Heat

CHAPTER 18: OUCH! Sometimes Talking Hurts







As the witch and her wolf made their way up the stairs, eight very relieved wizards said goodbye to the clergyman and gathered at a large round table. From a cupboard floated cards and multicolored chips while snacks and drinks appeared on the table all around. Finally they would enjoy a game of Wizards Hold Em without having to contend with the needs and cravings of a pregnant witch.





“Seems like he got off pretty easy with Hermione, she didn’t seem angry at him at all.” Harry said.





“Not to worry, she just didn’t care to make a scene in front of all of us. I suspect we will soon hear the fireworks.” Snape said, smirking.





“You peeked didn’t you Severus?” Sirius asked, more than curious about what he had seen and jealous as hell that Legilimency was not one of his talents.





“Just a little.” He said, looking at his cards and sipping his fire-whiskey.





“Should we be worried about Remus?” Ron asked.





“Ouch! What the hell was that for?” They heard Remus shout from upstairs. Snape snickered and tossed a couple of chips into the pile in the center of the table. Not a one of the wizards felt sorry for him. They had dealt with his mate’s fluctuating mood swings for the last several months; he deserved whatever torture she felt like handing out.

















Remus rubbed the spot on the back of his head and watched his new bride make her way across the room. She had no sooner shut the bedroom door when she slapped him hard in the back of his head.





“Ouch, what the hell was that for?” He yelled, rubbing his abused head and wondering if he would be concussed from the abuse he had taken already this night.





“That was for being an idiot, and a coward.” She was stacking several pillows up against the headboard before she sat down and reclined against them.





“Spousal abuse is illegal you know.” He grumped as he pulled the chair from her desk across the room to her bedside and sat down.





“Well it should be illegal for morons to impregnate witches and take off.” She opened her pint of ice cream and rested the little carton on her tummy and started eating.





“I didn’t realize you had conceived when I left Hermione; I did not sense the child….”





“You are so full of bullshit I’m surprised you don’t smell.” She snorted, shoveling in large spoonfuls of ice cream. “You knew full well what was happening those last few times when we were together, you told me yourself that you could sense when I was fertile and what it did to you. So move on and try again.” She whacked him in the center of his forehead with her cold spoon.





“Are you all dead set on scrambling my brains?” He asked, frowning as he rubbed over the spot she hit.





“At the moment I could care less you selfish ass. Try thinking about someone else’s feelings for once.” Hermione said, digging through the Cherry Garcia in search of more chocolate slivers.





“Selfish? I don’t see you giving a damn about my feelings just now.” He grumbled, watching her lick the ice cream from her spoon.





“I’m pregnant, and it’s your fault, I don’t have to care about your feelings if I don’t want to. My body, my hormones, my perogative.” She said, sighing as she closed her eyes and basked in the satisfaction of her craving.







“I see, so because you’re pregnant, by me, then it is my prerogative to accept your verbal and occasional physical abuse?” He asked, completely baffled by this odd, emotional creature devouring ice cream as though she were starving.





“See? I knew you weren’t a complete idiot. You just appear to be emotionally retarded.” She said, smiling so prettily at him he could almost overlook the insult.





“Had I known, I would not have left.” He said firmly.





“Yes you would have. I knew all along you would run away eventually.” She said.





“If you knew, then why did you press so hard for us to be together?” He asked, wondering if she was going to scrape the bottom out of the container as she pouted at its now empty interior.





“Because I love you.” She sat the empty carton and spoon on the nightstand and folded her hands over the mound of her belly. “You wish you could run now don’t you?”







“I won’t leave you. You are my wife now, for better or worse.” He said. “I’m not sure how I am going to support a wife and family however, I will need to look into a post somewhere.”





“No need, my parents left me quite well off. I bought that cottage in Inis Oirr; it’s under construction right now. I had an addition put on, made it big enough for the family. Had the cellar redone too, so it would be more comfortable for you.” She said, scratching her nails over the stretched and itchy skin of her belly.





“So you would have tried to find me eventually?” He asked. She reached into the nightstand and withdrew a small container. He watched her pull up her shirt and start rubbing a vanilla scented cream onto her belly.





“I knew where you were Remus.” She said, smiling at the expression on his face.





“How did you know?”





“I had Kingsley Shacklebolt cast the occasional locator spell to find you.”







“How and why did your army of bodyguards come after me?” He saw a tiny bump push up on her tummy and smiled.





“Well, now that was a surprise. They have been pretty ticked at me for not telling them who the baby’s father was. Though apparently Sirius knew all along. I had no idea they would go after you, much less assault you.” She said, putting the lid back on the cream and replacing it in the drawer.





