I\'d Love You to Want Me

p>This is what happened next, when Harry and Sirius went home. Sorry about any formatting errors in the previous chapter, as well as this one. It\'s too complicated to explain, but I think I\'m on the right track to getting these things formatted correctly.

Harry stood before Sirius, as tears welled up into his eyes. He never imagined that Sirius would come tonight. He thought it would take him a few days to consider what he wanted. As Sirius spoke those words, the words Harry had been waiting to hear for over a year, his heart burst with joy. He wrapped his arms around Sirius\' neck, and kissed him tenderly on the mouth.

Remus entered the kitchen, and broke the silence. "It\'s about bloody time Paddy. Now, perhaps Harry will believe me when I say that you\'re one of the smartest men I know."

Sirius pulled apart from Harry, and glared at his friend. He knew that Remus was only trying to help, and as he nodded, Remus knew that he was forgiven for his intervening. "Well, I\ff tff to Hogwarts. I\'ve got to see a Potion\'s Master about… well, a potion I guess… That doesn\'t sound as clever as I thought it would. Good night all. Enjoy this time of happiness. You\'ve both been far
too miserable for far too long."

Remus apparated out of the kitchen, and an uncomfortable silence fell across the room. Neither one wanto bto be the first to speak. It was very ironic. The moment that they both had been waiting for to happen had arrived, yet neither was willing to make the first move. Finally, Sirius broke the ice.

"So Remus has my old records eh?" Sirius scolded himself for saying something so cheesy. Harry just nodded and led him into the foyer, and up to his sitting room. He had an old turntable in there, and the comfortable sofa by the fire looked inviting.

"They\'re all here. It seems that you and my father had rather interesting tastes in music."

Sirius stood before the turntable and ran his finger along the edge. For a moment, it was 1979 and he was back at Hogwarts. He could almost see James and Lily dancing in the dormitory, clueless that there were others around. They always were like that; lost in each other. Sirius shook his head to forget the memory, and turned to Harry. "I can\'t believe this old thing still works.
It\'s had more than it\'s fair share of abuse. We used to play it for hours on end. Every week we\'d go to Hogsmeade and get another record for weekend. Your mother and father used to dance for what seems like hours. Remus and I would watch them and hope that one day we\'d both be in love as much as they were. Remus took this when we left Hogwarts. Lily gave me hers after she found out I didn’t have one of my own."

Harry reached for Sirius\' hand, and led him over to the sofa. "I think your chance to be in love has finally come your way." Mentally, Sirius thought that Harry was far braver than he was. He sat down and propped his feet up on the table, then took the goblet Harry offered him. Sniffing it, he smelled warm brandy, and immediately relaxed. When had Harry developed a taste for liquor? He always kept to the milder ale and lager. Then, it hit him. He\'d been rather depressed lately. That explained it all. Sirius only drank hard liquor when he was depressed. Perhaps he and Harry had more in common than either of them knew.

Harry put on a record, and sat down near Sirius. They were close enough to feel each other\'s body heat, but not quite touching. They sat in silence, both sipping their brandy and lost in thought. Harry was wondering what he should do to move things along, and Sirius was wondering if he was messing up by not being more forward with Harry. Even though he had come to have Harry move back home, there were still things that needed to be said. Harry began to ask Sirius
what he wanted from him, and then quickly changed the subject.

"Can you believe Remus? He\'s been to Hogwarts every night this week. And, the full moon isn\'t for another fifteen days." Sirius knew that Remus and Severus had been growing closer, but hadn\'t realized that they were that close.

"I don\'t think he\'s going for the potion, if you know what I mean." Harry chuckled and said something that made Sirius laugh as well.

"Well, you know what they say… You can tell a lot about a man by the size of his cauldron."

"Or by the size of his nose." They found themselves laughing so hard that neither one realized they were huddled together, noses mere centimeters apart. Harry reached for Sirius\' head and pulled him closer.

