Why him?

It's great that people still follow this story, it might seem long, and some times boring I guess, and frustrating.
And yes, Weasley should be removed, I hate her for what she is doing, but the good always wins, right?
Thanks to everyone who reads this and for my beta who still hangs on.
oOoOoOoOo

Little did I know that that would be the last time for several months where I would have a conversation with Harry, let alone see him do anything without assistance. As Harry left me in the library alone I was more than happy about what we had done. The rest of that day and the beginning of the next was just as wonderful, until Draco came over to me and gave me the big news that had been travelling around the school like fire through dry wood. At first I didn't think it was that severe news, but quickly understood that something bad has happened.

"Yesterday they were fighting in the hallway while the game was on," Draco said, sounding incredibly bored. If I wasn't interested at what he would eventually say I wouldn't quickly have stopped him. He continued to tell me stuff that I all ready knew, like Harry was behaving strangely, and that he seemed to be gone in his own mind, and of course nobody knew what was wrong with him. I wanted to strangle Draco and everyone else who hasn't realized anything, it shouldn't be possible to be as blind since Harry is practically a celebrity. What worried me was that Weasley must have decided to give him stronger drugs, to keep him from running back to me of course.

"During his first class today he fell down on the floor and began to twist around, almost like he was in shock. The teacher took him to the infirmary after he calmed down - Pansy heard he is still unconscious. She thinks he's been bitten by one of the animals in the Forbidden Forest, seeing as Potter spends more time there than on the Quidditch pitch, you know." When Draco told me that Harry fell over my interest in the conversation hit the roof. Because nobody knew what was happening, they didn't know how bad it was, but I knew. I couldn't believe that Weasley would actually give him an overdose just so Harry wouldn't choose me.

Once Harry left me yesterday I had the feeling that something wasn't right, but I chose to ignore it, thinking that it was because I hadn't really eaten anything, and because I had just had one of the best times in the library. Sadly it was too late to do anything now, but I should have been more cautious.

"Is it over between them?" I asked hoarsely. I held my breath as Draco tried to think.

"I don't think so... The last thing I heard was that Weasley was sitting beside him in the infirmary, she won't leave his side." If I hadn't been ordered to stay away from them I would have walked straight over and kicked her out of the school. Being alone with Harry also gave her the advantage of drugging him without anyone's knowledge.

I tried to act interested in the rest of the conversation but it wasn't an easy task seeing as all Draco talked about was the game, Pansy and exams. As soon as I got the chance to move away from Draco, I did; I had more important things to do than to listen to Draco talking about himself.

*

Everything was different after Draco had told me what the big news was. I could easily recognize when people were talking about Harry, Weasley, or me. And even if I couldn't hear what they were whispering about, I knew they were thinking that I might have done something. So in the end everyone believed Weasley's version? That only made me want to expose her even more. at that moment I hated myself for not paying more attention to the drug, if I did maybe I could find what drug she was using and get her expelled.

Almost like a punishment I locked myself in the library. For days I read through books about potions, trying to find something that resembled the one Weasley had been using. I knew that the potion book must come from the school library, because Weasley would never dear to buy an illegal one, she wouldn't be able to afford it either. Sadly I couldn't find any potion that was strong enough to make Harry act the way he was acting.

After three days I began to wonder if there was any record of the potion, and then I realized that the potion wouldn't be in any ordinary book that even a first year could read, so it must be in the restricted section. If the book actually was there then I would have big problems... How could I enter a part of the school that is guarded?

I knew that if I didn't find a way to break into the restricted section I wouldn't have a chance to see Harry for a long time. I was sure that, as soon as Harry wakes up, Weasley will try everything to keep him from me again; there was no way I would lose Harry to the Weasley witch.

*

Since I realized that I had to sneak into the restricted section of the library I had to wait for an opportunity to escape the Slytherin dungeon first, it wasn't easy since Draco or Pansy always seemed to be around me. Two days later when I finally managed to sneak out from the common room to the library, I searched through the old books until I saw the sun rise again; that was when I decided to go back to the common room. On my way down I barely escaped unnoticed because Filch was more determined to catch students breaking the rules after the Weasley twins finished school.

After a whole night of searching through the old dusty books I had both good and bad news. The good news was that I found the location of the potion book, and the bad news was that the book was missing.

Because I didn't have any proof I couldn't go to the headmaster, or anyone else; not only would they not believe me, but I would be punished for being out of bed after curfew as well as having broken into the restricted section of the library. But even if I didn't have any proof I decided to go and find the Headmaster, maybe he would believe me. During breakfast I walked up to his office and requested a meeting with him, only to be told that he would be gone until next week. If he was gone it meant that I wouldn't be able to help Harry for another four days, and by that time it could be too late.

As the news about Harry travelled through the school, it never reached the Daily Prophet, strangely enough. Every day when the paper arrived at breakfast I expected a big front page story about how Harry was ill, and maybe dying, but Harry's name was never mentioned. I thought it was quite strange so I sent the headmaster several owls, hoping that one of them would reach him. I also asked two of my teachers if they knew where he was, but received no proper answer. In the end the only thing I could do was to hope he would come back before things would turn for the worse.

Maybe I shouldn't worry that much. If things were really bad then they would probably send him to St. Mungos; they wouldn't want to take any chances with the students, and especially not Harry Potter.

