Magical Mugwort

I stared out the window, watching the streaks of rain splattering the world outside. The world was reflecting just the way I felt: lousy. Sniffing and wiping my eyes, I reached for another tissue, then added it to the growing pile at the foot of my couch. My window was open slightly, allowing the scent of the rain and a small breeze to circle around my flat. Probably not the best idea, the way British weather tended to affect me sometimes, but I didn't care at the moment.

Wrapping my sweater around myself, I tried to figure out where I had gone so horribly wrong. I had been all right with my life until we'd come to England. Well, hell, even up until almost a month ago life had been fine. I hadn't had any qualms, hadn't worried about myself, at least no more than usual. And then, I had met the Weasley twins.

It was hard even to think about them, and a fresh round of tears started brewing. I liked them both. I had to admit it. They were so charismatic and funny and unbelievable, so unlike anyone I had ever met before. Having them come into my life had been a crazy ride that I had welcomed. I'd never expected anything serious out of them, just like I didn't expect much out of anyone, not even with You-Know-Who on the loose.

Being with them, whether it was one on one or the three of us hanging out, had been amazing. I'd never known anyone like them. Each twin had a very distinguishable, separate side to themselves. Fred, I had come to realize, loved to talk about his upbringing, and the find the humor in everything. He had a very subtle way of seduction. George, on the other hand, loved to hear about me, loved every new situation, and liked to play very directly when it came to seduction. Both were considerate lovers, both still thought alike and spoke alike, both were mischief personified. They had some truly fun, evil ideas when they worked together. It wasn't hard to see why they had formed a joke shop together.

I wanted to smile at the thought of them, but it only made the tears come harder. A hard ache settled in my chest, making it hard to breathe.

I had trusted them. Both of them. That night with George... I had never dreamed that he would be so stupid as to try something that bold, without consulting me first. I had thought that he was honest, as was Fred. Guess it turned out that neither of them were.

But look at me, I thought. Am I truly any better? Can I really say that I'm more honest than they are?

The answer was a resounding no. I liked to believe that I kept everything on the up and up, that I was upfront with people. But maybe I wasn't that honest. I thought about what I'd told my brother, that sex was a weapon. It was true that I had used it as such on occasion. The hard, simple fact was that I had had a bad experience when I was younger, and because of that, I had thought that I had to play men as fools, to make sure that I would never get hurt again.

But I hadn't taken it out on Fred or George. Neither of them. I had been myself with them. It may have started as a game, a game of attraction that, let's face it, they had initiated. But once the first dates were out of the way, once the sex was out of the way, we got to know each other, and it had blossomed. I had never thought about anything really serious, no commitments. But I had learned to like them, each for themselves. And they both wanted more than just that one night. That had come as a surprise to me. They weren't just about sex.

Swallowing hard, I took a drink of water and looked at the parchment my brother had sent me. I reread it.

Dear Maggie,

Just wanted you to know, I'm all settled here at Hogwarts. It's amazing! I wish you could see it
for yourself. Quidditch tryouts are going to be coming up soon. I'm going to tryout for Beater. I got sorted into Gryffindor, in case that interests you. That's the house Harry Potter's in. I've seen him around, but I haven't talked to him yet. He's captain of the Quidditch team this year, so hopefully I can meet up to expectations.

Listen, just thought I'd let you know, Fred and George have been writing me. They've been
writing me for awhile now. They miss you like crazy, sis. Don't know why, don't really
want to know why. They've been trying to get me to talk to you for them for ages now. I didn't
want to get in your way, but seeing as I'm at Hogwarts and you're in London, you can't
hurt me from here.

Maggie, I know what happened sucks. I know it has to hurt. I sure don't want to see a porno of you floating around out there. Haven't heard any gossip about it here, yet. I'd take that as a good sign. I know you're my big sister, and maybe I'm not supposed to interfere, but I like these guys. They're the first decent guys I've seen you with in I don't know how long. And I'm not just saying this because they discount their products for me. They know they messed up. They're ready
to make it up to you.

Take a good look at things, Maggie, before you stay pissed. You-Know-Who could attack at any time, kill us all. You really want to stay mad at these guys because there's a sex tape of you?

None of my business anyway. But if you work it out with them, maybe they'll let me be a test subject.

Andrew

Andrew's words made me flinch again. Somehow, my little brother had grown up when I wasn't looking. I wished I could have figured that out a long time ago. A lot of time and effort could have been spared if I'd paid attention to that.

