Searching My Soul

Searching My Soul by snapesgirl1981 Chapter 2 Early morning found Harry in the kitchen very much alone since Tonks had to leave after an urgent call from the Ministry and Lupin was still asleep leaving the boy to three hours of intense brooding. He had so far made the third pot of tea and had yet to see any living creature in the house. Kreacher was absent and anyway Harry didn't know if he was still around or if maybe the binding spell was lifted now that the last of the Blacks was dead. The thought alone made his insides cringe and he quickly downed the rest of his very strong black tea. It was no use thinking about his godfather and his terrible end anyhow- it wouldn't bring him back. And since last night's dream he felt almost ashamed to even feel grief because he felt as if he had tainted Sirius' memory which was in all likelihood nonsense since he wasn't to be held responsible for dreams he couldn't control. Right now in broad daylight he couldn't understand why the thought of his greasy tempered potions Master, a man who hated Harry with a vengeance and made his everyday life at Hogwarts hell, had aroused him that much but it was very likely only a matter of hormones. He was a sixteen year old boy and erotic dreams, wet dreams even, were a common thing according to Ron. Only none of the other Gryffindor boys had ever fantasized over Severus Snape, he figured, and for a short moment he contemplated trying to talk with Lupin about the whole thing. But then the huge senf emf embarrassment returned leaving him in the same kind of loneliness that had chased him from his warm comfortable bed early this morning. When he heard foot steps on the stairs he hoped that it was Lupin who had gotten up so that he could ask a couple of questions about the Order and of course whether Voldemort had been seen in the last weeks. The steps sounded grave, but with a certain sense of foreboding he couldn't quite understand until the large, black figure of Severus Snape filled the door frame looking down at Harry with the same kind of contempt as every time in the last five years. Without another word he turned away and gazed out of the window into the same backyard Harry had looked into last night after having climaxed in his dream. The boy blushed and poured himself another cup of tea trying to empty his brain of all indecent thoughts being only to acutely aware of Snape's skills in legilimency. It would completely ruin his summer holiday if the potions Master knew about Harry's dreams. No doubt he would either hex him into oblivion or use his gained knowledge to torment the boy further in the next two weeks. Harry closed his eyes attempting to ignore the presence of the sourly looking man and realized a foreign scent was lingering in the air. He inhaled deeply enjoying the fragrance of sandalwood, all kinds of spices and leather which all in a sudden seemed to lessen his grief, providing him with a feeling of being home for the first time in all his life. His heart began to speed up in his chest, the pulse hammering away in his ears and the temperature in the room seemed to rise a notch or two. Somewhere far away he heard steps getting closer to the table but he tried to keep the warm feeling inside too much to care. The scent intensified making his groin come alive and almost urging him to find the source of this pleasure to devour it. "What are you doing, Potter?" Snape's voice sounded silken almost caressing Harry's ears. It took another second until he realized that the scent that had enticed him was Snape's body scent which gave him an instant errection and he snapped his eyes open staring into the slytherin's penetrating eyes. For his life he couldn't avert his eyes from the intoxicating view of his pale, hard face that was mere inches from his own. The onyx eyes stared into green ones as if trying to see to the bottom of their soul and then were captured in the same kind of spell. For a short moment, probably not more than five seconds, they shared an alien sense of understanding and then Lupin's voice broke the enchantment making Snape take a hasty step back. "Ah, I see you are both awake already. Any chance of some tea?" Harry stared into Lupin's lined face not understanding one word and then before any of the two men could react he jumped up and stormed upstairs into his room trying to forget the promise in Snape's eyes. Four hours later Harry was still in his room, staring blindly into space in a vain attempt to ignore his cock that refused to behave in a decent and normal manner. The events in the kitchen had shaken him more than he wanted to admit and he was surprised to find that the sudden loss of that sense of understanding almost made him cry. He blinked heavily a couple of times but then gave up and let silent tears roll over his cheek still staring into the empty room. The tears didn't last long and he sighed knowing that they had solved absolu not nothing. He got up and stepped over to the window staring into the backyard again where he now saw a black-haired Tonks collecting laundry. He considered opening the window and making her look up but then decided against it. He wasn't really in the mood to talk with anybody about unimportant matters when all he wanted to do was run into Severuom aom and curl up into his bed- preferably into the man's warm arms. But why he was feeling this intense kind of longing for a man who despised the thought of him was beyond him. He had to stop thinking about it altogether or he would not be able to ban these thoughts in the next days. And he had to- or Snape would find out and curse him to death. Or worse…. He saw Tonks as she retreated into the house again and the now deserted backyard but a second later another figure emerged from the kitchen. Instantly Harry froze as he recognized his potions professor. Snape walked to the back side of the small courtyard and leaned against the several feet high stone wall there staring up into the sky. He had turned his head skywards and closed his eyes letting the gentle late summer breeze ruffle through his hair that was cascading down his back. His face was calm and for once all tension and sneering gone from his features leaving it remarkably transformed. Harry gasped softly and without even thinking about it his hand moved to his groin softly rubbing over his rapidly hardening cock. The thought that he was masturbating in his room being aroused from the peaceful look on his professor's face made him shudder but that was soon replaced with a feeling of heavenly bliss as he climaxed with a short groan and without realizing he uttered a moaning "Severus!". In this moment Snape opened his eyes and stared right into Harry's an amusmilsmile on his lips. Harry inhaled deeply and quickly stepped back trying to convince himself that it wasn't possible that the professor could have seen him, instantly closing his jeans and cleaning the stain of creamy semen from the window glass with a wave of his wand. His heart hammered in his chest making him almost dizzy. He sat down on his bed his head sinking to his knees and groaned- this time not with pleasure. This year was going to be pure horror! I hope some of you like this story. The chapters will stay short but I try to update more frequently. Please review.