She Said What?

they never were mine. they never will be. well..... except maybe in the deepest, darkest fantasies i can conjure up. but that\'s off the topic. what is relevant..... the characters are the property of j.k. rowling. i am merely borrowing them, to shove them into my twisted little plots and make them do as i will. because i\'m evil, people. horns and all, you know! evil! oh, sorry. ranting, i was. i am not getting paid for this, unless you count the reviews. other than that.... nothing.

i\'m not entirely certain when it will happen, but there will be smut involved in this story. so be on the look out. i suggest some popcorn, a very cold drink with loads of ice, and a fan or man or something to cool you off when you find it. i\'ve been told i do smut rather well. i believe \'hot\' was the word used. ~shrugs~ i guess we\'ll wait and see, won\'t we?

and, as always, comments and nice criticism is welcome and appreciated. no flames, or i will use them to roast your ass. and you know, i just can\'t deny the dragon anything anymore. he\'s so bloody cute when he pouts.

one final note.... thank you for your patience. i know it\'s been a while since i updated, but with the hols and the blahs, i haven\'t found much interest in writing. but i\'m back in the saddle again, so hopefully, i\'ll be putting up some more here in the near future! ~hugs~ and thanks for understanding.

Chapter Two: Arrogant Slytherin, Bloody Gryffindor
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Hermione was startled out of her stupor by the faint chuckle. It was pitched low, and darkly sensual. Her eyes went wide when she realized that it had come from Severus Snape. The snarky Potions Master. Head of Slytherin House. Greasy git. Hated bastard. Her husband. Then those same brown orbs narrowed, and she scowled. She could still feel the pulsing desire that his kiss had stirred within her. A single kiss, and she was ready to have him crawl on top of her and use her as he would. Like a stallion rutting with a mare in heat. That image did nothing to cool her passions.

Her lips tightened with her anger and she managed to just barely keep herself from kneeing him in the groin. It would serve him right. The annoyingly arrogant git was probably already picturing just what he could do to her, now that they were married. He was probably watching a veritable feast of illicit images race through his disgusting brain. Each of them containing a rather foul act he would like to commit with her. Upon her. She held back the snort that brought to her lips. She\'d be damned if she let him touch her in any way again. That singular kiss had been far more than she ever wanted to know about the slimy shite.

It appeared that she had slipped again, as she was startled once more when his long fingers closed over her wrist, lifting her hand up. She felt the rough skin brush hers briefly as he dropped something into her palm. It was cold and slightly heavy. She looked down and frowned, staring at the ring as if she didn\'t know what it was. Or as if it would jump up and bite her. The ring was a band of some shiny material. She wasn\'t sure, but she thought it might be platinum. A costly ring, to be certain. Sunk into the plain band were three stones.

On one side was a brilliant green stone that sparkled in the dim candle light. The other side held a black stone with a smooth top that reflected nothing. The center stone was white. It caught the light with flashes of fire that were breathtaking to behold. Hermione had the feeling that they were genuine stones. She doubted Snape would ever condescend to owning a fake. So the ring she held, while already being of great value due to the metal it was most likely crafted from, had doubled because it held a genuine diamond and emerald. Even the onyx stone was one that was at times hard to come by. She glanced up at him, the silent question in her eyes.

\'So that you will always know who you belong to now,\' he told her. His tone was bland, as if he found the entire converstation to be utterly boring. She couldn\'t hold back the scowl his words brought to life. With a careless movement, Hermione dropped the ring into a pocket on her dress. He smirked at her small show of defiance, then turned and swirled toward the door. Snape stopped with his hand on the knob, then turned to look at her over his shoulder. \'Good night, Miss Granger,\' he bid her, stressing her family name.

\'Good night, Professor,\' she snapped back, watching with satisfaction as he stepped from the room. Turning from the doorway, she was embarrassed to find that Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, Sprout, and Flitwick were staring at her. So was the official from the Ministry. She felt the blush stain her cheeks. \' I think I\'ll be returning to my room now.\' Hermione picked up her school robes and rushed from Dumbledore\'s office.

She got lost in her thougths, trusting her feet to find their way back to the Tower. Being the Head Girl had it\'s advantages. She had a room to herself now, instead of sharing a dorm with the others. She still had to pass through Gryffindor Tower proper to get to it. But she did have her privacy. Without realizing she\'d arrived, she muttered the password to the fat lady and waited for the portrait to swing open. She was so lost in thought, she didn\'t notice the eyes that turned her direction as she entered the Common Room.

