Bathtime at Grimmauld Place

A/N: I should warn people. This has only been written because I am drunk and I am putting off an essay. Procrastination is not a good thing, but it is a productive thing. Its only short, shall be three chapters long. Am working on next one now.

Daya

*


Minor panic attack passes due to risk of drowning. Try to calm self down. Right, Hermione, as I see it, you have three options.

1.) Make your presence known, either by moving, coughing, or generally screaming and therefore face complete and utter humiliation at having to admit to perving on own Potions Master.

2.) Pretend to have been asleep and ‘wake up’ suddenly. Minimum embarrassment but still might shock aforementioned Potions Master.

3.) Do nothing.


Option three most appealing at this point. Also opportunity to continue perving on surprisingly sexy body.

There is a flick of a wand, and a few candles suddenly appear, with the scent of sandalwood. A second flick and the bath water refreshes itself, thick with soothing bubbles and oils, deliciously scented, and steaming hot. Hadn’t realised water had been getting cold, this is a pleasant surprise.

In this light can see Snape more clearly. Trousers have come off. He has long, thin, but muscular legs. At the base of his back, above a tight, firm arse, a silvery green snake lies coiled. This man is Slytherin through and through have decided. Am beginning to panic though. Is still reasonably dark in here, enough for him not to have seen me yet. But he’s going to be getting into the bath soon. And he’s bound to notice me then…

Cannot tear eyes away though, as he stretches into the air, long arms almost brushing the low ceiling. Have sudden urge to lick lips. Am staring at man as starving person would stare at three course meal. He finishes his stretch, and his hands slip to his hips, to begin to lower the black jockey shorts that lie snugly against his body.

Oh dear. Am going to have to do something and soon Hermione. You can’t just lie here. Squeak. Or something. Anything.

I don’t think one of the options was to take a deep breath and plunge under water. But that’s what I did.

So find myself pressed against side of bath, unable to breathe as have no gillyweed available. Also have eyes squeezed tightly shut due to oils and bubbles in water. Eek. Can feel disturbance in water.

This isn’t good. Can feel the other end of the bath getting heavier. There is a definite sloshing movement of water around me. Am beginning to panic. This isn’t good.

How slowly does this man get into a bath? Oxygen supply beginning to run out rapidly, just as an exploratory foot approaches me. There is a long pause as long toed foot meets soft rounded buttock.

Another gentle prod.

Yes. You have ascertained that there is something or somebody in the bath with you.

He prods again. Even underwater and with eyes shut can figure out he has really long toes. Bodes well for other parts of anatomy. Scold self. Oxygen deprivation really getting to be a problem. Should not be thinking about parts of male anatomat mat may cause you to hyperventilate further.

Can hold back no more. With something akin to gasping roar, heave self upwards, bosoms flying (as my mother would say) and gulp in great mouthfuls of air.

Ah. Appear to have somewhat surprised Severus Snape, as he gives huge cry, flings his equally naked self backwards and trips on edge of bath as he tries to flee. There is a wildly comic moment as I try to get air into lungs, and his arms flail helplessly in air like windmill on speed. Then he is falling. Water on the black and white tiles have made the floor dangerously slippy, and it is with horrific thud he falls back onto the tile, and the horrid sound of thud is only matched by crack of his skull meeting floor.

Peer over edge of bath, water dripping from my hair onto his toes. Decide it would not be honourable to check out his package while he lies unconscious on floor. Or even worse. Dead.

Oh god. He’s dead. Severus Snape is dead, and I have killed him. He’s cracked his skull on the tiles and now I’m going to have to get someone to help me bury the body because there is no way I’m going to explain why I was naked in a bath with Snape. Oh gods, who to ask. Ginny? She owes me a favour. Or Harry. Harry is always good in bad situations, even if he only claims it’s only luck. Right. Have to think logically. Must contact Harry. Shall see if can call him from bathroom door. Means having to get out of bath. Humph. All clothes are out of reach. Anyway, he’s dead. He won’t care if I’m naked.

Carefully clamber out of bath. Have images of slipping, and my dead body being found sprawled on top of naked Severus Snape’s. Oh gods. Would be so humiliated would have to come back as a ghost and haunt people simply to stop them gossiping. There appears to be a bottle of firewhiskey in his hand.

Pause.

Stare at firewhiskey.

Surely it wouldn’t be disrespectful? Not if he’s dead. Could always toast him.

Finally manage to pry bottle from dead fingers. They are cold I notice. Fuck. Have definitely killed him. Am shaking as I fumble lid off. Hate screw caps as never come off easily when you need them to. Put bottle to lips and drink frantically, letting the heat burn my throat as it slips to my stomach. Oh god, I needed that.

Ok. Toast. I can do this. I hold bottle aloft (after sneaking another mouthful or two) and clear my throat. ‘To Severus Snape. Potions Master. Spy. Member of the Order of the Phoenix. Taken long before his time. Completely by accident. Oh yes. It was an accident. I had nothing to do with it at all.’

‘Miss Granger? What the fuck are you doing?’

Corpse appears to be talking to me. Peer downwards, through my wet hair that is hanging over my face, and see naked Severus Snape peering up at me with a bemused expression on his face.

