Albus, I\'ve Knocked Up a Weasley

Chapter Two: It\'s The End Of The World, As We Know It

\"Severus? Are you alright now, dear boy?\"

Professor Snape opened his eyes and discovered, with a groan, that it hadn\'t been a nightmare. He was still in Dumbledore\'s office, though thankfully without an audience. The others must have left shortly after he had been hoisted into one of the plush chairs in front of the headmaster\'s desk.

\"Is it my imagination,\" he began, dragging a hand over his face, \"or did I really hear what I thought I heard?\"

\"Did you really think anything different would happen?\" Albus asked as he perched on the edge of the desk. \"You know as well as I do that Molly Weasley is the maternal type.\"

Snape rolled his eyes at was obviously an understatement.

\"Here\'s the letter that she sent me. Perhaps it will help you to understand.\"

Severus took the letter he was being offered as if it would bite.

\'Dear Professor Dumbledore,

Despite the circumstances, Arthur and I couldn\'t be happier about the impending arrival of our first grandchild. I know this situation is hard on Ron; therefore I will be arriving as soon as possible to help him through this ordeal. At his young age, we do not expect him to raise the child (especially since it was hardly his fault, in the first place), so his father and I will take responsibility if Ron decides he is not ready to be a father. As for Professor Snape, I\'m afraid I don\'t have enough information to make a decision on his level of participation. I\'ll speak to him when I arrive.

Sincerely,
Molly Weasley\'

Severus balled up the letter and threw it back onto Dumbledore\'s desk, practically shaking with rage.

\"My level of participation! What exactly does that mean? It wasn\'t my fault that that insipid little brat had managed to piss off enough people to cause two of them to hex him! I was an innocent bystander!\"

Dumbledore managed to refrain from laughing. He had heard Severus Snape called many things in his life, but \'innocent bystander\' wasn\'t one of them.

\"I believe she was referring to your participation in the raising and support of the child, not your culpability in Ronald\'s pregnancy. That, we are in no doubt of. Perhaps, Severus, it would put the boy\'s parents\' minds at ease if you were to take a more affirmative action in light of this situation.\"

\"And what, exactly, did you have in mind?\"

\"You could do the honorable thing and make an honest man of him.\"

Severus didn\'t even ask if the old man was joking. Had he bothered to stop and look into his twinkling eyes, he would have known he was. Instead, the incensed potions professor leapt out of his chair and began to make his objections known very loudly and quite foully.

* * *

Ron \'t \'t really having it much better, though he did think that he should try and enjoy the attention he was getting, if he could get over the way Harry was behaving. Gryffindor\'s seeker had just settled the recently impregnated boy on the couch in front of the fire and propped his feet up on an ottoman.

\"Do you need anything, Ron?\" he asked, sitting close to his best friend, fluffing a pillow.

\"Yeah,\" Ron replied. \"Budge up a little, you\'re suffocating me.\"

Looking a bit bashful, Harry moved over, but not by much. Before Ron could ask him to scoot over just a little more, Hermione plopped herself down on the other side of Harry.

\"You know, Ron, now that you\'re going to have a baby, there are a lot of things we\'re going to have to consider,\" she said in a low voice, hoping no one would over hear.

\"Like what?\" Ron asked.

\"Well, you\'re going to start expanding in the middle soon. You\'re going to need new, bigger robes as well as trousers and jumpers.\"

They glanced over their shoulders as they heard footsteps on the stairs to boys\' dormitory. Neville came dashing down the stairs, obviously having forgotten some portion of his homework again as he was clutching parchment and one of his books. He never stopped long enough to notice the other people in the room; he just ran out the portrait hole, supposedly on his way to the library.

\"Well, you could always find out if Neville has his old things,\" Harry laughed. The other boy had still been short and a little round the year before, but a growth spurt over the summer had been kind to him.

\"That will work for a little while,\" Hermione giggled, \"but even Neville\'s old things won\'t be big enough once Ron gets to the last trimester. There\'s a good chance he\'s going to get huge.\"

Ron groaned a slumped further into the cushions Harry had piled behind him.

