Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

iGlow - I have replied to your message at the end of the previous chapter. Thanks to everyone, as always, for your comments.

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Here By My Side
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Remus looked out of the cracked window of Gryffindor Tower to the grounds below. He tried to tell himself that if he didn’t look round then it wouldn’t be real. If he simply kept looking anywhere else, then it wouldn’t be true. He’d just be sitting in a room with his brother, and any moment now Romulus would lean over and ruffle his hair affectionately, just like he always did. He just had to keep telling himself this, even if it was all lies.

“I’d hoped it would have been a few more years before they found us,” Romulus explained sadly.

“It had to happen sooner or later,” Remus replied dully. “They’ve been looking for us for so many years.”

“I never meant to leave you for so long either,” Romulus continued. “A few days, a week at the most, and I’d have come back for you. But every time I thought I’d lost them, I’d spy another Auror hard on my heels.”

“It’s not your fault,” whispered Remus, still looking out the window. He wanted to tell Romulus to shut up and stop talking about it. Maybe then he could pretend it hadn’t happened, that it wasn’t real, that he wasn’t living in the middle of his worst nightmare.

“It’s not yours either,” Romulus told him sternly.

“I should be heading back to the forest.” Remus sighed, but didn’t move from his position on the window seat.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Sirius announced from the doorway.

“The rest of the school will be back tomorrow,” Remus pointed out. “I have to get out of here before it gets too difficult to slip away with being seen. You said Professor Spion would be coming back on the Hogwart’s Express with the other kids.”

“He is,” Sirius confirmed with a nod. “He’s been at the Ministry over the holidays. He was bragging before we broke up for the holidays about how they’d captured a really vicious werewolf named Greyback. He wanted to be there when they interrogated him.”

“I have to be out of here before he gets back. The weather’s a bit better now. I…”

“You’re not going back to the forest,” repeated Sirius. He placed the tray of food from the kitchens down on the bedside table, a little more harshly than was necessary and the pumpkin juice spilt over slightly onto the tray.

“You got any better ideas?” asked Remus scornfully. He pointedly ignored the food that Sirius had brought him. It was no use getting used to such fine meals when he knew that there would be no more forthcoming.

“You can stay here,” Sirius said, as though this was a rather obvious solution that Remus had simply overlooked due to some form of short-sightedness.

“You think your friends won’t notice the werewolf in the spare bed?” Remus snapped sarcastically.

“I’ll hex them into the middle of next week if they –”

“Sirius,” Remus interrupted with a sigh of frustration. “You can’t just hex everyone forever.”

“Remus is right,” Romulus agreed, a hint of pride in his voice. “You’ve both been too quick to draw wands instead of finding a better way to work things out.”

“Then you agree I should go back to the forest?” Remus turned to his brother for the first time and was surprised to see him shaking his head.

“It might have stopped raining, but its still winter and you’re far from well.”

“I can’t stay here,” Remus pointed out, much as he would have loved to remain in Gryffindor Tower.

“Yes, you can,” Sirius replied. “The dorm’s empty most of the day, no one will even know you’re here. Romulus can lurk about and let you know if someone’s heading this way. It’ll give you plenty of time to hide.”

“What about at night?” Remus asked sarcastically. “You going to convince the others to sleep in the common room or something?”

“I always sleep with the drapes closed,” Sirius explained. “At least since that first week, when I found out having an advance warning of their approach would be a good idea.” He pulled at the nearest bed curtain, demonstrating the loud rattling noise it made as he pulled it closed. “They won’t bother to look inside the curtains. They won’t even know you’re here.”

“And where were you planning on sleeping?”

“Erm…” Sirius faltered and shrugged his shoulders, glancing back at his bed. He wasn’t entirely thrilled with the idea of sharing his bed with Remus, especially considering the type of dreams he’d been having lately. But Remus couldn’t stay in the spare bed without being seen by the other boys.

“Pity I can’t use this one,” Remus muttered, kicking out a leg at the extra four-poster bed. “It’s already here and no one’s using it.”

