Situational Ethics

Please keep and eye out for these symbols: gHarry, donft lag, or youfll be left behind!h
If you see them, inform me, please.

Chapter Eighteen:

"The Indispensable First Step"

Harry wearily dragged his half asleep self towards the wagons recalling that he had promised himself that he wouldn't be too reluctant to leave Hogwarts when the time came, but this past year had such an impact on Harry's present and future life that it was rather difficult and somewhat odd to just say goodbye. "Harry, don't lag, or you'll be left behind!" cried out one of his classmates.

Whoever said I wanted to leave?

Harry gripped the railing and used what little strength he had accumulated since he woke up to pull his scrawny self, plus one, onto the wagon. Once off the ground, Harry stopped to think about how pathetic and weak his arm muscles were. Then he decided to blame in on how early it was in the morning. His two best friends plus Neville leaned forwards and watched as Harry stood immobile for a good five seconds before blinking. Once Harry's regained some consciousness, his friends returned to their own state of exhaustion. Harry then stared at them wondering what the heck had happened to them. Luckily, some part of his brain was functioning and it was able to remind him about the great graduation party he had missed. Harry felt a light wave of disappointment for not being able to attend the party tumble in his guts, but it was quickly forgotten. "Had fun?" He asked once he took a seat next to Neville.

"We partied hard...," Ron said softly with a weary smile on his face which was then followed up by a yawn.

That that would be enough questions for the time being. Harry's friends were practically mindless zombies. Harry wouldn't be surprised if one of them had a cough attack because they forgot to breathe. To keep himself mildly awake in case he was faced with some disturbance, or trauma, Harry kept his sights on the Hogwarts ground as Thestrals pulled the wagons slowly towards the station.

Within the next ten minutes, Harry had boarded the Hogwarts Express for possibly the last time and found a seat in the compartment closest to the exit. At this point, Hogwarts was now not much more than a castle in the distance. Harry sighed, secretly wishing he could have stayed in the castle and remained at his prince's side.

"Why is it that every time we get on a train you look sad?" Ron asked once he entered the compartment. "It's too early to be anything but frustrated. And even that's pushing it," said Ron as he backed himself until his knees touched the seat, then fell back until half of his body was hanging off due to his slouched posture.

Hermione stood in the doorway, looking at Ron like a wife would if her husband came back the following morning, drunk. "Get off the floor and move your arse over," she said as she tried to find a spot to sleep on.

"Stop pushing me," Ron said tiredly as Hermione shoved his butt off her side of the seat. Eventually, it ended up with Hermione on one side, curled up, and Ron on the floor, face up. For the first few seconds, Harry stared at them agog, and then his drowsy state kicked in again. For a moment, Harry considered watching out for his friends incase some Slytherin decided to vent, but then Harry noted that in every compartment that he could see, the students were completely gone. A thunderstorm couldn't even rouse some of them at this point.

Eventually, the train began to move and the steam the engines emitted could be seen from Harry's window. He sighed and watched as his Hogwarts, the only home he had ever known, slowly faded in the distance.

Then, after seeing Hogwarts fade, the Black Lake disappear behind the hills, most of the window completely blocked by steam, Harry said, "Fuck this. I'm going to sleep."

HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

Upon reaching the platform, the families greeted their son and daughters warmly. They held balloons reading Congrats Grads!, posters that cheered out their child's name, stuffed animals with little caps or long, wizard hats, depending on who had Muggle parents and who didn't, and some just had presents wrapped neatly in bright coloured packaging.

Then there were the Muggle families that brought blow horns and poppers and silly little whistles that nearly blew out everyone's ears.

As each of the grads got off, they were pulled away suddenly into the crowd by their parents. And while the parents were happy, energetic, and eager to see their grads, the grads looked like they just wanted to sleep. A couple were even leaning against their parent's shoulder, trying to get some shut eye.

Harry decided he wouldn't disembark until the crowds died down. Normally, this would take a while, but since families were so eager to take home their grads, the platform quickly became less noisy and crowded. Even the Weasleys left early.

Silence, for the most part, graced the platform at last. Harry got off the train and then remembered that since he was of age, the Dursley's wouldn't be here this time, or ever again, for that matter. A feeling of contentment shook Harry out of his weary state and he found himself smiling.

"What's with that smile? Happy to be home?"

Harry turned around and saw Sirius with Remus and Tonks standing by a pillar. "Sirius!" He ran into his godfather's arms and held him tightly. It had been ages since he last saw his godfather.

Remus stepped forwards and embraced Harry as well.

Tonks stood there yawning. "Enough with the love. Let's get home and get something to eat."

