The Rules of Engagement

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Everyone breath a sigh of relief, the holiday is over. *SIGH* Luckily, it was a quick trip for the in-laws. I’m sure I make them sound terrible and really they aren’t. It’s just sometimes you don’t want your space invaded, you know. I look forward to family time on holidays, meaning hubby, the twins and I, not extended family.

Enough complaining !! Hope you all liked the lemon in the last chapter. This chapter is a bit longer than usual, but I wanted to get us to a certain place and had to go through the steps to get there.

buttercup – Did you coin the term ‘Potterotica’ ? I love it !!


Enjoy . . . . . . . Glinda

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Partners
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It was the pounding in his head that awoke him. Severus felt as if pixies were pinging off the inside of his skull, his tongue were coated in bubotuber pus and ‘Cruciatus’ had been cast on him. Mentally, what mental capacity he had at his disposal at present, he assessed the working of his limbs and found that he appeared to be in procession of all of his parts. He also noticed he had been stripped down to his boxer shorts.

“How are you feeling ?” Severus jumped at the voice that came from somewhere off to his right, his only answer a groan as he kept his eyes closed.

“Perhaps running out and getting pissed was not the best course of action.” The voice snapped.

“Perhaps not.” He admitted, his own voice hurting his head. The space next to him on the bed then depressed with the weight of someone sitting beside him.

“Wubby gave me a potion for you.” Hermione’s voice came, softer than before. Her nearness caused a tightening in his chest. Bloody Gryffindor was still showing concern for him after what he had done. He sat up slowly, holding his head and braved opening his eyes to look upon the face of his latest victim. The concern on her face felt like a punch in the gut.

“You may go now.” Severus snapped. He just wanted her gone from his sight, even though as he looked around he saw it was her bed he was laying in. It was too much to face what he had done just then. He saw her stiffen, but she didn’t move. He cast his eyes down to the blankets that lay across his lap.

“I am sorry.” They both said at the same time. Then looked up into each others eyes. Hermione’s sorrowful eyes searched his and he was confused. Why was she sorry ? It had all been his fault. Her delicate hand clasped his, making his brow furrow in consternation.

“Severus, Irealreally sorry I laughed.”

“Laughed ?! Laughed when ?” He asked, watching her eyes narrow.

“Last night. It was just . . . . I had never felt like that. I felt so good, I just started giggling. I know that was not the best time and I was going to explain to you, but you ran ”
”

“Are you telling me . . . . . you were laughing after we . . . . . ?”

“I had never . . . . . I was just . . . . . . I didn’t mean to hurt your fees.” s.” She said softly. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. So she had not been crying. It didn’t completely excuse his behavior, but it was a relief none the less.

“You did not hurt my feelings. I thought you were crying.” He said looking back at her. As he watched, her face hardened and that ever present fire came to the forefront in her eyes.

“Take your potion, so I can yell at you.” Hermione said in a clipped voice, taking her hand back.

“That is hardly an incentive.” Severus said as he picked up the bottle. She stood from the bed.

“I’m going to yell either way. Your choice.” Severus saw she was serious, so he downed the contents of the bottle and placed it back on the bedside table. With each breath his pain receded. When he looked back at his intended, she was glaring at him with her arms tightly crossed.

“You have got to stop treating me this way.” Hermione spat out forcefully. Severus knew she was right. His head turned from her, but he immediately felt her hand turn his face back to her. “Severus, I am not a child. We have to be equals in this relationship. Last night ‘we’,” She said, pointing at each of them in turn. “made love. You did not force me, by any means. You have got to stop trying to take responsibility for everything.”

“Hermione, I am . . . .” He did not get to finish because she pressed her hand over his lips.

“If you say ‘you’re the adult’, I swear I’m going to hex you.” She snapped and it appeared she meant it. They were silent for a moment. Hermione sighed, then sat beside him once more. She took both of his hands in her own. “If last night was a mistake, and I don’t believe it was, then ‘we’ made the mistake. I was certainly as enthusiastic as you were. If this marriage is to work, we must be partners, equals. I must take responsibility also and you must allow me to. We have got to trust each othe
S
Severus did not know what to say. Her hair was tangled and matted at an odd angle, she had dark circles under her eyes and her clothes were rumbled. And she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. She had wanted him, possibly wanted him still.

