I'll Be Home For Christmas

Sorry for the long wait between updates.


As always, thank you to all who reviewed, and as always, its much appreciated. Please, feel free to do so again! LOL. Special thanks to Tambrathegreat for being...well....great! Special thanks also to Rylan for your lovely reviews and for being my first self proclaimed "dedicated reader". I hope you enjoy this latest chapter.



The Waiting Game



"I've been turfed out."


This statement from an obviously disgruntled Harry greeted a startled Severus, who'd returned to his quarters at lunchtime with the intent of flooing to the Weasley's. That, evidently, wasn't going to happen.


Severus, wary of sparking off a temper tantrum or a crying jag, asked warily, "Turfed out?"


"Shacklebolt's decided I should start my leave early," Harry said petulantly.


"Erm......any particular reason?" Severus asked, careful to keep his tone light.


Harry shot him a stony glare and snapped, "He says he thinks the job is getting to me and that I should take it easy. He thinks I'm stressed."


"Well...that was kind of him to think of your well-being," Severus said, still wary.


"They don't want a pregnant man the first thing visitors see is what he really means," Harry said darkly, his vivid green eyes beginning to flash dangerously.


"Don't be silly, Harry," Severus said lightly, "if that were true, he'd have put you on leave long before this. Besides," he added truthfully, "I really don't think you should be flooing or apparating any longer in your condition. It could be dangerous for you."


The storms clouds momentarily disappeared from Harry's brow, but before Severus could congratulate himself on for once saying the right thing, he found himself cringing.


"You mean because I'm as big as a whale, don't you?" Harry snapped, accusingly.


Tears sparkled in emerald pools, and Severus groaned inwardly.


Damn it all!! Would he never learn??


************************************


Severus stalked slowly down the corridor, robes billowing, and wearing his most menacing glare. Students hastened away out of his path, including young Stebbins, who let out a terrified squeak, dropped his books, and fairly ran in the other direction. He reached his destination, across from a tapestry of Barmy somebody or other making a foolish attempt at training trolls to dance ballet, and stood malevolently, silently daring the few remaining students to dally.


When the last had scurried around the corner, Severus glanced surreptiously up and down the corridor assuring himself the coast was clear, then furrowed his brow in concentration whilst striding back and forth three times. When doors magically appeared in the wall, he glanced about once again before entering.


Once inside, Severus heaved a sigh of relief and walked over to the large canopied bed the room contained, and removed his outer robes. He sat down, eased his boots off, loosened the buttons of his collar, and sank back gratefully into soft, heavenly pillows. His last conscious thought was one of gratitude to Ron Weasley for reminding him of what he'd come to think of as his port in the storm of Harry's pregnancy.


**********************************


The Room woke him exactly 1 hour and 50 minutes later, as required, and Severus sat up feeling a little more refreshed and much less tired. As he donned his boots and robes again, he brushed aside the pang of guilt that niggled at him.


His guilt annoyed him. On one hand he felt it ridiculous that he was reduced to sneaking about like an errant schoolboy simply to be able to get some badly needed sleep. On the other, he couldn't help feeling somewhat ashamed as he did, hiding from his husband and lying about it to boot.


Harry thought Severus was in his potions lab, brewing. Severus had forbade him entry whilst he was brewing, citing the very real fact that some of the ingredients and most of the fumes could be detrimental to a pregnant wizard and his babies. That that was true didn't, however, make Severus feel any less guilty for not actually being there brewing and lying about where he actually was.


It was just that now, entering his 9th month, Harry was as surly as ever, and his enforced leave had done nothing to improve his mood. He was bored, Severus knew, and he was even more uncomfortable now, as Severus well knew. Harry never let him forget it. And Severus did have sympathy for him, but he was also exhausted, and he had classes to teach, which Harry did not, and he couldn't do it if he were falling asleep in the middle of lessons. And Harry, which in his heart Severus couldn't say he blamed him for, didn't take too kindly to Severus returning to their quarters over his lunch and break time to nap, when Harry himself had so much trouble getting to sleep. Therefore, in order for some peace and quiet as well as privacy, Severus had resorted to occaisionally slipping into the Room of Requirement for a much needed nap, and Harry was none the wiser.