“Your nose is rather average size, but I have a feeling that that saying doesn’t hold truth with all wizards.” He tipped his own head back and brought their lips together for the second time that night. Sirius\' mind began to swim, and his heart felt like it would beat out of his chest. Harry deepened the kiss and pressed his warm tongue into Sirius\' mouth. He felt helpless, and totally out of control. He\'d been waiting to kiss him, to feel him, to touch him for so long that his body automatically knew what to do.

Harry pulled Sirius down to him, and both men gasped when their erections rubbed against each other. Sirius was losing control as well, and pulled away from Harry. He wanted to make love to Harry, but he had to tell him what he felt before he did. Harry had to understand why he had hid away from him for so long.

"Harry, I can\'t." Sirius stood up and walked over to the fireplace. He placed one hand on the mantle, and brought the other up to his forehead, deep in thought.

"What\'s wrong Sirius? I thought by you telling me you wanted me to come back home and by you kissing me back that you wanted this, wanted me."

Harry looked up at Sirius, a pleading look in his eyes. His kiss swollen lips glistened in the firelight, and his hair was messier than usual.

"Harry, I do want you. I just need to tell you why I felt I couldn\'t be with you until now. You have a right to know why I’ve acted like an arse for the past year." Harry straightened his t-shirt and sat up on the sofa. "When your mother was pregnant with you, we learned that Voldemort was after your father, and after you. He didn\'t care what happened to your mother,
he just wanted to make sure the Potter line ended. You’re aware of the reasons behind this, his fear of no longer being the strongest wizard. Your bloodline can be traced farther back than anyone else’s can. I\'m sure you know that already."

Harry nodded, and motioned for Sirius to continue. "Well, when your
mother became pregnant, she and Jamie were ecstatic. They both had wanted a
child for so long, yet they were afraid what may happen to you. Now Harry, your
father was a very smart man. He knew that his downfall would come from the wand
of Voldemort. He knew that he wasn\'t going to live very long. He also knew that
if any of us could survive, it would be me. Right after you were born, your
mother, father, Albus, Remus and I held a ceremony bonding me to you as your
godfather. I think that that bond is what kept me sane all those years in
Azkaban; that bond and crossword puzzles." Sirius chuckled a bit, and took
another deep breath.

"Well, when I took on that honor, I gave my blood, in essence, a piece
of my magic to prove my loyalty to you. I swore then that if something were to
happen to James and Lils, I\'d never rest until I knew you were safe, and well
taken care of. Now, you know what happened when they died, and how I got blamed
for their death. Albus knew I couldn\'t have betrayed them. The bond between you
and me wouldn\'t allow that to happen. But, he had no body, no one to blame
their death on because of Peter. Albus is a powerful wizard, but even he
couldn’t turn a blind eye without another suspect. When we decided to become animagi, Peter he was against it and very afraid he\'d be expelled from school. That is the only damn thing I regret about becoming one. Peter escaped because we more or less forced him to become one."

"Sirius, you couldn\'t have known that he would betray you. You didn\'t know that he would turn on you."

"I should have though. It all makes sense now that I look back on it. There were warning signs, but I was too preoccupied with my own life that I didn\'t see them. We all ignored them, and essentially cost your parents their lives." Sirius turned his back towards Harry, and took another hefty swig from his goblet.

"Sirius, come here. Sit down." Harry scooted over to give him room, and poured them both another drink. "I don\'t blame you. No one blames you. They don\'t blame you. You have lived up our our word. Have I not been taken care of? Have I not been sheltered, fed, and taught to control my magic?"

Sirius nodded, and Harry continued. "So what I had a rotten childhood.
It was the only way that I could be protected. I am sure if there had been another way Albus would have thought of it. Remus couldn\'t take me because of laws, and Albus wanted me sheltered from this place for as long as possible. I am grateful to him for that. But at the same time, he knew I would grow up and that I would mature into the man that I am today. He knew that it would be my destiny to defeat Voldemort once and for all. I needed
nurturing, education and maturity to do those things. Yes, you spent many years in Azkaban for a crime you didn\'t commit. But think of this. What would have happened if you\'d not been in Azkaban? You would have probably wound up dead because of your supposed betrayal. By being sentenced to Azkaban, you were essentially kept safe; whether you realize it or not. You were protected as well."