“Did I . . . . . did I hurt you . . . . last night ?” He looked into her eyes for the truth. Not that she would necessarily lie to him, but she might try to omit the truth. She smiled softly and gripped his hands tighter.

“The only pain I fels whs when you left so suddenly. I didn’t want you to go.” Hermione said. Severus let out the breath he had been holding.

“I want you to know that I can . . . . . I am not always so . . . .. I can perform much better than I did last night.” Severus said, and to his shame he felt a heat rising in his cheeks. She chuckled softly.

“Well I can’t imagine sex feeling any better, but I look forward to the next time.” She said. Severus leaned over and kissed her softly. He deepened the kiss, while still keeping it slow. He wanted to savor her desire for him. It was a treat he never thought to taste. As he pulled back looking at her, his practical side took over.

“Did you perform the Uberis Dissaeptum Charm ?” Severus asked as he stroked her cheek. She pulled back and sat up straight, looking a little guilty.

“No.”

“Hermione ! Accio wand.” His wand flew to his hand, but she grabbed it from him. Severus gaped at her. He had never been so easily disarmed.

“No, Severus. No contraceptive charms. There is something else I need to tell you.” Hermione placed his wand on the bedside table. “The women in my family, on my mother’s side, have difficulty getting pregnant.”

“You know that does not mean that you will.”

“I know, that alone wouldn’t, but before I . . . . before I was intimate with anyone, I tht itt it best to be examined by a doctor this past summer. A muggle doctor, that specializes in women’s health. As I feared, I do have a couple of issues that may make conception difficult. Not impossible, it just won’t be as easy as it might be for some women my age. He did say I should have no trouble carrying once conception occurs. Wnnotnnot use the Uberis Dissaeptum Charm, because it too will interfere with fertility for several months.”

“You should see a wizard healer. They may be able to correct the problem.” He said as he looked down worriedly at her.

“I will, after we’re married, but I don’t think there is anythingy cay can do for me. I have been reading up on the subject and I have not found anything.” Hermione’s eyes were welling up with tears. He pulled her to him, feeling her tears fall onto his chest. He held her close, feeling her hair tickle his skin. He breathed in her scent and kissed the top of her head. Hermione sighed into him, then turned her face up, searching his eyes.

Her tears seemed to draw him in. He brushed his lips over hers, then kissed her cheeks tasting the salty trails her sadness had left. Looking down into the warm pools of her eyes, he wanted to kiss her distress away. Dipping his head a, he, he kissed her softly. She sighed and pressed their lips together more firmly. The feel of having her in his arms, the smell of her hair, the taste of her, all combined to inflame his desire again. Hermione sucked at his lips greedily and he felt her pushing him back on the bed.

Severus broke the kiss, pushing her gently, but firmly away from him. Panting lightly, he could see the hurt in her eyes. “No, Hermione.” He said, throwing back the blankets and getting out of the bed. Standing with his back to her and running a hand through his hair, Severus tried to calm the sudden awakening in his lower portions. Closing his eyes and taking several deep breaths, he managed to calm enough to face her again. She sat on the edge of the bed, her arms wrapped about her, staring up at him in confusion.

“We . . . cannot be intimate again, until after the ceremony.”

“Severus, that’s silly.”

“No !” He snapped. “I do not want anything to interfere with your studies. I would hold off as long as possible getting you with child.” Hermione began to object again, but he cut her off. “Hermione, please. You ask me to treat you as an equal, to trust you. Now I ask you to trust me. I obviously cannot be relied upon when it comes to you, I need you to promise this will not happen again. We run the risk this time, but if by Merlin’s blessing, you are not pregnant from this encounter, I will not run the risk again.” He stood with his arms crossed over his chest watching her. She seemed to consider what he had said, then slowly nodded her head.