\"Then there\'s also our classmates,\" Hermione continued. \"When are you going to tell them?\"

\"Do I have to?\"

\"It is going to get obvious,\" Harry ag. \. \"We\'re going to have to tell them soon. I mean, we\'re going to have to explain why your mother\'s here.\"

\"Can\'t we come up with an excuse that doesn\'t have anything to do with me being pregnant?\"

Just then the flames in the fireplace flared green and with a small puff of soot, Mrs. Weasley burst out into the dormitory.

\"Ronnykins!\" she exclaimed, dropping her bags and holding her arms out. \"There\'s my baby boy and grandchild!\"

Several heads that had been bent over homework looked up in startled curiosity. Ron did his best to bury himself further into the cushions.

* * *

\"Ron, come on, you\'re going to miss breakfast.\"

\"I\'m not hungry.\"

Harry sighed and sat beside Ron\'s huddled form. He pulled the blanket back and began to rub circles on his friend\'s back.

\"You have to eat. If not for yourself, think about the baby.\"

Ron rolled over and glared at Harry.

\"You\'re getting stranger and stranger, you know that, mate?\"

Harry just grinned.

\"Come on, I\'ll go down with you.\"

Harry escorted Ron to the Great Hall where he promptly settled him onto a bench and began filling his plate. Ron raised his eyebrow at the copious amounts of eggs, toast and potatoes that were being piled on. It was topped off with a bowl of porridge that Harry began stirring honey into.

\"Honestly, Harry, I don\'t need to put on *that* much weight.\"

\"I see you two have decided to come to breakfast,\" Hermione hissed, sitting next to Ron.

\"Ok, what\'s *your* problem?\" Ron asked, beginning to get very annoyed with his friends.

\"Haven\'t you noticed anything odd?\"

\"You mean besides Harry?\"

Hermione just motioned to the room with a nod of her head. Ron looked up and noticed that every eye in the hall was on him as students whispered to their neighbors. The fact that the Great Hall had been relatively quiet hadn\'t really registered with either boy when they first entered.

\"What\'s that all about?\" Ron asked in a hushed voice.

\"This,\" Hermione said, plopping down a copy of the Daily Prophet.

On the front was a picture of Ron that his mother had taken that summer. He was standing in front of the Burrow, hair mussed, holding his broom in one hand while waving with the other. The headline read \'Hogwarts Student Involved in Bizarre Accident.\'

\'Ronald Weasley,\' the article read, \'student at Hogwarts and second youngest of seven children of parents Arthur and Molly Weasley was involved in an accident at the school a few days ago. A hex gone wrong resulted in the boy ingesting a potion that has resulted in him becoming pregnant by the potion\'s instructor, Professor Severus Snape.

\"Molly\'s thrilled,\" a neighbor says. \"She can\'t wait until her son has her grandchild, though she\'s not so sure about that potions professor being the father. Why on earth he was making a potion to make a man pregnant is beyond me, but I suppose it will be alright, so long as he does right by that boy.\"

\'No word has come from the school, yet, as to Mr. Weasley\'s condition or Professor\'s Snape\'s intentions. It is unknown at this time what actions headmaster Albus Dumbledore plans to take in regards to this unconventional relationship. This reporter will be keeping the readers up to date as the Miracle Boy progresses through his pregnancy.\'

The byline read Erma Boomstag.

\"This Erma woman makes it sound like he did it on purpose!\" Ron shouted, causing the entire hall to go completely quiet. \"Relationship!? There isn\'t one! Boy, Rita Skeeter musta\' mentored that one.\"

Ron tossed the paper in a huff, glancing up at the teacher\'s table. Being so late in the morning, no one was there.

\"Well, if you\'re done being so melodramatic, we need to get to class,\" Hermione said as she got up and gathered her bag.

\"Melodramatic,\" Ron groused. \"I bet if she found herself pregnant, she wouldn\'t be so calm.\"

\"It wouldn\'t be so odd if *she* turned up pregnant,\" Harry laughed.