“I asked about it once,” Sirius commented as he sat on the bed in question. “Professor McGonagall said that Dumbledore had said to keep the bed in here even though no one was using it. When she’d asked about it, he’d said something about spare beds sometimes being useful, and something about a fire.”

“He set the bed curtains on fire once,” Romulus explained. “It’s a rumour that’s been going round for years, and every now and then someone gets dared to ask him about it. He used to be quite a rebel in his day.”

“You really think I could stay in here without them knowing about it?” Remus sounded doubtful, Sirius didn’t blame him. He wasn’t entirely sure they could pull it off either.

-o-xXx-o-

“Budge over,” Sirius hissed quietly as he and Remus wrestled with the heavy crimson covers on the bed.

“Sorry,” Remus mouthed, not entirely sure that the other boys were asleep, despite the snores that said they were. The last thing they wanted to do was risk waking the sleeping Gryffindors.

James and Peter had arrived back at Hogwarts with the rest of the school shortly before dinner. Sirius had skipped the back to school feast, which was really another Christmas dinner especially made for those students who, for whatever reason, had been unable to have Christmas dinner at home. Sirius had given it a miss and had instead appropriated food from the kitchens, and he and Remus had eaten in the dormitory.

They hadn’t needed Romulus to tell them when the rest of the Gryffindors returned to the tower, the sounds from the common room had drifted up the stairs as the school came to life once more.

Remus had slipped into the boys’ bathroom, just down the corridor from the dormitory, while Sirius had gone to mingle in the common room. Romulus had disappeared in order to find out what Professor Spion was up to, and to keep from raising the suspicions of the Gryffindors as to why a new ghost had suddenly appeared in their tower…in particular one that might be surprisingly familiar to James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.

Sirius had promised to keep James and Peter talking in the common room for at least an hour, giving Remus plenty of time to bathe, change the dressings on his wounds, and sneak back into the dormitory. By the time Sirius and the others returned to the dorm, Remus should be safely hidden behind the bed curtains and no one would be any the wiser to his presence.

It hadn’t worked exactly like a charm, a telltale sneeze from Remus, even though it was hastily stifled, caused Sirius’s heart to speed up. Thankfully James and Peter had both been looking away from him, and Sirius had managed to convince them that the sneeze had come from himself, despite his being on the opposite side of the room to Remus.

But the worst was over, and now all they had to do was keep up the deception for as long as it took.

“Sirius?” Remus whispered.

“What?”

“Do you think ghosts get a second chance to move on?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius admitted. “There’re a few ghosts here, but I’ve never asked them that.”

“I don’t want Rom to be stuck here forever,” Remus explained, needlessly. Sirius knew how much Remus was worrying about what his brother had chosen to do. He was blaming himself, and there was very little that Sirius could do or say to ease his friend’s mind.

“Have you asked him?” Sirius queried.

Remus shook his head silently.

“You’ll have to talk to him properly at some point.”

“I don’t want to,” Remus admitted. He averted his eyes rather than look at Sirius.

“Why not? He’s still your brother. He might be hurt if you keep ignoring him, especially when he’s given up so much for you.”

“If I talk to him, it means it’s really happening,” Remus whispered. “It means he’s really…” His voice trailed off, unable to complete the sentence due to the tears in his throat.

“Ignoring Rom won’t make it any less real,” Sirius pointed out.

“I know,” Remus whispered as the tears started to fall again.

Sirius pulled the other boy close as he began to sob again.

“You must think I’m a right cry-baby,” Remus sniffed a few minutes later.

“No, I don’t,” Sirius replied quietly. “But you have to talk to him.”

Remus nodded. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

-o-xXx-o-

“Did you sneak out over the holidays?” James asked as they made their way to Herbology.

“What’s it to you?” Sirius asked, his usual reply to questions of this nature. James questioned him about his trips into the forest far more frequently than Sirius would have liked. Sirius was starting to wonder if James was becoming as obsessed with Remus as he was. It seemed that no amount of brushing off was convincing James to mind his own business.