“Alright.” Severus let out the breath he had been holding and relaxed some. “I promise we won’t make love again.” She said. “But if you’re serious about this, you had better put some clothes on.”

He looked down remembering his state of undress. Her eyes traveled over him, making him wonder what she saw. Better not to think on it. Spotting his clothes in a chair, Severus put on his trousers and threw on his shirt, leaving it unbuttoned. Gathering the rest of his clothes, he headed towards the door.

“Severus ?” Stopping, he felt her walking up behind him. She placed a hand on his chest and stood on tiptoe to kiss his lips lightly. Severus captured her hand, looking into her eyes questioningly.

“I just wanted you to know I liked what I saw.” Hermione said in a husky voice. He smiled slightly and drew her hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to her palm, then he exited for the safety of his own room.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Breakfast was eaten in silence, for the most part. Hermione was keenly aware of Severus sitting next to her, pointedly trying to act casual. She sighed softly as she spread marmalade on her toast. Dark eyes darted to her, but as she turned to meet them, they lookway.way.

“Have you two had a row ?” Mum asked, watching them both. Hermione looked at Severus over the rim of her teacup for help. He swallowed thickly.

“Not to worry.” Dad offered. “All couples have a go at each other every now and again.” Hermione choked on her tea at that comment, she could feel her fiancé shooting her an icy glare.

“I believe we have worked through our . . . . . difficulties.” Severus said.

“Well, if it was wedding red, yd, you had better learn now that it’s best to just say ‘yes, dear’ at every turn.” To which Dad received a glare from his wife and daughter.

“Herbert Granger !” Mum said, then proceeded to lecture Dad.

“Is that where you get it from ?” Severus asked privately with a smirk.

“Where I get what ?” She said, still half listening to her mother’s tirade.

“Using a name like an insult.”

“But I don’t . . . . . do I ?” She said, looking at him. Severus nodded. When Mum was finished she turned her attention to them again.

“We will be leaving after lunch to give you two some time alone.” Mum said. Severus visibly stiffened.

“We should return to Hogwarts. I am certain we each have work to fh beh before classes tomorrow.” Ever the busy Potions Master, Hermione thought, or was it the temptation of being alone.

“Oh. I thought, perhaps the two of you might have another look at the greenhouse together. Plans will need to be made quickly to get everything prepared for the ceremony.”

“I am deferring those types of decisions to Hermione.” Severus said.

“Good man.” Dad said heartily, then tried to shrug it off. “Not that I like all this, one little bit, mind you.” Hermione was seriously beginning to doubt her father’s objections.

“I would like your opinion on a few things.” Hermione said, catching Severus’ eye.

“I do not see what help I could be. I have no eye for decorating.” He complained.

“Severus, there is more to decide than crepe paper and flowers.” Hermione explained with growing impatience.

“Such as ?” The dark man said, raising a brow.

“Such as the caterer . . . . . “

“Why do we need a caterer, Wubby does all the cooking.”

“I’m not asking Wubby to cook for that many people.”

“What do you mean ‘that many people’ ? Just how many people are you planning on ?” Severus demanded, his voice beginning to rise.

“Well the Hogwarts staff and the Weasley family alone are quite a party.”

“You are planning on inviting the entire staff and the whole of the Weasley family ?”

“Yes, I was.” Hermione said, preparing to defend her position.

“Now hold on.” Mum interjected. The couple turned their attention reluctantly the older woman. “Why not each of you write down a list of people you wish to invite, then wheedle it down from there?”

Perhaps that was the best idea, Hermione thought. No sense fighting over it. “That sounds like a good idea.” She said, looking to Severus for his opinion.

“This is one of those ‘yes, dear’ moments, Sev.” Dad said with a chuckle. Hermione gasped, she had never heard anyone dare to call Professor Severus Snape, Sev before.

“I believe you are correct, Herbert.” Severus said, a small smile coming to his lips. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief that her father was not going to be summarily hexed. It also let her know that her father’s continued objections were mostly because he felt that was what a father should do.

