Too much love can kill you

Disclaimer: All persons in this story belong to JK Rowling and Warner
Brothers






Disclaimer: All persons in this story belong
to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers. No mois bis being made off of this story,
and none is wanted.

 

Webba: A
couple of things really bothered me with this story. First off, Hermione is in
pain because she killed Cho accidentally. But then, despite all this, Harry
just comes up to her one day and says he didn't really love her, and then, in
so many words he says he really loved Hermione? If I were Hermione I would have
slapped him stupid! What a nasty, vile, heartless thing to say--even if it were
the truth. Telling Hermione something like that almost seems to cheapen Cho's
death. The real Hermione would have been appalled.

 

Me: This is something I will explain in future
chapters. Believe me there wasn’t everything quiet right in this relationship
with Cho and Hermione knows this. That’s why Harry said that she knew it.

 

Webba: Second, I am going to assume you're either a
virgin, or the sex you've had was by the world's greatest lover, because sex
the first time, even with the most patient and skilled of lovers is going to
hurt. A Lot. There's going to be some tears, probably some blood, and it's not
going to be very pleasurable at all. If she were a virgin, she would have even
been nervous with him fingering her, probably. Harry might have been
able to stimulate her to orgasm with the manual foreplay, but almost certainly
not with the actual act.

 

Me: Well, I know its hurt, very much hurt. I
didn’t write it like that because Its already bad enough what did happen. See
Its that this chapter needed some light and If I write how painful, though it
would be realistic, this would be a really dark fic. Anyway Its possible that
the first time don’t hurt that much. Its depends how the barrier is. Just think
it wasn’t anymore that straight.

Yeah that with orgasm, I know this, too. You wouldn’t have one not
even by the second or 3th time.

 

Webba: Also, is Harry a virgin
in this? If so, kudos to him for knowing where to place himself on the first
try.

 

Me, he, he isn’t. In this case I thought it would
be kinda stupid. Even its only fiction. At least I did wrote that it did indeed
hurt. Sure not that detailed or exact but I know there are fictions out where
its not like that. But anyway I did write it that way because for plot reason. In
another fiction of my I will write it because of plot reason much more
realistic.

 

 

 

 

IN THESE ARMS

 

In These Arms

You want a commnt
nt

Take
a look into these eyes

They
burn with a fire, just for you now

Until
the end of time

I
would do anything

I'd
beg, I'd steal, I'd die

To
have you in these arms tonight

Baby,
I want you like the roses

Want
the rain

You
know I need you

Like
a poet needs the pain

I
would give anything

My
blood, my love, my life

 

by Bon Jovi

 

Harry
rubbed his eyes. His glasses were broken on the floor of the common room. He
didn't need them now. It hadn thn the worst weeks in his life. Never had he
thought it could be so bad. But now, he knew it could. He knew he lost. In his
mind, he could hear Ron screaming angrily. Harry wondered how Ron could scream
like that at Hermione. Even Harry couldn't speak or react to Cho's dead body on
the floor. He could see how he'd lost Hermione, too. Her eyes were dulled as
she dared to look into his. Voldemort had escaped, and Cho had been killed.
Harry knew that it was because Hermione had failed, but his mind could hardly
comprehend it. Now he was sitting there, and he didn't know what he should do.
His mind, his very heart, was screaming that he couldn't take to lose her too.

 

In his
mind, he could hear the fight earlier, between him and Ron.

 

Harry looked around. It had been nearly
six weeks since Cho died, and Hermione wasn't there. He hadn't the strength to
talk to her. All that he knew before Cho died was now wrong, o fel felt wrong
for him. His head was spinning in circles. His soul -- it hurt badly. Nothing
was how it should be.

 

"Ron?"
he said. It was the first time in days that he said something. Ron barely
looked up at Harry, waiting. "Where is -- Her... Hermione?" With
difficulty, he could say her name.

