Why Fred and George Will Never Eavesdrop Again ...
Why Bill Weasley Wants ... a cellyophone
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever.....?
Who dares to love forever?[i]
The music blared, loud and tinny from somewhere on the floor, forcing the dog pile of men still asleep in the far upstairs bedroom of Grimmauld Place to their feet, panicked, searching for the source.
“Bloody hells! I think it is the phone thing, Lupin!” screeched Sirius in dismay. “Make it stop!”
Ungracefully, Lupin fell off the bed, onto the cold, hard floor, and retrieved the racket-making gizmo from underneath the bed. “Hello?” Lupin answered warily as he fell onto his back with a quiet oomph.
“Uhm, yes, Lord Voldemort here. May I speak with Albus Dumbledore, please?”
Lupin stared, completely dumbstruck at the phone in his hand, then looked up at other three men all who were watching him closely.
He swallowed hard, shook his head to clear away the hangover effects, then smoothly answered, “I’m afraid Headmaster Dumbledore is unavailable at the moment. May I have him return your call?”
“Oh, well yes, I’d appreciate that,” the Dark Lord fumbled.
“Yes, sir. As soon as he returns,” Lupin muttered before ending the call.
“What is that thing, Remus?” Bill inquired from the middle of the bed.
“A cellyophone!” Sirius exclaimed. “Who was calling?” he asked eagerly.
“Blood fucking Voldemort,” Remus answered dully. “Fucking bloody Voldemort.”
“Stop saying that name!” Snape growled menacingly before pulling the pillows up over his head to drown out any further conversation.
“Oh , for fuck’s sake, Remus!” Sirius moaned.
“I know! I know!” Remus stuttered.
Bill burst out laughing, near hysteria, rolling on the rumpled bed. “Who wants to live forever?” he sang out, slightly off tune. “Who picked that? I'm going to have to get me a cellyophone."
[i] From Queen’s Who Wants to Live Forever, aka the theme song for the Highlander TV Series
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