He was right, and I was finally allowing myself to admit it. He was probably perfectly safe at Hogwarts if You-Know-Who attacked. Me? Out here in the real world? I'd likely not be so lucky. And if that were to happen, and I didn't make up with the twins... well, that didn't leave me feeling very well.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm myself down and stop the waterworks. I hadn't spoken to Fred or George in over a week. If I was lucky, maybe I could contact them and try to talk to them now. Andrew was right. So what if there was a sex tape out there? There were worse things that could happen in life. Was I ashamed that I liked sex? Not in the slightest. I already had a notorious reputation; a sex tape sure as hell wouldn't hurt anything.

But would they want to talk to me? After I had rebuffed all their attempts at communication, after I had sent back their gifts, after I had slept with their friend... was there any chance at all that they would speak to me?

I held my head in my hands, trying not to whimper as my body trembled. I had screwed myself over. A year ago, I wouldn't have had any remorse. Now, I felt as if I had squashed one of the good things in my life.

A soft knock at the door roused me from my self-pity. I looked up and wiped my face. Company, now?

“Of course,” I muttered. “Of course someone would come by now. Fuck.”

I took a drink of water, splashed some on my face, and absently brushed my hair out of my face. No makeup, loungey clothes, yeah, I was the picture of loafing.

The knock came again as I padded towards the door. I took a long, slow breath, and slowly opened the door.

Fred and George were both standing at the door, both of them slightly wet. Their hair held water droplets still. They both looked a little nervous.

“Hello, Maggie,” they greeted simultaneously.

At first I felt nothing but shock to see them there. I couldn't believe that they would come by, after everything that had happened. I thought for sure that they would have given up on me by now. Somewhere deep down I felt that flutter of irritation, but I shoved it away.

“Fred! George!”

I rushed forward and grabbed them both in my arms, practically bowling them over in the process.

“Well, that's a far better welcome than we had hoped for,” said George, and I could hear both the surprise and pleasure in his voice.

“I'll take this any day, no questions asked,” Fred answered.

As both of them put their arms around me, officially sandwiching me between their bodies, I allowed myself a shuddering exhale of relief. It hit me all of a sudden how much I had really missed them, and how stupid I had been. I might have had righteous anger on my side, but I had kept myself from enjoying what they brought into my life. Fred still smelled like peppermint and mugwort. George still smelled like sandalwood and pumpkin pie.

“Erm... not that I want to question this brilliant reception,” George said slowly, hand rubbing my back. “But why aren't you telling us to bugger off?”

I had to choke down another round of tears. Swallowing hard, I spoke into their chests. “Because I can't stand it anymore.”

Slowly pulling back, I looked up into their confused faces with my red, swollen eyes. “I'm sorry,” I confessed. “I'm so sorry. I've been horrible to you both, and I can't believe you're here right now. I wouldn't blame you at all if you never wanted anything else to do with me, and the fact that you're here--”

“Woah, woah, luv, slow down.” Fred exchanged a look with his brother as he took hold of my shoulders. “Maggie, what's wrong? You look terribly upset.”

“Can we come in?” George asked, a little frown marring his forehead.

“Oh! Gods, of course.” I stepped aside, allowing them both to come inside before I shut the door. “Come sit down.”

I moved towards the couch, but Fred gently caught my elbow, brought me around to face him. The concern was plain on his face. “Maggie, luv, are you all right?” he asked. “You've been crying.”

The concern that they both shared tore at my insides. Maybe it wasn't too late to make it all right.

My smile came out twisted and watery. I nodded, my hair hanging limply around my shoulders. “Yeah,” I choked out. “Just been having a long look in the mirror.”

George tilted his head, still watching me. “What's wrong? Has something happened?” he asked cautiously.

“No... yes... no, nothing major,” I fumbled for the words. Taking a quick breath, I steadied myself, found my resolve. There would be no mincing of words anymore. No avoidance or half-truths. Looking at both the twins, I steeled myself.

“I'm sorry,” I said quietly, my voice not as strong as I would have liked it to have been. “I'm so very sorry for the way I've been treating you. It hasn't been fair. I've walled myself up so far that I didn't want to think that I was doing anything wrong, but I was. I was hurting you two. Can you ever forgive me?”

Again, they exchanged a surprised look between themselves before looking back at me. It was George who spoke first. “Maggie, I'm the one who played you wrong,” he said. “You've nothing to be sorry for at all.”