The remainder of the morning was spent in the library by all parties. Hermione and her mother were looking through a few books for material on wizard marriage practices and ceremonies. Severus was searching for any clues to Remus’ ailment and Dad was fascinated with a book on the ancient wizards in Egypt and how they assisted in the building of the pyramids.

Before heading down to lunch, Severus pulled Hermione aside. “You must not start arguments with me.” His voice calm, but his eyes were darker than usual.

“Me ? You started the bloody argument this morning ?” She said incredulously. His grip on her arm tightened and he pulled her body closer to him.

“You, my dear, are entirely too delectable when you are angry. You promised not to tempt me.” His eyes roamed over her, landing again and again on her lips. He let her go and walked out of the room. Hermione stood dumbfounded, but noticing that her heart was racing. Keeping that promise may prove more difficult than she thought.


~*+*~

Reality flopped back into place and Hermione was only feeling slightly nauseous. Severus rubbed her back gently, waiting for her to find her balance. When she felt better, she looked up into his face and gave him a small smile. Thankful the weekend had gone so well.

After lunch, Mum and Dad had slipped into the kitchen to say goodbye to Wubby and Tinker, with Severus and Hermione close behind. Though they had gotten off to a rocky start, Wubby seemed almost sorry the guests were leaving. The muggles thanked the elves and made their way to the parlor where their bags were waiting. Severus had created a single use portkey to return them home. Her parents had left, but only after gaining a promise from Severus to come and spend a weekend at their home. Soon after Severus and Hermione had packed and apparated back to the school.

So it was still early afternoon, when they walked through Hogwarts front gates, Hermione slipped her hand into his warmer one. He turned a sharp look to her.

“Every touch doesn’t have to be sexual, Severus.” She said. He looked back towards the castle as they walked.

“People do not touch me. I am unused to it.” She squeezed his hand tighter.

“Well, get used to it. I like touching you.”

“Is that not what got us into trouble last night ?” He said. She laughed softly, but didn’t answer.

In the Entry hall, they met Remus just coming down from the Headmaster’s office.

“Hello.” Remus called in his customarily jovial manner. “I didn’t expect to see you two back so soon.”

“We thought we’d come back early.” Hermione said, holding her fiancé’s hand tighter because he was trying to pull it back. “Se . . . . The Professor had some things to do before classes tomorrow.”

The werewolf’s eyes looked from one to the other of them.

“Did you take your potion ?” Severus asked stiffly.

“Yes, no problems there. I’ll stop by this evening for the next dose, if you’ll be there.” Remus said with a sparkle in his eye.

“Of course, I will be there.” Severus said stiffly. Remus looked at their joined hands and smiled.

“Alright then. See you both later.” The fair haired man said, then he was off. Severus pulled her along, walking quickly.

As they ascended the stairs leading to Gryffindor tower, Hermione turned to her fiancé. “Come in for a while.”

“That is not a good idea.” Severus said, seeming worried.

“I will keep my promise. I just want to talk. I’ll have some tea sent up. Please.” She said, stopping outside the door to the Head Girl’s room. He appeared to think on it for a minute or so then spoke.

“I suppose I could come in for a little while. There is something I would like to discuss with you.”

“Alright.” She said, then knocked on the door.

“You are knocking at your own door ?” Severus asked raising an eyebrow.

“I let Draco use my room this weekend, remember. They probably are not expecting us this early.”

“Perhaps I should . . . . “ Severus started to say as he went to grab the doorknob.

“Aaaah !” Hermione said, stopping him. “Actually, I think they would be less embarrassed if I caught them together.”

“Who is in there with Draco ?”

“I . . um . . . would rather not say. They can tell you if they choose, but . . . .” She opened the door slightly and poked her head around it. She saw Draco standing near the bed in his trousers only. He appeared to be searching for the remainder of his clothing. The blonde looked up and gave her a shy smile, then waved her in. She and Severus came into the room and closed the door.

“P . . . Professor.” Draco stuttered out, then sent a quick worried glance at the bathroom door.

