The Most Difficult Of All Our Tasks

-- OK, I'm quite close to begging here. Please let me know what you think! Poor Harry is a bit upset.



Chapter the Nineteenth – Dealing



Severus Snape-Potter was pregnant. He hated that this was so, but it was. It had taken nearly a week for the truth to sink in, and now he was aware of slight changes in his body; aware of the life growing within him; aware too of some … alteration in Harry.



After he had accepted the fact of his pregnancy, he and his husband had discussed what would happen in the future. Although he hadn’t liked it, Severus had agreed to approach Minerva McGonagall about allowing Harry to take his classes in his place. It had been the younger man who had pointed out how dangerous it might be for the child if a potion went wrong.



So, Severus had spoken to his boss, and Harry had arranged a meeting. It had made the Slytherin feel odd, staying at home whilst his husband went out; staying behind and looking after the two boys.



***



“Harry! How lovely to see you!” The elderly Scottish witch smiled broadly at the young man standing before her. “Do, please, sit down,” she said before drawing out her wand, “tea?”



Harry shook his head. He didn’t want to delay this discussion, for a number of reasons. The first, of course, was that he didn’t wish to leave Severus for too long; he had discovered a very possessive streak now that he knew his husband was pregnant. He also felt deeply sad being in the room that had been Dumbledore’s for so long. Even with the changes McGonagall had made (a large amount of tartan chief amongst them), it was still a room that reminded him of the dead head teacher.



“Professor,” he began, but she interrupted him at once.



“Oh, dear, Minerva, please,”



“Minerva,” Harry corrected, “I know Severus asked you for this meeting with me, and he told me he hadn’t explained why.” He waited for her nod of confirmation before continuing, “Severus is pregnant.” He ignored her gasp of surprise and continued, “I wondered if it would be possible for me to take his classes whilst he is carrying the child, as I’m sure you’re aware of just how delicate the life within him is. I’d hate to lose him or her because of a clumsy student.”



Minerva nodded. “I understand. Please allow me a moment to think.”



Harry nodded and looked about the room, deliberately avoiding the wall where he knew Dumbledore’s portrait would be. His eyes roamed over Phinneas Nigellus’ picture, and lingered on Severus’ – after all, he had been Head of Hogwarts, no matter how briefly. Harry smiled slightly, remembering the teachers’ awkward apologies after Voldemort’s defeat. He frowned. It hadn’t been long after that that he had retreated from himself, had created a new persona.



And look at what has happened!



The Headmistress cleared her throat. “I think that for the lower years it is an admirable idea. However, what of years five to seven? Don’t think I’m being rude when I say that they need a potions expert to teach them.”



“Oh, I agree,” Harry responded, mind dragged back to the present. “I will have an expert with me. An old potions books that really helped me get to grips with potion making when I was in my last year here.”



“Hmm, yes, during your sixth year” McGonagall said, brows drawn together, “Harry, there is one problem, you never finished your education. How can I, in all conscience, allow any of my pupils to be taught by someone who never took NEWTs? Both Mr Weasley and Miss Granger – as she was then – returned and completed their formal education. I can quite understand why you felt the need to hide, but it does create a problem.”



“I know I lack the qualifications. But Severus would never have allowed me to even talk with you had he thought I was incapable of teaching his subject to an acceptable standard.” He smiled. “You know what he’s like.”



“Indeed I do!” she responded with feeling. “Very well, Mr Potter, sorry, Mr Potter-Snape, we will straighten any kinks in our wands later. But for now, welcome aboard!”



Harry smiled gratefully at her before flooing back to his home and to his waiting husband.



“Well?” Severus asked as Harry came bouncing out of the fireplace.



“Ow!” He complained, standing up and rubbing his sore bottom. “How come you can do that so gracefully?”



“Years of practice.” the older man said impatiently, “Well?”



“Very well.” Harry looked about the room. “Where are the boys?”



Severus looked at his husband, a slight smile lifting one side of his mouth, “Asleep.”



“Oh?” Harry looked about the room and was abruptly aware of the quiet. He smiled tentatively at his husband. “Oh. I see. And yet you are still not touching me?”



Severus leaned in and pulled the other to him, pressing his hard length against Harry’s thigh. He breathed on the younger man’s neck.