“Just trying to make conversation,” replied James with an easy shrug. “So, did you?”

“Yes.” There was no point in denying it. James would easily have guessed that Sirius would have taken the golden opportunity of the holidays to slip away from Hogwarts.

“I was telling my parents about how Professor Spion is really focusing on werewolves,” James continued, ignoring Sirius’s curtness. “My dad says he’s well known for working with them.”

“And your point is?”

“My dad doesn’t like him much,” James offered with an uneasy smile that was really more of a grimace. “Thinks he sticks too close to the rule book or something.”

Sirius snorted. “Sounds like your dad’s got more brains than you.”

“Hey! I’m trying to apologise here.”

“Is that what you call it?” Sirius laughed humourlessly.

“Look, I’m trying to make things right,” James hissed. “We were getting on better last year, weren’t we?”

Sirius nodded.

“Maybe next time you go visit Remus,” he stressed the name to show that he was no longer referring to him as the werewolf, “me and Peter could come with you.”

“No chance.” Sirius shook his head.

“Fine.” James forced a smile. “If you change your mind, let us know.”

Sirius ignored him as they stepped inside the rather stuffy greenhouse four. Not that it wouldn’t make things a great deal easier to have James and Peter on side, but there was no way he was going to trust the abrupt change of heart. Professor Spion said that werewolves were sly and deceptive, but it seemed to him that the werewolf hunters were just as bad, if not even worse.

-o-xXx-o-

“You ready to talk yet?” Romulus asked a moment after he’d appeared in the dormitory.

Remus nodded and forced himself to take a good look at his brother. He’d changed in the few months they’d be separated from each other. His hair, normally worn short, was now barely an inch from brushing his shoulders. He was thinner, too, clearly the meals in Azkaban weren’t anything to write home about. He looked older, tired, and there was a smattering of stubble along his normally clean-shaven jaw. Remus cringed at what he saw, blaming himself yet again for everything.

“Stop that,” Romulus ordered affectionately.

“I’m not doing anything!”

“You’re blaming yourself again,” Romulus accused. “I know you well enough to recognise the signs.”

“How can I not?” Remus whispered. “If it weren’t for me, you’d still be alive.”

“Remus.” Romulus hesitated and Remus looked up to meet his brother’s eyes. “I made this choice, with my eyes wide open. I knew what I was getting into, and I’d do it all over again if I had to.”

“But you’ll be stuck like this…” Remus waved his hand in a helpless gesture, his words failing him. “You won’t be able to move on or…”

“Remus, don’t,” Romulus said with a shake of his head. “I’m not here to make you feel guilty, and I don’t want to talk about what may happen years down the line.”

“So, why are you here?”

“Because you need me,” Romulus replied simply.

“I’m doing okay,” muttered Remus defensively. “It’s just a bit harder than I thought it would be.”

“Oh, Rem,” Romulus sighed. “You’re doing great, and I’m really proud of how well you’ve managed. But, like it or not, you still need me. Now, go get that book on healing potions from the shelf over there.”

Remus frowned and looked at the shelf Romulus was pointing at. “You’re not going to give me lessons, are you?”

“Well, yeah,” Romulus muttered with a roll of his eyes. “It’s the book on the end; now hurry up, so we can get started.”

“But…?”

“But nothing,” Romulus retorted. “You’ve probably been slacking off for months, now you don’t have any excuse. It’s not like I’ve got to go to work.”

Remus sighed, but got up to go fetch the book from the shelf near Sirius’s bed.

“Looks like he’s got the newest edition,” Romulus commented as Remus skimmed the contents list. “Chapter six was the last one we looked at, I’m guessing you haven’t looked at seven yet, right?”

Remus flushed and turned to chapter seven. “Blood replenishing potions,” he began, familiar boredom already settling over him as he read the dry and tedious passage aloud.

The two brothers passed the morning by reading through chapter seven, with Remus trying to memorise what the practical lessons entailed.