\"I resent that!\" Hermione huffed, stalking away from them.

\"Oh, no, Hermione, I meant because you\'re a girl not that you\'re, ah…\"

\"Stuff it, Harry,\" Ron said, trying not to burst out laughing. \"You\'ve already put your foot in it far enough.\"

* * *

\"Professor Snape!\" Molly Weasley called as she spotted the edge of the man\'s cape swirl around the corner as he entered his classroom. \"I\'ve been looking for you.\"

\"I\'m sure you have, Mrs. Weasley,\" he grated out as he slammed a stack of books and parchments onto his desk. \"I\'ve been waiting for you to corner me, especially after I read today\'s Daily Prophet. I assure you, madam, that there never has, nor will there ever be, a relationship between myself and that son of yours. I take great exception at it being implied that I would have improper relations with a student. It was an accident!\"

\"I know,\" Molly assured him, having the grace to blush. \"Professor Dumbledore explained the accident in detail in the letter he sent. I\'m afraid that in my excitement about the baby and my hurry to leave, I must have left out some of the details when talking to my next door neighbor.\"

\"Some very *important* details, to be sure.\"

\"Yes, I am truly sorry. I didn\'t realize she would inform the Daily Prophet. I\'m sure it can be straightened out, though. In the mean time, I need to talk to you about what you intend to do about the baby.\"

\"Intend? To Do?\"

\"Yes. Are you going to want to have a hand in raising him or her? I realize with it being an accident, you might not want anything to do with the situation…\"

\"That is a very good assumption, Mrs. Weasley,\" Professor Snape sneered.

Molly sighed and gave him a scowl much more intimidating than any one of his own.

\"That\'s not a decision you should make so lightly, or so soon. Give it time; Ron\'s going to be pregnant for a good nine months. I imagine that by the time you see your child, you\'ll feel different.\"

Before Severus could reply, the first of his morning students began to trickle in.

\"We\'ll discuss this in more detail at a later date,\" he said in a more subdued voice, ushering her out of his classroom.

\"Of course,\" she agreed. \"I\'m staying in the Gryffindor Tower. Just let me know when you have a free moment.\"

\"Yes, yes, good day.\"

Once he got her out of the room he turned back to his class, all of whom had arrived and taken their seats. They were openly staring at him, something he wasn\'t used to from fourth years. Today, he decided, was going to be a very long day, indeed.

* * *

Fielding questions, and comments, all day had not been a whole lot of fun for Ron, but his friends stayed close. The next day, however, became much more interesting. Ron made it to breakfast before the mail arrived and found himself on the receiving end of several letters and packages when it did.

\"Baby booties,\" Harry said, tearing one open for him. \"That\'s nice. From some lady who read the article and refers to you as a poor dear.\"

\"Ooo, someone else has sent you a package of cotton carriage blankets,\" Hermione smiled, holding them up for Ron to see over Harry\'s head. \"Oh my.\"

\"What?\" Ron asked around a mouth full of eggs.

\"That\'s disgusting Ron, keep your mouth closed when you\'ve got food in it. It\'s this letter. Some lady named Tiana Yolanders is asking for your hand in marriage.\"

\"Let me see that,\" Ron said, making sure he swallowed his bacon. \"Not bad. Look Harry, she included a picture. Kinda pretty, really.\"

\"Hand it over,\" Harry scowled, looking over the picture and the letter carefully. \"Ron, the date on this picture is almost thirty years old. This woman is probably older than your mum.\"

\"Ew.\"

\"Who would send you this?\" Hermione asked, holding up a miniature rubber wand.

