She Said What?

well, well, well. we find ourselves back for another round. i hope you're all ready. i know its taken me forever to get this up and i apologize. the bunnies and the muses weren't cooperating. but its here now and i hope you all enjoy. please let it be known that i do not own any thing that you see within, except perhaps for the plot. i admit that that is my own. every thing else belongs to j.k. rowling, the lucky wench. .:sighs:. oh well. i guess i'll just have to console myself with the royalty check...... what do you mean, there's no royalty check? i'm not getting paid? i'm not making one bloody cent? what kind of world is this that i don't get?..... oh wait. that's right. not mine. damn it.

anyhow.... no smut this time around. sorry. i'm working back toward it, but i can't say for sure when it'll be. so hold tight.

and finally, if you find yourself enjoying this, please feel free to let me know. you don't have to, but i do so enjoy it. it helps feeds the muses, you know. and damn if they aren't insatiable.

Chapter Nineteen: What A Bastard
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Hermione woke with a huge smile on her face. She'd spent the night sleeping deeply, her dreams filled with the images of her husband from the evening meal. It was obvious that her pranks of the day before had vexed him to within an inch of his sanity. He'd looked as if it wouldn't have taken much more than a good smirk to set him off into fits. There'd also looked to be bags under his eyes and a tightness about his lips that suggested he'd perhaps been drinking. Surely he hadn't indulged in anything harder than pumpkin juice? Not when he had students to teach the next day. That was so irresponsible and completely unlike him.

The thought that he'd been drunk the night before last gave her a moment to pause and consider what would have driven him to drink. For the past seven years, despite the fact that Harry and Ron tried to make him seem otherwise, Snape had been very upstanding and full of a certain kind of morals. Granted, those morals had seem skewed and completely off at times, but it was plainly clear to anyone who dared look that Severus Snape had a certain code that he tried to live by. There were times it was probably hard, given the life he'd lived. But the code was there none the less.

Thinking about it, Hermione realized that she'd always stood up for him when Harry and Ron had been complete prats and taken him apart in conversations. She decided that she did such things because, on a whole, she admired Snape. He was a very talented Potions Master and one of the finest teachers she'd had the priviledge of being taught by. Even if, most of the time, she couldn't stand his snarky arse. But she'd never in her entire time at Hogwarts see him as anything less than professional when he was dealing with his underaged charges. He'd never once lost his cool when teaching. So what had prompted it now?

She gave it a moment or two of thought, then shrugged. She really couldn't come up with anything that would drive him to drink on a school night. The truth was, she didn't know him well enough to make any kind of judgement calls where his actions were concerned. For all she knew, he could get drunk nearly every night and had been able to hide it from everyone until now. She had a hard time believing it, but she supposed anything was possible. She knew for a certain that she didn't have anything to do with his foul mood because the two of them pretty much despised one another. Why would he waste good alcohol thinking about someone he didn't care for in the slightest?

Maybe the two of them had had some really great sex, but surely he wasn't bemoaning the loss of that. It wasn't as if he really liked her. He was sleeping with her because they were married and he probably figured that gave him certain rights. It was this reason that had driven her to let him know in no uncertain terms that he wouldn't be able to get into her knickers again until he could look upon her as human. Not simply his own personal sperm bank. Sighing, she shook her head. Why was it feast or famine with him?

Not that she cared, she reminded herself. She admired his abilities and his knowledge, but she didn't like him very much as a person. She enjoyed that he was good in bed, but there was more to any relationship than sex. Even if the two people involved hated one another to within an inch of their lives. Sighing, she shoved the thoughts aside. She didn't want to think about this now when she had woken in such a good mood. There would be time to give deeper consideration to all of this less pleasant side of things later. For now, she was more interested in making Snape's life hell. She was going to show him just how much he needed someone.... a real person.... in his life. She was going to show him that she was that person.

She glanced at the clock near her bed and smiled. She had time for a bath, so she would ponder Severus Snape's sudden fall into drunkeness while she cleaned up before she had to go down to breakfast and then finally to class. Moving about her room with a smile playing at her lips, she went to her dresser and carefully picked out clothes for the day. Taking the small pile into the bathroom with her, she set them all neatly on a little foot stool near the hamper. Then she turned to the tub and started the water running.

One of the few things she enjoyed about her rooms being private was the private bath. She'd always hated cleaning up in a communal setting. She wasn't sure if it had been shyness on her behalf that made it difficult to stand in the same room with another girl while naked or if there was some other emotion that she didn't know and understand. But it had always been so. Hermoine had never quite gotten used to casual nudity like some of the people she went to school with. She preferred to avoid such encounters all together. Which made her wonder why she could get naked at the drop of a hat when it was Snape who wanted her that way.