“Mr. Malfoy.” Severus said. Hermione looked apprehensively from one man to the other. Draco appeared to redouble his efforts to find his clothes. He picked up a pair of trousers, that were larger and longer than he could possibly have worn. He took them hurriedly to the bathroom door, knocked, opened the door and threw them in. A muffled humph was heard from inside the small room.

“I take it your company is still here. I should like to meet them.” The Professor said, removing his cloak and making himself comfortable.

“Severus, maybe you should . . . . “

“No, Hermione. It’s alright. They might as well get used to each other now.” Draco said.


“Are you sure ? I know he didn’t want anyone . . . . “

“Snape is not just ‘anyone’. You will be married soon.” The blonde said, eyeing the Professor. Hermione wanted nothing more than to ask Draco how the weekend had gone for him, but he looked happy and that was answer enough. He found the rest of his clothing and was dressed by the time the bathroom door opened. Draco looked towards the man coming out of the door, while Hermione’s attention feo tho the dark man sitting on the couch. Neville let out a kind of peep in surprise, but Severus’ expression never changed.

“Mr. Longbottom.”

“G . . .Good afternoon, Professor.”

“I trust you have had a pleasant visit ?” The dark man said. Neville’s brow furrowed and he paused as if waiting for the insults to start, but none came.

“Y . . .Yes, sir. Very pleasant.” The tall Gryffindor stuttered out. Hermione and Draco gaped at their lovers speaking so civilly, then at each other and grinned.

“Let’s go, Nev. We’ve imposed on Hermione’s good nature enough.” Draco said. Hermione received a hug from Neville and Draco, each whispering thanks into her ear. Draco covered himself with the invisibility cloak, Neville opened the door, then they both were gone.

Hermione was still standing in the middle of the room. She glanced over at Severus to find him watching her. He raised an inquisitive brow at her stare. “What ? No nasty comments ?” She asked.

“And why would I condemn Draco for where he places his affections ? That would hardly seem appropriate.”

Hermione sat down slowly next to him on the couch. “Why is that ?”

Severus ran the back of his fingers gently down her cheek. “I too, have been drawn in by the allure of a Gryffindor.” She dropped her eyes, then closed them briefly when she felt his open palm on her cheek. “You are becoming very important to me, Hermione.”

His dark eyes searched hers. She leaned in and brushed her lips across his and let him deepen the kiss as his fingertips ran down her face. When they parted, she placed a hand on his chest, staring up into the fathomless depths of his eyes.

“You know you’re important to me too, right ? I don’t want you to think it’s all lust.” She said. Severus laughed.

“I would settle for that.”

“Don’t. Don’t ever settle.” She said in earnest. He clasped her hand and brought it to his lips.

“I’ll order up some tea.” Hermione said, then placed an order with the kitchens. A few minutes later, Tea was laid out on the low table. She poured them each a cup. When they were comfortably relaxed, Severus brought up the subject he wanted to discuss.

“What do you want to do after graduation ?” He said, resting back on the couch. Hermione sat back at the other end, a little surprised by this line of conversation.

“I um . . . . well, I don’t really know what I want to do. Much will depend on . . . .” He held his hand up to stop her.

“I would like to hear what you want. Do not think about a baby and such.”

“Well, I did like the idea Rose had for his research into the problems with the birthrate among purebloods. And don’t get that look on your face, it has nothing to do with him.” The dark man nodded, though his face still looked tight. “He is interested because his little sister, Reegan, is a squib and it upsets him that she won’t be coming to Hogwarts. When we saw them, in the restaurant, I was looking at Reegan and wondering what would become of her.”

“Squibs are treated better now than they once were. There was a time children were obliviated and sent to live in the muggle world.”

“That’s horrible ! They had a child who simply had different needs and they dumped it off like some unwanted dog ?”

“It was thought to be kinder than allowing them to grow up in a world they could never truly be a part of.”

Hermione was incensed. She set down her cup. “ Is that what you believe ? Are you going to throw away our child if they are not exactly what you expect them to be ?” Severus set down his cup.