"But Harry, I still feel a betrayal to your parents for loving you in the way I do. They didn\'t want me to fall in love with you. They didn\'t want me to want to make love to you. They just wanted me to love you and take care of you."

"Exactly Sirius, listen to yourself. They wanted you to love me and take care of me. They didn\'t put stipulations or limits on your love. They just wanted you to want me; in any shape or form. That is why we\'re here now. Unfortunately, we were not able to share the love a father and son do, and to be honest, I\'m very grateful for that. As I have said, Remus fills that role for me. But you, I want you to be my best friend, my lover, my mate."Harry gripped Sirius hand in his.

"Gods how I\'ve missed those hands." He brought them to his lips and kissed each fingertip delicately. "So gorgeous, Sirius; so beautiful."

"Bah, I\'m an old man. Aged far more than my forty-two years. I\'m hardly neither gorgeous nor beautiful."

"Yes you are." Harry straddled Sirius\' hips and dipped his head down to kiss his forehead. "I want to map every part of your body, every scar, every mark. I want to know you intimately.e the than I do now. I have to Sirius. You\'ve got to let me. I see things this way. They would be happy knowing you\'re in my life no matter what role you play."

"I suppose you\'re right. But Harry, can we just take it slow? I want to adjust to us before we deal with everyone else. This is ours, and no one can take it away from us, no one."

"Exactly. Now can we please finish talking, and please let me make love to you? Holding you and not making love to you is almost as bad as leaving a tray of Honeyduke\'s in front of a petrified Ron. It\'s torture." Sirius smiled at the reference to Ron. He\'d been dead nearly 3 years now and it seemed that Harry had finally grieved for the loss of his friend and could talk about him once again. He had matured a lot over the past year. There was so much Sirius wanted to ask him, so much to tell him. But right now, he had to make love to him. Harry\'s erection pressing against his stomach felt like a hot brand, marking his skin. He needed to be with him.

"Come on love… Let\'s go home. To our bed.&; Si; Sirius and Harry stood, and held hands as they apparated home, and into Sirius\' room. Instantly, Harry felt he\'d returned home. The room smelled of… well… of Sirius. His bed, the curtains, everything remained the same as it had been before he left.

"You haven\'t changed it much." Harry reached down to take off his shoes and thenceedceeded to remove his shirt and socks.

"To tell you the truth, I only come up here to dress. I hate coming up those steps and you not being here. I haven\'t touched anything in your rooms. Everything is as it was when you left." Sirius removed his own shoes and climbed into bed. Harry followed him, and they snuggled deep beneath the covers.

Harry took a deep breath and smelled the pillow. He got a lazy smile across his face and Sirius watched in amusement. "What\'s so funny Harry?"

"Nothing, I was right that\'s all."

"Right about what?"

"I always knew your bed would be comfortable and relaxing. And, I knew your pillows would smell of you." He turned towards Sirius and nibbled lightly on his earlobe. "And now, your bed will smell of me as well." Sirius couldn\'t reply. He couldn\'t even put together a sentence now. Harry was grinding his hips against him and had finishee ase assault on his earlobe. He was now softly kissing his neck and collarbone.

"Harry… My gods how I have longed for this." Sirilipplipped him over onto his back, and gently explored his bare chest with his tongue. He reached the zip on Harry\'s pants, and slowly undid it, then slid Harry\'s pants and boxers down his legs, and off onto the floor. He pulled his own shirt off his head and flung it across the room. Harry was lying naked sprawled out in the middle of the bed. Sirius had never seen a more beautiful site in all his life. He was right about Harry being more fit and muscular since he\'d moved out. His chest had a light dusting of hair, and his skin was lightly tanned. His biceps were very large, as were his thighs. No doubt from steering the broomstick.

