TRYING TO REMEMBER
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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Remus/Sirius
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
22
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5,222
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Remus/Sirius
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
22
Views:
5,222
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
AN UNEXPECTED ALLY
Remus looked at Sirius. “The Pettigrew that framed you is a rat?”
“Sort of.” Harry let go of Peter who stayed still as Sirius pointed his wand at him and instantly he became the small, pudgy rat like looking man.”
Remus did the unexpected and lunged at Peter choking him. “How dare you hide in Harry’s bag after what you did to Sirius, and to Harry’s parent?”
Sirius & Harry dragged him off Peter. “Okay Pettigrew, what do you want. He took out a vial. Sirius and Harry stood there with their mouths open.
“What is it?” asked Remus.
“Is that what I think it is?” asked Sirius.
Peter handed it to him.
“What is it?” asked Remus again.
Sirius and Harry looked up at him. Finally Sirius spoke “A memory.”
“Mine?”
“I think so but we’ll need a pensieve to make sure. Any ideas Harry?”
“Maybe Slughorn will let us borrow the one Snape left here after he fled.”
“Why you little…” Sirius grabbed Remus before he went after Peter again.
“Well to the dungeons.”
Sirius grabbed Remus turned him so they were facing each other. Sirius put a hand behind his neck pulled him so their foreheads were touching.
“Don’t worry we’ll get to the bottom of this?” And gave him a quick kiss.
Grabbed his hand and led him to the potions master’s office. The door was locked so they snuck to see if he was teaching classes. Sure enough there he was teaching seventh years Harry caught Ginny’s eye and waved at her.
“We have an illustrious guest here today.”
“Ask him,” said Sirius.
“Why me?”
“Take a look around. You have a former convict, a fugitive death eater, a werewolf, and the chosen one. Which one would Slughorn listen to? Besides he spotted you already.”
“Fine. You owe me Sirius”
“Put it on my tab.”
“Hello Professor.” He gave Ginny a quick smile. “Do still have Snape’s pensieve?”
“Yeah haven’t used it for awhile it’s in storage on the third floor. I’m sure you know where.”
Harry winked at Ginny as he passed her by.
“Third floor storage.”
“Peter I think you should turn back into the rat.”
“Okay.”
Then Peter turned back to the rat.
“That’s cool.”
“What?”
“That he can turn into an animal.”
Sirius grabbed Remus by the waist as they walked. “He’s not the only one.”
“You can too?”
“Show me.”
“Not this second, I’m still illegal.”
“When are you going to fix that Sirius?” asked Harry.
“I haven’t really had a chance.”
They were on the third floor and entered the long hallway there stood the statue of the hump backed witch. If this wasn’t so important he would drag Remus to the tunnel to get some snogging and maybe some shagging like they did so many times while in school.
They found the room. The room that used to house Fluffy. There it was in the corner covered in a sheet. Sirius removed the sheet it was still very clean. He took the vial dumped the contents in the bowl and it started to swirl around.
“Harry stay here with Remus, while the rat and I authenticate the memory.
“I want to come.”
“Babe, no.”
“Why not it’s my memory?”
“It might not be or it might be bad, real bad.”
“I need to know good or bad.” Remus looked at him with those pleading eyes he almost never used.
“Fine, stay close to me then.”
“Harry can you join us and keep an eye on him.”
“Sure.”
As soon as they stepped in Sirius had a tear in his eye. It was by far the happiest moment of his life and the only people whoever knew was the two of them. The night they stood by whatever entity and vowed to love each other. The night in their hearts they got married.
“It’s real let’s go.”
“But I don’t see anything, why don’t I see anything?”
“You’re blindfolded luv. This is your memory of something that happened.”
“I want to see.”
The blindfold came off and in a clearing hung hundreds of white candles. It seemed like both memory Remus and the real Remus turned to their Sirius’ and at the same time said “It’s beautiful.”
Then he looked at memory Sirius who was dressed in grey-blue silk robes with gold threading going through them. His hair was just a tad shorter than it is now and it looked gorgeous, healthy and shiny. Everything looked gorgeous. He wore a beige robe that glimmered when he moved.
Real Remus turned to Sirius “You look so…”
“Shhh. Watch.”
“Sirius this you it’s absolutely amazing. Elaborate for the last night at my cottage before we go to Grimmauld Place.”