It was nearly lunchtime when he heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs below. Romulus disappeared for a moment, before returning to confirm that it was Sirius. Remus breathed a sigh of relief and hopped back onto the bed.

“How’s it going?” Sirius asked, poking his head round the door.

“He’s bored,” Romulus replied with a shrug.

“I just don’t see the point,” Remus complained. “Even if I knew all this stuff, it wouldn’t be any use without a cauldron and all the ingredients.”

“There’s a spare cauldron under the bed,” Sirius said. “There’s also a bunch of the basic ingredients for the standard healing potions in a box down there.”

“You don’t mind me using your stuff?” Remus asked, his eyes already lighting up at the idea of doing something practical instead of just reading about it.

“The ingredients are from Madam Pomfrey, and she knows they’re for you. Just don’t make the strength-restoring potion yet. It’s only good for a few days as it grows weaker over time. We’ll have to make that nearer to the full moon.”

Remus nodded his agreement, trying not to feel jealous at the smile Romulus cast in Sirius’s direction. There was a certain amount of pride in that gaze, as though Sirius had impressed him. He wished he could evoke that type of reaction from Romulus. He knew his brother was proud of him, he’d said so just that morning; but when it came to the lessons he felt sure he was a disappointment.

“Where are your books on Charms?” Romulus asked Sirius.

“In my trunk,” Sirius replied. “Is that what you’re going to be working on this afternoon?”

Romulus nodded as Sirius dug out his textbooks and passed them up to Remus. “I think we’ll start with a refresher on concealment charms.”

Remus sighed again.

“Here.” Sirius dug his wand out of his robes and passed it to Remus. “You can borrow mine for the afternoon.”

“Don’t you need it?” Remus asked, holding the wand tentatively nonetheless.

“Not this afternoon,” Sirius explained. “I’ve got double History of Magic – boring lectures and never any practical – and Ancient Runes – again all writing.”

“I always thought lessons at Hogwarts would be exciting,” Remus said with a frown.

“Some of them are,” Sirius replied. “I tend to have all my practical classes like Potions and Transfiguration in the mornings, and written stuff in the afternoons. If you do the opposite you can borrow my wand in the afternoons.”

“You’ve got this all worked out, haven’t you?” Remus commented with a smile.

“Pretty much,” Sirius grinned back. “I just need to find a way to stop you hogging the covers at night.”

“Git!” Remus laughed. Even Romulus was chuckling.

Lunch passed companionably. Sirius appropriated plenty of food from the kitchens for the two of them. If he tried really hard, Remus could almost believe that they were back in Hogsmeade, sitting around the kitchen table. Only Romulus’s ghostly presence shattered the illusion.

Sirius soon disappeared back to class, and Remus returned to his own lessons.

“I wish I could join the rest of the school in class,” Remus commented idly as he flicked through the Charms textbook.

“I know, Rem, I know,” Romulus replied.

-o-xXx-o-

“Potter!”

Sirius opened his eyes at the sound of a very irate female voice screaming outside the dormitory. It was Saturday morning and he had been looking forward to sleeping in. He’d not slept particularly well all week; the strangeness of having Remus curled up beside him had kept him awake until the early hours of the morning. He had been particularly wakeful on Friday night, although he had eventually drifted off to sleep long after Remus’s soft snores had begun.

He wasn’t particularly surprised to find that Remus had moved closer to him during the night. Remus’s head was resting on his shoulder and one of his arms was flung across his chest. All in all, Sirius was not in the most comfortable of positions when he woke, and Remus – highly irritatingly – was blissfully sleeping through the screeching.

“Potter! You should have been on the pitch ten minutes ago. Get your lazy ass out of bed and down there now!”

Sirius listened to the yelling coming from outside the dormitory door, the noise punctuated by the loud banging of fists on the wood. He recognised the voice as being that of Charlene “Charlie” Grahams, a Quidditch mad girl who was Beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

Remus wasn’t the only one who was managing to sleep through the yelling; it seemed that James was equally oblivious.

