I\'m Shagging Who?

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Oh, for goodness sakes, Ron, virgin and
virginal do not mean style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>exactly the same thing."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"So you are a virgin," he said, relief in
his voice.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"I never said that."style='mso-tab-count:1'>

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"You're not a virgin?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"I never said that either," Hermione
huffed. "Honestly Ron, it's none of your business!"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Ron looked at her expectantly, but Hermione turned
back to the rather large fic she was reading and he slumped in his chair. He
wasn't getting any more of an answer than that, and he really didn't want to
think about what she could possible be reading.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>He sighed and reached out to an untouched pile on
his left. He picked up the top fic to find that it was relatively short. Apparently
PWP, whatever that meant. He continued to scan the disclaimer and author notes,
rather bored and wanting, instead, to get to the good stuff. He paused
momentarily at the pairing, trying to figure out what GWHG stood for. After a
moment he glared at his brother, but George was completely oblivious. He
continued for a moment longer before turning to the nearest person.
Unfortunately said person was Draco.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"What's femslash?" he asked.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'>"Back to the matter at hand.lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'> You know what slash is, what do you
think the fem is? What on earth could it possibly be short for when the listed
pairing is the Granger and the mini Weasel?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Mini Wea-" Ron
paled. "Ugh!" he protested a moment later. "Ginny
and Hermione? That's just wrong!"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Why?" Ginny asked, suddenly defensive.
"What's wrong with that?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"My, aren't we suddenly liberated after only
discovering slash a few minutes ago."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Ginny rolled her eyes. "I've always known what
slash was, Malfoy, I just didn't know the word. I simply didn't want the mental
images of the boy I crushed on as a child doing, well, nasty things to
you."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"What, you'd rather join in?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Ginny shrugged. "Wouldn't
say no. You're both hot, and a Ginny sandwich could be fun." She
heard the twins and Ron spluttering but chose to ignore them. "But back to
me and Hermione. What’s wrong with that?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Yes, Ron, what is wrong with that?"
Hermione asked, briskly, noting that Snape's head snapped up.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Ron looked squeamish and shifted in his chair. "I
mean it is better than Snape,"
he said, not daring to look at his Potions Master. He hadn’t been able to do
that for a while now. "But still, she's my sister and she's…well…"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'>"A woman?"lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgiaermiermione provided.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Yes!"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"You would be amazed at how much fun that is
to watch, Weasel."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"She's my sister, Malfoy!"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Draco smirked. "I'm glad she's not mine. I
hear redheads are real…fiery. Wouldn't mind a go sometime."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Unfortunately for Draco, he had forgotten that he
was sitting next to Ron and soon found himself in a rather painful headlock. Luckily
for Draco, he was still in possession of his wand and Ron seemed to have more
inclination to forget he was a wizard and resort to physical violence, and less
to remember to protect himself from hexes.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>As Ron hit the floor, Draco straightened out his
shirt, and flattened his hair, before leaning back and picking up, style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>Second Chances, which he continued to
read. "I am actually sickened by the fact that I had sex with Pansy."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Hello, I'm right here," the Slytherin
said with a glare.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"I'm not blink, Parkinson," he said with
a bland voice, "although, I clearly was in this fic. The kids are nice, if
nothing else."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Lavender frowned. "Are you kidding, Damien is
a little sh-"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Hey, watch your mouth! That's my…theoretical
son you'rlkinlking about," Draco said deivelively. "Sera may be the
smartest, but Damien is by far the coolest. I'd never have let him dictate my
love life, though."

style='font-family:Georgia'>

"Aren't you forgetting about Adrian?"
Lavender asked. "What about him." /p>

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"He's a Hufflepuff. What more can I say."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"I certainly hope you'd be nicer to our kids,
Draco," Harry said with mock severity.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Draco frowned. "In case you haven't noticed
Potter, and you really should have noticed, given what I've done with it-"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Spare my friends the details, Draco and get
to the point."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"My point is that one of us lacks the correct
anatomy for that one."

styfontfont-family:Georgia'>

style='font-family:Georgia'>Harry snorted. "Not according to all those class=SpellE>fics." He indicated a barely touched pile in the
corner. Draco frowned and he smirked. "class=SpellE>Mpreg." All the males in the room shuddered
collectively…apart from Neville, who was still crouched in the corner babbling
incoherently.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Where did this conversation begin
again?" George asked. "I'm rather more keen to get back my sister
being gay than the thought of giving birth."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"I never said I was gay, George," Ginny
said, looking up from her fic. "Although, style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>everyone in this fic is. Herm,
remember lending me Lord of the Rings?" The girl nodded and she smiled.
"You read the Veecreecret Diaries
yet?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Hermione snorted with laughter. "Oh,
yes."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Doesn't Gollum make you think of Filch a
little? Oh, and isn't Legolas just Draco in these ones?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Hermione burst out laughing. "Still
the prettiest!"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"What?" Draco asked, looking a little
confused. In fact there were few people who seemed to know what the girls were
talking about. "I know I'm the prettiest, but what are you talking about?&q

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"It's a Muggle thing, Draco," Ginny said
with a smile. "You wouldn't understand."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"I wouldn't want to." Draco rolled his
eyes. "Where did you get it anyway?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'>"Harry's bag."lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'>

style='font-family:Gia'>ia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Draco turned to Harry who shrugged. "So I'm a class=SpellE>pervy hobbit fancier! If you saw those films, you'd
agree." Draco remained silent, still looking at him. "Stop it." class=GramE>Silence. "Let's go back to talking about Ginny being
gay."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Ginny just said she isn't gay," Ron
ground out.