“Remus I need something to hold onto, something to wipe away all the betrayal, and suspicions we both had. Make it all go away; know once and for all that we can trust each other no matter what.” Remus looked down. “No babe if I trusted you things could have been a lot different. James and Lily would still be alive; Harry would have had a happy home.”
“You don’t know that. You could be dead along side them. And call me selfish I’m glad you’re here. Here with me under the new moon with all these beautiful candles with that beautiful trestle with both our favorite flowers on it.” Remus was in tears by now. “I’m sorry Jams and Lily are dead, I’m sorry Harry had has such a horrible life, I’m sorry I didn’t take my potion last year and the fucking rat got away. But mostly I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to stand by you all those years ago. But I’m not sorry that we’re here together now. We can take care of Harry; I know he’s the most important thing in your life and maybe mine. The night Harry was born I couldn’t help but think of the baby Lily and I made together. If she had lived. That night I fell in love with Harry maybe I’m not his father or godfather but I do love him. I know I’ll never have my own children and we missed so much of Harry’s upbringing.”
“I know babe.”
The real Sirius looked at his Remus who tears in his eyes, went behind him and put his arms around him.
“This is so sad.”
“Watch, babe.”
“And that brings us here. We both love Harry and we both understand Harry comes first in both our lives. Remus I don’t want to live another minute without you.” Sirius got down on one knee. “Remus John Lupin will you do me the honor of marrying me? I know it won’t be recognized in either wizarding world or muggle world. But it will be recognized by us and our hearts. I love you Remus and I never want to let you go again.”
“You broke up with me, so I left.”
“I went looking for you. Your mother told me to drop dead. Will you?”
“Sirius, this is one of your spur of the moment damn the consequences things.”
“No. See this ring? Look at the inscription.” Remus looked down and read, ‘Say yes 31-10-1981’.
“Remus was in tears. “Yes.”
Sirius gave one of those big smiles that only he could give. “I want to profess my love to you and whatever entity is listening out there.”
“Under the trestle?”
“How did you guess?”
They stood under the trestle and looked at each other.
“I know that I’m not the best boyfriend. I’ve treated you like shit sometimes over the years. It seemed like I didn’t love you, but I have Remus I’ve always loved you. Every day while in Azkaban I thought of you and it made the day bearable. At Hogwarts I saw you walking the grounds one day I wanted to reveal myself to you. I wanted to kiss you and hold you and tell you I didn’t do it. Then someone would show up and I’d lose my chance. In the shack that night when you gave me that hug at that moment it didn’t mean that much to me I just wanted to kill Peter. Bust as I flew away on Buckbeak and I had my thoughts it reminded me of home. I went after Peter without thinking of the consequences. Remus, I promise to try and stop doing stupid and irrational things not thinking of the consequences. I promise to always love you and take care of you. I’ve missed you so much these past fourteen years.”
“Sirius you’ve done so much for me be my friend when I though no one would be my lover when I thought that no one could. You were there in my darkest hours. You made my transformations bearable. I love it the hour be fore I transform and you’re just holding me, stroking my hair kissing the top of my head. I always feel so loved in those moments. I some how knew something was amiss with you killing the rat and twelve muggles but you know me follow the crowd too cowardly to voice my own opinions. Some Gryffindor I am.”
“Babe you’re he bravest person I know. I wish I could be more like you. I love everything about you that’s why we’re here. That’s why I have this.
Sirius took the ring and placed it on Remus finger
“I, Sirius Orion Black take you Remus John Lupin as my partner. I will love, honor, and cherish you, in good times and in bad, and promise to stay true to you as long as we shall live. I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let it always be a reminder of my vows to you.
Remus took the other took the other ring out of the box and inscribed ‘Yes’ 07-07-1995’.
“I, Remus John Lupin take you Sirius Orion Black as my partner. I will love, honor, and cherish you, in good times and in bad, and promise to stay true to you as long as we shall live. I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let it always be a reminder of my vows to you
“With no power vested in me I now pronounce us married in every way. May I now kiss the bride?”
“Who says I’m the bride.”
“You’re such a girl, babe.”
“C’mere” They kissed a very long, long kiss. Remus took a glass of champagne that was conjured by Sirius.
“To Lily and James. We miss you severely.”
And a beautiful four poster bed was conjured with lace and pillows and lots of curtains.