Do only sensible thing possible. Scream and throw hands over eyes. Bottle flies through the air, and lands heavily on him. Can only guess from meaty thud it was somewhere in the region of his head or chest.

There is a lot of loud cursing coming from the direction of the floor. Peer through fingers to see Snape curled up on floor, clutching head, and covered in sticky amber liquid. Would quite like to lick this off, I am appalled to find myself thinking. The firewhiskey bottle lies against him, almost, but not quite spilling its precious contents.

‘Oh, sir, I’m so sorry,’ I whisper, finally managing to get myself under control.

‘Frankly, Miss Granger I don’t give a damn if you’re sorry or not. I want to know what you are doing in my bathroom’

Gingerly he sits up, and attempts to cover his manhood with his hands. Blush and attempt to do the same by sitting on edge of bath. Seems safest to stare at ceiling rather than directly at him. Also seems futile to argue right now that it was he who interrupted my bath time.

‘Sir, this isn’t your bathroom,’ I try tentatively. ‘It’s Harry’s.’

He scowls. ‘Yes, but it’s the one closest to the bedroom I use when I’m here, and I’ve begun to think of it… Oh what’s the bloody point in trying to explain it to a Know It All anyway?’

Am somewhat offended by this. Decide to try equal levels of haughtiness. ‘Well. I’ll remember that in future. And I’ll ask Harry to get a sign for the door so everyone knows.’

‘May I remind you, Miss Granger, that although this is the Christmas break, I am still your professor, and you will still treat me with respect, or I shall make it my personal mission to have your Headgirl’s badge removed on your return to Hogwarts.’

Is with some restraint I manage not to roll my eyes, and leaning over, one hand protectively covering my breasts and snatch the bottle of whiskey up. I glug at it appreciatively.

‘I hardly think that’s appropriate, Miss Granger.’ Snape sneers.

I fix him with my best ‘I’m about to take fifty points from Slytherin look’. It’s loosely based on his sneer I suddenly find myself realising. ‘I am old enough to drink, Professor Snape. Thanks to my time turner, I’m already eighteen.’

‘I’m well aware of that fact, thank you. I was just going to point out, it’s my firewhiskey.’

Blush, and offer it back to him. He waves it away with something very close to a smile. Decide this is the best invitation I’m going to get and take another drink. Am beginning to feleasleasantly warm. I hold it back to him, and he also takes a drink. Think we both need it right now.

‘Are you ok?’ I ask nervously, as I am cause of his injuries.

He starts to explore his head. He winces as he finds a largish bump under his hair. ‘I’ve had worse,’ he says with a deep and meaningful sigh.

For some reason find this funny and begin to giggle. He glares at me, but still I giggle. ‘Let me check it for you.’

I still have the sense to grab the nearest towel and wrap it around myself. Finding my wand in my clothing (which I glance longingly at) I peer at his head.

‘Miss Granger, are you sure you’re qualified to do this?’ he asks nervously as my fingers slip into his hair, gently exploring the bump from the black and white tiles.

‘Not yet,’ I mutter, feeling him jump anxiously under my fingers. Am determined to remain professional and not look at the fact he is naked. ‘But I’ve got a place to train as a mediwitch next year, and I’ve been assisting in the Infirmary for some time now.’

‘Really? I would have thought you were ready to train as an auror, like your Gryffindor friends.’

‘No,’ I ‘accidentally’ tug at his hair a little too hard as I explore. ‘I’ve seen what this bloody war is doing to people. I want to help those that have been injured.’

‘I would expect nothing less from a Gryffindor.’

‘House has nothing to do with it,’ I mutter. ‘I’m helping you, aren’t I?’

‘Only afyou you caused the injuries.’

Ah yes, there is that. ‘I am truly sorry. I just panicked when you came in here.’

‘Perhaps next time you could make your presence known?’

Perhaps next time I won’t be so shy. Gah. Where did that thought come from? ‘I’ll try sir.’

Is only a matter of a flick and a swish and bump is gone from head. Can do nothing for large bruise forming on shoulder from bottle, as is better to let these things heal themselves.

He’s still sitting naked on the floor, leaning against the bath. Thankfully he’s covered up, but can’t help but blush at close proximity to him. Try to hide it from him, but the smile that’s playing on his lips tells me he might have already guessed. I can’t help it. Am in desperate need of a man’s touch, and now, not just any man, this man. Have always thought there was a deeper side to Severus Snape, a quality that I just couldn’t explain. And now, all I want is him. Is cloying, thick, suffocating urge, like the smell of sandalwood surrounding us.

He shifts his position, and I realise he’s having difficulty concealing his own arousal. I’m stunned. It appears I’m having the same effect on him as he is me.

Too much happening at once. I back off quickly, and gather my clothes into my arms. He stands, I can feel his eyes boring into me as I fumble for door handle.

‘I’ll leave you to your bath, sir,’ I say frantically, why can’t I bloody find the handle?

There is a long pause. All you can hear is my nails scrabbling against wood of door.

‘Why don’t you stay and finish your bath, Miss Granger? I don’t bite. Much.’

TBC.