 

It
wasn't the pain he felt about her guiltiness over Cho's death. It was something
else. He couldn't look at Hermione, because she looked so terriwhenwhen he saw
her in classes. Like she wasn't herself -- like she was someone else, without
any fire in her brown eyes. It hurt to see her. But he knew he shouldn't think
so. He should be ad about the death of his girlfriend. He was sad, but not how
he should be.

 

"Hopefully
not anywhere near here," answered Ron.

 

They
were in the common room of Gryffindor Tower, and Harry kept glancing towards
the portrait hole. "Hopefully?"
Harry was looking at Ron. "Have you seen her -- how terrible she looks?
It's like she's given up. How can you say 'hopefully'? She is, after
all, our friend -- isn't she?" His voice rose dramatically

 

"How
can I say that?" snapped Ron. "She killed Cho. You should be even
angrier with her than I am -- you shouldn't be worrying about her! If you
haven't noticed, Hermione is not my friend anymore and I hope you have the
sense to not have her as a friend anymore, either!" Ron's own voice rose,
too.

 

"Damn
it, Ron. She's my friend and I don't want to lose her. Hermione is too
important to me -- I won't let her down." Harry was nearly screaming, and
all the Gryffindors were watching on. Harry's glasses shattered, anger boosting
the accidental magic.

 

"Slowly,
I'm asking myself who you love, Harry," snarled Ron. "Was it Cho, or
always Hermione?"

 

By
these words, Harry jumped to his feet. But he didn't say a thing. He took one
breath before he took his glasses and threw them on the floor. Then he turned
and left.

 

Now
Harry was sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. His thoughts were
about Hermione, and what he truly felt for her. His mind was spinning madly.
Ron's words were echoing through his mind. Was it really always Hermione? Did
he love her? There wasn't an easy answer to that. True, Hermione was one of his
best friends, and he loved her for that. But romantically? Suddenly, every
scene with her in his life replayed before his eyes. He could see things that
he never truly saw before. Her gentle smiles at him, the curve of her lips. He
shook his head. It couldn't be -- could it?

 

He knew
only one thing. He had to talk to her immediately. It was time to bring it all
to an end. Six weeks was long enough, and he couldn't take more. Though he had
looked at her with narrowed eyes, it was always with sadness that she looked so
bad, never hate. Slowly, he drew in a deep breath before he stood up and went
to the girls' dormitory to see her. The door to the dormitory wasn't closed.
Without any sound, he went into the fairly dark room. On her bed, he could see
her. She was lying there, and she looked asleep. Lonely. His heart went out to
her, hurt by the sight that he saw in front of him.

 

Her
eyelids fluttered open. Again, he saw those beautiful sad eyes. How long ago
was it that he had seen those eyes and was lost? It had been in his fifth year
as he had looked into those eyes and nearly started to fall for his best
friend's girlfriend. He had seen it on her face that she felt the same way for
him, but it was impossible. It had been nothing more than hormones. Harry had
needed those days to look at her without feeling, which wasn't right. Slowly,
he saw how Hermione rose from her bed and attempted to leave the room. She
looked weak, not like herself, but Harry was falling for her anyway.

 

Maybe
this time was worse than ever. The door was only a few steps away from her as
Harry began to speak. "Wait!" It didn't stop her.

 

With
fast steps, he went to her. "Hermione, wait. Don't go."

 

Everything
stopped. Hermione slowly turned around and looked at him. Her eyes never met
his. Again, she tried to avoid him. He could see dark shadows under her eyes,
even though she was sleeping only a few minutes before. Her face was thinner
than it had been weeks before. Only her eyes could make it worse -- they were
so dull now.

 

"You
look horrible," he said. "When was the last time you slept, or even
ate anything?"

 

But she
only closed her tired eyes for a few seconds. It felt like an eternity to him.
For a long time, he watched her face. It was ghostly pale, but still beautiful.
Her chest was rising and falling slowly. It was as if he saw her for the very
first time again, though he knew every inch of her face and how it could react.

