Snapey Went A Courting

Snapey Went A Courting

It all belongs to Rowling, except what you don’t recognize.

Chapter 19 DoorDoor Closes and a Window Opens.


“Mum… Dad… What a surprise.” Hermione couldn’t believe her foul luck.

“Where have you been?” Asked Hermione’s mum, nervously playing with a magazine.

“We’ve been worried sick.” Said Hermione’s dad.

“You were supposed to register for school yesterday, darling.”

There, a tiny shrill note of criticism had crept in to her mother’s voice. Hermione flinched and then gave a mental kick to herself. Little things like having your child kidnapped and his father held captive did tend to disrupt one’s schedule.

“Well… We’re waiting for an explanation.” Hermione’s dad wasn’t the most patient of men at the best of times, but he seemed more worried than annoyed.

Just then Teaseh popped up.

“Oh Hell, what is that thing?” said Granger, backing away and placing his body between the House Elf and his wife.

“Oh, that’s Teaseh.” Hermione’s mind worked quickly to find the right words. “She’s the new… au pair, just as soon as she signs her union contract.” Hermione fetched a copy from the drawer of her desk. “She’s wonderful with children and that way—“

“You can go to your classes. But, Hermione, I thought we’d agreed to leaving the baby at the University’s creche.”

Hermione went to get herself a glass of water. And to buy some time to think. She had to get rid of them and get a hold of John Snape.

“By the way, dear. Where is Waldo and who are these Witches?” Her mother had snuck into the kitchen alcove, leaving Hermione’s father to glare at the small magical being and the two larger representatives from the Wizarding world.

&&&

Lupin turned from where his beloved was sleeping peacefully on the hospice cot. “Yes, Professor McGonagall? You had something to say?”

McGonagall’s lips moved several times without a sound coming from them. She looked like she had a bogey flavored Bott’s All Flavor Bean in her mouth and was too polite to spit it out.

“It was difficult not to notice that your robes were missing. It seems a rather odd time of year to go skinny dipping.” Her mouth went into a further frenzy while her eyes glared.

Lupin felt that he was suddenly eleven years old again and had been caught red handed sneaking a midnight feast from the kitchen. He swallowed down the old fear and cleared his throat.

“Actually it was a picnic celebration.”

“I do hope you know what you are doing. Headmaster Dumbledore takes a very dim view of faculty liaisons. They almost always get gossiped about and once the student body finds out—” she gave a dismissive sniff.

“We are getting married.”

“Married? Are you sure? I m We Well.” McGonagall spluttered.

“What is it with all of you?” Lupin said angrily. “Don’t you think that congratulations are in order?”

“I fear your emotions have rather clouded your judgment. Alicia functions well enough here at Hogwarts, but her only skills are in Arithmancy. She failed all her other OWLS was was only kept on—“

“Out of pity? Like Hagrid?” Lupin’s outrage was growing, “I love her and I wouldn’t care less if she couldn’t even make water boil. She’s a wonderful Witch. No wonder she’s so shy, the way you all patronize her. I’m in charge now and I expect her to receive at least a modicum of respect from people.”

“Ha, that’s all well and good. As long as you understand that she does need a keeper.” McGonagall turned to leave in a flurry of robes. She stopped and turned. “Oh, and one more thing. She has another talent—cursing. Out of the blue a few years ago, she attacked Severus. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Mind you have a care about that.”

“He probably provoked her.”

“He was only being himself. Just be cautious with her; she’s led a very sheltered life. And…” McGonagall seemed to finally swallow the metaphoric bean. “Congratulations.”

After she left, Lupin sat down next to the pale Witch and kissed her hand. He’d forgotten how absolutely infuriating Hogwarts could be with all the petty infighting and various professors’ peccadilloes. Still, that’s what happens in any community. And now without the fight against Voldemort or any outside threat to unite them, people were less likely to be supportive of one another. He moved a stray hair from her face and kissed her again. He, of all people, knew what it felt like to be sinned against. And he’d be damned if he let anything interfere with their newfound joy in each other.

&&&

Hermione took the bull by the horns, “Mum, you must leave right away.”

“Hermione. We spent most of the day here worried sick about you and Waldo. Where is my grandson?”

“At Hogwarts.” She responded to her mother’s aggrieved look with a tiny shrug of her shoulders, “Please, you trust me, don’t you? There’s been a problem and I can’t register for school this semester.”

“Is Waldo all right?”

“Yes, Mum. Just it’s been a long day and I’ve been through a lot and now you need to leave.”

“I don’t understand.”

“And I’m not going to explain myself, at least not tonight. Just leave. Please.”

“Hermione.” Her father stuck his head in. “Don’t give your Mum a hard time.”

“Oh, that tears it. Out! Both of you! I’m not going to dental school and I’m not explaining why.” She felt she was being petulant but just didn’t care. She was tired and wasn’t going to take anymore.

Just then they disappeared. Hermione blinked. The tiny House Elf walked tentatively into the kitchen.

“Teaseh hopes that Miss Hermione Granger don’t mind.”

