Dance With The Devil

ok ok i know i havn't updated in a while....exams are brutal!
ok i got a joke...i know weird. if you don't like dirty jokes...skip over this..lol...i thinkits funny tho.

What do an anniversary, a toilet bowl and the clitoris have in common to men?
ok ok read the chappie and then ill tell you!

*on to the story!!*
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Hermione woke the next morning to something poking her in the back. She moaned turned her head a buried it more into the pillow. The poking increased.
“Mione. Come on.”
She heard Harry’s voice. Harry’s voice?? In Severus’ bedroom?
She opened her eyes to the sound. There was Harry and Ron…looking very nervous.
“We were waiting for you to get up. But you weren’t. So we casually asked a house elf where you were. So hurry up and get up before Snape catches us in here!”
“Ok ok, go wait for me in the front entrance hall.”

Hermione got up and began to get ready for the day. She put on some comfortable clothes, tucked her wand on her bag and the school book list she had bribed Severus into giving her. She ventured down to the front hall to meet Harry and Ron when a voice called out to her. She followed it to the study. She found her husband there with papers spread out all over his desk.
“When you purchase things today please tell them to charge it to my account at Gringotts. Just sign your new name and it will be taken care of. Show them this if they give you any trouble.” He handed her his seal.
“Are you sure? I was going to buy my school supplies and some new clothes.”
“Yes I am quite sure. You can also tell them to ship everything here and you won’t have to carry it around.”
“Thank you Severus. Is there anything you need or want while I am there?”
He looked thoughtful for a moment.
“Yes I need a new pair of dragon hide gloves for gardening.” Hermione snickered. “Please get me a pair from Quality Quidditch, they have the best for my uses.”
“Great. I am never going to be able to leave that store if Harry and Ron follow me in. I was going to try and sneak in and get Harry a birthday present.”
“Have a good time.” He said to her.
She walked around the desk and kissed him on the cheek.
“Thank you.” She said as she walked out.

The trio flooed to the Leakey Cauldron and began their walk up the Alley.
“Let’s get our school shopping out of the way first.” Hermione suggested.
“Yeah right you just want to go get near the books.” Ron said to her, Harry snorted.
The proceeded in and Hermione veered to the left and the boys to the quidditch section on the right. She thumbed through the stacks. Nothing catching her eye. She was keeping an eye out for a present for Harry. She gave up and settled on a book about transfiguring charms and went to the counter. Harry and Ron were already waiting with their parcels. She placed the book on the counter and then passed the list for her texts for September.

The manager retrieved her books and added up the total.
“Please charge it to the account of Severus Snape.”
“And you are?”
“His wife.” Hermione replied.
“Oh really? You look a little young to be his wife. Especially since you are a student and I am aware he is a professor at Hogwarts.”
“Believe me I am well aware of that fact too. Marriage law.” She stated simply, showing her ring and the seal.
“Ahh.” The manger sighed. He retrieved a slip of paper and Hermione signed her name. She had to pause when starting her last name and remember to write Snape.
“Would you like these sent somewhere then?”
“Yes please send all of these to Snape Manor. Thank you very much.” She turned and left the store with the boys trailing after her.
“’Mione, you didn’t have to have our stuff sent ahead.” Harry said to her.
‘It’s ok Harry, this was we don’t have to carry anything. Let’s go to the Quidditch store.”

Ron looked as if his birthday had come early. He scrambled ahead of them.
When they entered the store Hermione located Severus’ new gloves quickly. Now she just needed to find something for Harry without him seeing. She finally decided on a new custom seat for Harry’s broom. She paid for the items separately, she didn’t think it was fair that Severus pay for Harry’s present, and had them shipped. She found the boys trying on different team jerseys.
“I need some new robes, so I am going to head there. Do you mind if I leave you here? I know you wouldn’t want to come with me.”
“No it’s fine ‘Mione. Come and find us where your done. We will be here or in Fred and Georges shop.”
“Ok bye guys.”

She started to walk towards Madam Malkin’s, but half way there changes her mind. I’m a married women now. Why shouldn’t I have nice things? She thought to herself. She knew she was being really girly but hell, why not? She wasn’t paying. She changed direction and ventured into Twilfitt and Tatting’s.
“Can I help you?” The sales lady asked.
“Yes, I am looking to spruce up my wardrobe a little. I am recently married and I wish to seem well a little less young.”
“Married? You do seem a little young. Marriage law?”
“Yes. My husband is significantly older than me and I wish to at least look less like a student.”
“You attend Hogwarts?”
“I do and my husband happens to work there.”
“Alright dear, I am going to outfit you with some new school robes. They are going to be a bit more feminine and less bulky like the standard robes. Some nice day robes would be good too. What’s you house?”
“Gryffindor, I was also wondering if I could get a new dress to wear to the Christmas ball this year.”
“Of course, please come this way.”
Hermione and the sales lady spent the next hour fitting her and refitting her. Although it was tedious work, Hermione appreciated the results.
“There.” The attendant said. “Now do you maybe want any under things to go with?”
Hermione thought, maybe a completely new wardrobe was in order. Once they were back at school Severus would be seeing her as a student again. She didn’t want him to look down on her.
“Yes I do believe I would like some.”
They spent the next half hour in more fittings. Finally Hermione had paid and had her things sent to the manor. She hoped Severus wouldn’t be too upset when he saw just how much she bought.