Harry shuddered with pleasure. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”



***



Severus lay on his back, gasping for breath. The swell of his stomach was noticeable, to him and Harry anyway. The younger man rested on his side, looking at the Potion Master’s belly with an odd expression on his face.



“What is it?” Severus asked softly.



The other shook his head. “Nothing,” he lied, “just thinking about names for this one.”



“Any suggestions?”



Harry frowned. It felt weird, discussing the child’s name with the person who had helped create it. His previous two children had been his responsibility. Lucius had had a name picked out, but had neglected to mention it to Harry, not that he would have used it anyway. Now he had the other father to talk with and share thoughts with. It felt strange.



“You should decide.” He stated. “I chose for Croft and Daniel. You should select this one’s name.”



Severus shook his head, one hand gently stroking his bump. “It’s our child and our decision.” He declared.



“But it was a mistake!” Harry cried, distressed. “This was meant to be about getting sexual relief, not expanding the family. It’s just making it harder to divorce as we’ll have three children whose lives we’ll mess up!”



Severus glared. “This one,” he rubbed his stomach, “was an accident, but NOT a mistake. I will never think of this child as unwanted. If that is how you feel, Harry, you should leave now.”



“I can’t!” Harry shouted. “You know I can’t. Three years minimum, and we’re not even close.”



“The Ministry would do anything you asked, if you nagged them enough. You know they would.” Severus sneered. “Don’t worry about the rules, Potter, don’t let them apply to you. Just blithely do what you like and sod the consequences for the rest of us!”



Harry leapt out of the bed and pulled a blanket around himself. “Sod the consequences?!” He snarled. “I’ve just said that your child makes it harder for me to go. I AM thinking about the consequences, Severus. Sadly I didn’t do so before the wedding!” He turned away, bending for his clothes. Anger coursed through him as he snatched them up.

Harry reached the door, only to find it blocked by his thoroughly pissed off husband, wrapped only in a sheet, like himself.



“MY child?!” Severus ground out. “This child is yours too. We’re both its parents. It will need us both in the future.”



Harry made an “error” noise, like an angry wasp. “Wrong! It needs one parent. The one who gave birth to it. The other guy is superfluous. My job is done now. You’re the one who’ll carry it. You’re the one who’ll feed it, love it, be the one it turns to first when it cries. I’m the secondary guy. You’ll have a relationship with it I’ll NEVER have. It’ll always be closer to you, Severus. Always.”



Stunned, Severus stared at his husband. Harry was utterly convinced of the truth of his statement, but completely wrong. A light dawned in the older man’s brain.



“This is why you’ve been odd around me, isn’t it?” He said, almost gently, “You’re jealous that I’m carrying the child, not you.”



Harry shook his head defiantly, but tears stood in his eyes.



“It’s OUR child, Harry. Croft has a close relationship with you because he’s known you longer, but he loves me as well, I know he does. And Daniel doesn’t react differently to me.” Severus reached out a hand, but drew it back as if unsure how the other would respond. “This child will only behave differently towards you if it feels you don’t love it or want it.” He paused before asking the key question: “Do you feel you don’t love it, or don’t want it?”



The silence in the room was broken only by Harry trying to sniff away his runny nose.

He shook his head, not looking up.



Severus felt the breath leave him, but had to be sure. “Is that no, you don’t love it or no, you do love it?”



Harry sobbed, “It’s not mine, Severus. It won’t belong to me. You’ll have had nine months experience with it that I’ll never know. I felt Croft and Daniel growing in me, felt them becoming people. I could almost tell you the exact moment they used magic for the first time. I felt it. But I’ll never know that one, not like I know my boys.”



He bent his head, chest heaving.



Severus threw caution to the wind and put an arm around the other. “I’m sorry you can’t experience those things Harry, but you’ll still be its father, still know it, see it grow. And,” he added, “we can discuss the things that I’ve felt so that you’ll know how it’s getting along.” He squeezed the other tighter for a moment. “This will be our child in a way that Croft and Dan haven’t been. We’ll be there for each other. Won’t we?”

It took a while, but finally Harry nodded.



Now all I need him to do, Severus thought, is commit to making our marriage work. It never will if he’s convinced he’s leaving.



-- Again, off stage sex - sorry! But I find sex scenes very difficult to write; there is a limit to how many times you can use the word "cock" wihtout becoming silly!

-- As a teaser, the next chapter is called Playacting and includes some nice subtle plot development! If only the boys would obey me! SP