Life After Graduation

James apparated them back home, he was still unsure why Lily would be afraid to tell him that she was pregnant, and it hurt that he was the last to know. Once they landed, he set her very gently on her feet and looked at her. There was a bruise under her chin, and part of her neck that formed a handprint, and James gently placed his hand over the spot before dropping his hand. He could feel his blood beginning to boil, but he kept his cool for now. If he and Severus were ever alone in a battle, Snape would not live to tell the tale.

“What were you afraid of?” He asked Lily, trying to hide the hurt in his voice.

Lily adjusted on her feet, looking at his face, then down at his shirt that was covered in blood. She reached out to check to see if he was hurt, only to find her own hands were stained with blood, and they were throbbing. She must have cut them in a fall, or when she hopped the rusty fence. “I didn’t,” Lily started dropping her hands. “I didn’t think you were ready. We both said we don’t have the money, and aren’t ready,” she said looking at him.

James cracked a very small smile, “you still should have told me,” he said his thumb rubbing her cheek very lightly.

“I know,” Lily said pathetically. She was unable to hold his gaze for very long, since the hurt in his eyes was unbearable.

“Do you want to go find out for sure?” He asked her quietly, his hand resting gently on her cheek. His hand was cold compared to the heat of her cheek, and James wiped away a few bits of blood from her face from the scratches.

She smiled widely at him, “yes…but can I get cleaned up first?” Lily asked him looking at her hands, then toward his shirt.

“I think we both need to get cleaned up,” he remarked before leading her toward the bathroom. James quickly took the cloth from her hand, and ushered her to sit down on the commode. “Let me help,” he remarked before dampening the cloth with warm water. He kneeled in front of her and took one hand at a time, and began to wipe them clean.

Lily hissed a bit when the cloth hit her hands, the cuts weren’t too deep, but they were deep enough for the water to sting them. She watched his face full of concern as he gently cleaned up her hands. He then rose from the floor and grabbed some bandages from the medicine cabinet, and wrapped up her badly cut hands.

“I’m going to get changed,” he said as he began to unbutton his shirt. There were bloody handprints all over his back and stomach, as well as his should from Lily, he didn’t mind, but he did not want to go out into public like that.

She nodded, and then followed him out, Lily wanted to change as well. Once in the bedroom she stripped down to her underwear, and stopped to look in the full length mirror. Lily stared at her reflection for a few moments, her hand passing over her stomach as she scrutinized herself.

James had been watching her for a few moments as he buttoned up his shirt. He did not say anything, but instead just watched her look happily at herself, as she ran her hands over her stomach. James did not want to ruin that moment for her, he just stood with a smile on his face. After another few moments he walked over and placed a hand gently over her stomach causing her to jump. “Sorry love, I didn’t mean to scare you, but your happiness was too intoxicating,” he remarked before kissing her temple.

Lily just smiled lightly and looked at both of their reflections, and leaned her head back against his shoulder for a second enjoying the moment. She was unsure about being pregnant, but just seeing how they were together; she knew both of them were ready.

After both of them were fully dressed they apparated to St. Mungo’s to get the infamous test. Lily filled out the necessary paperwork, and they were escorted to the third floor, and what had to be the birthing ward. You could hear drowned out screams from one room, and a baby crying from another. “I dunno if I want one now,” Lily joked as they walked into the room.

“I don’t blame you,” James said looking down the hall before following her in. There was already a healer waiting for them, so he took a seat on the chair next to the bed, and waited for Lily’s blood to be drawn.

“I’ll be back in about thirty minutes,” the man said with a smile before slipping out of the room with the two vials of blood he took from Lily.

“What are we going to do for thirty minutes?” Lily asked James.

“We could read these very interesting posters,” James said sarcastically as he read the one right next to him on the wall. It was a picture showing the size of a baby at different stages during pregnancy.

“That will provide us with about five minutes of entertainment,” Lily remarked as she looked around the room. It was full of informational posters, as well as cartoon paintings, pictures of other babies born here, and cute fleece blankets.

Time passed by very slowly, and they had opted to talking about what they had read in the daily prophet, and saw on the news earlier that day. Finally the older healer returned with a clipboard, he was quiet, and pulled up a chair before looking at the both of them, and flipping open Lily’s file. “The results came back,” he said quietly.

Lily could feel it in her gut that they were negative, but she still prayed.