The room filled with steam as the warm water poured into the tub. The mirror was already protesting the layer of fog covering its surface. Hermione paid it no mind. Instead, she began shedding her night clothes, carefully dumping the rumpled mess into the hamper so that the House Elves could clean them for her at some point. She still despised that the Elves did all of the work. But she'd leaned that many of them enjoyed serving and helping, so she wasn't as obnoxious about them as she had been in her previous years.

Sighing, she sank down into the tub and allowed the hot water to relax any tension in her muscles. One of the things she liked about this bathroom was that it had a large and fairly opulent tub. Oh, she'd seen the prefect's bath and thought it smashing. But she liked the privacy of her own bathroom. While her tub was no where near as large as the one the prefects were allowed to use, it was still good sized. She had a Roman soaking tub. It was long enough and wide enough to allow her to lay relaxed along the bottom of the marble basin. She gave a brief thought to the idea of climbing into a tub like this with Severus and seeing where that would lead. Given the way things were going at the moment, she didn't think that it was likely any such scenario would take place anytime soon. She let out a very unladylike noise of discontent at the thought that Snape would never see her as anything but a sex object and, therefore, would never have sex again.

Glad that she had gotten up early to allow her a good soak in the tub, she closed her eyes and thought about what was to come. As soon as she dressed, she needed to sneak down to the dungeons and cast the small hex she'd found that would allow her to make his life miserable yet again. It was really something simple and she never would have paid notice to it had she not been looking. It had been Professor McGonagall's idea to disrupt his classroom with a rash of small errors that the man wouldn't normally make. Or at least her prompt that he didn't make mistakes and absolutely hated to be corrected that had given Hermione the idea.

The small library of books that she kept in her rooms had so far provided her with both the spell used and the one she planned to use. She was glad to have them because she didn't think she'd have been able to find the needed spells if she'd had other students and Madam Pince looking over her shoulder at every turn. Not to mention some people didn't seem to feel that the library was a place to be serious. The last time she'd been in there, there had been clusters of students together that had tittered and giggled as if they were simple minded twits. It had been an afront to her beliefs that a library was a solemn and special place of learning. Not the spot to catch up on all of the latest gossip.

In the past few weeks since she and Severus had been married, she'd taken to spending more and more time alone in her rooms. Between trying to figure out what to do with her newly married status and the stupidity Ron seemed to be intent upon showing at every turn, she didn't like spending time with anyone but Harry. And he didn't seem to be inclined to make fun of her because he was pretty much in the same position as she was. It was even more disconcerting to be in the Great Hall with him and to have everyone stare at them as if they were royalty. So Harry was The-Boy-Who-Lived. Big deal. He was nothing more than a young man who'd had far too much responsibility thrust upon his narrow shoulders.

And yet, everyone treated them as if their 'relationship' was some kind of foregone conclusion. She wouldn't be surprised if Trelawney came out later and said that she'd foreseen the two of them being together in one of her visions. How it was that no one in the school could see that Harry was as queer as a three pound note was beyond her. Of course, until she'd found out about his love affair with Malfoy, she hadn't known either. But she didn't see it as being a big deal. Harry was Harry. He was her friend and had been since that very first day on the train. He knew more about her than she thought anyone else might. And he was the only one who wasn't casting aspersions upon her character. That meant more to her than she could ever possibly tell him.

The water felt good as it enveloped her and Hermione wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped deep within its warmth, but she was on a tight schedule. Releasing a deep sigh, she straightened and set herself to the task of soaping up and rinsing off. She left her hair for last, using the water to in the tub to wet it before allowing it to start draining out. As it did so, she lathered her hair with sweet smelling shampoo. Then she cranked the water back on and rinsed, repeating the process all over again with her conditioner.

Once out of the tub, she wrapped her dripping hair in one towel and then used a second to wipe the droplets of water from her skin. She took a moment to add a bit of powder, giving herself a faintly pleasing scent. She added a few swipes of deodorant and nodded, knowing this was as good as it got without large quantities of make up and magic. She folded her used towel up and hung it over the bar to dry, then moved to the stool to get dressed.

Her mind rolled over what it was she would have to do as she slipped into her clothing, mentally preparing herself for the task she had before her. It wasn't going to be easy to slip into Severus' classroom this morning. He would probably be on alert for any further pranks. Then again, she thought it highly doubtful he would think that someone would attempt to tamper with his classroom once more now that they knew he knew someone was doing such a thing. She shook her head at that line of thinking. It was as ass backwards as she could ever remember having thought.

She went over the spell in her mind while she settled her bra and panties into place, then reached for her white shirt. She felt an odd sensation for a brief moment, but shoved it aside when it didn't repeat itself. Instead, she worked the buttons of her shirt into their respective holes until the front was closed from neck to hem. Her skirt went next, the tails of her shirt tucked just so into the waist band. After adjusting her skirt, she moved to the mirror to deal with her wet hair.