“Yes, I do! I've been so busy being angry about what happened, so busy distancing myself and pretending that nothing matters, that I've gotten lost in the game. I slept with your friend. I didn't do that for revenge, at least not consciously. I know that had to have hurt, though, and it wasn't fair to you.” I looked between them, seeking some sort of understanding. “I don't know if there's anything I can really do to make up for that, and I wouldn't expect you to forgive it. But I needed to tell you that I regret it. I regret blocking you two out of my life, and I want you to know--”

The rest of my words were cut off as George pulled me into a fierce hug, his arms wrapping around me protectively. I stared blankly into the red of his sweater for a moment, trying to understand what was happening now.

“You've nothing to be sorry for, luv,” he whispered hoarsely, his voice vibrating through his chest and against my cheek. “I just... I don't care about any of that. I honestly never thought you'd look at me again after what's happened. I didn't want to really believe that I'd lost you forever.”

The pain in his voice was raw, shocking me a little. The strength of his arms was almost crushing, and it took a few moments before I felt strong enough to wrap my arms around him as well. I stood quite still, listening to the frantic beating of his heart.

“George,” I choked out, tears sliding down my cheeks. “I'm so sorry.” And just like that, I was back in the waterworks, at least trying to keep the sobs quiet. “I couldn't live with myself if something happened with You-Know-Who and I was still keeping you away.”

George rubbed my back, his hands strong and soothing. “Hush, luv,” he whispered. “It's all right. It's all right.”

After a few moments, I gently pulled away and looked at Fred, who was standing by awkwardly. I reached out to him. When he took my hand, I stepped up to him and wrapped him up in my arms.

“Fred, I'm sorry,” I sobbed again.

He held me almost as tightly as George had. “Maggie, you're all right,” he said softly. “Seeing you again's been all I could think about. This is more than I could have hoped for. Luv, please don't cry.”

I chuckled and tried to get hold of myself. Slowly pulling back, I wiped my face. “Sorry. It's—it's been a hard day. Come on, let's sit down.”

We all moved towards the couch, and I sat between them, pulling my legs under myself. It still felt like too much to have them here with me.

“So why are you here?” I asked. “I admit, I admire your persistence. Both of you.”

The twins exchanged looks, but it was George who spoke. “Well, that's why we came,” he said, and he pulled something out of his pocket, then held it out to me. “We found it.”

I stared at the small photo-like object. It didn't look like anything special, just like a photo frame. “What?” I asked in disbelief. “This is it?”

George nodded solemnly, relieved. “Just got hold of it a little while ago. Came straight over.”

“Where was it? Where did you find it?”

Fred emitted something like a laugh before he answered. “That's the thing of it. Our sister, Ginny, had it the whole time.”

I stared at him, mortified. “Your sister?” I squeaked. “You mean, she-she...”

George squirmed a little uncomfortably. “Well... I think she has seen it. Actually, I'm quite certain she has, otherwise she wouldn't have done what she has.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

Fred rolled his shoulders, a look on his face mixing between embarrassment and pride. “I suppose Ginny overhead us talking about it, and managed to get hold of it when we weren't looking.”

“That's when she started hexing us at every opportunity,” George continued. “She's absolutely furious. Bloody hell, I had no idea our little sister had that kind of strength in her.”

“Been sending us Howlers almost every day. Which reminds me, have you received any letters from her?”

Still in shock over the fact that Ginny, their younger sister, had seen the video, I shook my head. “No, not for some time,” I replied distantly. “Um, I was going to find out if everything was all right.”

Nodding solemnly, George said, “Ginny's all right. She told us that if we didn't make things right with you, then she'd, well, I honestly never thought she had that sort of an imagination on her. She came up with some very creative scenarios.”

“Too right,” Fred said, looking slightly dazed. “ Anyhow, she decided to hang on to it for us. Even took it to Hogwarts with her, just to drive us completely knackered looking for it. She finally sent us an owl asking if we were missing anything and that she'd give it back if we had tried to make amends with you. You can wager she'll be checking in soon, as we told her we were coming here straightaway.”

I leaned back against the couch, stunned. So many horrible scenarios had played through my mind as to where it had gone, who had seen it, and how many men might knock on my door. I felt a little fevered at the idea of Ginny seeing that. Reckon that answered her question as to whom I was shagging, but oh my lady, to have her see it...

“What she must think of me,” I whispered, shaking my head.

