Shag Me If I'm Wrong...

A few weeks into the semester, after each contestant had tried and failed to gain their crushes interest, the day found Ron up early. He checked in appearance in the mirror. \"How could she not want me?\" He chuckled as he headed off to breakfast.

Neville ran his fingers through his hair. Would she even notice him? They didn\'t have many classes together. He had embarrassed himself in the classes they did have together. He sighed. Hermione was wrong. He didn\'t have a chance.

Hermione pulled on her robes. She knew better. She didn\'t have any chance with her secret crush. Why even bother trying?

When she entered the Great Hall, the Gryffindors that were in on the bet were watching Ron. He gave them all a wink and stood. He straightened his robes and ran his fingers through his hair. With a wink towards Hermione and Neville, he started over to the Hufflepuff table to talk to Susan Bones.

Neville sighed. He didn\'t know that Ron had a crush on Susan as well. He shook his head. Now, he would never have a chance. He looked at his plate and pushed his breakfast around. Hermione put a hand on his shoulder. \"Don\'t worry about it Neville. Ron doesn\'t stand a chance.\"

They looked over at Ron and Susan. He was sitting, leaning back against the table, talking with her. She was nodding, but kept looking around the Hall. Ron reached up and brushed a lock of her hair off her shoulder. \"Tell me, do you eat the muggle cereal Lucky Charms?\" Susan frowned and s her her head, \"No. Why would you ask something like that?\" Ron grinned. \"I just ask because you look so magically delicious!\"

The echo of the slap sounded loudly through the Hall. Everyone got quite and looked to the table. Susan stood up and put her hands on her hips. \"Ronald Weasley, how dare you ask me a question like that? Don\'t ever speak to me again.\" She turned and walked out of the room.

Ron returned to the Gryffindor table, the red hand print very visible on his cheek. \"I don\'t know what I did wrong! That was my best line!\" Hermione and the rest of the tables just shook their heads as they went back to their breakfast.

Neville finished eating quickly and smiled at Hermione. She nodded and mouthed the words \"Good Luck.\" He nodded as he headed out of the Great Hall.

Hermione sighed. She knew she had to try to get her crush. Why not go for it? Where was her Gryffindor courage? She watched as he walked out of the great hall. She had faced down Death Eaters and stood beside Harry when he fought Voldemort. She could handle a pissed off Potion Master couldn\'t she?

She stood and quickly walked out after him. She caught him just as he was heading down the stairs. \"Professor Snape?\" He turned and looked at her, his eyebrow raised. She blushed slightly. \"Umm...shag me if I\'m wrong, but you have a small dick right?\"

She didn\'t think his eyebrow could get any higher. \"Detention Miss Granger. Eight o\'clock. Along with 100 points from Gryffindor.\" He turned and left in a flurry of robes.

Hermione sighed. \"Well, at least I tried.\"

Severus Snape stopped and leaned against the wall. What in the bloody hell was that? Shag her if she was wrong? A small dick? Of course, the thought of him having a small dick was ludicrous! It had grow by at least three sizes when she had asked him that. Gods, but he was hard. He had to take care of this...situation before his first class.