Every day I hoped I would see him joining everyone in the Great Hall to eat breakfast, but was disappointed every time. Only after two days did I finally see him, but even if he was awake he didn't look great. He was eating, laughing and doing everything he should do, but his eyes was as blank as the lake on a calm and cloudy day. He never showed any signs that he was really living. Even if he was back I feared for his life; he'd been sent to the infirmary once and could just as easily end up there again.

What didn't change was what the students were whispering. As always they thought a Slytherin was behind it all, unless they believed that it was an accident, like Draco thought. Before I got to know Harry I never cared about what people thought about him, but now I hated to hear people talk about him, and strangely it's not because I know they thing I am the bad guy. I hoped the headmaster would come back before things would get out of hand, like everybody believing Weasley was innocent.

*

The next day when I was walking through the school I met Weasley. I knew better than to say it was fate, especially since she was racing towards me, clearly she had been searching for me. The first thing I wanted to do when I saw her was to kill her, but I had to restrain myself; if I ended up in Azkaban I wouldn't be able to help Harry.

"I told you to stay away fom him, now look at what you've done," she said in a playful tone. It sounded like she thought it was all a game. I knew she was crazy, but hearing her blame me for Harry made me realize even more that she was quite disturbed.

"I didn't do anything and you know it." She gave me one of her sweetest smiles. If someone saw us they might think I was giving her compliments.

"I know you did it, and so do you," she said calmly. "If you stayed away from him when I told you too then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe you should stop lying to yourself and face the reality, it's all your fault." I could see the insanity that was creeping under the sweet smile, and it reminded me of Bellatrix. "If you continue that way you might kill him." I tried to hold back every emotion that was fighting to show itself, even if I wanted to pull her by her hair all the way up to the Gryffindor tower and throw her down, I had to stay calm.

"You plan to kill him?" I asked hoarsely. The sweet innocent smile changed into a dangerous, evil grin.

"You're the one who's killing him, not me."

"Why do you want to kill him?" I asked her, before answering my own question myself. "Only because you want him for yourself, right?" I knew the answer before I asked, but I wanted to be completely sure.

"If I can't have him no one can." She already expressed that she wanted to kill Harry, but when she said I couldn't have him my heart began to hurt from the mere thought of Harry being dead, pictures of his lifeless body flashed in front of me and my stomach began to twist.

"If you hurt him I'll make sure you're sent to Azkaban and receive the Dementor's Kiss." She smiled one last time before running away from me, I didn't have a chance to catch her before the hall was filled with students.

*

I thrust deep into his tight hole, relishing in the wanton whimpers that escaped Harry's mouth. Knowing that I caused them motivated me and the feeling of being inside him was making me go crazy. No sooner had I thought about my release, I came into my lover's entrance. His face below me was even more beautiful than normal; his perfectly soft cheeks had a rosy tint and his lip was red-raw from where he had bitten down onto it.

I woke up to find myself in a small pool of my own come, cursing my brain for tormenting me with such tantalizing images of Harry. Images that had to be fake. My Harry didn't have a rosy tint to his face - he was most probably pale and deathly white from the poison. His lips may be chapped, but only because of the damn drugs he was on to keep him alive. It saddened me greatly to think that I may never see him looking that healthy and beautiful again.

After a quick cleaning spell I went back to sleep since the clock showed that it was only three in the morning. This time, however, my dreams weren't haunted by Harry's angelic face. No, this time it was Weasley's horrible smiles that wouldn't leave me alone. Harry was somewhere in my dream too, or it felt like he was since Weasley was constantly talking about him. The she-devil was standing over me, even when I stood up straight she was taller than me. She was also wearing a black robe which reminded me a lot of Bellatrix the day I met her. I couldn't remember everything Weasley was saying but there was one thing I couldn't forget. She said repeatedly that she wanted to fuck me.

When I woke up the second time that night I found myself sweating from fear. I knew Weasley wouldn't want to fuck me, it was all a dream, but I had no idea why I would have such a dream. It was clearly a nightmare, even if I hadn't dreamt of anything dreadfully frightening I was still scared. I tried to understand the dream. The way she was standing over me like that looked like she was the next Dark Lord, which is bad enough considering that we still haven't gotten rid of our current Dark Lord.

I decided that, even though it was still early, I should get up. A shower would be in place since I was sweaty from two completely different dreams, one that had me sweating in pleasure, and the other one in fear. While scrubbing myself clean, I thought about the recent dream where Weasley was practically a demon, and how scared I was of her. I might have feared her in my dream, but that is all that it is, a dream. But even if I don't fear her in my awaken state I fear her actions. Harry's life is pretty much hanging on a thread, and Weasley has the scissors. But what would happen if she decided to cut the thread Harry is hanging by? What would happen then to the rest of us? This time I wasn't only thinking about my relationship with Harry, I was thinking about the Dark Lord. Everybody knows that the Dark Lord is after Harry, I have no idea why but I am sure Harry is a key to the destruction of the Dark Lord.

I hadn't thought about it before, but when I sat down to count the days I had left before the end of school, I realized it was April the first; where had the time gone? There was only three months left of school, I wondered if that would be enough time to save Harry. Would he live that long?

I told myself that I wouldn't think about the possibility of Harry dying; I won't let it come to that. But if it did then I'd be sent to Azkaban for killing Weasley. 'I'm sure that in the end someone will die, but whether it's me, Harry or Weasley, it's too early to say. I told myself again that it won't happen - I'll make sure it doesn't.