Le Frère de Sang

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GENERAL DISCLAIMER - I do not own any of the characters used.

NOTES ON THE CHAPTER - This chapter was a shock for me to write, it mostly wrote itself. I think my subconscious decided things were a little too easy for Harry and I’ve added some, slightly realistic, problems. So, again with the problems in paradise and again I show Harry’s way of dealing, or rather not dealing, with difficulties.

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I rubbed my eyes as I walked to the circus. It was just after sunset and I was on my way to see Asher. I had missed him so much, even with Micah there. I had butterflies in my stomach at the thought of seeing him. I wonder if he knew I was back in St Louis. He probably did. Even if Richard hadn’t let anyone know over the last two days Micah would have.

In the two days it had been since arriving back in St Louis I had done all the schoolwork and attended school for one day, a Friday. However, it was Saturday now and though I was still thoroughly jet lagged I hadn’t wanted to rest.

I smiled as different people greeted me as I walked into the circus. The vampire guarding the entrance let me in since I didn’t have my key and I made my way through the halls to find Asher’s room. I found it and knocked gently on the door.

What id he wasn’t there? Where would he be if he wasn’t in his rooms? Normally he would still be getting ready for the night, since the sun has only just set. Would he be at the clubs? In Jean-Claude’s rooms? With Nathaniel or Jason or Anita? Did he miss me? Would he still like to be with me? I…

“Mon petite Magicien! You have returned!” I looked up, there was Asher in all his splendour. His blonde hair flopping over the scarred half of his face, his bright blue eyes, his beauty beyond compare. He had dressed in light blue clothes made of an expensive material and in a design that looked rather difficult to remove, knee high boots and wrapped around him was a beautifully hand embroidered jacket in blue with all the details in gold and encompassing all of that was…was the worst aura I have ever encountered.

Death, horrible and dirty death hung around him. It was draped across him in a gooey, sticky black-brown sludge. It was repulsive, everything about it just made you want to step backwards, move away or move it away from you. I shrunk back a little. Bile rose in my throat, burning it. My stomach churned, muscles clenching. My magic rose, prickling beneath my skin and barely listening to my command to stay inside the core. It left my core against my will but it didn’t leave my body, any slip in my mental barriers and it would leave me though and repel Asher.

“Harry?” I gasped in a breath and looked up at Asher’s face. He looked worried and slightly hurt. I tried to push everything back, ignore the revulsion of the sticky, clingy aura. I tried to concentrate only on his beauty and even as I pushed to ignore the aura I felt sick.

“Hi.” Was all I managed before swallowing several times in quick succession. Asher gave me the barest hint of a smile that barely broke through his worry. I swallowed again and rubbed my forehead. I couldn’t stay here but…but it would hurt him if I just ran like my instincts were screaming at me to do. “I um…I should be resting but…but I wanted to let you know I was back before you found out from an outside source. I wanted to tell you myself…I wanted to see you.”

“Would you like to come in?” I looked past him and into his rooms. They were still as beautiful as ever but it was as if Anita’s aura had become visible and the black-brown sludge that oozed death seemed to cling to every wall and crawl over the ceiling while it slicked the carpets and all the surfaces. Asher had obviously seen Anita and…and from the way her aura was the most distinct on the bed they had had sex…it clung to the sofa too and to a rather long patch on the floor. From the way the bathroom door was slightly ajar and from the way the sludge bled into the room from there Asher had obviously had Anita in there too. God…her aura was draped all over him, he and his room with thick with the muck.

“I…I‘d better not. I‘m not…feeling very well. I think I‘d better go home.” I turned to walk away, my empathy picking up his palpable hurt. I winced and turned around to look at him. He was watching me carefully but his eyes were well guarded like he was hiding himself again, creating barriers to protect himself. I swallowed again and met his gaze. “I missed you. I got to London and…and I‘ll admit, at first I didn‘t think about you. I just couldn‘t bring myself to remind myself what I had left to face the nightmare that was my home. I poured all my concentration into Micah and the trial then after that into my old family. All that got me through the trial was the knowledge that no matter what Micah would help me back to St Louis, back to you. I compared everything in my old life to my life in St Louis and I missed you. I missed you being with me. Then my family turned on me, discovering I had you and all I could think was leaving them immediately and coming back here. Doesn‘t that mean something?”