style='font-family:Georgia'>

style='font-family:Georgia'>"You're far too tense, Ron," Hermione
said, "loosen up a little." When Ron glared
at her she grunted in frustration. "Oh, for goodness
sakes." She leaned over the empty chair separating her from Ginny,
grabbed the girl and kissed her.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>No one moved.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>The Weasleys watched in abject horror while the
others watched in fascination. Snape even put down his latest obsession, style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>Veils of Illusion, to watch. Draco
noticed.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Hey, Uncle Severus, there's one to add to
your pile of Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione." He
indicated to the kidding girls. "You can do both of them."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Draco quickly found himself pounced on by more
Weasleys than he could count, and it was not until Harry finally cast a few
spells that he was finally released. Ron glared at him again as Draco
straightened his hair and sorted out his clothes, casting a few quick ironing
spells on his robes. He sent death glares at everything with red hair, except,
of course, the youngest Weasley, who was no longer in a Granger lip lock.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Where's Percy?" Ron asked, trying to
change the subject and refrain from punching the blond next to him.

style='ffamifamily:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"He's locked himself in that room,"
George said, aimlessly waving his hand in the direction of a small door to
Ron's right as he settled back to read, A
Night in Paris, noting that his twin was also reading a fic where he had
Hermione in the starring role. Something about the bookishness, he decided.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"What's he doing?" Ron asked, but George
ignored him and allowed his twin to answer.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Oh, he discovered the joy that is smut. He
hasn't come out of in over an hour, and judging by the noises-"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Fred!" Ginny cried, wrinkling her nose
in disgust. "That's almost as creepy as the Dumbledore/Umbridge/Harry
fic I just threw out."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"And there goes my lunch." Draco handed
Harry his wand. "Please. Obliviateclass=GramE> me. Now."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'>"Me first."lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'> Harry said before shaking his head and
turning back to his fic. He frowned and grunted. "Why is it," he
asked Draco, distracting the blond from his disturbing thoughts, "that
when we're together, I'm always completely gay, but you get to be bi?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Draco shrugged. "You're my bitch."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Given that you tend to be the girl most of
the time, I don't see how."

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"How am I the woman?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Ooh, don't touch my hair! I bruise easily!
I'm just a poor, mis-understood son of a Death Eater,
pity me! Oh, not the face! What did I say? Don't touch the hair! I'm - ouch,
Draco, that hurt!"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Goodot;

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Harry glared for a moment, but couldn't help the
smile that broke his face at the adorable pout on Draco's face.

style='font-family:Georgia'>>&nb> 

I am not pouting!

Yes, you are!

Wait a minute,lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'> Draco thought, you can hear me?

style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>Would
appear so.lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'>

Why?

style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>Fic
writer's prerogative?lang=EN-GB style='font-famGeorGeorgia'>

People write fic where we
can read each other's minds? Draco asked aghast.

style='font-family:Georgia'>>&nb> 

Haven't you read lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'>Gold Tinted Spectacles?style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'> Or style='font-style:normal'>Adamo class=SpellE>Redamo? I'm sure I gave them to you.

style='font-family:Georgia'>Draco frowned. I
started the Adamo one, but was disturbed by the
thought of reading Weasley's mind, so I stopped. Draco shuddered. style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>We were friends. He said, as if it were
a poisonous thought. I got worried.

style='font-family:Georgia'>Harry smiled and kissed him. It was us that got together, you know.

style='font-family:Georgia'>"I didn't think otherwise! The very thought of
me and the Weasel is disgusting!"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Harry laughed. Ron looked ill. Everyone else looked
confused.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Wait a minute," Draco said, "if the
telepathy is fic related…"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Harry's eyes widened and they both looked up,
suddenly realising that there was no ceiling. The roof just kept on going until
there was nothing put a point in the distance. "Are we in a fic now?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"Wait a minute," Ron asked, oblivious to
the dilemma that Harry and Draco were having. "Where's Hermione?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>"More to the point," George continued.
"Where are Hermione and Snape?"

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>* * *

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>TBC…?

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'>Seriously.lang=EN-GB style='font-family:Georgia'> Someone stop me. I'm just going to keep
on going. I borrowed Purple_Shoes' muse but he joined
my muses and they ganged up on me. *sigh* I promise to have something
substantial written soon. I'm in the process of rewriting chapter 3 of Every
Little Thing… so, hopefully not long.

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>For those that don't know. I'm offline this week
(except to update) so that I can try to get my homework done, and some fic
written…we'll see how that one goes! ;)

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>Fic Liststyle='mso-spacerun:yes'> - again, all fics
mentioned are fabby

style='font-family:Georgia'>href="http://www.schnoogle.com/authorLinks/kishijoten">Second Chances is by
kishijoten

style='font-family:Georgia'>href="http://www.lordandladysnape.com/viewstory.php?sid=433">Veils of Illusion
is by Rilla

style='font-family:Georgia'>href="http://www.restrictedsection.org/load/story.shtml?/6/anight.html">A Night
In Paris by purebloodgryffindor

style='font-family:Georgia'>href="ht/adu/adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/story.php?no=13514">Gold Tinted
Spectacles is by Beren

style='font-family:Georgia'>href="http://www.schnoogle.com/authorLinks/Jedi_Ginny/Adamo_Redamo'>class=SpellE>Adamo Redamo is by Jedi Ginny

style='font-family:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>And I know it's not Harry Potter, but the href="http://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd'>Very Secret Diaries are class=SpellE>definately worth being mentioned! They're by Cassandra
Claire. GO! READ!

style='font-fy:Gey:Georgia'> 

style='font-family:Georgia'>If you can think of a fic I can get something out
of to mention in the next part (if I write more!), rec
me! ;)