“My head still aches from being held upside down for so long by Snape.” He groused, rubbing his temples.





“I know, isn’t he sweet?” She smiled. Remus looked up at her as if she had lost her mind.





“Did you just call Snape sweet?”







“Yes. He really is a doll. He made me the cream there so my tummy wouldn’t itch any longer and I wouldn’t get stretch marks. And he gives the best foot rubs.” She closed her eyes and sighed dramatically, and that annoyed him.





“Why would Severus Snape be rubbing your feet, and since when is he nice to anyone?”

Hermione tugged her pant legs up to show him her slightly swollen feet and ankles.





“They hurt and they swell. It’s not easy carrying around all this extra weight, and he still has almost three months in here before I’m done, so it’s only going to get worse. And he’s not nice to anyone other than me. I’m special.” She seemed almost petulant and he began to get nervous that this odd ride he was on was about to take another unexpected turn. “Maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation if I’d been assigned with him. I doubt he would have run off and left me alone and pregnant.” She glared at Remus.





“He also doesn’t turn into an animal once a month that could tear you to shreds in a heartbeat!” He was angry that she might prefer Severus to him.







“Oh shut your whining Remus.” She gave a rather unladylike snort of disgust. “I get so tired of hearing it! Oh poor me, I’m a werewolf, I love you but I don’t want to hurt you, I was doing what was best for everyone involved, it’s best if I remain alone….blah…blah….blah!” She hit him with a pillow and glared at him. “Get over yourself Remus!”





“Damn it! That’s thrice now that you have hit me!”





“And I’ll hit you some more until I knock some sense into your thick ass skull!” She swung the pillow again and almost knocked him off of the chair. “You will get NO pity from me Remus! I don’t feel sorry for you in the slightest little bit you whiny little martyr.” She watched as he began glancing towards the door. “You want to know what the last six months have been like? I wake up after spending the night with the man I love to find he has run away. A month later I can’t move without puking my guts up. I find out that I am carrying your child, and you have moved several times to avoid being found. My boobs hurt, my back hurts, and I have to pee every five minutes. My feet are swollen, my hands are swollen, my belly is huge, and it itches! I have a person inside me who never stops moving. He kicks my ribs, my kidneys; he lies on my spine so that I can not walk because I have so much pain in my butt cheeks. He uses my bladder like a trampoline and these damned hormones make me so damned horny I can’t see straight. So, please Remus, wont you whine some more about having to spend one night a month in the cellar?” Her face was red and her chest was heaving.







Remus was confused, and a bit frightened. Her graphic detailing of her pregnancy was enlightening but her tone was flat out scary.





“I….I…..um…..”





“Don’t say anything, I’m hungry, go get me something to eat.” She huffed, then rolled over onto her side and presented him with her back.





“But you just ate the ice cream?” He said, wondering how she could possibly be hungry. Hermione looked over her shoulder; the look in her eyes could cut through steel. “Yes dear.” He scrambled from the chair and out of the room.













“Ah, see I told you she wouldn’t kill him.” Snape said when he saw the haggard looking Remus stagger into the room.





“What in the hell….she’s scary!” He said, snatching up Sirius’s glass of fire-whiskey and downing it before reaching for Severus’s, and finishing it off as well.





“You’ve only had to deal with her for an hour; we’ve been going through this for the last six months. The only person she likes is Severus.” Sirius said, tipping his head in Snape’s direction.





“So I hear. She’s been going on about how sweet he is. By the way, Severus, I’ll thank you not to be touching my wife’s feet in the future.” Remus said. Severus smiled and shook his head.





“Can’t promise anything, you will quickly learn that you do not refuse her requests or things break.” He smiled. “Why are you down here anyhow? Shouldn’t you be getting “reacquainted”, it is your wedding night.”





“She sent me for a snack. I have no idea how she could be hungry again, she ate all that ice cream.” Ron jumped up and stared at Remus in horror.





“She sent you for food and you’re standing there chatting?” Ron popped out of sight.





“Where did he go?” Remus asked.





“To get her majesty something to eat and probably saving your ass.” Sirius said, tossing his cards face down on the table. “I’m out.” Ron popped back into view with a sack from a muggle fast food chain and shoved it into Remus’s hands.





“Go, hurry before she starts yelling.” Ron said, shoving Remus towards the stairs. Apparently his hormonal little witch had the lot of them trained like little puppies.











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If youve never been pregnant, this might seem insane, if you have, then you understand completely LOL