\' `Mione?\' Her name halted her progress. She looked up to find several pairs of curious eyes peering at her as if she were pheasant under glass. None of them missed the way she was dressed, or the fact that her school robes were hanging off one arm limply. Her gaze met that of Ron Weasley. It had been him who had spoken her name. \'Where\'ve you been? And why are you dressed like that?\'

\'Well, I, um... that is to say.... erm, I....\' Hermione, never one to be without just the right answer, fumbled over what to tell the rest of her Housemates. Harry, Ron, Ginny, both Creevey brothers, Seamus, and Neville had all locked their gazes on her. She felt the blush returning to stain her cheeks. The only thing she wasn\'t unhappy about was that the bloody ring Snape had dropped into her palm was safely hidden in her pocket, thumping her thigh as she shifted nervously. She didn\'t think she\'d ever find a reason to explain that.

\'Are you blushing, Hermione?\' Ginny asked, her arms wrapped around the shoulders of her latest conquest. Neville didn\'t seem to mind her proprietory hold on him too much. In fact, if one had to guess, chances were that Neville was completely enchanted with the only female Weasley. Before Hermione could fumble up a good reason for the blush, Ron spoke again.

\' I know!\' he exclaimed, as if he\'d suddenly had a brilliant idea. For a moment, Hermione panicked, thinking that someone had found out about the impropmtu ceremony. \'She\'s been out on a date! I can\'t believe it! Who\'s the lucky bastard, `Mione?\'

She almost snorted with his last question. She wouldn\'t call him lucky, but he was a bastard alright. She could well imagine the reaction she would get, were they to find out exactly where she\'d been. She drummed up a faint smile, then shrugged. \' I\'m afraid I can\'t tell. It is something of a secret.\'

\'He\'d better treat you right, `Mione, or Harry and I will put a bloody brilliant hex on him,\' Ron told her, surprisingly not asking any further questions regarding the identity of her mysterious boyfriend. She gave him a sincerely grateful smile, wishing that the two of them would hex the domineering, self-absorbed prick with something completely hideous and incurable.

\'Thank you, Ron. That really means alot to me,\' she told him, her voice full of honesty. \'You have no idea just how much that means to me. I\'m going to bed now. I\'ve had a rather long day. I\'ll see you in the morning.\'

And before anyone could say anything else, Hermione turned and headed for her private rooms. She muttered the password, entering her romms absently when the portrait that guarded it swung open. Her mind was on the events of the evening. She was still in shock that over the course of one single day, her life had taken such a drastic turn. She\'d never pictured herself married until she was well out of school, with an established career. And she\'d certainly never pictured a husband like Severus Snape. Damn the Ministry for meddling where it didn\'t belong. And damn whoever had told them that there was more going on than there actually was.

She threw her school robes over the back of a chair, her hands automatically going for the zip on the back of her dress. She mananged to get it down far enough that the dress could slip off her body and to the floor. A dull thunk reminded her that she had dropped the ring Snape had put into her hand into her pocket. She retrieved it from the garment, taking another moment to stare at it before setting it on her dresser, near her jewelry chest.

She had taken two steps away before turning back to the dresser to stare at the ring that lay there. She sighed and marched back over, picking it up once more. If she left it on the dresser like that, it would get lost. She dug into the small chest, pulling out a chain that she could string the piece on. After a moment of debate, she slipped it around her neck. Not that she wanted to wear it, but she felt it would be safer around her neck than anywhere else.

Grumbling to herself for this latest bit of foolishness, Hermione turned and trudged for the bathroom. It wasn\'t as if she was wearing the blasted ring because it meant something to her. She merely wanted to ensure that it remained safe. If, for some reason, she lost the bloody thing, she was certain Snape would have no qualms over wringing her neck for it. As he had said, he was marking her as his property. Letting her know who she belonged to. Arrogant bastard.

With a curse, she twisted the knobs on the porcelain bathtub, sending a rapid fall of water into the roomy basin. It was one of those old fashioned ones, with the clawed feet and rolled edge. The tub sat seperately, and was rather vast, a large shower head suspended over one end. The curtain went all the way round the porcelain piece. When closed, the inhabitant of the tub was completely shut off from the outside world. She plugged the drain, then added a healthy dose of bubble bath to the collecting fluid.