“My dear, I did not say I agreed with them. I was letting you know the way things once were. With the higher insurgence of squibs and because so many have fought for the rights of squibs, the lives of these children are brighter than they ever were before. Now many are tutored at home in disciplines that do not require magic.”

“What if the family cannot afford private tutors ? Is there no school for them ? ”

“There is no school for squibs that I am aware of. Is this your ambition ? To be Head Mistress of your our school ?”

Hermione laughed, but then she thought about it. There was a need. “No. Surely there are others better qualified.”

“Consider the possibility. When we are married, you will have the means at your disposal to make such a dream a reality.” rus rus said, with his arms casually crossed. Hermione felt her heart fluttering. Was this what she wanted ? Too soon to tell. There was still her schooling to finish, but the possibilities were staggering.

“It would take a huge bankroll to start a school. Even if I decide it’s what I want to do, I couldn’t take your money.” She said. Severus chuckled and flashed her a grin.

“It will be ‘our’ money when you are Madam Snape and there is plenty to spare.” Goodness goddess, how rich was he ? Her mind began forming a plan.

“Maybe I should look into getting an Education Degree from a muggle University.”

“You do not think tutoring your two dunderheaded friends over the years qualifies you ?” He said with a smirk.

“I think it would be helpful to learn several teaching methods. Maybe I can teach you a thing or two.”

“Me ?” Severus said incredulously. “There is nothing wrong with my methods.”

“You can be a might testy, Severus.” She said, to which the dark man laughed.

“You think my methods are strict ? You should have had class with Professor Fortesque. He had been a Ravenclaw when he attended school, so he was equally demanding of all of his students. Nothing ever pleased the man.”

“Sounds familiar.” He harrumphed and refused to say anymore. “Tell me about when you were at school. Did you have a girlfriend?” Hermione thought it was an innocent question, but a look of fear came to Severus’ eyes. He leaned forward and cleared his throat.

“Yes, I did, in my seventh year. MacCowan, Au . . . . Aubrey MacCowan. She was a Hufflepuff seventh year.” Severus looked distress, he was worrying the fingers of one hand with the other.

“Is that the woman you spoke of ?” Hermione said softly. “When you said it had been a long time since you had a woman you could call your own.” He nodded, not meeting her eyes. It appeared that things had not ended well between them.

“Yes.” He said in a pained voice. “Aubrey was the only woman I’ve ever loved. She left me.”

“Severus, I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about this.” She was concerned by how badly this subject seemed to upset him. He stood abruptly and headed for the door.

“I . . . have some work to do. I have to go.” Severus said, then went out the door without looking back. Hermione was dumbfounded. Why would talking about an old girlfriend upset him so much ? She sighed and picked up the cloak he had forgotten to take with him. She buried her nose in it, breathing deeply of Severus’ very masculine spicy scent. She sighed and sat on the couch with the cloak wrapped around her, trying to make some sense of her intended’s behavior.


~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~


Walking rapidly, he had no destination in mind. Only the need to get away from Hermione and the memories she had unknowingly dredged up. His feet carried him upstairs, downstairs and around the castle until he found himself standing at an unfamiliar door. He knew who lived in these rooms, but he had not consciously gone in search of Remus Lupin.

With a sigh, he knocked lightly. Perhaps hoping the werewolf was out. But the door opened within a moment and there stood the fair haired man with a confused grin.

“Severus ?” Lupin looked him over and seemed to realize the dark man’s frame of mind. “Please, come in.”

Severus walked in and glanced around at the DADA Professor’s rooms. The room was sedate, comfortable like the inhabitant.

“Have a seat, Severus. Can I get you a drink ? You look as if you could use one.”

“Yes, thank you.” Severus said, his voice sounding strange to his ears. Lupin poured them each a glass of wine. They each took a seat before the hearth and took a taste of the red liquid.

“Somehow I get the feeling this is not a purely social call.” Lupin said, watching him carefully over the rim of his glass. Severus drank deeply, then sighed. Best to just get it out, he thought.