Sighing, she picked up the wide toothed comb she'd taken to using when dealing with her hair. At least when it was wet. She'd found that she could control the amount of frizz and bushiness if she used this one and it had been a welcome discovery. She only wished she'd made it before her fourth year and the Yule Ball. It had taken so much of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion to tame her hair that night that she's decided she never wanted to have to attempt it again. After the year had ended, she'd found this comb and, while it hadn't taken care of all of her hair troubles, it helped a great deal. She was just getting to the end of her small bit of vanity grooming when she felt another strange sensation.

Settling the comb back on the side of her vanity, Hermione took a moment to study the feeling. It was very vague, a gentle kind of touch if she had to name it. Which she knew to be impossible, as she was entirely alone. Still, it had felt for a moment as if ghostly fingers had stroked across her skin. The shivers it had produced didn't allow her to decide yet just where she'd been touched. She frowned and stared at her reflection in the mirror. 'You look as if you've seen a ghost, my dear,' her mirror intoned softly.

'Something like that, yes,' Hermione replied, wondering why the mirror bothered. The two of them had nothing in common. But the nosy piece of reflective glass couldn't quite keep its comments to itself.

'You missed a spot, you know,' the mirror added helpfully. 'Just there, by your right ear.'

Hermione glanced at the spot next to her right ear and sighed. Sure enough, there was a spot of hair that had defied being tamed. She lifted the comb up and smoothed the rough spot over with it, biting her tongue when the mirror made clucking sounds as if she were Hermione's mother. It almost felt as if the mirror were hesitating, as if it wanted to say something to her. Hermione gave it a look and sighed. 'Did you want to say something to me?' she asked it.

'Oh, erm, well,' the mirror replied and Hermione was sure it sounded pleased now. She wondered what the silly thing wanted to say. 'Now you mention it, yes. I did have something I wanted to speak to you about.'

The mirror's tone sounded rather motherly, and it put Hermione on edge. She didn't want to hear anything that could even be considered motherly advice from a slab of glass. But she'd asked and she had to go through with it without sounding sullen or waspish. She stared at the surface and got the distinct impression that the mirror was squirming. Finally, it spoke again. The words were soft and full of some emotion Hermione couldn't name. But she thought they sounded concerned and worried. 'There's been talk going about. Between us mirrors. My cousin is in the dungeons, you see... And, well, he said you'd been seen recently in the company of Professor Snape.'

The mirror paused as if it were embarrassed or trying to find a way to finish what it had to say. Hermione nodded. 'Do continue,' she insisted.

'He said that the two of you had put on a good show of.... erm,' it sounded as if the mirror was blushing as brightly as a lobster. 'He said you two had been at it like mad rabbits all over the Professor's rooms.'

'Did he?' she asked politely. She now wanted to see where this conversation was heading despite the fact that she needed to be in the dungeons at this moment. And then there was the sudden, soft warning going off in her head, letting her know something was terribly wrong. She ignored it for the moment, because she couldn't quite put her finger on what it could be.

'He did,' the mirror confirmed. It sounded as if it was gathering its courage to finish speaking now. 'I don't know what you're doing in the dungeons with Professor Snape, young lady. But he's still your teacher and students shouldn't be engaging in such behavior with their teachers.'

'You're perfectly correct,' Hermione told the glass oval before her, then managed not to smile too bitterly. 'However, it is acceptable for a wife to so consort with her husband. Isn't it?'

'Of course, but...' the mirror stopped in mid-sentence and fell silent a moment. Hermione swore she could hear it putting things together and thinking it all through. 'Ah, I see now. Damned mirror. Such an uptight twat. Its a miracle we ever know anything that goes on about the place.'

Hermione blinked. She hadn't ever thought that a mirror could be uptight. 'I'm sorry. Which mirror is an uptight twat?' she asked

'The Headmaster's mirror. She knows all of the best gossip. Does she ever tell any of us? Not a bloody word. I wish I could go up there and give her a piece of my mind,' the mirror said, disgust plain to hear in its voice. Hermione was coming to believe that the mirror was female, but she didn't want to start asking questions. That would be far too uncomfortable. The glass fell silent a moment, then seemed to come back to itself. 'Sorry, dear. It does get a little lonely and boring down here.'

'Well, thanks for that,' Hermione crossed her arms over her chest.

'That isn't what I mean, dear,' the mirror crooned consolingly. It seemed to be gathering itself and Hermione tried to tamp down on her irritation. She needed to be in the dungeons now. Any longer and she'd lose her opportunity to manage what she had ahead of her. 'I've watched you this year. You're such a bright girl. And pretty, too. Its been a pleasure for me to be your mirror. And it pains me to think of you throwing your chance at true happiness away on that sour bastard in the dungeons.'