“What, Harry?” I wiped my eyes. They had filled with tears and I furiously scrapped them away.

“Doesn‘t it mean something that the most important thing to me is my family but when they abandoned me I ran back here to you. Doesn‘t that mean something?! Doesn‘t it mean something that I chose this place over that? That I chose you over them? It does doesn‘t it?” I pleaded with him, still keeping my distance. I swallowed and shook my head again, looking down at my white outfit. I was wearing my white trousers and my white top again. Micah had said Asher would like me in it. Now the white just feels tarnished by the gunk of Anita’s aura. “Doesn‘t it mean something that I came back? Doesn‘t it mean something that I missed you?”

“Yes Harry, it does mean something. It means a very big something. Especially to me.” Asher answered and took a step forwards. I took one back to counteract to the sudden closeness of the vile death that hung around Asher. I nodded to him though and rubbed my face again, my eyes and cheeks itching from the tears.

“Did you miss me Asher? Did you think about me and did you miss me?” Had he been me, had he left would he have come back? “If it was you…if it was you would you have missed me? Would you have come back to me? Had I stayed in London, would you have come to see me, to get me?”

“I…” I cut him off and turned slightly so I was side ways on to him.

“I‘m sorry. I‘m tired, I‘m going…” I paused and sighed defeated. “I‘m going back home, to Richard‘s house. I‘ll come back and see you soon when…when…” Could I give him a hint to what was irritating me? Would I cause him hurt? Would it be pushing him away? Did it matter? After all, I’d left and he’d gone straight back to Anita…her essence lined his walls, his bed and his body. It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d been with Anita in my absence, hell I’d returned and found them at it. Though it had pushed me and Micah together…Micah…My shining light all through my stay in London. Perhaps I could go see him.

“I will see you soon, when I don’t feel like I’m at Death’s door.” I looked past Asher and stared at his doorway before flicking my eyes back to him. Would he catch the reference? He jerked ever so slightly, bringing his arms forward a little. Yes he understood…I turned and left hurrying round the corner even as I delved into my magic and pulled it to me for an apparation.

I landed in an alleyway not too far from Micah’s house. I leaned heavily against the wall. Merlin…I know he loved her. Hell, everyone seems to love her. Except for me. And Richard I suppose, he dislikes her. Actually, he probably does love her he’s just furious at her and rebelling against the idea of being trapped in a triumverate with her and Jean-Claude. But still, everyone loves her despite. Am I to forever be reminded by that? My guardian loves her, my lover loves her, my boyfriend loves her, my housemate loves or loved her, my friends love her…She’d forever haunt me wouldn’t she?

I pushed down all those thoughts. I couldn’t stop people from loving her, there must be something about her that makes them all love her. It’s a shame I have never seen a good side of her. The death that always surrounds her, her gifts, make me ill. My thoughts turned to Micah, he had been my shining light through the ordeal that was London. He was my knight, he kept me strong. I’d go and see him, perhaps bask in the fact that he liked to hold me, touch me and kiss me.

I walked out of the alley and towards his house, the house his pard shared with him. Pard politics were far too complicated for me, as were pack politics. The most I was aware of was Micah was the king and Anita was…was the queen despite her not being a were. I also knew that Nathaniel was near the bottom of the hierarchy. Just the fact there was a hierarchy grated on my nerves but still, I couldn’t change it so there was no point in whining about it.

I rang the doorbell to Micah’s house and waited. A lock rattled, the handle turned and the door opened. It was only open one centimetre when death, slime and arousal hit me. I slammed up my empathy blocks and my occulumency shields to the max but still the death and dirt filled my senses. The door fully opened and Micah was stood there, his shirt undone and his jeans on. His hair was mussed, he looked tired but from the marks on him he’d been having sex. Death clung to him just as it had to Asher. He was coated in it, from head to toe. That horrible thick, moving slime dribbled all over him, consuming him but he seemed so unaware.

“Ah!” I threw myself away from him, doubling over and completely unable to stop the vomit this time. I threw up in the flowers, clutching my stomach as all my muscles clenched and I retched. I balanced myself on one arm as the stone pathway pressed against my knees.

