It's About Time

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of JK Rowling's amazing characters. I am merely borrowing them.


Chapter Nineteen.

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Hermione felt herself regaining consciousness as the effects of the Dreamless Sleep Potion began to subside. She shifted slightly beneath the stiff hospital sheets and winced as her body ached with the effort.

She sensed the vacant darkness around her before she even opened her eyes. The moonlight streamed through the open window above her bed and cast its silvery light upon the opposite wall. How long she had been sleeping was anyone’s guess, but it was clear she had lost at least another day to her unconscious state.

Her mouth was extremely dry. She tried to swallow, but her throat felt raw.

“Healer Bliss?” She tried to call but not a sound came from her parched throat.

She needed water.

Her muscles screamed with resistance as she pushed herself up to a sitting position and looked around for her wand so she might conjure herself a glass of water.

The wand was not in plain sight as far as she could make out in the shadowy room. She had no idea where her belongings had been placed and began to fear that her wand had been left behind at Hogwarts… twenty-two years ago at Hogwarts.

An armoire near the door looked promising but in her weakened state the distance from her bed to the wardrobe seemed overwhelming. Her body was already aching to lay back down, her eyelids drooping. The feeling of losing control of her will and her body scared her. Ever independent, it pained her to be unable to care for herself.

She licked her lips dryly and, with as much determination as she could muster, she slid forward until her feet hit the cold stone floor. Bracing herself on the bed rails, she shifted her weight to her feet and rose to stand on her unsteady legs.

The month of immobility had weakened her every muscle and as the blood rushed to her lower limbs, she shivered, realizing how little warmth the thin, cotton hospital gown provided.

She held her breath and, with her right foot, took one shaky step forward. Gripping the rail more tightly, she stepped with her left foot; then another two steps. Slowly, she crossed the room, and seized the wardrobe handles to balance herself as soon as they were within reach. The doors swung open easily and she was pleased to find the familiar jeans and sweater she had been wearing hanging before her.

She squinted into the cupboard but did not see her wand anywhere. She felt around the few shelves in the darkness. Empty. It was not in the pocket of her jeans either. Her wand was gone.

Reaching for the sweater, she hoped there was a pocket in the woolen garment she may have missed. Involuntarily, she thought back on everything that had happened the last time she had worn it. She remembered it being singed when she had cursed Alecto Carrow. She remembered marring the midnight blue wool to wipe blood from a cut on her shoulder. The stain still remained on the sleeve, she noticed, feeling it lightly.

Then she remembered Sirius pulling the sweater over her head feverishly before they had finally and completely been together, as one. She remembered the garment lying in a heap of discarded clothing beside the bed. She remembered frantically grabbing the sweater and pulling it back on when she and Sirius bolted out the door to the fight awaiting them below.

Before she could stop herself, she gathered the fabric in her fists and brought it to her face, breathing in the scent deeply. Her body flushed with warmth at the sensations evoked by the smell. It smelled of him… an indescribable natural musk that bore hints of faded cologne and… just him.

The search for her wand fruitless and her desire for water forgotten, Hermione clung to the sweater. She pulled it from its hanger and distractedly returned to her bed.

Curling up beneath the sheets, she hugged the sweater to her chest and closed her eyes.

She breathed him in again. And again.

Imagining Sirius was fast beside her as she fell back into the relief of slumber.

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“James is worried, I know, but Sirius refuses to discuss it.”

“Yes, Remus said the same. And Sirius can be so… so… stubborn. I ought to know, he is my cousin.”

Lily smiled in agreement as she poured a second cup of tea for herself and Tonks, as she still heartily insisted on being called though her last name was now ‘Lupin’. As was habit, the women and their husbands had gathered at the Potter’s London estate on the cool Sunday afternoon.

Beyond the kitchen window, Lily could see James and Remus seated outside on the grounds, speaking earnestly to one another. Missing from their small party today was Sirius, as he had been every Sunday since Hermione’s return. He never left St. Mungo’s.

“Stubborn is only one part of Sirius’ problem, I’m afraid,” Lily sighed. “James said he would go to the hospital later tonight to speak to him. Harry is there now with Ron and Ginny visiting Hermione.”

“Oh!” Tonks winced suddenly and put a hand to her swollen belly. “Ugh… That was a big one,” she breathed heavily as the pain began to subside.

Lily jumped from her seat and reached out towards the younger woman.

“What is it? Not a contraction, you aren’t due for another – ”

“No, no, it’s alright,” Tonks assured her. “Just a swift kick, I think. He tends to grow more energetic near the full moon… just like his father.”

The women shared a knowing laugh.

“I told you that the full moon would likely affect the baby’s activity levels.”

“And you were right to warn me! There are nights that I am positive I am carrying an entire Quidditch team inside me,” Tonks teased sarcastically.

“Let’s hope not,” Lily laughed gently. “You keep calling the baby a ‘he’. How can you be so sure it is a boy?”

Tonks shrugged and smiled wistfully to herself. “Just a feeling. I do like the idea of a miniature Remus though. Can’t you picture it?”