\"Hey, that\'s cute,\" Ron said, reaching out for it and the letter. \"Only one way to find out who sent it, silly.\"

\"There\'s no name,\" Hermione replied indignantly. \"It\'s just letters cut out from the Daily Prophet and pasted to spell out a message. Creepy, really.\"

\"It says, \'Heard you got a bun in the oven. Here\'s the kid\'s first toy.\' And she\'s right, no name. Oh well, it doesn\'t do anything, so I guess it\'s safe.\"

Suddenly, there was a loud snapping sound coming from the teacher\'s table and a startled cry. Harry, Hermione and Ron looked up to see Professor Snape fighting off an animated envelope with a butter knife that was doing its level best to bite him. With a short burst of laughter, Dumbledore touched it with his wand and turned it back to a harmless piece of paper. The other professors were going red in the face, trying to fight off their mirth. In a snit, Snape stalked out of the hall.

\"Guess he\'s not getting fan mail,\" Ron guffawed.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, there were morttertters, presents and marriage proposals for Ron, and what were obviously nasty letters (and a howler or two) for Severus. The later had decided to start taking his meals in his rooms. Molly had been close at hand constantly, driving Ron, and everyone else, crazy.

Snape wasn\'t getting what he considered was the proper respect from his students, but no amount of door slamming, robe swirling or scowling was helping. He finally gave up and was just concentrating on making his classes as miserable for the students as possible. He also made it his mission to avoid Molly Weasley; he really wasn\'t in the mood to have a conversation with her about the baby.

\"Shouldn\'t I be getting out of homework? You know? Due to my delicate condition and all?\" Ron complained as the trio settled down one Friday evening to start their weekend homework.

\"You\'re only in your first month and being pregnant doesn\'t affect your ability to do homework,\" Hermione scolded him.

\"No, but it obviously affects my ability to ride a broom. Madame Pomfrey said I wasn\'t to go near one until six weeks after I\'ve had the baby.\"

\"Well, it\'s dangerous,\" Harry said, placing his hand on Ron\'s arm. \"You\'ve got to take care of yourself.\"

\"Yeah, I know. I just don\'t see how all this potions homework isn\'t harmful to my health.\"

Shortly after they had settled down to work, Professor McGonagall walked into the common room and over to Ron.

\"Mr. Weasley, you\'re wanted in the entrance hall. Your mother is waiting for you.\"

\"Wonderful,\" Ron sighed, rolling his eyes. \"I was hoping to be saved from homework, but I guess I should have been more specific.\"

He got to his feet and followed his head of house out the portrait hole and down the hall to the entrance of the school. Just before they arrived, Molly was there and taking Ron\'s arm, escorting him the rest of the way.

\"What\'s going on, mum?\" he asked, just as they rounded the corner. A bright flash interrupted anything she was going to say and answered his question.

\"Ron Weasley! Lovely to meet you. I\'m Erma Boomstag, reporter for the Daily Prophet and the author of the upcoming /The New Magical Maladies and Mishaps/. Would you mind a brief interview and some pictures? I\'d love to chronicle your pregnancy and will need a new picture of you every month.\"

\"Um, sure, I suppose,\" he answered the over skinny, and over tall, witch with hair so red it had to come from a bottle.

\"Oh, good, Professor Snape! I was hoping I\'d be able to talk to you,\" the reporter exclaimed as a reluctant Severus was led into the entrance hall by Dumbledore.

\"Oh great,\" Ron heard him mutter as he came to stand beside them. The cameraman took another picture.

\"Now, Ron, why don\'t you tell our readers how you feel about your professor getting you pregnant.\"

\"I wish you wouldn\'t put it that way,\" Ran sighed, aware of Snape glowering beside him. \"It was an accident. Professor Snape is no more at fault here than I am.\"

In the first cooperative effort between a Weasley and a Snape, Ron and Severus once again repeated the antics that lead to Ron\'s unfortunate condition.

\"So, Professor Snape,\" Ms. Boomstag turned her attention to the professor once they were done, \"are you planning on standing by the mother of your child?\"

\"I\'m not sure I like being called a mother,\" Ron griped. \"I am still a male.\"

\"I have no intention,\" Snape answered, completely ignoring his student, \"of having any type of relationship what so ever with Mr. Weasley. His parents have agreed to take care of this child and I for one think that would be best for all concerned, including the child. Now, if this interview is over, I have papers to grade.\"

With that, he swirled out of the room, Dumbledore on his heels.