Thus having justified his actions, Severus was able to quell his pangs of guilt and return to his dungeons, scowl refreshed, and ready to deal with the daily incompetance displayed by his afternoon classes.


********************************


With more relief than usual, Severus was happy to see the students leave for summer holiday, and attended the Leaving Feast in the Great Hall gladly. The sooner it was over, the sooner all the little darlings would be gone, leaving him in peace to prepare for the entrance of his children into the world their father and he had made safe for them.


The day after the students left he helped Harry make his lumbering way to Poppy for a progress report.


"You're healthy, the babies are healthy, everything is as it should be," Poppy said, lowering her wand.


"How much longer?" Harry asked from the cot he was lying on. He sighed tiredly and closed his eyes for a moment.


"Well, I'm afraid I cannot give you an exact time or date," Poppy said, "but you'll know when the time has come. I would think you should begin to prepare yourselves, however."


"What does that mean?" Harry asked, his eyes going to Severus with an apprehensive look.


"I should be surprised if you lasted the week," Poppy said unexpectedly, and Harry's eyes went wide.


"That soon," Harry gulped and looked again at Severus. "You must be thrilled, Sev," he added.


Harry meant it as a joke of sorts, Severus knew, but he could also tell his young husband was frightened. Although Severus had indeed felt a leap of his heart to hear it would soon be over, he also felt a few pangs of panic now that the reality was nigh. Still, he could appreciate Harry's fright at the thought of actually giving birth; Severus knew he'd be outright petrified if the situation were reversed, and crossed over to the cot, holding out his hand.


He helped Harry struggle into a sitting position and sat down next to him. "I'll be there with you, Harry," he said reassuringly. Harry turned to him with such a pathetically grateful expression, Severus found himself doing something he'd never thought he'd ever find himself doing. He embraced his young husband tightly and stroked his back soothingly, not caring if Poppy were there or not, although he did scowl over Harry's shoulder at the ridiculously mawkish expression on her face as she watched them.


"Everything will be fine, Harry," she said confidently. "I've read everything there is to be had about wizard pregnancy, and have consulted with the healers at St. Mungo's, one of which will be standing by, just a fire call away if anything should happen.......which it won't," she added hastily, catching Severus' glare over Harry's shoulder. "There's no reason to worry about anything. Once your body makes the change, signalling your labour has begun, you'll come straight here, and then it will progress as a female birth would, and I've attended many of those. There's nothing to worry about."


Harry let go of Severus and turned to her, a frown on his face. "And everything will go back to the way it....was.. after? You're sure?"


"Yes, Harry, after the birth your male genitalia will return," she said reassuringly, but Harry didn't seem convinced.


"You're sure?," he repeated. "Has there ever been a wizard who didn't get his bits back?!"


"No, Harry," Poppy said patiently, "there has never been an instance of a pregnant wizard not returning to normal after the birth."


"You're sure," Harry repeated, "not even once? They all returned to normal, right?"


"Every last documented case," Poppy said firmly.



********************************


"Can't you give him something, or do something to make it start?" Severus growled at Poppy a week and a half later. Harry was now monstrously pregnant, monstrously crabby, and monstrously fed up with it all. They both were, and the waiting was excruciating.


"You said I wouldn't last a week a week and a half ago!" Harry said accusingly, "I don't think my stomach can stretch any further, Poppy," he added doubtfully.


"I'm sorry, but there really is nothing safe," she said, sighing, "the only way would be magical surgery and unless the babies are in danger we don't want to do that."


"So there's nothing," Harry said with resignation "potions and spells are out. And there's nothing I can do? What if I got on my broom and......"


