Dear Lily *COMPLETE*

Dear Lily



The cleaning though therapeutic in a way, did not do what it was supposed to do. And that was ease the worry in my mind about what Hermione was doing right now. Voldemort has some very odd ways sometimes about marrying people, and one of them especially was not very nice, she might have that way or he might actually do it properly. I was sat in the library not feeling very optimistic, a bottle of Firewhiskey and soda in my hand when someone walked in.



It was Ronald. He gave me a look and walked around a bit and then after some uncomfortable pacing he sat down.



"I have a confession to make," he said.



"What is it?" I asked.



"You do know I love Hermione, don't you?"



"I observed more than you think and I did get that somewhere along the line," I replied.



"So, why did you take her away from me?" he asked bluntly.



"I didn't," I replied. "I just fell in love with her myself."



"But why?” He asked. “You're a Slytherin and she's not."



I looked at the boy again.



"Ronald, not all Slytherins hate muggleborns you know," I said. "Don't go making the mistake that all Slytherins are like Draco Malfoy."



"So, why don't they speak out?"



"They do but it is very quiet we're snakes, and snakes make barely a whisper; it's just the way we are. Lions are quite loud creatures."



"Name one Slytherin who's all right?"



"None of us are all right either, if we were all right we would be put in other houses it's just some of us aren't as bad as others."



"Oh yeah," he was sceptical.



"If I was as bad as Draco Malfoy would I be sitting here with you? If I truly believed in the pureblood ideal would I have felt shame and guilt over what I done? But I am still a Slytherin in that I am out for what I could get, and a little selfish. For instance, I wanted Hermione and I did all I could to make her want me, I've even changed colour robes."



"So, you truly love her then?" he asked.



"Yes I do Ronald," I said. "I'm sorry."



He nodded and then got up and poured himself a drink.



"Well," he sighed and walked out of the room.



I decided to go out into the garden, or field or whatever it was. The Malfoy Mansion had carefully laid out lawn and well placed shrubs, but this was the Black garden, more a tumble of weeds, and trees so entwined with branch and twig that it was an absolute mess. There was a beauty about the decay I suppose but it was rather a dark beauty. I looked at my watch and heard a thump in the bushes and someone saying ouch.



It was Hermione. She walked out and looked a complete mess. Her eyes were black and she was pale. She saw me and ran to my arms.



"What's the matter?" I asked as she wept uncontrollably. I rubbed her back gently but she winced.



"I've been Crucio’d," she explained. "Once and that was enough, my new Master did it to make sure I toe the line in future."



”You're a Death Eater now then?" I asked.



She broke from my embrace and rolled up her sleeve on her right arm and I saw it. The Mark. Staring out stark black on her golden skin. Like an ugly tattoo.



"And that's not all," she said. "I am married now; I am now Hermione Greyback."



"You'll always be Hermione Granger to me," I said.



"I would prefer to be Hermione Snape."



I smiled and walked up to her wanting so much to kiss her and make her feel better. I drew her in my arms and tilted my head to kiss her but she drew back. She looked as if she wanted it but there was the haunted look in her eyes.



"I can't Severus," she said. "I want to but I can't."



"Why not?" I asked. "Come on, Mia!"



"No please, Severus, I can't."



'Please Severus,' I hated that phrase now. It was Dumbledore's last words to me, as a human. Now she was saying it.



"Damn Greyback," I said. "You don't love him!"



"Of course I don't but there are other reasons," she said.



"What other reason, look married couples kiss other people all the time."



"Other married couples only have a wedding ring to bind them and not a -!"



I felt sick. I couldn't believe what this poor woman had to go through tonight and I baulked at a little cleaning. She didn't have to finish her sentence. I knew exactly how Voldemort had married her off.



"Why don't you come inside and speak to Harry?"



"I need to speak to as many people as I can," she said. "Just call a meeting! I'd rather get it all over with at once."



I led her inside holding her hand. She seemed jumpy having any form of contact with me. She walked around to the Library and asked me to gather people into the Library. I went to Harry's room, he was talking to Ronald.



"I can't help it Harry," he said.



"You don't have to do anything so drastic Ron."



"She loves him and not me."



"Yeah, Ron, she cares for you to."



"Look Harry he loves her," he said. "I was watching him very carefully, he didn't think and he didn't pause he said it straight out! No Harry, let me do what I want to do please?"



"We'll talk about this later," he said.