'I didn't have much of a choice. It was the Ministry who said we had to marry. I can't really stand Snape,' she confided.

'I don't know many who do,' the mirror agreed soothingly.

'But I have to admit the man can shag like there's no tomorrow,' she admitted with a smile. As if to agree with her, a faint twinge of pleasure coursed through her body and pooled heavily between her thighs. Much as she didn't intend to admit this to anyone, she missed having Severus driving himself into her. He was more than capable of bringing her to the very heights of ecstacy.

'That, my dear, is more information than I needed to know,' the mirror chuckled, though Hermione was sure the glass intended to use it for its own nefarious intentions. 'Just promise me to be careful. Severus Snape isn't a man who knows how to cherish anyone.'

'I know that already,' Hermione replied, but couldn't help being a little pleased that the mirror seemed to be concerned for her. 'But thank you for warning me, all the same. Right now, he's upset with me because he can't get into my knickers. I think he only sees me as a sex object. I'm working at teaching him otherwise.'

'Good girl. Show him who really wears the trousers in this family,' the mirror chuckled. Hermione couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. That was just what she planned on doing.

~*~*~*~*~

Harry frowned as he watched Hermione nearly stomp into the Great Hall. There was a strange look on her face, sort of an odd mix of anger and rapture that he didn't quite understand. He wondered briefly if she'd had a run in with Snape that had seen her bent over something waist height with her knickers about her ankles. He shook his head on that as he realized that Snape had been sitting at the staff table for some time, a wicked gleam in his eye and a smirk on his face as he engaged in eating his morning meal as slowly as he possibly could.

'Miserable bastard,' she snapped as she threw herself into her seat next to Harry on the bench. He watched as she squirmed a moment, as if in search of a better seat, then stopped and glared daggers at the plate before her.

'`Mione?' Harry asked softly. She turned to look at him and he could see that the anger and rapture were not only upon her face. Her eyes swam with both in equal parts, deep and dark and nearly unfocused. 'What the hell is going on?'

'Peeves is patrolling the halls near Snape's classroom. I heard him say something about catching the culprit. I couldn't cast my spell, damn it. And now I'm so damned horny, I can't think straight,' she whispered heatedly.

Harry blinked at her a moment, then turned to glance at Snape. He was eyeing the two of them, his smirk gone a little wider. When he looked back to Hermione, she was busy throwing food onto her plate as if the dish had in some way offended her. 'What are you going to do?'

'I'm going to borrow your Invisibility Cloak and slip down there,' she replied just before shoveling a large forkful of eggs into her mouth. Harry stared at her a moment. She lifted her eyes to his and glared at him, daring him to deny her.

'And you'll still get caught when Peeves sees the door open,' Harry commented quietly.

'Not if I have a diversion,' she smiled at him sweetly.For a moment, Harry stared at her as if she'd lost her mind. Then he shook his head.

'No. If I'm seen anywhere near the dungeons, Snape will know its you.,' he told her seriously. She gave him a look as if he had suddenly become positively the stupidest person she know.

'Of course you aren't going to be my diversion. Good grief, Harry. Do you think I've completely lost my mind? I've already got a diversion. All I need to do is get your cloak and be in the hall outside Snape's classroom in twenty minutes.'

Harry nodded. She was thinking, which was what she was good at. Peeves floating along the hall before Snape's classroom door would explain her ire. It didn't, however, explain why she was squirming about in her seat as if she'd been dealt a good spanking. Or as if she had other parts that were much abused. 'Hermione,' he whispered and she turned to glare at him again. 'Erm... you didn't run across Snape this morning, did you?'

'Of course I didn't. I'm avoiding him at all costs. Why would you ask me such a thing?' she snapped heatedly. Color rose up to stain her cheeks, though. It made him wonder if she'd ever lied to him. He said nothing, merely motioned to her as she shifted once more upon the bench. She dropped her gaze and heaved a sigh. It sounded as if it were full of frustration. She didn't answer and he thought maybe that she might be embarrassed.

'Hermione?' he asked softly, his voice prompting.

'I'm horny,' she admitted with a growl. Harry blinked at her and grinned. When she saw the look, she reached out and slapped his arm. 'It isn't my fault. I think...' she glanced around to ensure no one was looking. 'I think its some kind of spell or charm. I was fine when I got up this morning. The feeling didn't start until after I'd bathed and dressed.'

He stared at her a moment, the question obvious on his face. She wasn't about to tell him that it felt as if there were ghostly fingers dragging slowly across the edges of her swollen nether lips, bringing them to life, plump and wet and aching for more. She wasn't about to mention to him that her panties were already soaked with need. And she certainly wasn't going to tell him that it was maddening and, at the same time, the headiest feeling she'd ever encounted. The touches were teasing and feather-light. There was just enough pressure to them to make her aware of them as they stroked across her entrance, but not enough to give her the ultimate satisfaction.