"Absolutely not!," both Severus and Poppy said at once, Severus adding a frightful glare.


"Right," Harry sighed. "I don't want to hurt the babies but...really, I can't..."


"You could try walking," Poppy said, "sometimes that helps. Stay within the castle though..."


"Walking?!," Harry spluttered, "that's a joke, right? I barely made it up here to begin with! I'm as big as a whale, I have to sit down to have a pee, and even then Sev has to help me up again, and I just want this over!" He was aware that he was whinging, but he was beyond caring at this point. "Isn't there anything else? Anything that doesn't involve moving?"


Poppy hesitated, looking between a scowling Severus and weary and annoyed Harry. "Well," she sighed, "there is something you might try. Rather a folk remedy, and it doesn't always get results, but Muggle doctors sometimes suggest trying it."


"Muggle doctors?" Severus scowled the same time Harry said eagerly, "What is it?" before throwing his own scowl at his husband.


"Relations....Sex," Poppy said and watched Harry blush as Severus' scowl deepened. "I've said that it's rather a folk remedy, and it doesn't work in all cases, but the theory behind it is that it causes contractions in the uterus, just as when orga..."


"I get it!" Harry blurted, cutting her off, and Poppy shook her head in amusement.


"Really, Harry," she said, "I've been treating you since you we're 11. There's no need to be embarassed. Believe me, for being about to give birth any day now, you'd do well to quell your modesty. Now, even though you are a man and the...mechanics are different, the result is the same. It's a suggestion, is all."


*************************************


Neither Severus or Harry mentioned Poppy's latter suggestion over the next few days as it didn't seem to either of them that it could possibly work, despite what she said. They did, however, take her first suggestion into consideration.


Being that the castle was empty of students, Harry needn't worry about anyone staring at him, or any of the girls giving him adoring looks or wanting to pat his enormous stomach, and was determined to walk himself into labour. Severus walked alongside him, holding his arm, scowling and fretting the entire way that Harry was unduly wearing himself out, possibly stressing the babies, and should be back in their quarters with his feet up, until Harry was ready to curse him with "Silencio".


After three days of walking himself into exhaustion, a fierce backache, and terribly swollen feet, Harry finally admitted defeat and sat in their quarters with his feet up, a cushion behind his back, and a distinctly put out expression on his face.


Severus was beginning to worry then. Harry was now two weeks past Poppy's prediction, neither of them were getting any sleep due to Harry being unable to find a comfortable position, and it was beginning to take it's toll on both of them. Severus tried to be patient, but the accusing glare he saw on Harry's face everytime he looked at him wasn't making it any easier.


Another night of Harry tossing and turning and Severus not being able to comfort him or make him comfortable had them both sniping at each other in the dark until Harry put an end to that by wailing, "Merlin, Severus, just fuck me already!"


"What?" a startled Severus replied. He certainly hadn't been expecting that out of Harry's mouth.


"Maybe it'll work," Harry pleaded, "please, Sev? I can't take this anymore! Maybe the Muggle doctors know something Poppy doesn't. We've tried everything else!"


"Harry," Severus said reasonably, "Even if that were so, Muggle men don't get pregnant, so how could it possibly work?"


"Come on, Sev," Harry said, turning to his husband. "It's been awhile....it can't hurt, and maybe I'll at least be able to sleep afterwards."


As appealing as the thought of a decent night's sleep was, Severus couldn't honestly say he was in the mood for sex. Even if it somehow would bring on Harry's labour, he was far too tired to muster the necessary energy.


"Harry," he began gently, but that was all the further he got as Harry spelled the lights on and Severus found two wounded and angry green eyes glaring at him.


"Don't you want to, Severus?" Harry said icily.


"Harry," Severus sighed, trying again.


"It's because I'm enormous and fat and ugly, isn't it?" Harry snapped, "I don't turn you on anymore, do I? That's it, isn't it?"


"Harry, I'm simply exhausted, it has nothing to do with..." Severus began and immediately regretted it.