"Sirius, please don\'t make me wait. I\'ve been patient enough." Harry undid Sirius\' zip, and watched him shrug off his pants. He then fell down to Harry, and pulled the duvet around them. "Come on Sirius. No blankets, just you and me. I want to see you make love to me. I want to see me make love to you." Sirius threw the covers to the floor, and Harry smiled at his
little triumph.

"Think you\'re smart do you?" Sirius quirked and eyebrow and Harry\'s smile grew broader. "I\'ll let you have that one, but you\'ve got to top."

Sirius reached over to the cabinet and retrieved his wand. After summoning a tube from the medicine chest, he handed it to Harry. "Come on love, make yourself ready for me." Harry rolled to his side, and let Sirius fall onto his back. He then explored Sirius\' navel and waistline with his tongue. His kisses felt like hot trails of fire against Sirius\' skin. He reached for Sirius\' prick, and sloppily rubbed it between his lips. The heat was overwhelming.

Harry took the tube of lubricant and placed a generous dollop onto the palm of his hand. He then stroked Sirius slowly, yet firmly until he was begging Harry to stop.

"Please Harry, it\'s been far too long, and I want you so bad. Please, just let me have you." Sirius\' voice was nearly hoarse. He had one thing on his mind, and that was being fully sheathed in Harry\'s tight, hot heat. "Please love, now."

"You\'ve waited long enough I suppose." Harry turned with his back to Sirius, and then bent over on his knees. He used one elbow to prop himself up, and the other hand to spread the lubricant around his entrance. He slid one finger inside, and Sirius gasped at the sight. Harry was fingering himself in preparation for Sirius to make love to him. He could never be happier than he was right now. Nor could he be more aroused. Harry moaned as he pushed his finger in and out, and then carefully added another. He was thrusting his hips back as he was fingering himself, and moaning uncontrollably.

"Harry, stop please. Come here. I won\'t last an instant if you keep on doing that." Sirius had begun to stroke his own prick, and Harry watched as his emotions played across his face. His chest was heaving, and his breaths were uneven. He knew Sirius was close, as was he. He turned around and stood upon the bed, directly over Sirius.

"Now, hold it steady Siri." Sirius held his prick up in the air, and Harry slowly lowered himself upon it. "OH god Sirius." Harry pressed his hips down, and fully relaxed, letting Sirius deep within him. They found their own rhythm, both taking it slow as to prolong this ecstasy.

Harry leaned forward and kissed Sirius deeply as they moved together. Neither man wanted to speak. There were no words to convey the love that they were sharing: the desire they had to please each other. All too soon, Harry felt himself begin to come, and pressed his hands to Sirius\' sweaty chest. He leaned back as far as possible and held on as Sirius
thrust into him mercilessly.

"Oh Love…. This is …. So perfect… you\'re so perfect…" Sirius moaned in ecstasy as he came, and Harry swore he\'d never heard sweeter sounds ng fng from anyone in all his life. "That\'s it love… Oh that\'s it." Harry impaled himself one more time, and then collapsed onto Sirius\' chest. He wrapped his arms lovingly around him, and prayed that this wasn\'t a dream. That he wouldn\'t wake up if it were. He\'d never felt more satisfied and more complete in his entire life.

"Harry, I can\'t describe what I\'m feeling right now." Sirius\' breathing returned to normal as he held Harry close to him. He never wanted to let him go. If it were up to him, they\'d never leave this bed. He would be perfectly content with Harry lying on him for the rest of his days.

"I love you Siri. I\'ve always loved you and I always will." Harry leaned his head up once more and kissed him tenderly before he rolled off his lover. Harry glanced at the clock on the wall and smiled as he read it. Remus\' name pointed to Hogwarts, Sirius\' pointed to home, as did Harry\'s. Sirius noticed what he was staring at and snuggled up behind him. "How I have longed for it to read home." He wrapped his arms around him, and kissed his neck lightly.

"So have I Siri, so have I."

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Bella Ireland