"I've missed you too, Tonks." Harry said over Remus' shoulder.

"Of course you did." She leaned on her hips then gestured with her fingers and hands for her fellow Order members to follow and quickly. There was no need for dilly-dallying.

They left the station promptly and were greeted by that blasted purple, triple-decker bus. Harry felt like his stomach dropped with trepidation. Why, with all the magical ways of transporting, are they using that bloody bus? "What's the matter, Harry?" Remus asked as he looked down at the youngster.

Harry could've very well looked like he had seen Voldemort, but given his condition Harry felt that a ride on that bus could produce a more grave impact.

"Well, it won't wait forever," Tonks said as pushed her way through the crowd of Muggles, grabbed the handlebars, and marched up the stairs.

Harry frowned and looked at the people around them. "Can't people see... no, they can't."

"I know you've been informed, Harry. Muggles can't see the bus," Sirius ruffled Harry's hair fondly.

The rest of them approached the bus and boarded without hesitation. The menacing warning plate, however, caught Harry's fretful eyes. It read, among the other warnings, that pregnant witches and wizards should take extra precautions.

Fuck.

Harry reluctantly got on board and sat, to his godfather's surprise, in the front.

"What's the matter, Harry? I'd thought you'd want to enjoy getting sick back here with me."

"Maybe another time. I'm not feeling too well today."

"You're still young, Harry! You can take a lot more than this!"

"..n..."

"Oh, come on. You;re acting like you're pregnant."

Harry felt his chest clench and his stomach knot guiltily. He had nothing to say to Sirius.

The bus then took off and Harry was thrown back in his seat. He quickly then reached for the polls and riveted his hands to them. There was no way he was going to put himself at any more risks. He was so close. Only two months away at the most.

"Hold on tight. This is going to be a bumpy ride!" The frisky head laughed while it bounced on its string.

Bumpy was an understatement. Harry had forgotten to take the terse turns, sudden squeezing, and random morphing into consideration. By the time they reached Grimmauld Place, half of Harry's body was leaning over, struggling to keep his breakfast, and possibly some of last night's dinner, where it belonged.

The adults got off, feeling a little woozy themselves, but Harry had gotten off feeling more than just nauseous, and headed into the bushes to retch and retch, and retch some more.

"Come along, Harry! We haven't all day."

Harry gripped the fencing and pulled himself up. Then with a quick flick of his wand the multicoloured splatter was gone. "What happened?" asked Sirius. "You're young. You should be able to take more than just a crazy bus ride."

I'm pregnant, you fool.

Harry stood up slowly then walked towards Sirius. "I need some rest." And possibly a tub to soak my feet in.

It really wasn't until just earlier this morning that Harry bothered to heed the pain in his swollen feet. While the band was able to give the appearance of a flat belly, it did not help with the baby's weight, which was straining Harry's joints. Especially his ankles. He needed to soak his feet, and maybe a massage would alleviate his distress.

Upon entering the household, it settled into Harry's conscience that he would soon have to prepare a place for his baby and then for himself once he goes into labour. "Welcome home, Harry!" Sirius said as he led Harry upstairs. "We added a few things to your room to make you more comfortable since you'll be staying here from now on."

Harry walked into his room, feeling a little cautious yet anxious. What Sirius had done was given him a large, queen sized bed with posts and new sheets. Other than that, the room looked the same. "Thank you." A new bed was exactly what Harry needed, but he couldn't suppress his pessimistic feelings at having the bed where he and Snape were together first gone.

"I thought you would like it. Well, I'm going to help Tonks prepare your welcoming dinner and in the meantime, relax and get comfortable."

"Thank you. I will."

Sirius left and closed the door softly behind him, and Harry turned to look at his new bed. "I cannot have anyone interfering."

Though Harry was very close to Sirius, he did not want his godfather, or his godfather's lover, to be there while he delivered. He was too afraid of their interjections, of their ridicule, and did not wish for his child to hear bellowing before it heard its father's adoring voice. Even though Harry knew Sirius meant well, Sirius was impulsive and sometimes unaware of his own reckless actions.

And Remus, though he primarily tries to encourage Sirius from discriminating and jumping to conclusions before the facts present themselves, sometimes did little more than promote Sirius' outbursts.

Eventually, Harry will have to enlighten them, just, he would mention the dirty details, such as who the sperm donor was and anything else pertaining to his reckless intimacy.

But hopefully by then, Harry would be well rested and ready for an onslaught of questions.