“Harry!” A hand touched my back, the death on the hand spreading more revulsion through my body, forcing my body to try to eject everything. I felt my muscles tighten everywhere and warm wetness crept over the front of my trousers. I tried consciously to clench all my muscles down there and stop my body from ejecting anything else but as more wetness filled my underwear I lost the will to try. My magic sprung up, spreading out around me and the hand that was on me was thrown away. I swallowed over and over trying to stop myself from vomiting but a piece of half digested food got stuck in my throat and made me gag again throwing up more food.

I glimpsed Micah once again in the doorway with his hands up against a seemingly invisible magical barrier. He was slamming his hands against it, his mouth was moving and from the tautness in his neck I could tell he was yelling but no sound reached my ears. A fresh wave of death swept over me, it oozed across the ground in thickness I’d not felt before. I felt the clean, untainted area around me slowly disappear and just as it became so thick in the air I saw Anita walk out of the house dressed in only a long shirt and holding a gun. Her hair was messed up, he neck littered with small marks and her thighs had something white over them.

“Stay away from me.” I croaked looking directly at Micah and Anita. Anita frowned slightly, put the gun away and made to step forwards. I threw my hand up and myself backwards so I fell onto my bum. “STAY BACK!”

“…” Her mouth moved but I couldn’t hear anything. I tried to clear my head by shaking it and it cleared slightly letting her voice reach me. “sick, lets get you inside and clean you up.”

“No! I‘m not going anywhere with you! God you‘re…” Tears burst from my eyes and I looked around me desperately. Coldness clutched in my heart. It was like seeing Blaise die all over again, the pain was so deep and piercing and cold. She was everywhere…I could never escape. “No matter where I go…who I‘m with death always follows me but not only that you now get there before me! Stay away from me. Leave me alone! Never come near me again.”

“Harry…”

“No!” I screamed as Micah made to speak. I glared at him. “Stay away from me…both of you! Stay away!”

I pulled my magic to me, sent some to clean up my vomit, more to clean up the urine on the floor and the rest to apparate me straight to the bathroom in Richard’s house. I collapsed to the floor. Despair clutched at me, pain shot through me and a loss…a loss so similar to Blaise’s screeched inside me. I curled into a ball, hugging my knees to me, resting my head against them. I could smell vomit on my breath, could smell urine on me and could taste sweat in my mouth as well as smell and feel it on me. Gods…I was destined to be alone…death took everyone from me then kept me from everyone.

“Harry?! Is that you?” I threw my hand out in a panic and the door locked, magic strengthening it so it couldn’t be knocked down either. Someone, Richard, slammed on the door. “Harry? Can you hear me? I can smell you, are you okay? What‘s the matter Harry? Please, talk to me!”

“What‘s the point?” I called out to him. “Why should I bother? There‘s no point anymore.”

“Please Harry, just come out and lets talk.” I sobbed some more and shook my head against my knees. There was no point. There really wasn’t. What could he say to me? Blaise was gone and…and Asher and Micah so contaminated by death, by Anita, that I was alone. “Please Harry, come on. I‘m here, I‘m here for you just like before but you need to come and talk to me. I can help Harry, come out please!”

“Oh god…” I sobbed, my breath catching in my lungs and in my throat. I sucked in air more and swallowed only to gag again at the taste in my mouth. Disgusting. I stood up and lurched towards the sink, grabbing the porceline hard in my fists. I snatched my toothbrush and the toothpaste from the ledge and scrubbed my teeth hard. I spat out the toothpaste, swilled my mouth out and then cleaned my teeth again. Then I saw my reflection in the mirror.

I had black bags under my eyes, the once bright green once again dulled with pain. Tear tracks had marked their paths down my cheeks. My hair had bits of dirt in, my white clothes ruined with sweat prints, urine stains and flecks of vomit. Not to mention of course the death that, while diluted, marred me still.

