100 Ways to Kill a Weasley

Sacrifice



by Lisa Jean



Hermione Granger needed to get away from the Great Hall and all the mourners. The war was over. Good had triumphed over evil. Yet there was something that was bothering the young woman, and she needed to discover what that was. She wondered through the scarred halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry until she found herself in front of the fallen gargoyles that guarded the headmaster’s office. She delicately stepped over them and climbed the spiral stairs.



Once inside the office, last occupied by Severus Snape, she found a shallow stone basin with runes carved around it, a gleaming silver substance shimmering in the bowl. Quickly she deciphered the runes and determined that the object was a Pensieve, therefore the substance inside of it was someone’s memories. Hesitantly, she looked inside; scared of what she might find, but somehow knowing that she must see this.



She was aghast to find herself watching her former professor as an abused and neglected little boy. She saw him teased and taunted by friends and enemies. She saw the fall of the boy and the rise of the man who would do anything to avenge the woman he loved. She saw the self-hatred he cast upon himself for doing what must be done. With tears in her eyes, she tumbled from the basin as the memories ended.



“Ah, Miss Granger, you are a welcome sight.” She heard a benign voice say. Looking up, she saw the portrait of Professor Dumbledore beaming at her. “And not a moment to late. The book you need is in that bookshelf to your left. The one with the red spine and green lettering.” She reached for the book. “Yes that’s the one. Now hurry before you’re too late. The potion’s stores should contain everything you need, except for the last two ingredients. You’ll need to find those on your own.”



“But, Professor,” she started.



“Quickly, Miss Granger, time is of the essence.” He disappeared from his portrait and she left, running down the stairs, hurdling over the gargoyles, and racing to the dungeon to the potion’s stores.



Once there, she found a table to set the book on so that she could find the potion she was supposed to be looking for. It didn’t take long, Naga Aentiveneum – to revive victims of the Naga or Nagarajah. She wondered why this potion was used for Mr Weasley, but a quick look at the direction explained why:



The Naga Aentiveneum is prompt to brew, as most victims would not survive if it took to long. In a pewter cauldron, over a low fire, mix thoroughly an invigoration draught, pomegranate juice, salamander blood, and a Bezoar. Whisk in Jobberknoll feathers, shredded Mandrake, fluxweed, and ginger. Stir seven times clockwise and seven times anti-clockwise. Increase the fire, and add one whole Ashwinder egg and black beetle eyes. Stir one minute until mixture turns a vibrant green and reduce fire. Add in order, stirring three time clockwise after each addition: Asphodel, Hellebore, Powdered Moonstoon, grated unicorn horn, and peppermint. Stir continuously twenty times anti-clockwise, adding essence of Murtlap after the tenth stir. Your potion should now be sky blue. Remove from fire completely. Allow potion to rest during collection of last two ingredients: Add fresh virgin’s blood (works best if blood is taken by the victim). Stir just until blood forms a swirl of red and blue. Add fresh testes and scrotal sac (best if taken from an adversary or rival for the affections of the virgin). Mix completely. Potion should now be darkest green and thick. Spread one half of the potion over the Nagarajah bites and have the victim drink the other half, force if necessary.



No wonder this one wasn’t used. Well, no time to dawdle, Dumbledore sounded urgent. She quickly gathered the listed ingredients, except for those that would need to be collected at the source, and tossed them into a pewter cauldron. She ran up the stairs wondering where she would get the last ingredient.



“There you are, Hermione,” Ron Weasley stated as he stepped out of the Great Hall. “I was wondering . . .”



“Ron, come quickly. Follow me, we have to hurry,” she gasped, feeling guilty and sad for what she was about to do, but knowing that it must be done.



She led him into the Shrieking Shack, right up to Snape’s apparently lifeless body.



She began to brew the potion, while Ron just stared at her, making protests about how they needed to get back and mourn Fred and the others. She ignored him, taking only about five minutes to get to the second to last step.



She disrobed herself first and then Snape.



“Bloody Hell, Hermione! What in the name of Merlin do you think you are doing?” Ron protested, but she continued to ignore him.



She was quite surprised that he had enough blood to sustain an erection, but this wouldn’t take long. Expeditiously she impaled herself on his penis, piercing her hymen and then collected the blood. Ron looked at her in shock as she mixed it in according to the directions in the book.



“Ron, I’m really sorry about this, but Petrificus Totalis.” She pointed her wand at him and cast the body bind. She then disrobed home. “I really don’t want to do this, and you don’t deserve this, but he doesn’t deserve this death, and if a few sacrifices on our part can save him, then that is what must be done.”



Ron looked at her with frightened eyes. A quick, “Sectumsempra,” and she had the last ingredients. His eyes continued to glare at her in agony as his blood spilled from his severed jewels and his would-be-girlfriend sacrificed him to save the greasy git. She released him from his body bind, but it mattered little.



“Why, Hermione,” he breathed as he watched he spread the potion over the neck of the most hated professor in recent Hogwarts history and then pour the rest down the man’s throat.



She left the potion to work on Professor Snape, and went to kneel by Ron as his life faded. “I am truly sorry, Ron. I do love you, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let this opportunity pass by.” She kissed him on the check. “Rest in Peace.” With that, she closed his eyes as they glazed over, the blood still spilling from his groin.



A firm hand on her shoulder brought her back to her senses. “Thank you, Miss Granger, I’m sure that this was an excruciating decision for you.”



Looking into the blackest eyes she had ever seen and then dropped her gaze to his neck and noticed that not even a scar was left, she replied, “Not at all, Professor, it was an honour to save the life of someone who has save us so often. Consider it a life debt repaid.”



“Well, in that case, I believe that the school will have several openings for next term, assuming that I remain headmaster, would you be willing to entertain an offer to teach.”



“I’d be delighted, Professor!” It only just hit her that they were having this conversation completely nude. That and the man who she had just revived, who had just offered her a job, had an impressive erection. “However, I think we should take care of that little problem first.”



It was determined that the body of Ronald Weasley was found by Hermione Granger and Severus Snape on the grounds of Hogwarts as they returned from the Shrieking Shack. Officially, a rogue Death Eater was charged with his death via emasculation.



If the wizarding world was surprised that Severus Snape not only survived the final battle, but was also acquitted of all charges, and resumed to role of Headmaster of Hogwarts – it was nothing compared to the shock when it was announced that the feared Headmaster had married the Muggle-born Muggle studies professor the next Christmas Eve. People were also rather stunned that the Muggle studies professor wore a rather revealing wedding robe that did nothing to hide a generous bump in her belly.



It was announced on February 19, 1998 that Hermione Snape had gifted Severus Snape with a son named Ronald Albus.

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I had so much fun writing the first one, that I had to write another.