It was the most amazing and distracting thing she'd ever in her life experienced.

'You're saying someone charmed something of yours that has you feeling this way?' Harry asked and she could see the gears turning in his head. She nodded. He tilted his head up as if he was looking at the ceiling for the answer. She knew he was thinking. After several long moments, he returned his gaze to her before casting his green eyes up toward the staff's table. She followed the line of his stare and found Snape glowering at the two of them. There was a slight smirk on his face, though, that let her know he knew quite well just what the hell was going on. She narrowed her eyes.

'Self-centered bastard,' she snarled at him, then turned to spear a sausage with her fork. Harry watched her tackle the piece of meat and knew a moment's relief that he was very decidedly gay. He would hate to face her when she was this angry with any of his lower body parts exposed. He was afraid that, in her rage, she'd chew the damn thing off as she was now brutalizing her breakfast link. She continued muttering to herself about what a righteous prick while the table slowly fell to silence, every pair of eyes glued to her. Harry nudged her under the table so that her head came up and she glanced at one and all. 'What the bloody hell are you staring at?' she snarled, then stood and stomped away from the table.

'Mental, she is,' Ron commented between bites of egg, then fell silent. The table once more burst into sound and Harry could just imagine that the gossip mongers were working full force. He turned and cast a critical gaze at Snape, noting the gloating look on the other man's face. Then he sighed and shook his head. Snape was in for such trouble. If there was one thing Harry had learned after all these years attending class with her, it was that there was nothing worse than Hermione Granger scorned.

Harry chuckled and took a drink of his pumpkin juice. 'Poor bastard,' he sighed and shook his head. He almost felt sorry for Snape. Almost.

~*~*~*~*~

'Today, class,' Severus snarled as his last group for the day settled into their seats. He made a show of passing his gaze along each and every one of them, noting with some kernal of perverse joy that his wife was shifting as sublty in her seat as she could. There was a light sheen of sweat on her forehead and a faint glazing about the eyes that let him know his little knicker twist was working as it was supposed to. He suspected that, by the time she was ready to retire for bed, she would be so worked up that she'd come crawling to him. He allowed a faint smirk to pass his lips, then pressed on.

'We shall be working with one of the more advanced potions. Those of you who hope to go on to become Aurors,' his gaze locked on Potter for a moment with disdain. 'This will be particularly important so I suggest you pay close attention to what I have written upon the board.'

He paused and the silence was filled not with the rustling of papers as students prepared to take notes, but with the sound of shifting cloth against the wooden seat as Hermione once more tried to make herself comfortable. He smirked and waved a hand at the board. Instantly, words appeared on the surface, scratched out in his own cluttered writing. 'Now, I expect each and every one of you to copy this potion down word for word. Copy the steps to preparation exactly as I have them written here. The entire thing must be exact. If not, the consequences when you brew it in the second half of class will be disastrous.'

The room erupted into the sounds of shuffling papers, clattering ink pots and scratching quills. He moved to settle behind his desk and work on grading the assignment he'd given to those unfortunate enough to have been on the receiving end of his temper yesterday. Having the advanced classes work on such a difficult and precise potion would give him more than enough time to himself. As much as he detested the idea, he wanted to think about just what the hell was going on with Hermione.

It had been something of a shock to find that she was the one who had charmed his room against him yesterday. Never in her entire time at Hogwarts had she ever done anything so sneaky and so underhanded. It was almost Slytherin of her to sabotage his sanctuary in such a manner. But there was no basis for it. At least, none that he could see. Then again, he'd given up trying to understand the twisted and bizarre way a woman's mind worked. The fact that said woman was a Gryffindor only made it that much worse. He was.....

'Professor Snape,' Potter's voice broke into his throughts and brought his head up sharply. Severus narrowed obsidian eyes at the boy and scowled.

'Mr. Potter,' he snarled softly. 'Is there some reason that you find it necessary to interrupt my class?'

'Sir,' he said, not at all scared by the menace oozing from Snape's voice. Instead, he motioned to the board with one hand and frowned. 'Is that potion's ingredients list supposed to say leg of barking tree frog? I've never heard of such a thing used in the higher level potions. Or in any potions, to be truthful.'

'Barking tree frogs? Where does it say that?' he demanded, shifting his head around to look at the board.

'Second line, sir,' Harry told him and he swore there was a small amount of perverse pleasure in the boy's voice as he spoke. Severus narrowed his eyes when, indeed, he found that the potion listed the use of seven legs of the barking tree frog. What the bloody hell was a barking tree frog? He scowled and turned to look at the class. He'd had similar problems with his previous class. All kinds of small errors that, while they were harmless and listed ingredients that had never existed in potions making, were bloody well annoying. He'd had a sneaking suspicion then who the culprit to such a crime was. A quick glance about the classroom showed that the students didn't quite know what to make of this small error. Hermione, to give her credit, looked just as confused as the rest of the class.