“Teaseh, what did you do?” asked Hermione with some trepidation.

“Teaseh made sure they got home all safe and sound.”

“Do you always take such initiative?” Hermione wondered if there was another reason why the little Elf was given clothes.

Teaseh flushed a nasty shade of green and her ears drooped. “Did Teaseh go too far?”

Hermione smiled. “No, Teaseh. I think you did just fine. Now, let’s find out who those two Witches are on our couch. Shall we?”

Teaseh gave a contented sigh. She was rapidly falling in love with her new mistress.

&&&

“So Harry,” said Trini, “it isn’t so much that you feel the need to rebel as it is just to get in touch with another aspect of yourself.”

Harry picked up a pebble and threw it. “I suppose that’s it. All things considered, I’ve found out a lot about myself by just following my instinct.”

Trini continued to walk along the street down from Ron’s home. “Well, I for one think you are showing as much courage by cross-dressing as you did in facing down Voldemort.”

Harry stopped and smiled at the Witch. “You really think so?”

“Yes.” Trini hoped that the street lamp didn’t reveal that she was blushing. “I guess we better head in now. Everyone will be teasing us you know.”

Harry took her hand. “Let them. I’d really like to talk to you again. Sometime. If it didn’t get you into too much trouble.”

Trini squeezed Harry’s hand. “Oh, well, Trouble’s my middle name.”


&&&

Together, Hermione and Teaseh faced the two Witches sitting on her couch. Suddenly it clicked.

“Weren’t you two on the Night Bus this evening?” The two Witches, one tall with scraggly purple hair and robes to match and the other short and dressed entirely in aquamarine robes to also match her hair as well, preened.

“Yes, I am Priscilla Everest and this is my friend and close associate, Lolly Lingham,” stated Priscilla the Purple One with aplomb.

“And why are you here?”

“My dear, we are here to make you a proposition—“

“Yes, indeedy. And we just couldn’t wait,” popped in the shorter Witch breathlessly.

“No. Wouldn’t be able to sleep at all once we had the idea—“

“So we located you—“

“Yes,” interrupted Hermione. “How did you find me?”

“Luna Lovegood.” Sparkled Priscilla, “We do have our connections. Now, I don’t expect you to give your answer right away,” Lolly nodded enthusiastically to Priscilla’s statement, “However, we must ‘stir while the Cauldron is Hot’ as they say.

“So please do sleep on it and we will meet tomorrow, say 3:30 at Madam Puddifoot’s. Luna will be there as well to take notes on our first historic meeting.”

“Notes?” Said Hermione, alarmed by how gormless she felt, “About what?”

“Why, your candidacy for Minister of Magic, of course,” said Priscilla, winking broadly.

“Based on your good works and horrible reputation, we know you are the Witch we have been searching for! See you then--” Lolly put her finger to the side of her nose, and they both Dissapparated.

Teaseh was jumping up and down. “Oh yes, yes, Miss Hermione Granger, Minister of Magic. Ooooh, and Teaseh have just the best charm to make your hair perfectly loverly. Oh, we shall have just the best time!”

She squealed and clapped her hands together as Hermione collapsed on the couch moaning. Good Heavens, she thought. I have a Slytherin House Elf.

“Am I still in Faerieland?” Hermione asked the air.

“No. No, you are not. Is mistress unhappy?” The little Elf’s ears drooped in a most pathetic way. “Have I displeased you?” Huge tears welled up in its eyes and its lower lip quivered.

Hermione reached out to take Teaseh hand. “Not you, Teaseh. But I must find a coin. It’s here somewhere.” Hermione started taking apart the couch pillows. “Now where could it be?” Teaseh disappeared and returned in a heartbeat holding the coin.

“It this it?”

“How did you do that? Where was it?”

“It had fallen behind the dresser in your bedroom, mistress. Teaseh is good at all sorts of things.”

Hermione nodded. “Yes, you are Teaseh. As long as you are willing to do what is suggested in the union contract.”

Teaseh’s gaped. “You are not going to force Teaseh to take money and holidays are you?” she said in a shocked tone.

“Yes. And to please me you shall do so. And I expect to hear nothing more on the matter.”

Th bih bit her lip. “As Mistress Hermione requests.”

“Good. ‘Licorice Toffee!’”

&&&

John Snape felt a tugging at his navel. He knew it meant he was being summoned and he silently cursed the Witch for choosing such a late hour. S, Su, Suzette was asleep, so perhaps she would be none the wiser. He allowed the spell to work and found himself in the young Witch’s living room. Fortunately, he’d grabbed his bathrobe to put over his nightshirt.

“Good Merlin, woman. It’s almost the midnight hour.”

“I’m sorry, John. But there’s been trouble.”

Hermione explained how she and his son had gone to rescue their baby.

“Hmmm.” John sat down and scratched his chin. “Pretty awful those changelings are! Must have been horrible for you.”

The kind words were too much for Hermione to bear. It all came rushing back at her. She began to tremble and tears streamed from her eyes.