Soon, a froth of white, victorian rose scented bubbles was rising over the edge of the tub. Ridding herself of the remaining bit of her clothing, a matched set of bra and high cut panties made of a deep maroon cotton, she stepped into the tub. The water was just the right temperature for her, and she let out a long sigh. Tension seeped away as if it were ice, melting from the heat. She had no idea she\'d been that wound up all day.

Settling against the back of the tub, Hermione allowed her eyes to drift shut. She cleared her mind, her only intention to be that of thoroughly enjoying her bath. The gods must have found her situation completely amusing. No sooner than she had everything from her brain when it decided it wanted to go back over the events she was trying to purge from it. Her mind, horrid thing that it was, wanted to replay her farce of a wedding and the subsequent kiss. Alright, so it wanted to replay the kiss.

Hermione had been shocked to find Snape\'s lips soft as silk. There had been pressure in the kiss, as well as demand, telling her that he was well versed in how to do such a normal thing. People kissed every day. And yet, she had known that he excelled in the task. That moment they had pressed their lips together had been more than a kiss to her. She had felt the stirrings of a deep need. It wasn\'t something she\'d ever admit to anyone, but kissing Snape had turned her on. Of all the horrid twists of fate. She was married to a man who could turn her one with a simple kiss. And she hated him.

\' I suppose it could have been worse. I could have been forced to marry Filch,\' she muttered aloud. Realizing what she said, she sat up in a panic, glancing around as if she half expected to see the Ministry official and Filch appear in her bathroom, Mrs. Norris at his feet and watching like a hawk. She couldn\'t imagine an intimate situation with Filch. And she had to wonder if Mrs. Norris would be watching the entire act with her eagle eyes, holding a tiny pad of paper and pencil in her paws, making notes for Filch to study at a later date. Hermione swore that the cat was really human. It explained far too much.

She must have done something terribly wicked to deserve this kind of punishment. She had always envisioned a loving husband. One who wasn\'t rumored to be everything evil known to man. She was like most women. She wanted a family. Children. She doubted she would get such from someone like her Potions Professor. With a groan, she ducked her head beneath the water. She had to get the man out of her mind. Just because a man said they were married, that didn\'t make is so. She would go on about her life as if nothing had changed. Because it hadn\'t.

Hermione took her time in the tub, soaking until her skin was wrinkled. She slipped from the tub, feeling better than when she\'d crawled in, and gathered up the towels thrown over the rack. She wrapped one about her wet hair, then used the second to dry her wet skin with. She stepped into her room, going over to the dresser to extract a fresh change of underwear and a nightgown. She dressed, then looked at herself in the mirror. The silver of the chain winked at her from where it peaked out from underneath her nightie.

That served to remind her all over again of everything that had happened to her today. And that sent her brain whirling into a bottomless pit of hormone induced sexual desire. It returned to the kiss, how it had pearled her nipples and sent need spiralling through her system. It was embarrassing enough that he had most likely felt that reaction. How could he not have, her chest pressed to his as it was. She would have been mortified, had he known that his simple salute, that single kiss, had seen her growing damp. With need. For him. It was bloody disgusting.

With a groan, Hermione threw herself down on her bed, slipping beneath the covers. She was going to sleep. She was not going to think about Snape. She was not going to feel his lips pressing hers. She was not going to imagine how soft his hands would be as they caressed her naked body. She was not going to picture him poised over her, the rigid length of him pushing into her.....

With a loud groan, she turned onto her stomach, squeezing her thighs together. She wasn\'t going to even think about touching herself. Not when *he* was the cause. How could the thought of him make her so damned horny?

Arrogant Slytherin!

~*~*~*~*~

Severus sat in his study, staring moodily at the fire. He still couldn\'t believe the utter stupidity of the evening. Married! To Hermione \'Know-It-All\' Granger! It was so funny, it was sad. He\'d never pictured that he\'d ever find someone that would stimulate him enough to get married. Not physically, and certainly not mentally. And while Granger was an intelligent one, she was not his idea of a physical match. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

He lifted the snifter of brandy to his lips, sipping idly as he let his mind wander over the entire day. He still couldn\'t believe that things had worked out as they had. After the first meeting with the Headmaster and the Granger girl, Severus had gone back to the office and tried everything he could think of to convince the Headmaster to put a halt to the completely idiotic plans the Ministry had come up with. He\'d pleaded and made all the arguments he could think of. Nothing had worked. He\'d almost gone against everything he stood for and begged. Almost. If he had nothing to him, Severus still had his dignity. He\'d scowled and cursed when Albus had told him that his hands were tied.