"Oh, you think I'm not?!" Harry shreiked, struggling to get up out of bed, "You aren't the one who's as big as a beached whale! You aren't the one who hasn't seen their feet in months! You aren't the one who feels like they're being bludgered from the inside! And it's all your fault!" He growled in frustration at not being able to heave himself off the bed and wailed, "And you're not the one who can't even get off the goddamned bed to have a piss!"


Severus got up and went around the bed to help Harry, but Harry threw his hands off snarling, "Get your bloody hands off me unless you mean business, Severus Snape!"


Severus sighed and said, "Be reasonable, Harry. You need help."


Harry slapped his hands away, finally managing to heave himself off the bed, and shouted, "You're the one who's being unreasonable! It's too much of an effort for you to shag me! I guess the honeymoon is well and truly over now, isn't it!" and stomped off to the bathroom as fast as his girth would carry him, slamming the door after himself.


"Merlin help me," Severus sighed, and gave Harry a few minutes to cool down before he went to the bathroom door and made another attempt at being reasonable. He tried the door, but it wouldn't open. He turned to fetch his wand from the bedside table and heard a frustrated and tearful Harry screech, "Fuck!" from the other side of the door.


Severus hurried and got his wand, spelling the door open, to find Harry angry and on the verge of tears glaring at him. "Harry," Severus said, and the tears came.


"I need help to pee! I can't even pee by myself anymore, Sev!" Harry wailed, hating himself for his inability to do even the simplest of tasks, as well as the tears. He was turning into such a fucking girl! The thought of that made him cry even harder, and he felt thoroughly stupid and humiliated when Severus helped him onto the seat and he sat there peeing and crying.


Severus, knowing how Harry felt and recognising his husband was on the verge of becoming distraught, helped him up when he finished, and held him a few moments before saying gently, "Why don't I draw you a bath, Harry? Perhaps it will help relax you and help you to sleep."


Harry allowed himself to be put in a warm bath, feeling somewhat ashamed and embarassed at his outburst, as well as guilty for the abuse he'd heaped on his long suffering husband. "I'm sorry, Sev," he mumbled.


Severus hesitated only a moment before bending down to cup Harry's beloved face in his hands and kissing him. "All is forgotten, Harry. We are both upset that our babies haven't decided to make the scene yet, anxious and worried. This won't last forever. Put it out of your mind and relax."


"How can you stand me?" Harry said mournfully, "I've been so hateful and..."


"Shh...none of that," Severus chided, sitting on the edge of the tub and caressing Harry's cheek. "You are right, I am not the one who is carrying two babies. I am not the one who endured the morning sickness, the backache, the swollen feet, the...whalesomeness, and I can only guess at how uncomfortable you must be. But, you are carrying our children, precious cargo indeed, and when this is over, you will have given me a gift far greater than any other. A gift I would never have had without you. I can stand you in the face of that. It is but a small price to pay."


Harry laughed softly through the tears that had sprung up again and said, "I love you too, you big git. Now get in this tub with me and hold me while I cry like a little girl again."


*************************************


"But it's been two and a half weeks!" Harry groaned to the Healer Poppy had called in from St. Mungo's.


"Obviously there's been a miscalculation," the Healer, who's name was Jones, said cheerfully. "That's the thing with wizarding pregnancies. We can't be sure exactly when you fell pregnant, and so we can only give a best guess according to the size and position of the baby...or babies, in your case. Your babies are fine, healthy, and a good size. They seem to be starting to turn, which means that the big event can't be far off now. You'll know for sure when..."


"I turn into a woman, I know," Harry said wearily.


"Your body changes in preparation for the birth," Healer Jones said, still annoyingly cheerful.


"Yeah, yeah," Harry said tiredly.


"Now what sort of attitude is that?" Healer Jones chirped.