“Unfortunately they came back negative for pregnancy, your sickness seems to be a simple case of food poisoning,” he stated looking at James before looking at Lily. He closed the file and gave them a sympathetic smile before standing up. “You can take all the time you need in here, and just outside there are informational packets.” He then let himself out the door, and closed it behind him.

James was unsure what he would feel, and was thoroughly surprised when he noticed he was disappointed. “Love,” he said quietly grabbing Lily’s hand.

“I,” she said quietly looking down at her stomach before looking up at James, small tears in the corners of her eyes. Lily wanted that baby. She had become used to the fact already, even if it was only a day, of possibly being a mother, and she wanted to be one badly.

“Love, it’s alright,” he said pulling her into a hug, not sure what to say. The silence in the room was starting to get to him after a moment, and he knew it was not helping Lily. “Love, we need to get back to the Order,” he said quietly, knowing that it was the last thing she wanted to hear, but they needed to go.

Lily sniffled, already knowing they had to go. She rose from the seat, and wiped her eyes before grabbing his hand and heading out. She did not even look at the large rack of information, instead headed straight for the lobby as fast as she could. Once they could, they apparated to the Order’s head quarters. Taking a deep breath, and holding James’ hand, Lily walked in and took a seat on the loveseat next to James and avoided everyone’s eyes for as long as she could.

James noticed Sirius had moved closer to them, and he could tell by actions he was curious about the test. He just gave a curt head shake, and caught Molly looking at them too, and saw her face sink before looking to Dumbledore.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about this dear…” Dumbledore began, but Lily cut him off.

“I already know I have to tell you,” she said catching the elder man’s eyes before looking back at the room of people. Taking a deep breath Lily began to recant her story, giving all the details, well the details that mattered. Absentmindedly her hand reached up to her throat when she came to the part when Severus threw her onto the couch. It was tender to the touch, and she was sure that there was perfect bruise the shape of a handprint there.

It took all of James’ willpower to not snap there. His hands curled into fists tightly, and he was sure if it had been any tighter he would have drawn blood in his palms. He caught Sirius’ face who looked just as unhappy as he was. The marauders were like family, and Lily was an extension of that group because she was married to James.

Finally Lily finished telling her story, and the Order began to talk amongst themselves. She felt weird being there, and just wanted to go home.

“Are you ready?” James asked her tenderly, though it took everything he had not to shake with anger. When she nodded with agreement, he grabbed her hand and began to lead her out of one of the side doors. He was stopped though as he went to follow Lily through by Sirius.

“If I find him,” Sirius stated with a curt nod, catching Lily’s eye for a second before lowering his voice, “I will let you have him.” With that he turned back around casually, hoping Lily did not overhear their conversation.

----------------------

Once at home Lily went straight for their bedroom, and changed into her pajamas. She was completely worn, her day had taken a toll on her physically as well as emotionally. Lily left the bedside light on for James, but turned off the main one, because her head was pounding, and light did not help.

James followed in a few minutes later after feeding the cat, and picking the place up a bit. He tried to stay quiet because it seemed like Lily was asleep already, and James could not really blame her for that. Once changed, he crawled into bed next to her, and surprised when she opened her eyes and smiled at him. “Did I wake you love?” He asked her gently rubbing her back.

“No,” Lily replied curling up next to him, her small hands tangling in his shirt as she did so.

“You should get some sleep it’s been a long day,” James said quietly, his hands brushing the hair off her face, before gently brushing her cheek.

“I know,” she said stifling a yawn. “But I wanted to talk to you.”

James raised an eyebrow, but he was pretty sure he knew what she wanted to say. “Okay go for it.”

“It’s about the baby thing,” she said watching his eyes. When he nodded she continued. “I know we said that we were unsure, that we don’t have the money. But we don’t really have the time either…I am ready…if you are.” She was completely sincere, and honest as she talked, the tiredness gone from her face.

He listened to her, and surprised by her tone, as well as her body language. James already knew his answer by what had happened today, and how disappointed he really was when they found out she really wasn’t pregnant. “I think I am ready too.” James said with a smile before kissing her forehead lightly.

Lily’s mouth opened in shock. She was sure James would want to talk about it, and figure things out, but he was perfectly alright with the idea.

“Life is dangerous, and we don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow,” James said before pulling her closer. He could not think about what his life would be like losing her, and James did not want to. Today was a very harsh reality check.

Lily leaned up and kissed him passionately on the lips before pulling back, “I love you,” she finally said.

“I love you too,” James said quietly before reaching around her to turn off the light.