That had not stopped the Head of Slytherin House. As he\'d gone down to dress for his wedding, Severus had been planning. Scheming. Yes, he\'d decided to dress up. He hadn\'t been planning on dressing for the wedding. It had been more for intimidation. He knew he was an imposing figure in black, which was why he wore it so often. But he\'d intended to be even more impressive today than any other. He intended to talk the person from the Ministry into calling the entire thing off. He needed to look his scariest to achieve that.

The clothing he\'d chosen had been some of his finest. A set of robes that he\'d had yet to wear. The linen was some of the best produced, with lines embroidered on it in grays and greens into the shapes of snakes. They were extravagant and rich, proclaiming his family as one of the old Wizarding families. Money and power and titles went with his familial name, and he\'d intended for the official from the Ministry to know that.

If he were being honest with himself, he\'d have admitted to himself that he\'d dressed in his best to show the Know-It-All that he was not a mere teacher for her and her friends to sneer at. He was a man, a person with dignity and pride. And, if it turned out that there had been nothing he could do to change the Ministy\'s decision, he\'d been intent that she would know just who she was marrying. He\'d decided he wanted her to know that, should they be forced to marry, he was the one with all the power.

Purely as an after thought, he\'d retrieved the ring. It had been his mother\'s. She\'d given it to him when he was in his fifth year, telling him to always keep it safe. She\'d told him it was from her family, and she\'d wanted him to have it, to give to his wife when he finally married. He\'d never thought he\'d have a need to use the beautiful piece, that he would never find a woman to marry. He\'d never believed that he would find a woman who would want to marry him. He knew he was not the type of man who attracted women to him. He wasn\'t classically handsome. His nose was too large, his skin too sallow. He was not attractive in the least. So why some woman would willingly bind herself to him was something he couldn\'t fathom. It was his opinion that he would always remain single.

But now he had this..... travesty of justice on his hands. For the Ministry to think that he would ever lay a hand on any of his students was beyond ludicrous. He was far more professional than that. He would never stoop to shagging any of the children that trudged through his class. He had no need to try and find relief with the plethera of dimwitted, snot-nosed, hormonally unbalanced, ungrateful little trolls that failed to grasp the subtle nuances of Potions. If he wanted that kind of trouble, he\'d spend his time in Knockturn Ally. That depressing blackhole was teeeming with the lowest dregs of humanity he had ever seen.

He\'d arrived back at Dumbledore\'s office early, hoping to.... dissuade the official from the Ministry to change his mind about the marriage. He\'d been at his absolute best behavior, politely arguing the points he felt would prove that there was no call for he and the Granger girl to marry. He\'d told the man he would never, not ever in his life, lay a hand on one of his students. He\'d kindly left off the desparaging remarks about Granger being that last person in the universe that he would ever consider touching.

He\'d gone on, stating that his record since he\'d started at Hogwarts surely spoke for his character. The Ministry official had merely looked at him, staring as if he we speaking in a foreign tongue. Severus had lost his temper then, and prompty told the pompous arse that he had more taste than to ever consider shagging a Gryffindor. The man had merely looked at him, and it had goaded Severus into making an ass of himself by sprouting off that, were he to do something so blatantly disgusting, he would at least consider taking someone from his own house and using her in so base a manner.

It appeared that the official had not been impressed or moved by his speech. He\'d declared dryly that the wedding would go on as planned. Severus had immediately reverted to his scowling, snarky self and began muttering curses under his breath. Granger had been in much the same mood when she\'d come in. What a bloody lovely couple they must have made.

Severus snorted, his mind trying to wrap around the fact that he was now tied legally to one Hermione \'Know-It-All\' Granger. It seemed his luck was to never change. The silly girl had no clue what the two of them had been thrown into. All because of some silly statements that were taken so far out of context, his mind was still reeling at the implications. Why did it have to be Granger? He despised her almost as much as he did her spot-light hogging friend. Harry \'the bloody famous, Boy Who Lived\' Potter. Stupid git! Severus would as soon lay a hand on him in a sexual manner as he would Granger.