'Of course there is no call for any such thing! It is supposed to be seven spoonfuls of powdered unicorn horn. Make sure you all copy that down. Seven spoonfuls of powdered unicorn horn. Not heaping spoonfuls, either,' he snapped at them, turning back to his papers. The room fell to silence again, save the whisper of clothing as it twitched across the wooden surface of the benches.

With added anger and vigor, Severus began marking the papers before him with a kind of wicked relish, happily taking points off for the smallest infractions. His mind worked furiously to discover ways to prove for certain that his wife had been the one to do such a thing. He also wished to know why she was launching such simple, but so very effective, attacks against him. Surely she wasn't still mad at him?

The thought niggled for a moment, so he gave it some thought. What on earth could she possibly be upset with him that would bring about such wicked attacks? Surely she was as satisfied with the particulars of their relationship as he was. It was no secret that he found her completely lacking and loathed her to within an inch of her life. It was also no secret that she found him to be totally without redeeming social value. The only thing they seemed to have in common was the fact that they were like mad rabbits when they shagged. He'd never left a woman feeling so thoroughly sated before. She'd not expressed any unhappiness with that. So why act as if he'd wronged her now?

He smirked as he heard her shift once more.

He'd never admit it to anyone, but he'd been rather shocked to find that Hermione had been the one to so completely bugger up his classroom yesterday. She'd buggered up his day, as well. And he'd been, on some deep and thoroughly hidden level, pleased to see that she had as devious a mind as he did. He'd always known she was a thinker. But to find that she put that talent to good use every once in a while was both a surprise and a delight. If he had any true feelings for her, he might be tempted to tell her that he was proud of her for her abilities to come up with tricks that were more than capable of throwing him out of step for a moment or two. Never before had he come across a woman who was nearly a match for him on the intellectual side.

'Professor Snape?' Draco's voice cut into his musings and, with a very heavy sigh, he lifted his head and pinned the boy with his stare.

'Yes, Mr. Malfoy?' he asked almost tiredly.

'There, in the fourth paragraph. Is it supposed to say virgin heffalump tears?' Draco's voice sounded odd, as if he were trying very hard not to let others know he had no earthly idea what a bloody heffalump was.

'No, it is not. That is supposed to be dragon tears,' he snarled at the class. He watched as Hermione shifted again, this time a touch more noticably than the previous times. 'Is there a problem, Miss Granger?' he barked at her.

She had to clear her throat twice before she could answer him. 'No sir, there isn't.'

'Then I suggest you remain still in your seat for the rest of class. If you cannot sit still, you will undoubtably find my solution intolerable,' he ordered curtly.

'Yes, sir,' she nodded her head and subsided into her seat. He cast a cold glance around the room and made sure each and every student present took note of his mood. They all fell silent and waited for further instruction. He turned and looked at the board, where everything was written down. As he scanned the potion's ingredient list and the instructions on how to brew it, he found a few more mistakes scattered in it. An angry wave of his wand saw them set to rights and he turned once more to face the class.

'I shall inform you all here and now. Any more of this kind of thing will see each and every one of you in detention every day until the culprit,' he cast a quick glance at Hermione out of the corner of his eye. 'Or culprits are caught. If that means that you must spend the entire of your summer holidays sitting in my classroom, then so be it. Now, I expect you all to get back to work and to remain silent. I will not tolerate another outburst in my classroom without very good reason. You have ten minutes to finish copying this down.'

The sound of quill nibs scratching across parchment accompanied him back to his desk. He took his seat and glanced at the reports laying atop a pile of things to be graded. With a sigh, he pushed them aside and turned his mind to the problem that was currently plaguing him. She was sitting in his classroom, shifting as silently as she could while trying to give all of her attention to the task at hand.

What had prompted his wife to launch such an attack upon him was beyond his knowledge and it puzzled him to no end. What had she been thinking of? Why would she attempt to disrupt his well ordered life in such a manner? It was obvious that the girl had some spark of rebellious intelligence to her, given the ease with which she had managed to thrown him off-kilter in such a short amount of time. But why? Why had she done it? What reason could she have? To provoke him to anger? To make him wish to end their farce of a marriage?

No, those didn't seem to be plausible reasons. He pondered what reasons she could possibly have to do such a thing. With a start, he realized that there was actually very little he knew about his wife. Her name was Hermione Granger and she was an insufferable Know-It-All. And that was about it. Beyond the fact that she was a third of the Golden Gryffindor Trio that lived to make his life hell, that was. Frowning, he wondered if that was what this whole mess could be all about.