“If you don’t appear in the next ten seconds, I’m going come in and drag you down to the pitch in your pyjamas! Ten…nine…eight…”

“James, get up you git,” Peter called. “We don’t want her in here.”

“…five…four…”

“James!” Peter’s call was accompanied by a thump that sounded suspiciously like a textbook being thrown across the room.

“…two…one…that’s it, Potter!”

Sirius heard the sound of the door crashing open, this particular bang coaxing Remus to wake up.

“Wha-” he began, but was stopped by Sirius’s hand covering his mouth. Remus nodded once, and Sirius took his hand away once he knew that Remus was awake enough to realise it was important he keep quiet.

Remus was also awake enough to notice that he was practically lying on top of Sirius and he began to edge away from him. Unfortunately the tangle of sheets hindered his movements and he had barely put a couple of inches between them when the bed curtains flew open.

“I warned you –” began Charlene, only to falter when she realised her mistake. “Who the heck are you?”

“That’s Sirius’s bed,” explained Peter, his own view of the bed hindered by the angle of the beds and the rest of the still-closed curtains.

“I’m not talking about Sirius,” Charlene replied impatiently.

“Then, who are you-?” James asked, as he stumbled out from behind his own bed curtains, tugging on his shoes as he did. “Bloody hell!”

Sirius was straining to reach his wand before James had recovered from his shock.

From the corner of his eye, Sirius could see just Peter leaning out of his bed at a dangerous angle in order to see what Charlene and James were looking at.

“Is that the-” Peter began, but a quick Silencio from Sirius halted the rest of his sentence.

He turned to Charlene. “Get out,” he ordered.

Charlene looked hesitant.

“Go on, Charlie,” James said with a nod. “I’ll be down on the pitch in a few minutes.”

“Sirius?” Remus whispered.

“It’s okay,” Sirius replied, his eyes not leaving James.

“But who is he?” Charlene asked, pointing at Remus. “Is he new?”

“No,” James answered, before Sirius had the chance to open his mouth. “He lives in Hogsmeade, but sneaks into the school to visit his boyfriend sometimes.”

Sirius glared at James, his face flushing red with embarrassment.

Charlene didn’t look like she was entirely buying the story, but since no other explanation was forthcoming she didn’t have a great deal of choice. “Five minutes, Potter,” she warned, the Quidditch practice topping her priorities list once more.

Sirius waited until the door had closed before turning to glare at James. “What did you tell her that for?”

“Isn’t that what he’s here for?” James asked with deceptive innocence. “You certainly look like a couple of cozy queers.”

“I’m not queer,” Sirius muttered, purposely ignoring his own recent ponderings on that very topic.

“If you say so,” James commented with a smirk. “Would you prefer I go after Charlene and tell her the truth?”

Sirius shook his head. The fewer people who knew what Remus was, the better.

“How long has he been hiding here?”

“A couple of weeks,” Remus whispered.

“Very sneaky,” James commented with a grin. “Worthy of a Gryffindor, I’d say.”

“You think so?” Remus asked with a small smile.

“Definitely.” James nodded and stuck out his hand. “We’ve never been formally introduced,” he said. “James Potter.”

“Remus Lupin,” Remus replied, tentatively reaching out his hand and shaking that of James.

“And this is Peter Pettigrew,” James said, beckoning the still silent Peter forward.

Peter pointed at his throat and glared at Sirius.

“Fine,” muttered Sirius, lifting the spell on the other boy.

“Are you really a queer?” Peter asked, the moment he had his voice back.

“I can always take it away again,” Sirius warned, waving his wand at Peter’s throat once more.

“None of my business, right?” Peter chirped with forced cheerfulness. “So, what about those Harpies? They just signed a couple of right lookers last month.”

Sirius groaned and clambered out of bed. He wondered whether he might be able to manage even a weak memory charm on the two boys, but quickly discarded the idea. The way he saw it they had two options, trust James and Peter to keep Remus hidden, or get Remus back to the forest as quickly and as quietly as possible.