“Damn her!” I spun away from the mirror and tore off my clothes throwing them to the floor in a pile and shooting a loud ‘incendio’ at them. They blazed into ashes and the fire went out only five seconds later not having affected the tiles or floor. I stepped into the shower and turned on the spray, turning the temperature right up. I grabbed the soap and scrubbed my body, scratching any dirt, real or imaginary, off of me. Then I shampooed my hair, three times before scrubbing my body again in case any dirt from my hair had dripped onto my body in the soap suds. Then I cast cleansing charm after cleansing charm after cleansing charm to erase any and all dirt. Finally feeling clean I grabbed the conditioner and rubbed it into my hair, grabbed a flannel and scrubbed at my face one last time, cast one more cleansing charm at my back and my legs before turning off the shower.

I grabbed two towels from the rack, casting cleaning charms on them as I did so. I wrapped one around my hair and the other around my body. I was about to step out of the shower then started shooting more cleansing charms around the room. Any and all dirt disappeared. The lime scale around the taps disappeared, the urine marks on the toilet from where some of the guys missed when peeing vanished, dust disappeared, the condensation in the air became nonexistent and all traces of scum banished. Every surface became sterilized, the air left with no traces of dirt and everything sparkled. The only things that marred everything now was my magical signature and even that became nonexistent as I pulled all my magic into my body taking my signature with it.

“Harry?” I gulped and looked at the door. Richard was still waiting for me? I pulled the towel around my body tighter and sank to the floor of the showed, pulling my knees to my chest again. Since I’d cleaned any traces of water were gone too so I wasn’t sat in a puddle. Richard was outside…I was trapped in the bathroom wrapped in only a towel because all my clothes were in my room and Richard was between my room and me. “Harry please! Let me in Harry! I‘m worried about you, please!”

“Just leave me alone Richard. Please?” I rubbed my face again as my weak voice reached my ears. I sounded so defeated…I felt so defeated. I want to be left here in this room of complete cleanness. “I want to be left alone.”

“There‘s just you and me in the house Harry. No-one else is here. I kicked out my pack and they‘ve gone to spread the word that no-one is to come here. It‘s just you and me. But I need you to come out. I can‘t help through a door. Please Harry. Let me help you.”

“I…please Richard?”

“No Harry, I‘m not leaving you. You‘re stuck with me kid. Please, just let me in and we‘ll talk.” I raised my hand. It shook in the air. Each of my fingers trembled, my arm tingled with the effort. I gave my wrist a flick then allowed my hand to drop. Just that small motion hurt as if I’d over-flexed or hyper-extended myself. The magic on the door was cancelled though and immediately the handle was pushed down and the door flew open.

Tears filled my eyes and then spilled down my cheeks within seconds. Every time someone had opened a door today all I had seen and felt was death but now…Richard stood there in the doorway. His dark brown eyes and his brown, honey, copper, gold and bronze hair warmed up his expression even though the main emotion was worry. He was still as tall and as broad and as strong as always and his aura told me of his power and his wolf. But the best bit…the best bit even as he stared at me in amazement and worry and perhaps even paternal love…the best bit was that there was no trace of Anita on him.

“R-R-R-Rich-ard…” My voice came out as a whimper, a plea and a cry of relief and need. More tears spilled from my eyes and my body shook as sobs tore through it. I shuddered and jerked as I put my head in my hands and hid my face as I cried.

“It‘s alright, it‘s going to be okay.” Large, strong hands gripped my shoulders and I was gently pulled forwards. Richard drew me in, wrapped himself around me and gripped me tightly. He pushed my head into his chest and his grip was like steel encasing me. A cheek rested on my head but that didn’t matter. His words didn’t matter, his grip didn’t matter, his strength didn’t matter…what mattered was that he was there and he wasn’t contaminated. “Let it all out it‘s going to be fine…shh…”

“She…she‘s everywhere Richard! Everywhere!” I sniffed and coughed, choked and whimpered. “I went to see Asher and she was all over him. Her dirt, her death her-her-her filth. It was dribbling all over Asher, staining his hair, his face, his clothes. His room was coated in it, nowhere left untouched. She contaminated it all! Then…th-th-then I w-went to see Micah and…and she was there too! Everywhere! Her stench all over him, wrapping him up and consuming him like the blob does in the horror movies. Then she appeared too bringing more of her death with her and I….it was horrible! Why does she have to be everywhere, contaminate everything! Why did she have to touch and ruin it all?! Why did she have to be so…so selfish?! She has everyone! She touches everyone, absolutely everyone! She has Asher, Micah, Nathaniel, Jean-Claude, Damian….everyone! Nothing escapes her! She‘s everywhere, all the time and it…it was never this bad before…never but I feel her touch on everything and it‘s horrible!”