I knocked on the door.



"Who is it?" Harry asked.



"It's Severus," I said. "She's come back."



I heard a shuffle of sheets and clothes, Harry opened the door and Ronald soon followed. He looked at me again and not with feelings of happiness either.



"Where is she?" Harry asked.



"In the Library, get as many people in there as soon as possible."



Harry and Ronald nodded.



**************************************************



"Right," Hermione said standing up with great effort she was still in great pain.



"Now that we're all here," Ginny said. Everyone laughed.



"I have something to tell you which is very important. As you know earlier this evening Fenrir called and like I promised I answered. When I got to where he was, which was Fenley Gray Manor, the home of my esteemed Dark Sister Bellatrix," she said the last four words with dry sarcasm. "She was waiting my arrival with a dress in her hand, she said she knew I wouldn't look decent for so great an occasion. I stood in her bedroom whilst she dressed me and made me up and did my hair and as she was doing this she said things like I should be proud of what I was going to do tonight, she said that I should feel privileged, she said that if I played my cards right I could replace Narcissa as her sister, and she said I had more sense than her stupid not-missed cousin Sirius.



Anyway when I was dressed and ready and preened. Voldemort wanted a chat with me himself before the ceremony. He looked me up and down and grinned a snakelike grin and said 'very pretty, very pretty!' he walked up to me and then pushed the sleeve up of my dress. 'This is to make sure I know where you are.' I replied that I was a Gryffindor. 'That gives me less reason to trust you, Miss Granger!' He placed the tip of his wand on my arm and said something in Parseltongue and as he continued speaking a burning sensation shot through my arm. When he finished I looked down and there the Mark was, shining iridescently black on my skin like oil after a rainfall.



Afterwards he let me sit down. 'Right there are more than one way to get married, the only sure way I can make sure that my followers don't misbehave at gatherings when drunk is by making sure they take something called the Unbreakable Vow. You know how the Unbreakable Vow works don't you.' I nodded and said 'Yes Sir!' 'Good now Fenrir Greyback is waiting apprehensively for his bride.' He noticed me look down on the carpet. 'You're just as apprehensive about this now are you?' 'Yes Sir!' I answered. 'After all I am only eighteen.' He smiled and his red eyes glowed. 'I like your fear I can almost smell it, Miss Granger, do you know how sweet the smell of fear is?' I shook my head mutely. After that he let Fenrir in who sloped in and looked at me with such animal liking my heart started beating furiously. Both of them could smell my fear and by the cold smiles on their faces I could tell they liked it.



He told me to get up and go on the floor on my knees, I quickly obeyed and Fenrir stood over taking his grimy hand in mine, he then set out the terms. One of them I can't do, so I am already dead."



"What were the terms?" Harry asked.



"There were three and he said them in order of importance to him. Let's see now

1) To Love and Honour Fenrir

2) To stay loyal to Fenrir and to be a good wife and mother to future children

and this is the one I simply cannot do!

3) To turn in Harry and to be as loyal as any Death Eater!"



The group was stunned.



"Can't we change the conditions?" Harry asked.



"You know perfectly well Harry that once you're bound to the Unbreakable Vow that's it." Arthur said.



"I wanted to prevent this remember," I said. "I knew what might happen and I wanted to stop it!"



"There was nothing you could have done," Hermione said. "After the vow was bound by Voldemort he then pointed his wand at me and said. 'You've been a naughty little girl, Mrs Greyback. Naughty girls need to get smacked!' he raised his wand and I felt a searing all over body and muscular pain. It was the crucio, to make sure I don't carry on being naughty."



"You can't stop being naughty in his eyes," I replied. "You can't see a pattern, you can't say if I follow these rules I'll be safe."



"I know that," Hermione said wearily. "Harry I won't turn you in! I can't!"



"Hermione," Harry said. "You are Mrs Greyback now and a Death Eater and a spy. You have obligations."



"But I can't!"



"You must and you must go back to your husband," Harry said. "We don't want Voldemort's suspicions raised we will send you messages when and how we can."



"Harry, I can't. I can't do this I'm not brave enough!"



"Where did the hat put you Hermione?" Ginny asked.



"Gryffindor," she answered miserably.



"Where dwell the brave at heart

Daring, Nerve and Chivalry set Gryffindors apart!" Neville said.



"But -!"



"No buts, Hermione, you are going to be with Greyback do I make myself clear. I'll deal with everything else." Harry said firmly.