Remus, who seemed to be attuned to his thoughts, made his own feelings known. “I don’t want to go back to the forest.”

“Why would you go back there?” James asked. He sat down on the end of the bed, Quidditch apparently forgotten.

“Because that would be better than being caught by the Ministry,” Sirius pointed out.

At that moment Romulus chose to float through the door. “Oh,” was all he said when he saw the group clustered around Remus.

“Aren’t you his brother?” asked James as he looked from Remus to Romulus.

“Yes,” Romulus replied. “I see you’ve become reacquainted with Remus.”

“We were just discussing how we’re going to hide him from the Ministry,” James said with a grin.

Sirius raised an eyebrow in question. “We were?”

Romulus ignored him and turned to James. “You’re going to help protect my brother?” he asked politely.

James nodded his agreement.

Romulus stared at James seriously. “Okay.”

“You aren’t just going to trust him?” Sirius asked. “He spent most of last term going on about how great Spion is and how werewolves are evil.”

“No, Sirius,” Romulus replied. “I don’t trust him. But Remus won’t survive in the forest, so he has to stay here. But, I’m going to be keeping an eye on this pair, and Sir Nicholas and the Fat Friar are going to be helping me. And if I see one hint of them betraying us, I’ll get every ghost in Hogwarts to haunt them for the rest of eternity.”

“You can’t do that,” James argued. “The Ministry won’t let you.”

“I gave the Ministry the slip for years when I was alive; you think I can’t do the same now I’m a ghost?”

Peter gave an involuntary squeak of protest and James paled slightly.

“Potter!” Charlene, sounding both impatient and angry, was on her way back up the stairs.

“Go,” Sirius ordered James.

“You’ll trust me?” James asked.

“Follow him,” Sirius said to Romulus. “Don’t let him out of your sight. If you see him talking to Spion – ”

“You won’t,” James interrupted.

“If you do,” Sirius continued. “Warn us as quick as you can.”

Romulus nodded and followed James out the door.

“What about me?” Peter asked. “You going to follow me around all day?”

Sirius was as thrilled at that idea as Peter was and he shook his head. “You won’t go to Spion,” he said, knowing as he spoke that he was right. “You won’t do anything without James giving you the okay first.”

Peter looked annoyed at the assessment. He didn’t say a word as he grabbed his things and headed to the bathroom.

“At least I don’t have to keep hiding from them,” Remus commented.

“I just hope we can trust them,” Sirius replied quietly as he climbed back into bed.

“You’re going back to sleep?” Remus asked in surprise.

“It’s Saturday morning, and not even eight yet, what do you think?”

Remus laughed as Sirius closed his eyes. “Sirius?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you mind if I stay here?”

“You’re not going back to the forest, not yet,” Sirius promised. “We’ll deal with the full moon when it comes, but until then you’re staying here.”

“Firenze will help at full moon.”

Sirius grunted at that.

“What?”

“I’m going to be having a chat with Firenze when I see him,” Sirius muttered. “Leaving you alone like that, anything could have happened to you.”

“It’s not his fault.”

“That’s not the point.”

“That wasn’t what I meant anyway. I meant here, in your bed. I don’t want everything thinking you’re a queer when you’re not, not because of me.”

“I don’t care what people think.”

“So, you don’t mind?”

“Do you want to stay here?” Sirius asked, turning to face Remus properly.

Remus nodded slowly. “I feel safe here.”

Sirius smiled and pulled Remus into a hug. “You are safe. With me beside you, you’re as safe as can be.”

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A/N: I now have a Livejournal for anyone who cares - fullmoon_dreams. I'll be posting my recent stories there, and maybe even using it to keep people updated on what is happening with my stories - possibly even the odd sneak preview or two. Feel free to stop by. NOTE: The version of OiaBM on LJ will be the edited version and not this one - just so you know.

Anyway, the main reason I am letting people here know about it is for those who want answers to questions on chapters - feel free to leave them on the journal so that I can reply more promptly and efficiently than I can here.