For now, however, Harry desired for nothing more than to settle into his new bed and dream. With a quick tap of his wand to his head, Harry's clothes were magically replaced by loosely fit red PJs. He smiled contently then yawned. There was so much to do and such little time. Harry would have to act fast if he was to act at all.

SEVERUSSNAPESEVERSSNAPESEVERSSNAPE

There was a soft knock at Harry's door. Harry's eyes flickered from the pages of the magazine to the closed door. "Come in," Harry then sat up and waited for his guest to enter.

Remus peaked in and then stepped through. "Is something bothering you, Harry? You haven't left your room since breakfast."

Harry looked out at the setting sun. How the hours fly. "No, I just...," Harry looked down upon the magazine and closed it. "I guess I just got carried away."

"What are you looking at?" Remus shuffled further into Harry's room and then sat on the bed beside Harry. He noticed that the front cover of the magazine featured a sunny beach with tall palms and crystal clear water. "The 'Travel Agent'." Remus read aloud. "Are you planning a trip for yourself? I hear the sunny beaches of Hawaii are especially nice this time of year."

"Too humid for my taste. But who knows. I may just give it a go."

Remus smiled and then patted Harry's back. "Live life while you can."

If Remus was suggesting that Harry should travel this summer, Harry completely missed it. Harry had only one thing on his mind and he planned on carrying it out. "Wouldn't you and Sirius like to take a few weeks off and travel?"

"And leave you here alone to fend for yourself? Rubbish. The last thing I need is for Voldemort to take advantage of your vulnerability."

Quite done with his little discussion with Harry, Remus moved to leave the room and would have succeeded if Harry hadn't stopped him. "But I have Dumbledore and Tonks... Moody and Snape." Harry paused. "And the Weasleys too! With so many people around, how can Voldemort possibly think about attacking me?"

"Yes, but Dumbledore and the others have entrusted Sirius and I with you. We have a duty to which we are bound."

"What if I go to stay with the Weasleys?"

"Arthur and his wife are hardly home. They have bills to pay off and children to support. It's a miracle they haven't fallen in debt with so many."

Harry paused. "Are children really that expensive?"

"Of course. They're wallet leeches. Worse, they can cling to you for seventeen plus years."

"Is that why you and Sirius don't have children?"

There was a faint touch of red on Remus' cheeks and Harry mentally chuckled while Remus cleared his throat and adjusted his collar. "It's... difficult, Harry." From observing Remus' fidgety countenance, Harry took note of Remus' reluctance. "We'd like to think that male pregnancy is a plausible idea, but there are so many risks... and the percentage rate for miscarriages and defects are so high-"

"Enough!" Negative statements only stung Harry's ears. He did not wish to hear anymore from Remus.

Remus took a step back. "Is something wrong, Harry?"

Yes. I do not want you to jinx my pregnancy.

"No... it's just that I'm so tired of hearing pessimistic opinions. If you and Sirius want a child, you shouldn't let silly statistics and rumours stop you. There are still some male pregnancies that succeed."

"Some? Like what? One out of every fifty? What are you basing your facts on?"

I... I don't know.

Harry looked away from Remus. He did not have an acceptable answer for him.

"Harry, I appreciate your support, but I think I am too old to bear children and the same goes for Sirius. While wizards and witches have a longer life span than Muggles, our biological clocks are the same."

"I understand." ...no. Not really.

"I have to get some work done now, Harry. I shall talk with you later."

"Alright."

Remus stepped out of the room feeling flushed but for the most part, embarrassed.

HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

That did not go so well. Harry told himself as he laid back against his bed.

His own biological clock was ticking and his child was due within the following month. Harry reminded himself that he hadn't much time and needed to get Sirius and Remus out of the house. Otherwise, he'd have to go and have his baby in the wilderness. "Too risky. I may faint and I'll need someone there to help me."

Feeling mighty anxious about his privacy, Harry wondered if Sirius would be more willing to take a trip. He was dying to get out of this house anyways. He had been locked up in this moldy of place for far too many months... and Harry was just about to take advantage of that.

Dinner came around and Harry sipped his tomato soup quietly while contemplating on ways he could bring up the subject. Sirius; mouth seemed occupied as it chomped into a chicken leg and Remus was writing some things down while sipping his soup. It was quiet. Too quiet. Could Remus have warned Sirius about Harry's senseless proposal?

"Is something bothering you, Harry?" asked Sirius as he wiped the chicken grease from his face with his sleeve.

"No. Nothing."

The quill came to a sudden halt for Remus was watching them closely.

"I just wanted to know what you had planned this summer."

"This summer?" Sirius leaned back and raised his hands. One hand held a chicken leg lazily and the other, a piece of buttered up bread. "Hmm... I don't know. Where are we going, Remus?"