 

"It's
not your problem!" He could barely hear her voice.

 

How
could she say that? Disbelievingly, he shook his head. Though he wasn't wearing
his glasses, he could read the expression on her face. He saw her more clearly
than ever. "I care about you," he said. "It should be my
problem."

 

"Not
anymore!" Her voice broke as she said this. He watched her carefully. This
wasn't possible. She couldn't believe that, could she? As he saw her face,
closer now, he knew she could and it was as if his heart was being ripped out
of his chest.

 

"Don't
you understand? I don’t want to lose you, Hermione."

 

"No,
you didn't lose me. You lost someone much more important to you than I could
ever be." To Harry's surprise, she didn't sound angry, only sad and
guilty. Hermione was so wrong. She looked down. "Please. Just leave me
alone." She bit her lip. "Go... please."

 

Nothing
could make him leave now. It was simply too much to ask for. If she looked at
him, she would have spotted the tears shining in his eyes. He took a few steps
and stood in front of her. "I didn't love her," he said, saying
exactly what he thought at that exact moment.

 

"You
don't know what you're saying," she snapped, starting to move away.

 

That
wasn't the end, not yet. Quickly, he grabbed her arm so she couldn't leave. In
her expression, he could see that he hurt her slightly, but did not let go.

 

"I
thought I would, but I didn't," he said. "You know it's true, don't
you?" With his hand, he caressed her cheek now. He was so close now. At
first, he didn't realise it, but now it was too late. He couldn't back away
now.

 

Carefully,
he watched her surprised expression, and then closed the space between them and
barely kissed her lips. Hermione backed away, but he couldn't let her. It was
so right, feeling his lips against hers.

 

"Don't."
It wasn't time to speak anymore, it was time to feel. Once again, he stopped
her with his lips. Carefully, he tasted her lips with his tongue. Her lips
parted from his touch. The world around him was spinning away as he caressed
her tongue with his. Hermione didn't give in, and he wished she would kiss him
back. He pulled her closer against his body as he put his arm around her waist.
With his other hand, he held her head much closer to him. It fit -- she fit in
his arms perfectly. He wanted her to feel again -- to feel that she was living
again.

 

Barely,
he kissed her as his hands begun to stoke her back. If this was the first and
the last kiss, then he needed to touch her even more. His mind didn't work
right anymore, he realised. Maybe he went too far, maybe he would lose her with
this, but the sceptical voice in Harry's head was far too quiet and didn't have
enough power against the feeling that was now stronger than anything he'd ever
felt before. With his right hand, he touched her side. Suddenly, before Harry
could back away, her arms were around his neck and she pulled him back into the
kiss. All of time vanished as her tongue touched his.

 

Very
lightly, he kissed her back before he broke the kiss and touched, softly with
his lips, her cheek. He knew now that it was right. Right to give in to his
feelings. Softly, he kissed her neck before he touched her soft skin with his
tongue. Harry knew Hermione would stop him if he went too far, and continued.
He began to unbutton her pyjama top uncertainly. He could feel her smooth skin
under his palms. He felt no awkward feelings, thankfully. Softly, he nipped at
her earlobe.

 

"I
need you," he murmured into her hear. Hermione's head turned to him, and
he could see her brown eyes shining with tears.

 

" I
need you more," she replied. Her voice was so quiet that it was difficult
to hear her.

 

"Shh."
This time he kissed her with more care. At this moment, he needed her so much
that he couldn't take it if it ended and he didn't come out of this abyss she
sunk into. With both arms, he lifted her and carried her to the bed without
breaking the kiss. He was on top of her as he lay his hands on her stomach.

 

It was
unbelievable how soft her skin was. Lightly, very lightly, he let his hands
travel over her skin. His hands were between her breasts as he kissed and
licked her neck down to her collarbone. A shy smile played at his lips as he
heard Hermione react to his touches. The remaining buttons were undone quickly
and he saw how perfect she was. He observed her closely in amazement, stroking
her right breast with one finger. As he leaned down to kiss her nipple lightly,
he felt her hands running through his hair. Barely, his tongue darted out and
caressed the now rock hard nipple with his tongue.