George touched my arm tentatively. “Maggie, she doesn't think you the worse for it,” he assured. “Believe me, we're the ones she's brassed off at. Ginny actually seems to be quite fond of you, been defending you every step of the way.”

I couldn't meet their eyes. “How can she not hate me now?” I whispered. “And what if your parents find out?”

Fred placed a careful hand on my back in reassurance. “Believe me, Maggie, Ginny won't hold this against you. From the way she said, she knew you were shagging one of us, she just didn't know which one. I suppose this helps put her mind at ease a bit.”

“And our parents won't find out about it,” George said. “Ginny doesn't want anyone else finding out about this thing any more than any of us do. Trust me, luv, she'll keep the secret.”

All I could think about was how it felt a bit like a betrayal to Ginny. She and I were co-conspirators, perhaps on the way to becoming friends. I was thankful that she had intercepted the video before it got into anyone else's hands. One more little disaster to deal with. I was sure it would not be a pleasant conversation with her.

Reaching out, I took hold of the frame. As I held it, a fog seemed to clear over the surface of the picture. In an instant, I was watching myself and George going at it like animals, the angle a very strange one and I couldn't help wondering how on earth he had managed it. Fortunately for me, it was silent. At least, as far as I knew.

All I could do was stare at it for several moments. For the past few weeks, this very thing had been the source of discord in my life, and now I held it in my hands. And as I stared at it, I realized once again that my brother had been right. It wasn't as big a deal as I had thought. It was... strange... to say the least, watching myself on video, more or less. Sure made me think about how many times I had wondered how I looked during the act; well, now I knew.

Looking up, I found both Fred and George watching me with anxious expressions. I gave them a small smile. “Thank you,” I said softly. “Thank you for getting this back.”

George squirmed a little, looking as if he had a very uncomfortable question to ask. “Maggie,” he began, fidgeting. “Um, I guess I wanted to know if you're still angry.”

For a second I just looked at him, and shook my head. “No. I'm not angry anymore.”

Fred cast a surreptitious look at his twin before looking back at me. “So, where does this leave us, Maggie?” he asked cautiously.

His question was an interesting one, to say the least. I knew that I had wondered too what would happen if we got this situation resolved. I let my face remain carefully neutral as I asked, “What would you like to see happen?”

There seemed to be an invisible conversation going on between the twins as they glanced at each other once more. They did that a lot, I had noticed. Guess it was a twin thing. At last, Fred said, “Well, I think we'd both like to keep seeing you. Neither one of us minds. Of course, it all depends on what you would like.”

George nodded. “We don't want to make you uncomfortable, Maggie. Never have.”

At that, I chuckled. “You think us seeing each other before made me uncomfortable at all? Where were you two when I was tormenting the both of you? Did I seem uncomfortable then?”

Each one broke into a smile, and I could practically see the memories rolling in their heads.

Taking each one of their hands, I said, “Look. I've never promised any sort of commitment, don't even have any idea what a relationship like that would be like. But, I know this. You two make me laugh more than anyone else ever has. I love being with each one of you. It's like... you bring out that mischievous side of me. The other one,” I said pointedly, when the twins both chortled knowingly. “The one that doesn't reside in the bedroom. And I already have that one, thank you very much.”

Sighing, I continued. “This whole thing has made me realize that I can be more than a little self-involved, which is not necessarily a good thing. I'm always going to be independent, and I'm always going to have roving eyes. Quite frankly, I don't expect anything less from either of you. If I can't say yes I'll be dedicated, then I wouldn't expect either of you two to do it. I want to keep seeing you. Both of you.” I shrugged. “And we'll see how it goes.”

The twins considered this. I wondered what else went on in those heads that they never mentioned to the rest of the world.

George brought my hand to his cheek, and snuggled with it. “Sounds like a brilliant idea, luv,” he said, meeting my eyes. “I'd never ask you to chain yourself to one of us if you weren't comfortable.”

“Neither would I,” Fred put in, stroking my other hand. “I'm willing to try any arrangement that's suitable for you.”

Their agreeableness made me take pause, again wondering how on earth two men like these had found me in their busy lives. I hadn't expected them to forgive me quite so easily, and now we were talking about the three of us continuing to see one another.

Nodding absently, I leaned against the couch, content in the knowledge that things were going to be all right. At least, for now.

“And as for my wandering eyes?” I queried.

They exchanged a look between them. It was Fred who spoke. “So long as those eyes come back to wander over me, I won't complain,” he answered cheekily.

I chortled. “Cheeky fuck,” I teased.