Still, he supposed it could have been worse. He could have been forced into a marriage with someone less...... Alright, he couldn\'t think of what someone could be less of next to Granger. She was far too smart for her own good, and her looks were apalling. Just his luck. \'Still,\' he sighed to himself, sipping at his drink idly. \' It could have been worse. I could have been forced to marry someone like Potter.\'

The moment the sentence passed his lips, Severus found himself coughing. His drink had gone down the wrong way, and he was suddenly seized with a terror, knowing that his words might be taken seriously. He looked around, half expecting the official to pop up with Potter and begin a second ceremony. Just what he bloody needed. With a muttered curse, he set his glass down and headed off for bed. No use complaining about it now, seeing as it was all said and done. He might as well get some sleep.

It was nearly two hours later that Severus groaned and swore a blue streak. Sleep had decided to be completely nasty and elude him. He couldn\'t stop thinking about the kiss he\'d given the Granger girl. It had been for show, to let the official know that he was not one to just back down. He\'d given her his mother\'s ring, knowning by the look on his face that she understood he\'d marked her as his property. Nothing more. He\'d put his \'wife\' in her place by referring to her by her family name. She\'d been less than pleased. Still, he couldn\'t stop thinking about her reaction to his kiss.

She had almost melted against him, her muscles fighting to relax. Her nipples had puckered up, poking him in the chest in answer to his lips pressing hers. Her mouth had gone slack a moment, but he had known she could kiss. She\'d proved it by kissing him back with some small measure of enthusiasm. Whether she had intended to or not. His mind would not let that image of her, the feel of her, go. He was stiff as a board now, in desperate need of a thoroughly cold shower. It was going to be a long night, indeed.

Bloody Gryffindor!

~*~*~*~*~

Minerva McGonagall stared into the twinkling blue eyes of the Headmaster. Albus was smiling that secret smile of his that meant nothing but trouble. The old goat was up to something. She shifted her position, then propped herself up on her elbow to look him fully in the face. \'Albus, do you think they know what happened in there tonight?\'

\'No, Minerva. I do not. I think the two of them have no clue what transpired in my office earlier,\' he grinned at her, settling his head into the cup of his hands. he looked supremely content.

\'How long do you think it will take them to figure it out?\' she wondered aloud, settling back against the cushion of her chair.

\'Knowing those two.... quite some time, I\'m sure,\' he chuckled gleefully.

\'And what do we do in the mean time?\' she asked him, puzzled as to how he could remain so calm when everything was up in the air, in a muddle, as it was.

\'We sit back and watch to see what happens. They will either kill each other by the end of the first week, or they\'ll be shagging in every darkened corner. Either way, it should prove entertaining.\'

She studied him a moment longer, then sighed. Which ever course of action they followed, she only hoped the two of them left Hogwarts standing in their wake. Albus was right. The next week would prove highly entertaining......

end chapter two.
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thanks go out to my beta, madam shark, since she tells me what doesn\'t fit and what does and she didn\'t laugh when she saw this. and to my regulars..... red, simone, and kenly.... they help keep me going.

now.... to all my reviewers. all i can say is.... oh my gods! i am overwhelmed at the amount of interest in this story after only one chapter. i swear i will do my best to keep it interesting. i wouldn\'t want to disappoint anyone. i have a few comments to make.... i\'ll try to be brief.

to Drea: his speech may have been a little informal, but he\'d just suffered a huge shock. he should be back to his normal, stiff and snarky self soon. thanks and i\'m so glad you like the \"prime specimen of librarian\" it was a good line.

to tamargrl: i suppose it could be inconceivable.... as there would be ways to find out.... but what if no one was willing to try and discover the truth? wouldn\'t they be more interested in covering up the scandal? still... you have a good point, and i liked that line about the butterflies, too. :)

to Redone: i will admit that you have a valid point. why dress up and be amiable to the proceedings? i suppose i could have had them fight a bit more. but the bunny bit, and i had a hard time stopping to think about the probables. allow me some leeway, and we\'ll see how quickly they go to one another.... maybe i cam make some of it a bit more believable for you. thanks for reading, and i hope you enjoy anyway.

to the rest of you.... all twenty of the others who took the time to review, thank you so much. i\'m glad you are all enjoying the premise..... i hope i can make the rest of the story as funny and rivetting as the first one seemed to have been. please feel free to make a suggestion here and there. if it\'s really good.... i\'ll work it in. on my honor!