“Oh dear.” John took her in his arms. “Now, now. When was the last time you ate?” For John, France was the land of life, liberty and civilized food. Being back in England was a trial to the gourmand in him. Hermione, still sobbing, shook her head. “Well then…allow me to fix you something.”

Just then Teaseh showed up. “My lady is crying. Bad Teaseh. Bad Teaseh!” and she started to slam herself against the wall.

“No. Please don’t do that,” said Hermione holding her head. “Self-punishment, in fact corporal punishment of any kind, is against union rules.”

“Union rules?” Said John with a disbelieving grin.

Hermione sniffed and took the handkerchief offered to her by a shamefaced Teaseh. “That’s right. Section 22 A, subsection 12, clause 7g.”

“Can you cook something good for your mistress, ma petite?”

“Teaseh will have a feast for Miss Hermione Granger.”

“Proceed.” John cuddled the young woman a little more. “You probably just need to eat. And the baby hormones, they always make women cry. You should see my wife and daughters after they give birth.” He laughed.

Hermione managed a smile. Suddenly a banquet large enough to feed a dozen suddenly floated before Hermione. She looked at John.

“I do hope you are going to have some of this with me.”

&&&

Alicia groaned and seemed about to come around. Lupin looked for Madam Pomfrey before groggily remembering that the woman had turned in for the night.

“Alicia?” He kneeled by her beside and stroked the side of her face. “Still with us?”

She smiled. “I feel like hell. What happened?”

“The squid got frisky, I suppose.”

“Now I remember. Ohhh.” Alicia started to cry. “I reek of lake water.”

Lupin kissed her on the forehead. “It’s all right.”

“I need a shower.”

“You need to rest. How about a bath and I’ll wash you?”

“That sounds delicious.”

He kissed her on the lips. “You are, you know, delicious?”

She giggled. “Kiss me like that again and I’ll have to drag you into the tub with me.”

“Professor Vector.” Lupin said in mock seriousness, “Are you propositioning me?”

“Yes. But only if the hand fasting is still on for tomorrow.”

He leaned down and picked her up off the cot. “Only if you feel up to it.”

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him with a bit more passion than before. “Let me get clean first, and I’ll show you how “up” I am.”

Smiling, Lupin swept out of the infirmary.

&&&

John transformed his bathrobes and nightshirt to a royal blue robe with gold patterns. It was the King’s favorite colors. It would have been easier to simply use glamour, but the King would have seen through it in a moment.

He steadied his breathing. It would not do to appear nervous. The large hunting lodge in the middle of forest clearing had remained unchanged in the 45 years since John had last seen it. He was quite sure nothing would have changed, except John. He’d fallen in love, married and fathered a son. He had left the Faerie forever. Or so he thought. Mentally John prepared himself for whatever might occur. He pasted an unfelt smile on his face. He said goodbye to his old life and stepped over the threshold.

He entered a world that had stayed the same since the myths of Cuchulain. The music, the entertainment, the décor were timeless. John had loved it so. And the old yearning returned. Where the Queen’s court tended to mix more with the outside world, the King of the Faerie did not care to notice the changing years. And those who did prefer the modern were swiftly exiled.

John spotted the King sitting on his throne. His skin was a light green and he had ivory antlers growing up through the golden hair on his skull. He broad shoulders were covered in the skins of animals. He looked up and saw John.

“Saccius? My dear friend, we have missed you.” The King rose from his seat and took John into a hug. Then holding him at arm’s length, he shook his head. “You are aging, Saccius. It grieves me to see how much older you are. Have you returned to me that you might cheat time?”

John sighed. “Your Highness, I have come to ask a f. B. But it is not that. I do love my family, mortals that we are, and would not choose to miss any of their existence.”

The King turned from him in frustration and refilled his flagon with mead. “Go ahead then. I am disappointed, but continue to give you my ear.”

“The Queen has taken my son hostage. I would ask that we obtain his rel.”
.”

A sudden coldness descended over the lodge, yet a fire sprung up in the King’s golden eyes. “I will not give into the Queen’s demands. Not even to save your child.”

“That may not be necessary.” Came a voice from the doorway.

The music, which had continued to play in the background throughout the reunion, came to a disharmonious stop.

All in the room, lords and ladies, jugglers and acrobats, servants and various hangers on, stared.

“Quinn!” Boomed the voice of the King. “You got fucking nerve showing yourself here.”

“I come only because I may be able to do you a service. Though in exile, my thoughts have always been with you, my liege, and I would serve you--no matter what state of disgrace I am in.”

Saccius looked from the King to Quinn. He’d heard of Quinn. The Pookah was a legend. He’d chosen to love a mortal and when told to return to the King’s court, he had refused.

The King turned around him to the his court. “I will have music, food, dance and merriment. For tonight what was lost to me has been found.”

The trenchers magically filled, new wine skins were opened and a feast as not seen in many a century began.


A/N: Hugs and special thanks to my reviewers: Spaz141, LittleBird, Innerfeline, Moyra, and Deb.