“Oh yes, he will be adorable. Just like Harry, he looks so like James.”

Tonks grinned and shifted her eyes to the two men talking outside.

“Sirius will come around. He’s a Black, we’re very resilient,” she said to assure them both that their husbands needn’t worry.

Lily’s downcast eyes were not convincing but she straightened her back and nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“You are a terrible liar, Lily,” Tonks said with concern. “What is it?”

“It’s just – You were so young, you probably don’t remember how he was after she left. It was ages before he was himself again and I’m afraid we may not be able to get him back this time.”

“Oh. Remus has told me a bit. I know he’s said that he and, um, Nadine, were living with him then, after you all finished school.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. It was always somewhat awkward for her to speak about Nadine, Remus’ first love and one-time fiancée.

“Yes... that’s right,” Lily drifted off as she thought back to all those years before. She spoke softly as though she was afraid speaking loudly would make the past real again, it was safer to tread lightly. “The day that Hermione left there was a huge fight at Hogwarts. It was awful. James was… he was… Crucio’d.”

“Oh my god,” Tonks gasped. “I didn’t know.”

“It was horrible. Sirius was hurt as well, pretty badly. He was unconscious for nearly an hour. There was so much commotion. When he finally came to, he kept asking for Hermione but she had gone… 

disappeared into thin air amidst the chaos. I guess she had told James earlier that day that she was going to leave Hogwarts so we all just assumed- ”

“That she’d left on her own? On purpose?”

“Without saying goodbye to Sirius,” Lily affirmed.

“Didn’t he try to look for her?”

“He didn’t have to, as it turned out. It seems Dumbledore had known all along that Hermione had been from the future and he figured out that she had returned to her own time. He told James and Sirius everything when they informed him that Hermione was missing.”

“Merlin, how did Sirius take the news?”

“He was a wreck. Dumbledore said that he couldn’t be sure from how far in the future Hermione had come but that he was certain she was safe, wherever she was.”

“So, Sirius didn’t think he would ever see her again?”

“None of us knew for sure and Dumbledore only said so much. Hermione had left a note that seemed to suggest we would meet again but when and where… there was no way to tell.”

“How awful for him,” Tonks said. “He must have been devastated.”

“He just shut off,” Lily said with sad recollection. “After graduation he went to live at Godric’s Hollow with James’ family and he was just… lifeless. It was nearly a year before he would even speak about her. I think the next time any of us saw him genuinely smile was at James’ and my wedding. After that he moved into a flat with Remus and Nadine in London, began his Auror training and, well, it was a long time before he was himself again.”

Tonks bit her lip and looked down at the table. “But- he… he must’ve gotten over it… he didn’t stay ‘shut off’.”

“It wasn’t until Harry was born that the old Sirius really started to shine through again. Being a Godfather became the most important thing in his life.”

“That I remember,” Tonks smiled faintly. “I was very young, but I do remember that Sirius was always bursting with pride at Harry’s every accomplishment.”

Lily beamed at the memory.

“Oh yes, Sirius has always been like a second father to Harry. He had so much to distract him during that year that, at least to some extent, he was able to put Hermione from his mind.” The smile faded from her delicate features. “After that, everything just happened so fast. We learned about the prophecy; that Voldemort was going to try to kill Harry. Then … we lost Nadine and Peter, he- he died protecting Harry. It is still so awful to think about that night.”

The two women fell into a contemplative silence. Lily stirred her tea somberly, the clinks of the teaspoon on the porcelain glass chimed loudly in the otherwise quiet kitchen.

Tonks glanced at a photo of Harry, Ron and Hermione that hung on a wall above the stove and a question occurred to her. She cleared her throat.

“Lily, how did Sirius react when he found out that Hermione was at school with Harry? I mean, he must’ve been… I don’t even know what he must have felt.”

“I don’t think he even knew what to feel. I think part of him was devastated, knowing that they would never be able to be together, her being so young, and the other part was intrigued, he wanted to know everything he could about her, about who she was before she came into our lives.”

“That sounds… complicated,” Tonks said with a furrowed brow.

“It was,” Lily admitted. “I still remember the shock at receiving the owl from Harry that year telling James and me all about his new friend, Hermione Granger. He called her a “know-it-all”, we knew immediately it was our Hermione.”

Tonks raised her eyebrows and giggled. “That does sound like her, brilliant girl.”

“Yes,” Lily grinned back at her. “We were delighted that Hermione was turning out to be such a wonderful friend to Harry, but we had no idea how to tell Sirius. James finally told him just before Harry came home from school that first year. We knew it was only a matter of time before Harry – ”

“Someone say my name?” Said a voice from the doorway.

Lily and Tonks both jumped as Harry walked into the kitchen.

“Harry! You startled us,” Lily said uneasily, not knowing how much of the conversation he had heard. “Did you need something? Are you all set to go back to Hogwarts tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah,” He nodded.

