying? Or do you die the nanosecond before you hit the ground, before every bone in you is crushed to pieces? Will you go to heaven and will you know whom you where on Earth – whom you were while being alive? Will people you knew know you when you get there? Will they?

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...Amanda…. Amanda…..”

Something was holding on to her shoulder, she could feel it – hands around her shoulders. Slowly opening her eyes she looked up, she was still alive, she was in a bed and Oliver was standing over her, he was the one holding her shoulders.

“What’s the matter with you? Why did you try and kill yourself? Don’t you care that we’ll miss you?”

Wow, wait a minute, he thought she tried to kill herself? But no, it was Snape – he did it. Opening her mouth to try and explain, not that words would come any easier now but she had to try.

“No, I-“

“Give her time Mr. Wood, she’s all confused. Let her catch her breath first.”

The voice. THAT voice. She froze, nothing worked now – not speaking, not breathing, not thinking. HIM. Oliver moved a bit and past his shoulder she saw him. How could he stand there and look so innocent, Amanda grabbed Oliver’s arm.

“Please…”

“Mandy, how could you? I mean – you scared the living hell out of me and if it hadn’t been for Harry you wouldn’t have been here now. He’s an excellent seeker and he just proved that again. He caught you before you hit the ground, he saved you.”

“But Ol-“

“Shyss, be quiet and get some sleep, we’ll talk about this when you’re feeling better. I’m going to write mum and dad and tell them about this, I have to. I never thought you would do a thing like this!”

And he was gone, out of the door in a hurry as always. Looking at her pale hands on the sheets she saw the shadow hit the white fabric, she looked up. HE was still there. Swallowing hard she moved backwards in the bed, until she was sitting up straight. He just looked at her, why? Those cold eyes, almost a grin on his face, this was all a game to him – making her seem like she was loosing it. And maybe she was.

“Poor Amanda Wood – couldn’t get enough attention? Needed to prove herself?”

She looked up at him, the sun in her eyes – she couldn’t right see him, only a dark figure standing there – like a dark dementor ready to give her the final kiss, to end her days. Walking closer, a small and relaxed walk, he wasn’t in a hurry, had all the time in the world. If she could just jump up and run away she would, hide and never be found and especially not by him, if she could… but no, fear locked her to the bed, placing a huge stone on her chest causing her trouble breathing and pinning her down. He sat down next to her and reached for her hands, no, never. She jerked back, almost falling out of the bed.

“Leave me alone you-“

The long and thin fingers wrapped themselves around her over arms, pulling her back and closer to him.

“Don’t say something you’d regret Miss Wood”

The cold hiss and the evil glare, just like potion class when he was talking to Potter, Granger or Weasley. Her face only inches from his, she couldn’t look at him, she didn’t wanted to so she pressed her eyes shut, tightly. Letting go with one hand she wished he would let go with the other one as well, leaving her right there with closed eyes and in her own world, a world where nothing could hurt her.

No, the grip was still there and suddenly she felt a finger, a thumb, above her eyebrow, softly running over her cold skin and upwards, up to her hairline to push a stray of hair out of her face. She wished he would leave her alone, why was he even there? She was no one, and she preferred it like that.

“Poor little Mandy!”

The mocking tone in his voice was so clear that she could almost hear the chuckle deep within him. Fear was not only his profession but also his hobby, scaring life and common sense out of the students.

“What do you want?”

She couldn’t believe she had asked that, it sounded like she was begging for her life… and maybe she was. Opening her eyes she looked at him, out of the corner of her eye she could see his hand cupping her cheek, she tried not to feel it but it was there, it was real and so was she.
The thumb ran over her cheekbone – slowly, almost gently. His cold eyes piercing hers, he was looking deep into her mind, into her most inner thoughts. Or so it seemed, it was like she could feel the fear of not turning in a paper in time, just by looking at him. He knew – he knew the truth and nothing souldould say or do would change that. He was in control and he knew it, he always was, he knew what to say, do, think, in short he knew everything.
The other hand left her upper arm and supported the back of her neck, keeping her close and in place, the hand left her cheek and brushed her hair back, placing some of it behind her ear, just like she always did. Parting her lips she wanted to say something, this gave her the creeps, this was not right and why was she blushing.

“…-”

Almost forgetting her question he spoke, softly and very close to her, so close that she could feel his breath against her lips.

“You!”

As he moved just that inch closer to properly kiss her she jerked back, out of his grip and off the bed. Landing on the floor with a thud he was over her in seconds, a hand around her throat and another over her mouth. His eyes were burning with anger, it was radiating from him.

“Stupid girl – be quiet. A word and I’ll make sure that no one will be around to save you next time!”

She nodded, there was nothing else she could do, he was pressing rather tightly around her throat and breathing was becoming difficult.

“Good – now be a good girl and go back to bed. I’ll make sure that a house elf brings you something to eat and remember – you still have detention!”

That he remembered? She looked up at him as he got up, straightened his robe and walked out. Out to the busy hallway, filled with students, people without a care in the world. She got up, her legs were shaking and she now noticed that she had hurt her elbow in the fall. Rubbing it firmly she got back into the bed, sitting and looking straight ahead she didn’t even hear him enter, green eyes and dark hair. He cleared his throat, causing her to jump, looking scared and startled.

“Ha-Harry?!”

More a question than a statement, the boy looked like he was forced to be there, a bit annoyed and a bit… what was that? Confused? Oh, properly the ‘Oliver’s sister-thing.’ The usual.

“Yea… I was just wondering… well – you you all right?

She nodded, he didn’t have to know anything. He had his own problems and well – she was just one of them at the time being. Looking at her hands, resting in her lap she didn’t dare to look up. She was so embarrassed; she had no idea…no idea about anything actually. It had all happened so rapidly. She looked up.

“Thank you!”

Yes! That’s the way to go Amanda – a hole sentence. And eye contact – improvement. He smiled back, yetualtually a genuine smile, nothing fake there, or so it seemed.

“It’s ok!”

He turned and headed for the door before facing her again.

“Anything you need?”

She shook her head, yes – there was but he couldn’t help her with it. He turned and walked out the door with a weak smile on his lips, why had he saved her anyway? Had he seen what had happened? She wished he had for a short moment, he would believe her and well, he wouldn’t think that she was crazy. Because she wasn’t crazy, not suicidal, not at all.
Now she was alone again, sitting in the bed, more people had cared about her today than all year, it was amazing. Still disturbed by the Potion Master’s actions she tried to hide under the blankets, trying to push the events away. Why was it he did this? A game? A hobby? Nothing made sense to her, if he was toying with her and well, trying to kill her…. She stopped and mentally slapped herself. Why would he try and kill her? It made no sense.


(A/N: because of threats I decided to add another chapter - lol - sorry for leaving it like that.... )