A moment later, he drove it from his mind. There was no way that the little chit would be so crass as to throw his life into upheaval just because she felt he were ignoring her. Alright, granted. He was more determined to shag her than speak to her. But it had been ages since he'd had a proper woman beneath him or on top of him or whatever position struck her fancy next. And, to be honest, he rather liked the way she reacted to him when he was pounding away at her like a stag rutting during the mating season. Still, he didn't see that as reason to attack him as she had. It wasn't as if she wanted him to actually take the time to get to know her. Did she?

He sighed in disgust and shoved all thoughts of his wife aside. Bugger her for even making him consider such a ridiculous proposition.

~*~*~*~*~

Hermione was near to tears as she settled into the chair across from McGonagall for her night's detention. She watched her Head of House's hawk-like eyes give her a quick once over and then a loud snort left the woman's throat. 'He's being a right bastard, isn't he?' she said, her voice filled with anger and no small amount of disgust.

'If I could hex his bollocks off, I would,' Hermione replied almost jovially, then shifted in her seat.

'No need to go to that extreme. Trust me, my dear. When you've gotten over your disgust with him, you'll want him to have such things as his testicles. They can be quite useful in the heat of the moment,' Minerva smirked at her. 'Just how bad is it?'

Hermione moaned and shifted again, recalling what a trial dinner had been. She'd wanted to go to her rooms directly after her last class of the day, but it had been as if the Fates conspired against her. She'd had to see the Headmaster, who'd grinned at her as if he could read each and every one of her uncharitable thoughts. Then she'd been summoned to see Madam Pince about several library books that she'd last used and it had taken the better part of an hour for Hermione to find them so that she could prove to the pinch-faced librarian that she hadn't made off with them.

She still suspected that her husband had had something to do with that bit of evilness.

Then had been dinner and she'd been forced to sit through the meal. Ron had questioned her relentlessly about her inability to sit still and she'd finally blurted out, in quite a loud voice that one and all had heard, that she couldn't remain still because her backside was rather bruised from a lusty bout of sex and spanking. She swore she'd heard chuckles coming from the staff's table. And now, here she was in McGonagall's private offices and she was still so horny that she thought she could take a centaur and wear him out before she found relief.

'You don't really want to know, Professor,' she told her. The temptation to crawl back to Severus and beg him to take her was so strong. It was only the fact that he didn't see her as anything other than a sex object that kept her from doing just that.

'Well, then. We shall have to make this detention short. So I shall come to the point. One of the biggest things that we have seen that Severus dislikes is a Know-It-All. And let's face it, my dear. That's how you've come across to not only him, but a good majority of the school, as well. Use that knowledge, my dear. Be the Know-It-All that you are and make his life a living hell. Do not allow him to get away with such shite as he has.'

'You want me to be a Know-It-All in front of him?' she asked increduously. 'But he hates that. Everyone knows he hates that.'

'And its part of who you are, my dear. If Severus is ever going to accept you for who you are, he needs to know that that isn't something about to change. Make him realize that, while he may not like it, he would miss it if you weren't part of his life. Just as he'd miss all of you if you weren't part of his life.'

'So use my intelligence to its fullest?' she asked, rather skeptical that it would work. Minerva nodded and smirked. Hermione sighed. 'Very well. I guess I'll come up with something.'

'Good girl. And now, on to your other problem,' the Transfigurations teacher stood from her chair and moved to a closed door behind her. The door opened on silent hinges and she stepped inside the room there. After about five minutes, she stepped out with a small wooden box. She handed it to Hermione. 'This should help.'

Blinking up at her teacher, she nodded and opened the box. 'Oh..... erm....' Hermione blushed and closed the lid. 'I don't think I could, Professor.'

'Why ever not? Its a perfectly acceptable means of finding relief. And I can assure you it is clean. Its been washed with hot water and soap,' Minerva smirked at the look of disbelief on the girl's face.

'I just.... can't, Professor. Not if it belongs to you,' Hermione protested. She set the box on the table next to her. There was something very, very wrong with her teacher giving her a box that contained a personal item such as that. Hermione had never, ever considered using a vibrator or a dildo. It hadn't ever really seemed important until now. And somehow, the idea of knowing that the staunch and very upright Minerva McGonagall indulged in such an activity.... It was enough to make her sick to her stomach.

'Very well, then. Here,' the older woman sighed, picked something up off of the table nearest the fire and held it out to the girl. It was a glossy magazine. 'I suggest you pick one you like and order it. The instructions are in the back. Owl post is accepted and the packaging is discreet. The nights will be lonely when Severus is acting a dickhead.'