Dumbledore had allowed Harry, Ginny and Ron to return to London for a couple of days to see Hermione and they were due to go back the next day. He had only four months to go before he would be finished at Hogwarts. The past year had been trying, with Hermione disappearing and Voldemort growing ever stronger. All the more reason he was eagerly anticipating beginning his Auror training program. He would be properly equipped then to face the most evil wizard of all time.

Harry ran a hand through his messy hair and looked at his father and Remus who were heading back towards the house from the yard.

“Mum, I – ”

“Hello, son,” James, just coming into the kitchen with Remus, greeted his only child with a clap on the back. “Remus was just saying that he will be seeing you back to school tomorrow. He’ll activate a portkey to leave first thing.”

“Fine, I just – ”

“And don’t forget to pack your sweaters,” Lily added. “It will be cold at sch –”

“Mum!” His abrupt interruption silenced Lily. He took a deep breath and spoke with restrained irritation, “I’m sorry, I just – ”

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” She asked, her brow creased with concern.

Harry looked accusingly between his parents and the Lupins.

“I just want to know when exactly you all were planning to tell me about Sirius and Hermione?”

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As was becoming routine, Hermione felt herself emerging from sleep in the middle of the night. It was plain to her that it was nighttime as the hospital was only so still in the small hours of the morning.

But this night, something was different. The ward’s usual silence was being interrupted by voices from just outside her room. Though they spoke in hushed tones, two men seemed to be arguing.

Hermione raised her head slightly to train her ears on the voices.

“If you aren’t even going to speak to her then why don’t you just go home?”

“Dumbledore’s orders, remember?”

“Quit using Dumbledore as an excuse. I heard him tell you himself that you needed to get some rest. If you’re so concerned about her wellbeing, then I will stay tonight in your place.”

“No.”

It was Sirius. She recognized that sound instantly. His voice was unmistakable. He had finally come! Hermione’s heartbeat began to race and she pushed herself up as quickly as she could manage.

“She’s been awake and the healers say she will recover in due time. I remained quiet for the entire month you camped out in this hospital after she’d returned but there is no reason for you to stay now, especially if you aren’t going to see her when she’s awake!”

She recognized the other voice as James… and he was angry. Hermione stood on unstable legs and leaning on the rails, once again made her way across her room, towards the door. Her only guiding thought was that she had to reach him. If he had been to see her when she was asleep then she wouldn’t miss him now when she was finally awake to greet him.

“It’s late. You should go home,” Sirius said with apparent resignation.

“Look who’s talking. And don’t try to change the subject. She was asking for you, Sirius! We can’t avoid her questions forever. What are we supposed to tell her?”

“Tell her whatever you like.”

Hermione halted. The edge in Sirius’ voice was clear and cold.

“I won’t lie to her. She’s been through enough.”

“Then don’t lie.”

“You want I should tell her the truth? That you refuse to speak to her? That you’re a stubborn arse who won’t listen to reason?”

“Like I said, tell her what you like.”

None of what was being said made any sense to Hermione. What reason would Sirius have to not want to see her? Hadn’t he been yearning for her just as she had for him? Hermione again began moving slowly towards the sliver of light coming in from the doorway.

“Will you listen to yourself? This is Hermione we’re talking about, for Merlin’s sake! Just let her see you. Let her see that you’re alright. She’s worried for you.”

“No.”

Hermione could now make out their silhouettes through the slightly ajar door.

“The last time she saw you, Sirius, she thought you were dead. She is only going to sit idly by for so long before she starts asking more questions.”

James’ plea was met with a chilly silence from his lifelong friend, who frostily averted his gaze.

“Dammit, Sirius! The poor girl was torn away from her friends and family and sent to a foreign time only to be ripped away again. Imagine how she must be feeling right now.”

Stretching out her arm, Hermione’s fingertips grazed the doorframe. She whispered his name but it went unnoticed in James’ outburst.

“How she must be feeling?! How SHE- What about me?!”

James sighed and when he spoke, his voice was calm.

“She deserves an explanation. You owe her that.”

“Sirius?” Hermione spoke weakly from the doorway.

The two men froze.

Hermione took one step into the hallway, her delicate figure bathed in the dull light of the hospital corridor. Her angelic expression marred with uncertainty, she trained her gaze on Sirius’ face as she finally laid eyes upon him after wishing for him for so long.

Against the light she couldn’t see his expression… not at first, only the glitter in his jet dark eyes. But as she became adjusted to the brightness, every familiar feature was revealed to her. The high slash of cheekbones, the aristocratic nose, and the slightly forbidding mouth which failed to softened as he took in the sight of her.

He clenched his teeth, squaring his jaw and shifted his stare back to James.

“I don’t owe her anything,” He said stiffly. Without another glance in Hermione’s direction, he turned and exited the hospital ward, leaving James gaping at his retreating figure.

Hermione’s very breath was wrenched from her lungs and her legs gave out beneath her. She called out Sirius’ name once more but it was James, not Sirius, who caught her before her defeated body collided with the ground.

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