“Tonight we sleep under the stars.”
“I don’t think we’ll be sleeping much.”
“Neither do I.”
“Okay folks shows over, out.” As the other three left the pensieve Sirius looked back just in time to see a blue robe drop to the ground.
As Sirius got out of the pensieve, Remus was holding Peter at wand point and Harry was trying to hold him back. “Where are the Pettigrew I want my memories back.”
“Snape, Malfoy and the LeStranges have them. Well not all of them.”
“Where are the rest?”
“You have them. They did a Memory Charm that didn’t completely take. You’re starting to remember things right?”
“Yeah.”
“They want me to implant these three memories into you. One is yours overhearing Sirius and Snape having sex.”
“I never had sex with Snape!!”
“Yeah you did luv.”
“I would have died.”
“Sirius what did you find in the basement of that house raid?” asked Peter.
“The minister and David Wilkinson.”
“And why would they keep a nobody like Wilkinson?”
“Oh gross.”
Sirius ran to the nearest bathroom and threw up.
“You said there were three memories.”
“The last two are Snape’s at Shaklebolt’s party and Grimmauld Place. They’d be painful, Remus. It’s Sirius and Snape/David in the act. It’s up to you what you want to see. If it were up to me I wouldn’t want to know.”
“Wormtail you almost sound decent”, interjected Sirius.
“I know what I did was wrong. James and Lily would still be alive. I am trying to atone for things, believe it or not. Here,” Peter took out a piece of paper and handed it to Sirius, “it’s the countercurse.”
Sirius eyes went wide. “How?”
“I retrieved it from the fireplace.”
“Harry stay here with Remus, while Wormtail and I go get Remus’ memories.”
“NO!!” They both said.
Harry who had been quite all this time taking it all in. “The remaining powerful deatheaters are there I want them. I have a score to settle with Snape.”
“You told me I was a very powerful wizard let me get my memories back and be one.”
“I can’t lose you Remus.”
“Nor I lose you, again.”
“Just be careful. We’re apparating I take it?”
“Fastest way.”
“Here hold my waist.”
The four appeared in front of the old run down house.
“How many wards?”
“Five.”
Within five minutes they were in. Peter led them to the room with the pensieve. The door was unguarded which was unusual. They walked in and there in the middle of the room was a stone bowl filled with Remus’ memories.
“Sort of.” Harry let go of Peter who stayed still as Sirius pointed his wand at him and instantly he became the small, pudgy rat like looking man.”
Remus did the unexpected and lunged at Peter choking him. “How dare you hide in Harry’s bag after what you did to Sirius, and to Harry’s parent?”
Sirius & Harry dragged him off Peter. “Okay Pettigrew, what do you want. He took out a vial. Sirius and Harry stood there with their mouths open.
“What is it?” asked Remus.
“Is that what I think it is?” asked Sirius.
Peter handed it to him.
“What is it?” asked Remus again.
Sirius and Harry looked up at him. Finally Sirius spoke “A memory.”
“Mine?”
“I think so but we’ll need a pensieve to make sure. Any ideas Harry?”
“Maybe Slughorn will let us borrow the one Snape left here after he fled.”
“Why you little…” Sirius grabbed Remus before he went after Peter again.
“Well to the dungeons.”
Sirius grabbed Remus turned him so they were facing each other. Sirius put a hand behind his neck pulled him so their foreheads were touching.
“Don’t worry we’ll get to the bottom of this?” And gave him a quick kiss.
Grabbed his hand and led him to the potions master’s office. The door was locked so they snuck to see if he was teaching classes. Sure enough there he was teaching seventh years Harry caught Ginny’s eye and waved at her.
“We have an illustrious guest here today.”
“Ask him,” said Sirius.
“Why me?”
“Take a look around. You have a former convict, a fugitive death eater, a werewolf, and the chosen one. Which one would Slughorn listen to? Besides he spotted you already.”
“Fine. You owe me Sirius”
“Put it on my tab.”
“Hello Professor.” He gave Ginny a quick smile. “Do still have Snape’s pensieve?”
“Yeah haven’t used it for awhile it’s in storage on the third floor. I’m sure you know where.”
Harry winked at Ginny as he passed her by.
“Third floor storage.”
“Peter I think you should turn back into the rat.”
“Okay.”
Then Peter turned back to the rat.
“That’s cool.”
“What?”
