Inside Your Mind

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters associated with the series, they all belong to J.K. Rowling, once again…

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Chapter 19 – Revelations

The bright sunlight streaming through the glass window in Draco’s bedroom woke Harry from his restless sleep.

Draco lay beside him, flipping through the leather bound diary that had ruined Harry’s hope of actual rest the night before. His eyes widened and he prayed that his boyfriend had not yet reached the last part of Narcissa’s story.

Not feeling capable to handle the blonde’s reaction to the diary’s contents just yet, only one option presented itself in his mind – he had to distract Draco.

Leaning over, he began to press soft kisses to Draco’s shoulder, making his way to his neck and biting lightly. Draco inhaled sharply and closed his eyes for a moment, before gently pushing Harry away. “I want to finish this, love.”

But Harry was persistent, letting his tongue map patterns on Draco’s pale neck, which was arched despite his protest. He used his other hand to skim the blonde’s stomach muscles, having recently discovered it was a most wonderful way to make Draco squirm.

And squirm Draco did, inhaling even more sharply, not wanting to make a sound for fear that if he did he would be lost to the moment.

Harry looked up, eyeing the book in Draco’s hands, nearly sighing in relief as he saw it slipping from the blonde’s weakening hold. Grabbing this opportunity, he raised his lips to Draco’s, letting them hover not half an inch away from the other’s. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Draco threw the book to the ground, growling, “Oh, but you’re maddening,” before crushing his lips to Harry’s.

Harry smirked into the kiss.

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An hour later, they fell backwards onto the bed, reclaiming their positions from earlier that morning.

“Are you satisfied? Now, do you think that you can let me read in peace?” Draco’s tone suggested that he was glaring, but all Harry found in his boyfriend’s gaze was the same satisfaction he felt.

Then his sex-clouded mind cleared enough to comprehend Draco’s words and his arm reaching for the diary once again.

He panicked.

“Hey, um, we have to get up or…” He racked his brain, reaching for the first thing that came to mind. “…Or we’ll be late for class!”

His triumph was deflated by the strange look Draco gave him. “Love?” he responded in a questioning tone. “It’s Sunday. We have no classes.”

Fuck. Harry watched Draco’s hand move, trying to find where he had left off.

“Um….shower! We should definitely take a shower,” he said hurriedly.

To his relief, Draco looked thoughtful.

Oh thank Merlin.

The blonde’s eyes narrowed. “Oh thank Merlin what?”

Realizing his mistake, Harry backtracked. “I just really want to take a shower,” he said lamely, not sounding at all sure.

Suddenly, Draco’s silver eyes flashed from Harry’s panicked expression to the book he held in his hand, and recognition lit his face.

“Harry Potter, are you trying to distract me?”

“Um…no?”

Draco’s eyes flashed again. “You distracted me with sex,” he said with amusement, his trademark smirk spreading. “I’ve taught you well.”

Harry laughed, sighing in relief, thinking Draco wouldn’t press the issue.

Evidently, he wasn’t that lucky.

“The question is, Harry,” Draco continued, his playful tone diminishing, “what are you trying to distract me from?”

Harry was silent, just looking at him with sadness in his eyes.

“Harry, what’s wrong?” Draco asked quietly, lifting his boyfriend’s chin to meet his gaze.

But he remained silent, reaching for Narcissa’s diary. Gently flipping through it, he found the entry from July 9 and handed it back to Draco, open, without a word.

The blonde shot him a worried look, but Harry only held the book out, helplessness written on his face. Finally, Draco kissed his Harry lightly before accepting the book and settling back to read.

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Remus and Severus declined the routine lemon drops that Dumbledore offered them and sat, accepting the offer of tea only.

Conversation did not begin for minutes. The three only sat there, waiting for the fourth member of their meeting to arrive. As if taking their silence as a sign, Lucius stepped through the fireplace, dusting the nonexistent soot from his robes.

“You’re late,” Severus stated coldly.

“Good afternoon, Severus. I’m just fine, and you?” Lucius returned sarcastically.

“Play nice, children,” Remus interjected, smirking.

Lucius turned. “Didn’t you used to be good-natured?”

Dumbledore cleared his throat. “As much of a relief it is to see that none of us have lost our humor, I do believe this meeting has a purpose,” he commented dryly.

“Does Draco know yet?” Lucius asked.

“I do not believe so,” Dumbledore answered.

“Know what?” Remus finally asked after a few moments of silent trailed the exchange.