Remus set his quill aside. "You can't go anywhere, remember?"

"Aw, don't be like that, Remus."

"You know the rules," Remus shot back.

"Poopie." Sirius turned towards Harry then mouthed "we'll talk about this later."

Remus, being as observant as he is, pushed his writings aside then stood up. "I think you've had quite enough. Let's get you to bed."

Sirius looked up at Remus with a stunned expression. "Since when did you become my mum?"

"Let's go." Remus placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder then passed Harry a don't-even-think-about-it look.

"C'mon, Remus dear. Don't be like this."

Remus must've been feeling awfully desperate, because soon, he had sucked up the balls and allowed Harry to witness firsthand how he seduces Sirius. Remus reached across Sirius' face and then straddled his lap. Harry then quickly turned away while the werewolf leaned in to... do something. Whatever it was, it sure got Sirius' attention. The two ended up hurrying out of the room and Sirius was doing a victory dance.

Kreature entered the scene and called the plates towards him. "Horny buggers." He mumbled as he dusted off his hands.

Harry could only roll his eyes as he too left the table. Maybe if I stay down here, I won't be able to hear them.

SEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPESEVERUSSNAPE

The light in the drawing room was rather dim, making it annoying difficult for Harry to read without straining his eyes too much. We need a new bulb. Harry looked up at the fire place and wondered if lighting it would help.

Then from across the hall, Harry heard someone creeping down the stairs. Harry figured it was either Remus or Sirius. He secretly hoped it was Sirius because if it was his lover, surely the man would ask Harry to crush any thoughts about getting rid of them for the summer. "Who's there?" Harry asked. He wanted to be prepared.

A mass of curly hair peaked over and then Harry smiled. His godfather had managed to sneak away from his sleeping werewolf. "Good, you're still up." Sirius tip toed across the room. "I hope we weren't too loud."

Harry shook his head. "No louder than a bunch of howling wolves."

Sirius' face was mortified and completely priceless. "We were not that loud."

"I'm just kidding. Now sit over there. I know you haven't showered yet and the last thing I need to smell is essence of you and Remus."

"I do not smell of sex!"

"Shhh!" Harry pressed his finger to his lips. "D'you want Remus to march down here and haul both our arses to bed?"

Sirius sat and Harry set aside his book. "Now, tell me, what were you suggesting at dinner?"

"I wanted to know if you and Remus wanted to get away for a month or so before beginning my training."

Sirius' ears perked. "Where to?"

"I hear the beaches of Hawaii are especially nice this time of year."

"Hawaii? My god, I've always wanted to visit those beaches."

"Well, now's your chance. I'm willing to help you afford a nice get away for two."

"You can't be serious, Harry."

"Oh no. I am. Very, very serious as a matter of fact."

Sirius moved back slightly. "No. You must have something planned."

"Yeah." Harry responded quickly. "A peaceful and quiet summer to myself."

"Is there a catch besides that?"

Nothing you'll know of until you get back. "What kind of man d'you take me for?"

"Hmm, well, our anniversary is coming up. I'm sure if I use a bit of my irresistible charm, Remus won't be able to say no."

"Fantastic!"

HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER

Remus cross his arms and looked back at the house one more time. He had no idea how he allowed himself to be convinced to just abandon Harry and go on a trip. "Are you absolutely sure he'll be alright?"

"Definitely." Sirius kept his eyes on the streets, waiting for their car to arrive.

Harry stood inside, watching closely as a taxi came from around the corner. He had given the taxi the neighbor's address because he knew that he couldn't release his.

Once the two lovebirds were seated in the car, Harry felt as if an unnecessary weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Though at the moment, he needed some weight off his stomach. He was so sure that Remus was going to turn around and completely cancel the entire thing. If that had happened, then Harry was considering leaving the house for a few weeks.

Harry turned to look into his now empty house and then towards the calendar. It was just the beginning of August, and everything seemed to be going according to plan.

Before, Harry would have never dared to remove the band while outside of his room, but now Harry felt perfectly safe when he reached for his it. It would be the last time he would have to wear it. He hoped. With one quick rip, he tore the band off and allowed his belly to hang shamelessly over his waistband. It was huge, round, and interestingly solid. Harry inevitably leaned forwards due to the weight. He wasn't used to having it hang over like that. Harry had to place his hands behind his hips and try to straighten out his back.

He looked down and giggled. He couldn't see his feet, but he certainly could feel them throbbing. Reaching for the rails, Harry took one step at a time then stopped when he saw a pair of big, round eyes staring at him.

Harry now had some explaining to do.