Hermione nodded and took the magazine, tucking it into the book bag that hung off the side of her chair. She stood, looped the bag over her shoulder and moved for the door. 'Oh, Hermione,' McGonagall's voice stopped her. She turned back to her professor. 'This shall be our last detention, despite the week that Severus gave you. We both have to prepare for the N.E.W.T.s and, frankly, if he doesn't get it soon, he never will.'

'Yes, Professor. Thank you,' Hermione nodded and then slipped out the door.

~*~

The door to her rooms were shut and warded behind her before Hermione stopped to think about what had just happened. Minerva McGonagall had offered her the use of a personal vibrator. It was enough to put her off her morning meal if she gave it too much thought. Instead, she drew the magazine from her bag and looked at it. It was a catalogue, filled with all kinds of naughty things. Toys, clothing, body oils and other items of that nature. For a moment, Hermione thought about throwing it on the fire in the hearth and letting it burn. Then she sighed and opened it to the shining pictures that displayed their offered wares.

It was only a moment's hesitation that saw her making a choice. She found an order form and filled it out, having decided that perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to have one around, just in case. She'd send it off in the morning and hope that it would make it there before she left for the summer. Hermione picked up the catalogue once more and studied her choice once more. It was rather an interesting toy, made of what they said was soft, pliable materials to feel and move like the real thing. It was waterproof and came with a small piece that extended out over the clit for full stimulation. Sighing, she closed the catalogue and tossed it onto a nearby table, then pulled off her uniform.

She tossed it to the floor and crawled into bed naked, using a spell to douse the candles. She didn't want to even think about clothes for a while. She turned over the advice that McGonagall had given her. Use her intelligence and be a Know-It-All. Fine. She'd do just that. If her antics of the past few days hadn't gotten him thinking, if they hadn't put his mind and his will to the test then nothing ever would. It wasn't as if she'd done anything extremely difficult or dangerous. Nothing so spectacular that people would speak of it for years to come. But she'd managed to shake up his preconceived notions and send his world into a tizzy. Why couldn't he understand that she could do that daily, if only he'd give her an opportunity to do so. The she could make his life wild and unpredictable and worth living if he'd let her be his wife in every sense of the word.

'Stupid, arrogant bastard,' she snarled into the darkness of her room. She closed her eyes to sleep and found images of the stupid, arrogant bastard flashing across her brain like well remembered dreams. A whimper of need rose within her and she muttered a curse before her hands crept up over her abdomen.

Her last coherent thought was that her own fingers were no substitute for his hands or any other part of his body.

end chapter nineteen.
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as always, i want to give a shout out and many warm huggles and thanks to my usual crew. they know who they are and they always keep me going. special thanks to my kitty cat and onyx, who are my sounding boards and my advisors. love you all muchlies.

also, this is entirely self-beta'd, so any mistakes you find are my own. please forgive me. i'm a mere mortal because i can't get through to the gods about getting my godhead. damn them all.

and finally:

to septention: i hope this satisfies your curiosity enjoy.

to calamitysandra: nope, i haven't abandoned this. i was just busy writing and holding out while the site was tinkered and tooled with. and i plan on writing until i finish it, so there will be more for a while. and yes, consider it done. you'll have the notification before you read this.

to Queen Celestia: i'm going as fast as i can. between the bunnies and the other stories and RL.... i'm swamped and doing my best. hope you like this.

to Kris: sadly, i like Snape as a right bastard. so, as far as i'm concerned, he isn't out of line in this. also.... he's caught in the moment. to have a woman at hand for sex when he chooses.... he's going to think with his cock for a short time. but his brain will, i'm sure, no doubt kick in eventually and he'll start thinking with that again. give the man a break. i've forgotten nothing. my characters tend to guide the story, so i write what they tell me. this is what he wants, so this is what he gets. have faith and a little patience.

to Jennifer: glad you liked it. i'm updating as fast as i can.

to mariteri: thanks for the comments. i love to add a bit of humor into everything i write, even if its dark. too much darkness can be as bad as too much....erm.... fluff. i think. and lemons will, undoubtably, be coming. but i can't say when. you know neither one of them will be able to last without the lemons.

to Miki: i think we all have some kind of OCD. i know that organization at work is one of mine. at home... well... that's another matter. .:grins:. but yes, he has been taking her for granted. and everyone is always learning something new. so we'll see what pops up. hope you like this one as well.

to Megan Consoer: i'm glad you're enjoying it and i'll do my best to fill that order. another chapter up for your enjoyment.

to Andiepants: thank you so much. i find that its impossible for me to write without wit. i hope you like this chapter too.

to Dragonero: i don't see Hermione as the type to give in so easily, even if its what she wants. its a matter of principle with her. and Snape just couldn't give in and allow her to be one up on him. i hope you like this chapter.

to Rosebery: .:blushes:. a brilliant author? thank you so much. and enjoy this chapter.

to BellaBlack: i'm glad you're enjoying it.