Sighing, the elder Malfoy looked questioningly at the Headmaster, who gave a tiny nod. The blonde placed his head in his hands before murmuring haltingly, “After graduation at Hogwarts, I took Narcissa home with me to prepare for the wedding.”

Severus nodded at this, encouraging the continuation of Lucius’s story.

“One night, while we were there…Narcissa says she woke during the night and rose, wanting to walk around for a moment. She says that she left the room and came across my father in the hallway…with a man.”

He stopped, letting his words sink in, needing the time to regain some of his composure.

“My father saw her…he told the man to leave and dragged her to an empty room…and he raped her.”

Silence fell like a heavy curtain over the room. Dumbledore’s expression remained the same, as this was not new to him. Remus’s, however, was a mixture of disbelief and horror, and even Snape’s icy cool expression was disturbed with one of abhorrence.

A few moments passed before Snape concluded, in almost a monotone, “Draco was the result.”

Lucius only nodded.

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“I was the result.” Draco concluded.

The blonde’s voice raised Harry from his stupor, and he looked to Draco, something akin to pity in his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that,” the Slytherin snapped. “Just tell me the truth.”

“I think so,” Harry responded carefully.

“Fuck,” the blonde muttered vaguely.

Regarding his boyfriend carefully, Harry said, “That’s all you’re going to say?”

Draco gave a wry laugh. “What else can I say? What is one supposed to say when they read this type of thing? Tell me, is there something else you would like me to say? Would you rather have me run around the room, going mad?”

“No…” Harry said uncertainly, not used to this rambling side of his boyfriend.

“My grandfather had an affair with a man and then raped my mother, producing me, meaning that my father is my brother, or something along those lines, who the hell even knows,” Draco continued. Now he was standing, and the pacing had begun. Back and forth, in front of the bed, a pair of emerald eyes following his every move.

“So this is why my mother resents me, I suppose.” The rambling continued. “It’s no wonder, really.”

By this time, Harry had risen from the bed and approached Draco slowly. “Love, are you okay?”

Draco stopped suddenly and faced him. His eyes were rather frantic as he whispered, “My family is so fucked up.”

Then he started laughing, completely uncontrolled, so hard that he fell backward on the bed. He grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him down with him.

Harry leaned over his boyfriend, bracing his hands on either side of the blonde, trying to figure out the best way to stop the maniacal hilarity.

Finally, he leaned down and kissed Draco deeply, giving him a chance to respond before pulling away. When he opened his eyes and looked into Draco’s, he saw the same helplessness that had been present in his own right before he had handed the diary to the blonde.

Without a word, Harry lay back down beside Draco and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. Burying his head in Harry’s shoulder, Draco muttered, “Why do I ever assume that my life can’t get more complicated?”

“Yes, hope is rather annoying, isn’t it,” Harry said dryly.

“Oh, be quiet,” Draco responded half-heartedly before hugging him closer.

They lay for a few minutes in silence, before Draco started laughing again.

Harry looked at him. “Are you going insane again?”

Draco hit him. “No, thank you very much, and I wasn’t before.”

Raising an eyebrow, Harry responded, “If you say so.”

The blonde rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I was laughing because this is all kind of surreal. Think about it: I found out that my grandfather raped my mother and produced me because my mother had Harry Potter kidnapped because she resents my existence.”

Harry’s eyebrow was still raised. “You’ve gone from maniacal to blasé far too quickly for my comfort.”

Draco only sighed. “Must you question everything?”

“If it annoys you, then yes,” Harry answered smartly, receiving another smack on the arm.

“You’d think with my life, I’d at least deserve a boyfriend who doesn’t enjoy annoying me so much.”

Harry sighed in mock-sympathy. “Yes, poor you. I suppose it’s a good thing we agree on some other things, then.”

“Well, of course,” the blonde replied before kissing his boyfriend to prove his point.

Harry responded for a minute before pulling away. “How much sex are we going to have before eleven o’clock in the morning?”

Draco only smirked. “Enough.”

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Draco and Harry spent the rest of the day in their room, shutting out the world around them. The only ones who saw them before that evening were Blaise, Seamus, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny who entered their room around three and stayed for hours.

Seeing as the most effective way of blocking out the world for the day had proven to be sex, one can only imagine what the seven friends spent the day discussing.

This theory was proven correct by the conversation that Severus and Lucius were exposed to when they entered the room around nine o’clock.

