All the way IIII: Change

It turned out that Remus and Tonks had fallen asleep - or passed out as the case probably was - in Eileen’s bed. Sirius as Eileen watched his parent step into the emerald flames of the floo and disappeared.

Eileen sunk slowly onto the sofa, "I think I’ll go and see my mum and dad tomorrow."

Sirius nodded, sitting next to her and running his hand gently up and down her back, "If that's what you want. I know it will do you good to see them and... Talk to them."

She looked up at him, her black eyes shining, "Tell them, you mean. I... I don't know if I can. It happened such a long time ago... I'm not a Gryffindor; I can't be brave like that."

Sirius gathered her into his arms, drawing her close, and she complied slowly, "There's no such thing as bravery, only degrees of fear."

Looking at him through narrowed eyes, Eileen sat back slowly. She raised an eyebrow, "Did your dad tell you that?"

Sirius winced, "Did I sound like him?"

She smiled and nodded, "Yes. It seems like the type of thing he would say."

"He did tell me that." He nodded, "But it's true, isn't it."

Eileen shrugged and looked away, "I don't know. I want to tell them, but..."

"Don't think about it now." Sirius told her quietly, turning her to him, "You'll be fine."

He wrapped his large hands around her smaller ones and leaned forwards, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then her temple.

"Thank you," She whispered.

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Hermione took a deep breath, "I think I’ll start by saying sorry. You deserve that." She looked up Severus, "I am so sorry... It was my fault. I provoked him -"

"Provoked who?" Severus growled, though he had an idea. He also knew that Hermiones definition of 'provoked' was considerably different to every one else’s.

She smiled humorlessly, "You know who. He came down here, ranting about something he thought you had told Minerva. He thought I knew what you had told her, and he wanted me to tell him. But, obviously, I didn't know and he... decided he would use Legilimency." She sniffed and blinked hard.

Severus was shaking. He was so unbelievably furious that Swan, a sorry excuse for a human being, would go so far in harming his wife. If the 'man' had only been out of a coma for five years, how long had he taken to learn Legilimency? It was a hard thing to learn and if it was not perfected then it could be very uncomfortable for the person on the receiving end. Severus knew that Potter had found the lessons unpleasant, but Severus had done that on purpose. They could have been painless, had he liked the boy a whole lot more than he had back then.

The only thing keeping Severus from going to murder Swan straight away was the fact that he wanted to know exactly how much damage the man had done so he could cause him the amount of pain that he deserved.

"Well," Hermione went on, "I told you about the potion I tested. It erased every emotion that I could remember from the night the Death Eaters attacked my parents house. Do you remember me telling you that?"

"How could I forget?"

Her smile didn't reach her eyes, "Right. Anyway, it stopped working the moment he..." She waved her hand helplessly, "used the spell." Severus sat frozen, completely horrified. Hermione shrugged, "So... I could just remember. Everything. And it scared me so much. Well, you saw, didn't you? And then, a couple of days ago, Lucius came to see me and - as much as I hate to say it - he looks so much like his grandfather that he really scared me. I got rid of him and..." She wiped the tears from her cheeks, "You can't possibly understand how terrible I feel. I mean, me, always telling you to forget what people look like and I ran away from him because he has grey eyes! And there's more... You know I kept telling you that Eileen reminded me of some one." Severus nodded, "She reminded me of myself..."

Her hands covered her face, but Severus could see her shoulders shaking. He wasn't stupid; he knew what she meant about Eileen and, now he thought on it, he agreed and I made him feel like he was about to explode with fury.

When had he lost control? How had he let this happen? The two most precious people in his life had been hurt so badly in similar ways and he had been completely useless. He had been a spy for more years than he cared to remember and still he had been unable to do anything to help his wife or daughter. And Eileen could be any where in the world. They hadn't heard from her for... years.

Forcing himself to be gentle, even though his temper was bubbling dangerously close to the surface, Severus took Hermiones wrists and peeled her hands away from her face, whispering, "What about you? Are you alright?"

She hiccoughed and nodded, "Of course. After I realized what a mess I was making, I couldn't just stay in that state. You didn't deserve the way I treated you and Lucius didn't either. So I owled a woman, Toni. She's the Head of the Potions department at the Ministry. I... met her today and she gave me... she gave me more of the potion. The real thing, not a tester. They added another ingredient that protects people against Legilimency a couple of years ago..."

Every word was dragged from her. She wouldn't look at him, her face turned down and away. Self-loathing seeped from her.

"Merlin only knows what you must think of me," She sniffed, "Gryffindors aren't meant to take potions. They're meant to be brave and never be scared, no matter what. I think I should have been a Hufflepuff; I’m not very good a being a Gryffindor. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Severus told her, wrapping his arms around her, his heart squeezing, "I don't care if you're not a good Gryffindor; if you had told me earlier I would have forced that potion into you. There is no way on earth I would ever want you to live with memories like that. And I know that you think that you're a bad mother, but. You. Are. Not."

He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, gently. She curled her arms around his neck kissing him back, an apology for the last few days.

When Hermione drew back carefully, she was smiling a real - though slightly sly - smile, "Now, tell me about this blackmail."

Severus smirked darkly, "I never told Minerva anything. There was a rumor spreading that Professor Swan was a werewolf. Minerva wanted to speak to him and sort it out. I, however, have found out something much worse for his career. You see, I was wandering around the castle one night - as I do - and I just happened, purely by luck, to come across our Charms Professor in a very compromising position."

"Were you following him?" Hermione asked shrewdly.

"Would I do a thing like that? Anyway, of course I copied the memory and put it in a pensieve and now I am going to show Minerva exactly what I saw, before I satisfy my urge to get very, very violent with that man."

Hermione frowned, "What did you see? What compromising position?"

Severus stroked her hair away from her face, "Three words... Student. Teacher. Relationship."