Poor Hermione, I understood her torment at this time, I knew where I would rather be but even I agreed with Harry that Hermione's place was with her husband!



She sighed!



************************************************** ***************



I watched Hermione leave the room and she stormed upstairs in a huff. I decided that I was the only one qualified to deal with this problem.



"I can't do it! I can't! I won't!"



"You have to Hermione, Harry is dependant on you being a spy," I said calmly.



"Did you have things you didn't like doing?"



"Yes," I said. "But you have to do them no matter how unpleasant it is."



"Name an unpleasant thing you were forced to do?"



"I was almost forced to marry Bellatrix but luckily Rodolphus came along and he set us two on a duel."



"For the first time you lost?" she asked.



"Deliberately, Hermione, you think I was that bothered by that cow? I could run rings around Rodolphus. When she found out I deliberately lost she was enraged, she was a proud woman, always has been and she felt hurt that I didn't want to marry her."



"Pride comes before a fall though," she said.



"Yes!" I murmured. "All right Hermione you better go."



She bowed her head.



"I'm scared," she said.



"Nothing wrong with being scared."



She sighed and walked out of her room and just as soon as she walked out of the room she turned around and smiled at me. Her eyes said what her lips could not. I sighed and watched her go. She was gone, and no one knew exactly when we would see her again!



************************************************** ***************



I didn't sleep that night, I couldn't. I went down to the Library and took a decanter of Whiskey, and decided to just gulp it down.



"That won't do you any good you know," Dumbledore said.



"Dumbledore," I sighed. "What do I do?"



"Just let it wash over you, Severus, and drowning your problems in drink is not the right way to go about it."



"Your brother owns a pub," I pointed out.



"Precisely, and it ruined what little intelligence he had left!" I loved the way Albus made fun of Aberforth.



"Which one is older?" I asked.



"Was older, Severus, was older! He was older but slightly less great and some of things he did… I still can't forget about the goats, oh well there's one in every family."



"Yes," I said. "Albus, um, I want to tell you something."



"What?"



"I forgive James Potter," I said.



He frowned.



"I thought you already had done?"



"I lied," I said lowering my eyes. "I wasn't sorry for his death then but now I am."



He looked sternly at me and I found I couldn't look back at him.



"What else did you lie about Severus?" he asked firmly and a little angrily.



"That was it," I said.



"Thank you, Severus," he said. "I was beginning to feel my trust in you was misplaced and I hate being wrong."



"Yes, I am sure you did," I said.



"Right now we got that settled I can go back to the office," he said. "And Severus, no matter how drunk you get the problems are still there when you are sober."



"I know Albus," I said. He left and after that little chat I put the bottle down. He wasn't gone, he wasn't dead, did I really fulfil that part of the vow? I was confused.



************************************************** ***************



"WAKE UP!" Molly yelled roughly shaking me awake, she made yet another of her fantastic breakfasts and we again ate it but we were all miserable.



"What are we going to do today?" I asked Harry.



"We're going to parley with Voldemort," he said.



I spit out some of my coffee.



"Are you crazy?"



"Right at this moment he can't kill me and I can't kill him so we'll talk man-to-man," he replied.



"But don't you understand he won't see it like that," I said.



"What do you mean?"



"He'll have Death Eaters surrounding him," I said.



"I'll have Phoenix members surrounding me," he said. "Last night I asked Remus, Tonks, Arthur, and Mad Eye Moody to help me."



"Don't forget me," Ronald said overhearing.



"And me," I said.



"It's too dangerous, Severus," Harry said.



"So's your aim Harry," I replied. "And I am sorry but if I'm not going then you're not going have I got that understood young man!"



"Don't speak to me like you're my father!" Harry exclaimed.



"Well, tough, whether you like it or not now I am your dad, and I can tell you that I think that even your father would say the same thing!” I said. “And like I said you don't go without me."



He sullenly looked on his plate.



"I have to do this myself!" He said through gritted teeth.



"You can do it yourself I'll just be there okay," I replied.



He nodded and wiped his mouth with his napkin and got up.



"I have to write a note to Voldemort now," he said. "I wish not to be distracted!"



He gave a stern look at Ginny who shrugged her shoulders and sparkled innocently at Harry.



************************************************** ***************



I didn't know what to do with myself that day until Longbottom approached with a fearful expression on his round face, his blue eyes looked at me with horror.