 

For a
brief moment, he sucked lightly on it. Hermione gasped quietly, which made him
even more aroused. He didn't expect her to so eagerly grasp at his t-shirt to
try and pull it off. He raised his arms and shifted to help her get it off of
her. After this, she took her arms out of the sleeves of her pyjama top. With
his tongue, he explored her mouth and continued to move his thumbs over her
breasts before he grasped them fully.

 

As her
hands ran over his chest, he could feel how much this was what he wanted. He
wanted her more than he ever had in his life. With both hands, Harry pushed her
pyjama bottoms down until they were off of her completely. Gently, he stroked
her thighs while still sucking on her breasts. Carefully, he laid his right
hand between her thighs and slipped a finger in. Slowly, he rubbed against her
clitoris.

 

Her
breathing became deeper and faster from this. Nothing could compare with this
expression as his finger slid carefully between her legs. Fascinated, he
watched her as he slid in and out of her until her hips tried to meet his
fingers. Harry wanted to be as close as possible to Hermione. To feel her
inside and outside. He took his hand away. Hermione groaned quietly, and her
eyes stared into his.

 

They
were so dark now, filled with passion and desire. A hungry desire with such an
indescribable glow. Suddenly, he was caught in those eyes and didn’t realise
how she had unbuttoned his jeans with a smile on her lips. Automatically, he
pulled his jeans and boxer shorts completely off. His eyes never left hers.
They were only inches away from crossing a line, which didn't really exist. He
cupped her cheek with his hand and softly stroked her face with his thumb.

 

"Are
you sure you want this? You can tell me if you don't." He knew she would
say yes -- it was written clearly in her eyes.

 

"I
want you," she answered huskily, before she grasped at him and kissed him
with such power that he was lost again. His other hand went down and parted her
legs. As he lay between her, he could feel the heat from her radiating against
him. Hermione broke the kiss as he entered her. Slowly, very slowly, he went
further. It was so hard to ignore this fantastic feeling. She was warm around
him, and she was holding him tighter than he could imagine. Never did he think
he'd cross this line with her. He had always fought against his feelings for
her. Today he was only one inch away.

 

"Kiss
me," he commanded. Without hesitation, she kissed him. Her soft lips
touched his before her tongue ran over his lips, which parted for her. As she
touched his touch, he slid through her barrier. Suddenly, she stopped kissing
him, but he didn't let her break the kiss.

 

Harry
took her legs around his waist. As he felt how much deeper he was, he moaned.
In his ears, he could hear her response. Their kiss became more intense as his
thrusts became faster. He could feel her legs tightly around him and felt how
she moved her hips against him. Harry's breathing was faster, and so he left
her mouth to catch his breath. Hermione's arms were tightly around his neck,
and slowly her hands travelled across his back as he went even faster. He
couldn't give more than that, so he grasped her bottom to bring her even
closer. Indeed, he couldn't get any closer. Her grip on his shoulder became
harder as her moans grew louder. From one thrust to another, she was tighter
and pulsating. Her grip was now almost painful, though he didn't care, as he
watched how she was almost on the edge. This expression on her face was new,
and he was sure that it was now his favourite. Tightly, her eyes shut and her mouth
opened lightly, her head in his neck. Before he knew it, he himself was over
the edge.

 

It was
so powerful that he didn't know when it was ever more intense. He laid his head
on her shoulder and her arms went around him. Harry knew that he had never felt
so complete before. Hermione's hand ran through his hair.

 

Without
thinking, he spoke. "You don't know how badly I need you," he
whispered. "I love you, always and forever. Near and far, together and
apart. I'd follow you anywhere, do anything for you." Her response was a
soft kiss onto his forehead.