“That he can turn into an animal.”
Sirius grabbed Remus by the waist as they walked. “He’s not the only one.”
“You can too?”
“Show me.”
“Not this second, I’m still illegal.”
“When are you going to fix that Sirius?” asked Harry.
“I haven’t really had a chance.”
They were on the third floor and entered the long hallway there stood the statue of the hump backed witch. If this wasn’t so important he would drag Remus to the tunnel to get some snogging and maybe some shagging like they did so many times while in school.
They found the room. The room that used to house Fluffy. There it was in the corner covered in a sheet. Sirius removed the sheet it was still very clean. He took the vial dumped the contents in the bowl and it started to swirl around.
“Harry stay here with Remus, while the rat and I authenticate the memory.
“I want to come.”
“Babe, no.”
“Why not it’s my memory?”
“It might not be or it might be bad, real bad.”
“I need to know good or bad.” Remus looked at him with those pleading eyes he almost never used.
“Fine, stay close to me then.”
“Harry can you join us and keep an eye on him.”
“Sure.”
As soon as they stepped in Sirius had a tear in his eye. It was by far the happiest moment of his life and the only people whoever knew was the two of them. The night they stood by whatever entity and vowed to love each other. The night in their hearts they got married.
“It’s real let’s go.”
“But I don’t see anything, why don’t I see anything?”
“You’re blindfolded luv. This is your memory of something that happened.”
“I want to see.”
The blindfold came off and in a clearing hung hundreds of white candles. It seemed like both memory Remus and the real Remus turned to their Sirius’ and at the same time said “It’s beautiful.”
Then he looked at memory Sirius who was dressed in grey-blue silk robes with gold threading going through them. His hair was just a tad shorter than it is now and it looked gorgeous, healthy and shiny. Everything looked gorgeous. He wore a beige robe that glimmered when he moved.
Real Remus turned to Sirius “You look so…”
“Shhh. Watch.”
“Sirius this you it’s absolutely amazing. Elaborate for the last night at my cottage before we go to Grimmauld Place.”
“Remus I need something to hold onto, something to wipe away all the betrayal, and suspicions we both had. Make it all go away; know once and for all that we can trust each other no matter what.” Remus looked down. “No babe if I trusted you things could have been a lot different. James and Lily would still be alive; Harry would have had a happy home.”
“You don’t know that. You could be dead along side them. And call me selfish I’m glad you’re here. Here with me under the new moon with all these beautiful candles with that beautiful trestle with both our favorite flowers on it.” Remus was in tears by now. “I’m sorry Jams and Lily are dead, I’m sorry Harry had has such a horrible life, I’m sorry I didn’t take my potion last year and the fucking rat got away. But mostly I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to stand by you all those years ago. But I’m not sorry that we’re here together now. We can take care of Harry; I know he’s the most important thing in your life and maybe mine. The night Harry was born I couldn’t help but think of the baby Lily and I made together. If she had lived. That night I fell in love with Harry maybe I’m not his father or godfather but I do love him. I know I’ll never have my own children and we missed so much of Harry’s upbringing.”
“I know babe.”
The real Sirius looked at his Remus who tears in his eyes, went behind him and put his arms around him.
“This is so sad.”
“Watch, babe.”
“And that brings us here. We both love Harry and we both understand Harry comes first in both our lives. Remus I don’t want to live another minute without you.” Sirius got down on one knee. “Remus John Lupin will you do me the honor of marrying me? I know it won’t be recognized in either wizarding world or muggle world. But it will be recognized by us and our hearts. I love you Remus and I never want to let you go again.”
“You broke up with me, so I left.”
“I went looking for you. Your mother told me to drop dead. Will you?”
“Sirius, this is one of your spur of the moment damn the consequences things.”
“No. See this ring? Look at the inscription.” Remus looked down and read, ‘Say yes 31-10-1981’.
“Remus was in tears. “Yes.”
Sirius gave one of those big smiles that only he could give. “I want to profess my love to you and whatever entity is listening out there.”
“Under the trestle?”
“How did you guess?”
They stood under the trestle and looked at each other.