When she noticed the time she flew from the store. She went straight to Fred and George’s shop. She had taken so much time she figured they were gone from the Quidditch shop already. She was right. They were in there looking but not touching the products.
“Oi! ‘Mione where you been?” Ron bellowed.
“Shh I’m right here. Do you two want to go to lunch? I’m starving.”
“Alright, let’s ask Fred and George to come too.”
Ron bellowed at his brothers. They accepted the invitation and son the five of them were seated at the Leaky Cauldron having lunch. The twins teased Hermione about her husband non-stop. They were calling her Mrs. Bat now. She just laughed.
After lunch they ventured to the Apothecary to refill their potions supplies. They wandered back to the twins joke shop where Hermione picked up some pimple vanisher. She got extra because she knew the other girls at Hogwarts would be borrowing hers.

They flooed back to the manor where Ron and Harry gathered up their parcels and departed for the burrow. Harry informed her there was going to be a birthday party held for him at HQ this year and she was coming no matter what. Hermione went off in search of her parcels. She couldn’t find them anywhere. Harry and Ron’s had been in the front hall. She finally located them in the bedroom. Unfortunately she found her husband pawing through them.
“Excuse me.” She said to him.
He turned to look at her and she noticed he was holding one of the racier pieces of night wear the attendant had convinced her to buy. He promptly dropped it.
“Well, when 10 bags of things arrived here I wanted to know what you had bought. Plus I was looking for my gloves. The uh…roses need tending.”
“Nice try Severus. Everyone knows you hate roses. Besides you would have looked in the bags marked Quality Quidditch for your gloves. Those bags are untouched.” She picked up the nightie.
“Well then I wanted to see what you were spending my money on.”
“Your money? Your going to pull that after you said I could spend it?”
“Well then I was…dammit it I was curious ok?!” He had turned around and stalked over to the fire place.

Hermione laughed. She had never seen him act like this. She kinda liked it. She flounced to the bathroom and took off all her clothes and put the nightie on. It was quite revealing. I showed off her breasts, hugged her waist and was so short that if she bent over a little her bum stuck out.
She slowly walked to the fire place. Severus was on the couch facing it.
“Severus.” She crooned as she walked around the couch and stood in front of him.
He looked her up and down. Then leaned forward so his hands came to rest on the backs of her knees. He looked up at her and slowly moved his hands up to her waist where he pulled her down on top of him.
“Gods wench, your going to the sexual death of me.”
“Mmm, I know.” She said before he pulled her lips onto his.
They were kissing passionately while Hermione unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled his mouth away and muttered a spell and he was naked. Hermione moaned on top of him. She started to take off her nightie.
“No no, leave it on. What’s the point in putting it on if I’m going to take it off?”
She left the nightie on. Severus released one strap and freed her breast from it. He pulled her against him and laved attention on it. She moaned and tangled her hands into his hair. As elegantly as he could, Severus transferred them to the rug in front of the fire place where he continued his ministrations on her. She was panting and begging him to take her. He removed his hands from her body.
“What do you want Hermione?”
“Please? I need you.”
“Need me to what?”
“Severus! Please have sex with me, I need you so bad, touch me?”
“Better, as you wish.”
He pulled her knees up over his arms and plunged into her deeply. Hermione groaned at the pleasure he was releasing in her. He pushed into her at a furious pace. He was trying to elicit as much pleasure from her as possible. She looked to delectable in the nightie and all he could think about was coming inside her. Hermione suddenly started shaking and screaming under him. He grinned down at her. He knew she was coming. He keep pounding through her orgasm, making it longer. Soon he couldn’t hold back anymore, he pushed in deep two more times and finally came. He let out a gasp of “fucking nightie” and dropped down into Hermione.

When she had regained her breath Hermione rolled Severus off her, he looked quite content. She sat up, fixed the nightie and looked down at him.

“I also bought Harry a birthday present. He is having a party in a few weeks and we will probably have to go.”
“Ah so that’s the real reason you bought that little scrap of clothing. Trying to buy me with sex.”
“Did it work?” She grinned at him.
“Only if you shag me again in it.”
She laughed and proceeded to shower kisses down onto him.

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What do an anniversary, a toilet bowl and the clitoris have in common to men?

lol They always miss them!!! HAHAHAHAHA lol i know silly but fun.

R&R tell me if my joke is good.

PinkMartini