"It's an "I want my babies already" sort of attitude!," Harry snapped, "as in I want this over with! I'm tired of waiting! I'm tired! I can barely move anymore and my stomach can't possibly stretch any further! If the babies are healthy and good sized and I'm in my 9th month, then cut me open and get them out of me!"


"I'm afraid that's not advisable unless the babies are in danger," Healer Jones said, and Harry wanted to curse the cheerfulness right out of him.


"What about me?!" Harry, shouted, struggling to lift himself from the hospital bed, Severus shooting forward to help him. "What if I'm in danger?! I'm in danger of exploding! What good are you if you're not going to help?! Let's go, Sev!"


****************************************


All the fight had gone out of Harry on the slow and laborious walk back to their quarters, and Harry let Severus lead him to their bedroom and tuck him up. Once he was settled with pillows under his head, shoulders and knees, Harry found he could barely keep his eyes open and drifted off to sleep.


He woke only briefly for a light lunch and then again later for dinner, and to Severus' amazement drifted off again on the couch right in the middle of conversation. Severus helped him into their bedroom, into his nightshirt, then into bed, arranging pillows so he'd be comfortable, then sat on the side of the bed next to him with a slightly worried frown.


"Are you sure you feel alright, Harry?" he asked, "should I call Poppy?"


"M'fine, Sev," Harry said sleepily, "just tired." He gave a half-hearted smile and said, "You should be glad....peace and....quiet..." and he was asleep again.


Severus sat with him a moment longer, feeling slightly guilty for just that reason. He was glad of the peace and quiet. He'd been able to get quite a lot of his end of term paperwork done, and it had been nice to not spend the day sniping at one another. He was also, however, glad that Harry was finally able to get some good rest. There would soon be two babies to care for, and they would both be back to sleepless nights quickly enough.


After a few more moments by Harry's side, Severus wandered back out into the living room and sat down with a glass of brandy. He sat gazing into the empty fireplace for a bit, and then unable to resist, got up and threw a bit of floo powder in.


"Severus?" Poppy said when her head popped into sight. "Is it Harry? Are the babies coming?"


"It's Harry, but he's asleep," Severus said, "he's been sleeping all day."


"Are you complaining, Severus?" Poppy snickered, earning herself a scowl from the man.


"No, but...it is rather unusual, is it not?" Severus said, "he's been sleeping most of the day."


"Well, you can hardly blame him, Severus," Poppy said infuriatingly, "that's quite a load he's carrying. I'm sure he's worn out..."


"Yes, yes, I realise that," Severus said trying to keep his temper, "but is it normal? He hasn't been able to get comfortable enough to sleep, yet today he can barely keep his eyes open. Could there be something wrong?"


"Has he had any pain? Fever? Been ill?" Poppy asked.


"No, but..." Severus replied, suddenly feeling somewhat foolish.


"Then I would say he's simply tired," Poppy replied, her voice amused, "he has a big job ahead of him, giving birth, I'm sure his body is just preparing itself. As long as he isn't ill or in pain, let him sleep. You could do with some yourself, Severus. You're going to have your hands full soon enough."


There was no denying he was tired himself. "Thank you, Poppy," Severus said, his relief that everything was alright sounding in his voice. "I think I'll do just that."


"Good night then," Poppy chuckled and closed the connection.


***************************************


A loud shreik woke Severus from a dead sleep and he groggily stumbled to the bathroom, where he found a wide eyed and obviously shocked Harry.


"What's wrong?" Severus barked loudly, wincing as he did. His nerve endings were tingling from being jolted from such a deep sleep, but he was still only half awake and still fuzzy headed.


"M-my....it...its...gone!" Harry babbled, clutching Severus' arm in a deathgrip.


"Gone?" Severus frowned, still not thinking clearly. "What's gone?"


"My bits!" Harry shreiked, terror making his voice shrill, "My...my c-cock! Its gone! Look!" he wailed and pulled his nightshirt up with a shaky hand.


Severus did and felt himself pale.


He was certainly wide awake now.


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