Richard held me as I sobbed and blubbered it all out. He rubbed my back and made small sounds to show he was listening, occasionally making a comment here and there but mostly just listening and holding. Finally I calmed down though my breath kept catching in my throat. My limbs were heavy from the lack of oxygen. My eyes were sore, heavy and tired. My heart was weary. My mind ill at rest.

The phone rang. It rang and rang and then it rang off. Then Richard winced and shook his head slightly. Then the phone rang once more.

“That‘s Anita.” He said and my body jerked violently. He tightened his grip. “I have a connection with her but you said I‘m not touched by her?”

“You aren‘t, her aura hasn‘t contaminated you so you haven‘t been near her. The mind connection has nothing to do with her death though if I were to go inside your mind I would feel her, feel her death.”

“Hm.” Richard hummed and we both went silent again. The phone continued to ring then went to answer machine and Anita’s voice rang out.

“Richard! Harry just left here rather ill! Pick up the phone! We need to know if he‘s with you! I know you‘re at home Richard! Pick up! PICK UP DAMN IT AND TALK TO ME!” I lifted my hand and threw some magic at the phone. The phone was flung across the room, it’s connection to the socket broken thus ending the phone call.

“Harry…” His tone was warning. I shrunk against him, curling in on myself more.

“I didn‘t break it…just stopped it.” A melody from further in the house started and both Richard and I winced. It was his mobile.

“I‘d better answer and you had better get dressed. I‘ll make sure Anita is aware that neither she nor any of the others are to come to the house. Go. I‘ll be back with you in a minute.” He pulled me to my feet and supported me as I walked unsteadily out of the bathroom.

“Thank you Richard.” Richard just nodded to me and left me at the doorway to my room, running to pick up his mobile. I stumbled inside my bedroom and yanked open the chest of drawers. I found a pair of sweat pants, underwear and a t-shirt. I pulled them all on and banished both towels to the bathroom. I pulled a brush through my hair and stared at my reflection.

I still looked tired, tired and drawn out. How could I have lost everything I held dear so quickly and to one person as well? Why did Anita have to be so selfish to have everyone? Why couldn’t she be happy with one or two of them instead of having to have everyone? Why did people…why did Asher and Micah love her so much? When all I feel from her is death and grime…

“Harry? Lets get you something to eat yeah?” I nodded to Richard and followed him into the kitchen. He pulled out a pair of steaks from the fridge and threw them on the grill. I prepared the veg and we worked in compatible silence for a while until Richard broke it.

“I spoke to Anita. I made it very clear that you weren‘t in a fit state to see anyone and that they were all to stay away from my house and from you. I made sure Anita passed on the message that if anyone had come near you then there would be trouble and I‘d call on my allies against them. They didn‘t like that threat, especially Jean-Claude but have agreed to keep their distance and respect yours and my wishes. They‘ll leave you alone.”

“Thank you.” I muttered. Then I sighed. “It‘s just…before London I was okay with Asher loving Anita. Sure, I thought it was nasty the way Anita is ‘with‘ everyone but I could accept that. I suppose I‘d grown used to her…to her aura. Perhaps the time away has acted like a detox and now I‘m just as sensitive, if not more, to her aura as I was when I first met her.”

“Perhaps. But I‘ll admit to finding other scents all over her setting off my disgust so I can understand how you feel. I can sense other‘s taint on her, I suppose I’m the same as you except you feel hers on others.” I nodded and continued with the food. While it was cooking we sat at the table.

“Richard? Do you think…one day after school could I go back to my flat?” I asked and Richard frowned at me. “I‘d like to see it again, I have only been there three times since Blaise died. It would be good to go there and face it and perhaps…I like the flat but it‘s not being lived in so perhaps I should rent it out or sell it.”