“I know that I’m not the best boyfriend. I’ve treated you like shit sometimes over the years. It seemed like I didn’t love you, but I have Remus I’ve always loved you. Every day while in Azkaban I thought of you and it made the day bearable. At Hogwarts I saw you walking the grounds one day I wanted to reveal myself to you. I wanted to kiss you and hold you and tell you I didn’t do it. Then someone would show up and I’d lose my chance. In the shack that night when you gave me that hug at that moment it didn’t mean that much to me I just wanted to kill Peter. Bust as I flew away on Buckbeak and I had my thoughts it reminded me of home. I went after Peter without thinking of the consequences. Remus, I promise to try and stop doing stupid and irrational things not thinking of the consequences. I promise to always love you and take care of you. I’ve missed you so much these past fourteen years.”
“Sirius you’ve done so much for me be my friend when I though no one would be my lover when I thought that no one could. You were there in my darkest hours. You made my transformations bearable. I love it the hour be fore I transform and you’re just holding me, stroking my hair kissing the top of my head. I always feel so loved in those moments. I some how knew something was amiss with you killing the rat and twelve muggles but you know me follow the crowd too cowardly to voice my own opinions. Some Gryffindor I am.”
“Babe you’re he bravest person I know. I wish I could be more like you. I love everything about you that’s why we’re here. That’s why I have this.
Sirius took the ring and placed it on Remus finger
“I, Sirius Orion Black take you Remus John Lupin as my partner. I will love, honor, and cherish you, in good times and in bad, and promise to stay true to you as long as we shall live. I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let it always be a reminder of my vows to you.
Remus took the other took the other ring out of the box and inscribed ‘Yes’ 07-07-1995’.
“I, Remus John Lupin take you Sirius Orion Black as my partner. I will love, honor, and cherish you, in good times and in bad, and promise to stay true to you as long as we shall live. I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let it always be a reminder of my vows to you
“With no power vested in me I now pronounce us married in every way. May I now kiss the bride?”
“Who says I’m the bride.”
“You’re such a girl, babe.”
“C’mere” They kissed a very long, long kiss. Remus took a glass of champagne that was conjured by Sirius.
“To Lily and James. We miss you severely.”
And a beautiful four poster bed was conjured with lace and pillows and lots of curtains.
“Tonight we sleep under the stars.”
“I don’t think we’ll be sleeping much.”
“Neither do I.”
“Okay folks shows over, out.” As the other three left the pensieve Sirius looked back just in time to see a blue robe drop to the ground.
As Sirius got out of the pensieve, Remus was holding Peter at wand point and Harry was trying to hold him back. “Where are the Pettigrew I want my memories back.”
“Snape, Malfoy and the LeStranges have them. Well not all of them.”
“Where are the rest?”
“You have them. They did a Memory Charm that didn’t completely take. You’re starting to remember things right?”
“Yeah.”
“They want me to implant these three memories into you. One is yours overhearing Sirius and Snape having sex.”
“I never had sex with Snape!!”
“Yeah you did luv.”
“I would have died.”
“Sirius what did you find in the basement of that house raid?” asked Peter.
“The minister and David Wilkinson.”
“And why would they keep a nobody like Wilkinson?”
“Oh gross.”
Sirius ran to the nearest bathroom and threw up.
“You said there were three memories.”
“The last two are Snape’s at Shaklebolt’s party and Grimmauld Place. They’d be painful, Remus. It’s Sirius and Snape/David in the act. It’s up to you what you want to see. If it were up to me I wouldn’t want to know.”
“Wormtail you almost sound decent”, interjected Sirius.
“I know what I did was wrong. James and Lily would still be alive. I am trying to atone for things, believe it or not. Here,” Peter took out a piece of paper and handed it to Sirius, “it’s the countercurse.”
Sirius eyes went wide. “How?”
“I retrieved it from the fireplace.”
“Harry stay here with Remus, while Wormtail and I go get Remus’ memories.”
“NO!!” They both said.
Harry who had been quite all this time taking it all in. “The remaining powerful deatheaters are there I want them. I have a score to settle with Snape.”
“You told me I was a very powerful wizard let me get my memories back and be one.”
“I can’t lose you Remus.”
“Nor I lose you, again.”
“Just be careful. We’re apparating I take it?”
“Fastest way.”
“Here hold my waist.”
The four appeared in front of the old run down house.
“How many wards?”
“Five.”
Within five minutes they were in. Peter led them to the room with the pensieve. The door was unguarded which was unusual. They walked in and there in the middle of the room was a stone bowl filled with Remus’ memories.