* * *

\"I\'m not sure that was the best thing to say to a reporter, Severus,\" Albus said to the younger wizard as he followed him down to the dungeons. \"There is no telling how they will villainize you in tomorrow\'s edition. It\'s an especially hasty comment, considering Mr. Weasley is just barely a month along. You may feel differently by the time the next eight months have gone by.\"

\"I assure you, Headmaster, I will not. I do not care what picture the Daily Prophet paints of me; I have never cared what anyone thinks of me. I just want this over and done with and that insane family to leave me alone.\"

\"I know you better than that. Being seen as someone who would shirk your responsibilities will not sit well with you.\"

At this, Severus stopped his forward momentum and whirled around to face the headmaster.

\"How exactly is this my responsibility? My blood mixing with a potion that was reversed isn\'t my fault; it\'s an accident! Using that logic, Mr.\'s Crabbe and Goyle should be the ones held responsible. Why should my life be turned upside down?\"

\"I know this, and you know this,\" Albus replied, grasping him by his shoulders. \"Even Ron and his family know this. The rest of the world, however, does not. Nor, I\'m afraid, will that small life the boy is carrying.\"

Severus\' shoulders slumped and he put a hand up to his forehead.

\"I\'m not saying that I won\'t help support the child, in the financial sense. I have more than I need and I\'m aware that the Weasley\'s scrape by at best. But I can not, nor will I be a father.\"

Albus patted him on the shoulder and then released him.

\"We shall see, my boy, we shall see.\"

\"Albus, you are a frustrating old man!\"

\"Yes, I am, aren\'t I?\" he shot over his shoulder as he departed.

* * *

\"Are you sure it was an accident?\" Seamus Finnegan asked Ron as they all settled into the common room.

\"Of course it was!\" he replied, a look of horror crossing his face.

\"I don’t know, Ron,\" he continued, looking a little too thoughtful. \"You do tend to go on about how much you hate him a little too much, like you\'re trying too hard to convince everyone of it. And he does flounce.\"

\"Flounce?\" Ron asked, his face turning bright red as anger quickly boiled to the surface.

\"Yeah, that thing he does with his robes when he leaves a room. That thing that used to scare the crap out of us when we were younger. Very dramatic and… flouncey.\"

\"I don\'t care if he walks around in a pink tutu!\" Ron shouted, finally losing it. \"That greasy git did not get me pregnant on purpose! Question his sexuality all you want, I like girls!\"

\"Ron, calm down,\" Harry said in a panic, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him towards a chair while glaring at the other occupants in the room. \"Getting him upset is bad for him and the baby. I know you\'re just teasing,\" the look on his face dared them to disagree with that assessment, \"but you\'re not helping.\"

\"What on earth is going on?\" Molly asked as she came in through the portrait hole followed by Professor McGonagall. \"Ron, are you alright?\"

\"Yeah, mum, Seamus is just being a jerk,\" he said, allowing Harry to stack pillows behind him and prop his feet up; it was easier than trying to fight him.

\"Well, you shouldn\'t be getting upset in your condition,\" she said to Ron, but glared at Seamus who sulked away. \"At any rate, there\'s some good news. Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall and I have been discussing how to keep me busy while I\'m here.\"

\"So, tomorrow,\" McGonagall continued, looking rather pleased, \"you\'ll all be starting a new class: Home Economics with Mrs. Weasley.\"

TBC

A/N: Our heart felt thanks to Shiv, SailorPoison, Pinky, ran, Mary Snape and Raven for being our first reviewers! Your words of encouragement have made all the difference between this chapter coming out today or this next weekend, which is what was planned LOL. And thanks to everyone who has read this!

Just for everyone\'s information, the story is plotted out and there will be a total of 10 chapters and an epilogue, which will probably be attached to chapter 10 in the same manner that the prologue was attached to chapter 1. Bye!