“I told Hermione . . . . today.”

“About what ?” Remus asked.

“About . . . . . Miss MacCowan.”

“Oh.” Remus said, then after a long pause. “Everything ?”

“No. Not everything.” Then silence fell between them.

“Aubrey never stopped loving you, Severus.” The dark man’s eyes blazed a vengeful fire when he met the werewolf’s.

“You really think that matters ?” He snarled out.

“It should.” Remus said calmly.

“That only makes what happened that much worse, Lupin. You were at least a friend to her. I turned my back on her.”

“To be fair, she broke it off with you.” There was another long silence.

“Aubrey said I was playing with fire. That no good could come of associating with the likes of Lucius Malfoy. I thought she was just being a snob. She feared I had turned dark, and maybe I had. Do you know what finally broke us up ?” Severus asked. Remus shook his head. “It was the day I was to receive the dark mark. Aubrey begged, pleaded, cried, anything she could think of to convince me not to go, but I would not be swayed. Eventually, the only threat she had left . . . . . . was to leave me and never see me again. Well, you know what her temper was like. I assumed she would get over it, when she saw the power I would have at my command, fool that I was. When I went to the meeting and received the mark, I showed it to her the next day, Aubrey walked away and never spoke to me again. Never. Not one word. I tried to antagonize her, at least get her to yell at me, but she would merely shake her head sadly and walk away.” Severus took another deep steadying breath.

“I did not know about the other raid that night. I never found out if it was kept from me purposely. When . . . .” Severus ran a trembling hand through his hair, trying to block out the images that had been seared into his memory that were coming to the surface. “When I finally heard the other raiding party bragging about their night’s adventures at the Minister of Muggles Affairs home, . . . . . I apparated immediately to MacCowan Manor. As I ran up the front lawn, I saw her. I do not know how I knew that muddy lifeless body was her, but I knew.” Severus could feel the tears running freely down his cheeks. He let them come. She was worth it. Aubrey deserved them.

“Dumbledore was the one who found me there in the morning. I had been holding her cold body to me all night. I did not cry, not then. I was too enraged, but I would not leave my Aubrey there alone in the mud. My sweet Aubrey. My sweet darling girl. Gods, life is cruel, Remus. It should have been me. It should have been me. ” Severus said, then broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.

It was some time before Severus realized Remus was rubbing his back. The thought was comical. James Potter’s best friend was comforting him. He wanted to laugh at the thought, but his breathing was still too shaky.

“Aubrey was not supposed to be home that night.” Remus said, going back to his chair. “She owled me and said her father wouldn’t let her go out with Sirius and I. It was too dangerous.” Severus did laugh at that. A deep, dark hollow laugh that only the pain of lose could bring forth. Severus closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Why does she still haunt me, Remus ? Her face haunts me more than those of my own victims. How can that be so ?” The dark man pleaded with the other for answers.

“I think . . . . . it may be because you are attempting to atone for the wrongs you have done personally. You never wronged Aubrey, you simply could not save her. With her father’s loud stance against Voldemort’s purist movement, it was, unfortunately, only a matter of time.”

“I should have seen that. I should have been there and above all, I should have listened to her in the first place.” Severus hissed miserably through his teeth.

“There are always things we wish we had done. Wrongs, we wish we could have righted. You are not the only one with regrets.” The werewolf said looking intently into the dark man’s eyes. Severus looked down at the rug, Lupin’s stare too much for him to bear.

“I am sorry, Severus. For many things, done and undone.” Severus knew Remus was apologizing for their school days. For not standing up against his friends. The dark man took a deep breath and let it out slowly to help calm himself.

“They were your friends.”

“I always wanted to be your friend, as well.”

“You did ?”

“Mmmm.” Remus said noddin“You“You were terribly clever. And I really could have used the help with Potions.” Both men laughed. Remus was famous for his ineptitude at potion making. He had no hope of brewing anything as complex as the Wolfsbane potion himself.

“Do you think we are making a start now ?” Severus asked. Remus smiled in his easy way.