"What is it Mr Longbottom?" I asked him.



"Um!" he clamped up.



"I am not going to bite your head off now or shout at you anymore so, come on, out with it lad!"



"Well, sir," he was stammering. "Um, well I was wondering Sir um, is there a potion that could - could help my mum and dad get better?"



I looked at him squarely in the face.



"No there isn't," I said truthfully. "If there is one I will tell you immediately. If I discover one then you will be the first to know."



"But you said you could brew fame, bottle glory and even put a stopper in death," he said. I was amazed that he remembered my first speech to them. Longbottom of all people!



"I can but I can't boil up a miracle," I replied.



"You were my last hope, sir,” he said sadly kicking at some stones on the ground. “I may have been scared of you but I knew you were clever.”



I walked up to him and placed my hands on the upper of his arms.



"I don't lie Neville," I said. "What would you rather have; a false hope or a real one?"



Neville's eyes shined with tears.



"A real one, sir," he replied quietly.



I held his gaze a little longer.



"Neville, I am truly sorry for what happened to your parents and I promise that when I find the time I will try all I can to help them; but don't expect it to be overnight, there are lots of things that haven't been discovered, before Albus was born there was only one use of Dragons blood now there are twelve. It takes time to discover these things, time which at the moment we don't have much of, not for trial and error at any rate.”



He let two or three tears stream down his face. He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me again.



"Thank you, sir," he said. Then he went back in the house. My mind was a whirlwind of ideas now. Certain plants and juices could be put in a variety of different ways to make all sorts of lovely, bright, helpful potions.



************************************************** ***************



Harry had shown me the note he was preparing to send an hour or so later.



"Hello Voldemort



I am Harry Potter, and I want to arrange a little meeting with you, nothing too violent, just a little tête-à-tête between us to smooth things over. I will even let you state the time and place of the meeting.



If you are amenable to this meeting please send a note back with my owl Hedwig.



Harry



PS. She likes dead rat!"



"Well you can't get more blunt than that," I said. "Although do you have to write his name."



"He's not scared of me is he?" Harry asked. "I thought his biggest fear was Dumbledore and now he's gone he has nothing to be afraid of."



"Sure about that are you?"



"Certain sure."



"Well, if you're sure he's not afraid of you," I replied.



"Apart from this scar and this prophecy what is there about me to fear?"



"Nothing," I replied.



"Out with it!"



"Well you have the power he has not," I said. "And that is what he is afraid of. You having something he has not got."



"Oh well that's his problem then isn't it."



He put the note in his gorgeous owls beak and whispered where to go; she gave him a look of loathing, and as she took off, she pierced his skin and I saw blood coming out of the scratches her claws deliberately gave him.



"She does that a lot," he said shaking his hand and licking the blood.



I smiled. "I don't blame her I think I'd have done the same thing if I were her."



"Thanks!"



"Now all we have to do is wait," I said.



I was never any good at the waiting game. I decided to get some muggle rough clothes on and weed out the garden, I know I could use magic but I needed to waste time, doing things the muggle way sometimes eased my mind. I was soon joined by Neville and Luna who came out with gardening tools.



We were getting on well when a bird flew down to us. It was Hedwig and she had a note in her mouth. She was obviously in a foul mood with Harry, (I know Lily poor pun but really I couldn't resist!) I took the note out of her beak and she flew off somewhere to vent off on her own.



"You two carry on," I said. They nodded.



************************************************** ***************



"Right," Harry said waving the note in front of all us volunteers. "Old age Psychopath wants us to meet him at Godrics Hollow, no points for guessing why! At four o'clock. That is in an hours time, I want us all to separate around the city in pairs. Lets see; Ronald, you go with your father. Mad Eye and Severus you go together. Remus and Tonks you go together and that leaves me to go on my own."



"Oh no you're not!" Ginny exclaimed.



"How did you get in?" Harry asked. "I said volunteers only!"



"Yes and I'm a volunteer!" she said stubbornly.



He rolled his eyes.



"Fine!" he sighed. "But if you get hurt don't blame me!"



"I wouldn't dream of such a thing!"



We all paired off. Mad Eye went to a nearby alleyway.



"Want to give ol' red eyes a little bit of a fright," he sniggered.



"Hmm, I am not sure that would be a good idea."



"Oh stop it, Severus, you hate him as much as we all do," he said. We apparated.