“I‘ll take you there.” Richard nodded carefully. “I don‘t know what to suggest as far as selling or renting though. Just see how you feel when you go back there.” I nodded again and we slipped into quiet companionship.

He left me alone for the night after we had eaten so I returned to my room and pulled out some parchment. It meant a lot to me that Richard was there, particularly after the rough start we had had together, but perhaps it would be best to talk to people who had succeeded at a relationship when everything was against them. Though my relationship troubles are…were different to theirs perhaps they could offer me advice…as well as some family compassion. I had no owl to use but from Blaise I had learned of a way to send mail, I could apparate it to it’s destination. Despite being unable to apparate a human successfully over such a long distance you could send small objects especially since if the small object got blown up it wouldn’t be life threatening…hopefully.

Dear Percy and Julien.

I’m sorry for leaving as abruptly as I did, especially after finding you still considered me family. My wish to return where it was safe, back to St Louis, overpowered everything else. So for that I apologise.

When I got here I was welcomed back by the man I share my house with and settled straight back into my old routine, without going back to school immediately. I’ll admit, my jet lag this time around is far more noticeable than when Blaise and I first arrived in America. It’s nice to be home…or at least it was. I have another reason for writing not just to tell you about my jet lag and my safe arrival.

I didn’t go to see my lover immediately when I got back. I was exhausted from the trip, not to mention my housemate had collected all my work and home work from school and given it to me when I came back. I left it a day and then went to see him. I really wish I hadn’t now. I don’t know if you have ever met a Necromancer before but there is one who lives in St Louis and every time I’m around her I have a bad reaction. Her aura feels literally like death, it reminds me of the impurity of Voldemort every time I am near. It’s like a horrible stench except without a smell. I can’t stand being around her so I avoid her at all costs.

My problem is my lover still loves her and when he’s ‘been’ with her, her aura clings to him like a limpet, dribbling all over him and coating him with vileness. I told him when we first got together that I wouldn’t stop him loving her to be with me, who am I to stop the one emotion that helped me live, that saved my life when I was a baby? Still because he was ‘with’ her when I was away it made me sick just to be meters from him. So I left after a very short hello. Then I went to see Micah, the man you met when I came to England. I needed a friend who didn’t mind my relationship with my lover but no sooner had he opened the door to greet me did I realise that he had ‘been’ with the necromancer as well. She was all over him, her aura that is. She was all over the house and then she walked into the doorway as I was being sick from just being around the aura.

I feel really betrayed now and really alone. The two people I could count on in St Louis to care for me were both sleeping with the necromancer. I shouldn’t feel so betrayed I know, because I can’t bring myself to stop them loving her. My problem I suppose is that along with my sickness at her aura I now have bad feelings towards her as a person. I feel she is selfish for having a relationship with so many here. Hell, the man who is my guardian here loves her and sleeps with her, my housemate used to be engaged to her, my friend Micah loves her and sleeps with her, my lover loves and sleeps with her, my friend sleeps with her, a man who looks remarkably like my mother loves and sleeps with her…there are few people she hasn’t slept with as far as my acquaintances go. She has slept with nearly all the people I know. She seems to taint everything. The only good thing that has come out of her sleeping with everyone I know is that my housemate greatly dislikes her now and has helped me and comforted me.

I need your advice on what to do next. I feel strongly for my lover and for Micah but I am jealous and hurt. I feel like just giving up with them both…hell, give up with everyone I know and leaving to find someone else and somewhere else to live. What should I do? Is any relationship worth pursuing when they continue to sleep with the necromancer? Any advice you can give me I’d appreciate.

I just wish Blaise was here. I miss having a brother, and while I have the both of you, you are a long way away. Please reply quickly, I know I’ve just moaned and whinged but I really need your advice, you are the only ones I can turn to. I’ll put a portkey to me that you can attach to a letter, there’s also a spare for the future.

I sighed it then stood back, summoning my wand to me. I pointed it at the parchment and it folded and sealed itself with two stickers that would act as port keys. Then I concentrated on sending it to Percy and Julien, I concentrated on their kitchen table in their house where they would surely see it. Ten minutes later the letter disappeared with a ‘pop’ and I sat down heavily on my bed. Concentrating for so long can really take it out of you.

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