“Yes, I believe we are.” To which Severus nodded. “How was the rest of your weekend with Hermione ?”

Severus stood up, walked to the mantel, then turned and leaned back on it to face Remus. “I nearly ruined . . . . . . everything.” The fair haired man’s eyebrows went up in surprise.

“How so ? Hermione looked positively radiant.” Remus said. Severus felt a blush rising to his cheeks. He turned his head and stared intently at the side table.

“Oh.” Remus said, seeming to understand what Severus could not say. Then he heard the werewolf chuckle. Severus turned dark eyes to glare at the other man.

“Forgive me, Severus, but you are the only man I know who could make love to the woman he cares for and find some reason to feel guilty.

“It was not the way I would have wanted our first time together to be.”

“It seldom is.”

Severus crossed his arms and looked at the other man. “She also would not allow me to perform the Uberis Dissaeptum Charm.”

“Really ? Why not ?”

“Hermione is determined to fulfill the marriage contract by conceiving a child. The women in her family seem to have problems conceiving and the charm could interfere with her fertility.”

“I see. Since you will soon be married, is that a problem ?”

“This is Hermione’s N.E.W.T. year. I do not want this marriage to interfere with her academics. A brilliant witch such as she, should have impediments removed from her path, not heaped upon her.” Remus stared at him appraisingly.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, she did not smell fertile to me.” Severus stared at the werewolf. “Sorry. I can’t turn my senses off and the full moon is coming.”

“I suppose that will ease my mind on that account.”

“How did Hermione react after . . . ?”

“She was not . . . . . . . displeased, but I insisted it not happen again until we are bound.”

“Did she agree ?”

“She has agreed. It will be hard to stay away from her now.”

“You’re in love with her.” Remus said, smiling broadly.

“What ?” The dark man looked at the other sharply.

“Severus, you are, and I think it’s wonderful.” Was he ? He had told Hermione she was important to him. Could there be more ? The idea of having a wife he loved was appealing, but only if she returned his affections. She was receptive to him in a physical way, but what of her heart ?

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~*> Are there any artists reading this fic ? I would L~O~V~E to see some renderings of Wubby. Maybe even a ‘family’ portrait with Severus, Tinker and Wubby.(Especially in an Anime style) Let me know if you create one, I’ll post the link here for all to enjoy.

*** Remus entries –

deblovesdragon - Robson Green **Very cute !! But it is hard for me to tell if he would be good for Remus, since I have never seen him in anything or heard his voice. He’s quite nice eye candy though.

buttercup - Ralph Fiennes ** I can see the possibility. He would have a good look for Remus, but his features are angular like Alan Rickman’s. I picture Remus as looking softer, more in contrast to Severus. But that’s just in my twisted little head.

Svenja – Alan Rickman is Snape, there’s just no discussion about it. Not that he couldn’t play any role given him, but I can’t imagine anyone else in the role. Funny thing is, he was not the first choice of the casting director. I went to go look at the other actor they wanted, can’t remember his name right now, but he would have been okay, but with Rickman’s voice, he just IS Severus.

I have a DVD with an interview with Rupert Graves and the more I see of him, the more convinced I am he would have been a great Remus Lupin. Oh well. I will cast him as my own Remus ;)

Someone brought up an interesting question on one of the groups. Who could play an older Hermione ? Say in the 20 -25 age group. Don\'t have any ideas myself, but I will be keeping my eyes open.

Until next time,

Glinda

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4/20/04

A/N ** We have the first rendering !!

‘Meeting Wubby’ by cindelrov (It’s wonderful !!)

http://photos.groups.yahoo.com/group/lordandladysnape/vwp?.dir=/cindelrov&.src=gr&.dnm=Meeting+Wubby.jpg&.view=t&.done=http%3a//photos.groups.yahoo.com/group/lordandladysnape/lst%3f%26.dir=/cindelrov%26.src=gr%26.view=t

The drawing is in her photo album at lordandladysnape group on Yahoo. (You will have to be a member to see it.)

All smiles now… … … . Glinda



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