************************************************** ***************



"Why did you agree to this ridiculous notion, Master?" I heard Bellatrix complain.



"Because, Bellatrix, I to want a little chat with my spectacled friend."



"I only hope Snape has decided to come, I want to kill him!"



"No, Bellatrix, there will be no killing," he replied. "Only if it starts getting out of hand. Draco, what are you doing?"



"Sending out seeking spells to see if Potty boy bought along any of his friends!"



"Of course he has bought some of his friends, Malfoy, put that wand away ass!" Greyback growled.



"And how is the dear little woman?" Bellatrix sneered.



"All right actually, Bellatrix, I'll send your love to her!"



I had to hold in a snigger.



"Did the honeymoon night wear her out?" she was not about to be rebuffed as quickly as that.



"She wore me out Bellatrix," Fenrir said. "Now shut up okay I've got a blistering headache for some reason!"



Mad Eye and I exchanged a glance. Looks like my little Mia was not about to be anyone’s little woman! And I was shaking with jealousy. I was supposed to have had her last night, those breasts, that mind, her body, is mine Greyback! I’ve only let you ‘burrow’ her for the greater good.



"He's here," Voldemort said. "Get into your positions."



Harry stepped forward.



"Do you know where you are?" Voldemort asked silkily.



"My old home," he said.



"That's right," he said casually. "This is where it all began, Harry. This is where you became - what was it the Daily Prophet called you recently? Oh yes, The Chosen One!" he sneered.



"I seem to be collecting nicknames like some people collect Horcruxes."



I looked at Mad Eye worryingly. He smirked.



"Good boy let him know where he stands!"



Voldemort stopped smirking, he lost his cool.



"Who told you about the Horcruxes?" he asked. "If it was Snape I will -!"



"No it wasn't," he said smoothly. "It was Albus Dumbledore, he told me before he died what it was that kept you alive. I know as much about you as you do about me!"



"And I suppose you're off to hunt for them aren't you seeker boy?" Voldemort sneered.



"Yes," he said. "I wanted you to know exactly where you stand; your Lordship. I want you to know that I am not afraid of you and you can do all what you like to me but you can't stop me! You can't kill me but I will destroy you piece by piece. I've already destroyed one part of your soul and Dumbledore has destroyed another part of your soul there will be more and I don't care how long it takes me, I am going to do it!"



"Oh you're not afraid of me?" Lord Voldemort sneered. "I am not afraid of you either you can do what you say you will do, but I have power and strength, you can almost destroy me but you can't destroy me forever, look where your last chance got you?"



"If at first you don't succeed, Lord Voldemort," Harry said calmly.



His Death Eaters all stepped out. Including the big blonde one. Never knew his name, we never really talked.



"Let's see how good you are against this lot!" Voldemort challenged.



"I'd rather pit my wits against the person who is supposed to be my equal!" he exclaimed. "But don't worry your Death Eaters will have people to play with. I brought along a few friends of my own!"



We stepped out of our various hiding places.



I was directly facing Draco Malfoy.



"Snape," he said coldly.



"Malfoy," I replied. "We don't have to do this!"



I looked around everyone was quiet. Lord Voldemort looked interested.



"Going to change someone else into a turncoat," he said.



Draco looked from him to me. He had his wand poised at his side.



"Look Draco you don't have to follow him all your life," I said. "I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to duel with you.” I said sincerely. “Believe it or not Draco I care for you. Come with me; take my hand and come to me,” I stood there holding my hand out. Draco looked uncertainly at the outstretched hand. “The order will protect you," he looked again at Lord Voldemort, he was worrying his lower lip between his teeth. I could see he was in Indecision City.



"I do love traitorous games, there is something so Slytherin about it!" Lord Voldemort exclaimed.



"Draco come on," I urged. "Take this hand come to the order. They helped me they can help you to."



"Well, Malfoy, what are you waiting for?" Lord Voldemort jeered.



"Don't listen to him listen to me," I said. "The order can give you friendship. Love. Loyalty. Protection!"



"Great selling point, Severus, you missed your vocation in life. You should have been a door to door salesman or a washout like Fletcher!" Bellatrix leered.



Confusion spread over his pale features, he looked from him, to me and back again.



He made a step forward!



Severus



A/N - What is Draco going to do? Does Voldemort ever wear pink? What is it Ron and Harry were talking about? These will be answered... I'm not sure about the Voldemort one though... take a vote on that one?