“What was the most kinky thing you’ve ever done?” Hermione was asking Blaise and Seamus, a gleam in her eye.

Ron, who had long ago given up trying to prevent this conversation, simply sighed and wrapped his arms protectively around Hermione, chanting to himself that he was dating her, that was all that mattered.

“Hey, why do you ask them and not us?” Harry asked.

Hermione waved her hand dismissively. “You’re too new at this.”

Draco raised a pale eyebrow. “I’m not.”

Turning to him, Harry commented, “Yes, please, let’s hear all about Draco’s previous exploits in front of the current boyfriend, that sounds like fun.”

“Don’t worry, Harry, you’ll enjoy all the things I’ve learned one day.”

Emerald and silver eyes gleamed at each other in the dimly lit room, illuminated by the storm clouds above them.

“Ahem.”

The occupants of the room turned at the interruption, finding Lucius and Severus wearing identical expressions of discomfort.

“You find out that your mother was raped, and the same day, we walk in to find you discussing sex?” Lucius commented, his eyebrow raised.

Draco mirrored the Malfoy look before responding, “You avoided it for sixteen years; I can avoid it for a day.”

Meanwhile, the five students who were unaware of Draco’s situation looked at Harry bewilderedly, but he only shook his head, mouthing that it would be explained later.

Snape cleared his throat, catching Lucius’s gaze and prompting him to speak.

“Draco, there is a meeting now.”

Draco stared at him. “And?”

Lucius looked at the other occupants of the room. “They know everything?”

Nodding, Draco motioned for him to continue.

“Voldemort requests your presence.”

Two identical pairs of eyes stared into each other when Draco’s head snapped up abruptly at Lucius’s eyes.

“You’re not going,” Harry said flatly.

“Potter, I’m afraid you can’t control that,” Lucius responded said tiredly.

“Yes, I can.”

“No, you can’t, Harry.” Draco and Hermione spoke up at the same time. They looked at one another, surprised.

“Harry,” Hermione continued gently, “how would it look if the son of Lucius Malfoy did not show up at the request of You-Know-Who?”

“We can’t risk any more than what I am already risking by lying, Potter.” Lucius picked up Hermione’s reasoning.

Draco stood, pulling Harry with him. Placing his hands on either side of Harry’s face, he spoke quietly. “I have to go.”

Leaning forward, Harry reciprocated the action, then kissed Draco. Finally, pulling away, he nodded.

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Twenty minutes later, Draco stood with his father and Severus, just having taken a Portkey to the location at which the Death Eater meeting would be held. He took a deep breath and nodded, and the three made their way to the mansion.

The meeting was rather uneventful for Draco for quite some time, making him think that maybe he would get out of this without any problems for the night.

The night had other plans for him.

“Lucius,” the Dark Lord snapped, “when do you think your son will be ready to join us?”

Lucius flinched, making the worst mistake he had ever made. Voldemort made his way over to him, scrutinizing him closely while questioning, “Is there something wrong?”

“No, of course not,” Lucius replied, struggling to keep his thoughts under control.

“Really?” The red eyes narrowed into slits as the Dark Lord looked directly into the silver eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

Voldemort stared into the other’s eyes long enough to spark the flare of panic he was waiting for. Then, he whirled around, coming to face Severus. “How about you? My link at Hogwarts…what do you think of Draco?”

Severus stood as still as stone, his eyes just as cold and black. “I think he has much potential, My Lord.”

Draco was watching these exchanges hoping against hope that Voldemort would let it go while desperately trying to control his thoughts as well. He knew it was hopeless, already seeing that Lucius had made two crucial mistakes. Suddenly, Voldemort screamed Crucio! and directed it at both Lucius and Severus. As the two lay on the floor, screaming, Voldemort turned to Draco.

“Look at your protectors,” he sneered. “This is what happens to the people that care about you.”

Draco stared back defiantly, determined to let his eyes show nothing.

Voldemort just laughed. “Such vigor, independence. We’ll have to fix that.”

Draco looked down at his father, who was gazing at him with instruction in his eyes. They were telling him to go back to Hogwarts, not to worry about them, to relay everything to Dumbledore. The message clearly read do not try to help us at this moment.

So, Draco did the only thing he could think of.

Taking out his wand in less than a second, he Apparated as quickly as he possibly could out of the mansion, Voldemort screaming behind him.

The screams of his father and godfather burned into the night and his mind, imprinted forever.