Dear Lily *COMPLETE*

cateye: LOL. Sorry, but everytime I think of that theory I always drift to Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker... but they do have a lot of similarities. Yes, this is how I wish his life was as well, that's the reason that I wrote this story.



beeky63: Yes, this is like a soap opera isn't it. I hope you like the next two installments.



lisa: The muse has been fed too many times with this story. Believe it or not I started writing this one almost a year ago... it was originally PG... if you want I can email you the original version so that you can compare? There are only five more chapters to go... although I might write an extra one...



Dear Lily



Once I was dressed I went downstairs, Molly was waiting at the bottom with a cup of steaming hot coffee, and a fry up.



"Meals in Azkaban are horrendous Severus," she said sniffily. "Not fit for anyone!"



"I don't know, Molly," I replied taking the tray out of her hands. "They're fit for certain people."



She raised an eyebrow. A slow smile spread across her pretty face; I shook my head, well, I guess she was a red haired version of Hermione. Her eyes glowed.



"You look nice in those robes," she said. I smiled back, a smile that caused her to blush. "Where are you're old ones? I'll fix them up as good as new."



I bent down and kissed her on the cheek.



"You are an angel, Molly," I said. "Arthur knew exactly what he did when he asked you to marry him."



"Who said he asked me?" she asked with a hint of playfulness in her voice.



I sighed and walked into the study where I knew Harry was. He was hunched over the map, he had a compass, a scroll by him with a lot of calculations on it, the books were spread over the desk as well, and his glasses kept slipping off his nose, he looked completely wrecked.



"Hello," he mumbled, as he went to the scroll and put something on there. "Won't be long."



I looked around and there was a sofa I sat on it and began to eat my delicious meal of eggs and sausages and tomatoes. I heard a faint scribble and the tap of the quill being put on the table, he then walked over to me and sat in the chair opposite me.



"You look tired," I said. "I hear you've been a bit busy."



"I thought of busting you out of there personally; but Hermione didn't think that would work."



I rolled my eyes and went back to my meal. I put some egg yolk and sausage on a slice of toast.



"I had a visit from Percy Weasley," I said gulping down the toast and took a swig of the coffee.



"Oh," I saw his expression go flint hard, no love lost between these two then. "And what does Pompous Percy have to say for himself?"



"Not much worth listening to, he was very derogatory about his mother, something of which made me lose my cool, he punched me in the stomach when I called him a mouse!"



Potter sniggered.



"That's about right," he looked at me. "I suppose you've heard about Professor McGonagall?"



"Yes tragic," I said genuinely. A lump came to my throat. I remember when she first transfigured into a cat in our class, I was so awed by it that, that was all I could think about for days. I even begged for lessons but she said at thirteen I was too young, but if I continued my standard in Transfiguration then in my NEWTs she could teach me. But of course I followed the Marauders silently into their unauthorised lessons with Lupin, of which I turned out the better pupil! "I had a crush on her when I was at school."



"As colleague or pupil?" he asked slyly.



"As a pupil!" I answered defensively. I decided to change the subject. "I am not comfortable with Hermione doing what she agreed to do."



"Huh! Try talking her out of it, Severus," he said. "We have and she keeps saying that you've done this for me, and that for her, and this for Ron, that you - anyway she wants to do something in return. She say's that we need a spy and she's the only one to do it. Besides she has signed the document."



I had finished the meal and the coffee and set the tray down on the floor.



"What exactly will Hermione being a spy achieve?" I asked.



"Hopefully, what you did for Dumbledore," Harry said. He got up and went back to the table. "Anyway I think I have had a breakthrough, I've been calculating the chances, how long it would take us to get there Muggle way. That sort of thing."



"Why not apparate?" I asked.



"I'm going with Luna and Neville, and they can't do it!"



"Why those two?" I asked.



"Neville has astounding knowledge in plants and herbs something which might help decipher whether I am right about this particular location, and Luna is very good at spotting the unobvious, the things that I wouldn't see. Ron and Ginny are brilliant, but Ron tends to rush in a bit and lose his head, and Ginny is excellent as backup in case someone is cursing my behind but what I need for this is brains, not brawn, and I am not looking for a fight, yet!"



"If you meet a bunch of Death Eaters though?"



"It was Neville and Luna who kept their heads about them before in the ministry. They are the best two for this."



I leaned back in my chair and steepled my fingers looking at Harry sceptically, I doubted his choice but it was his to make.



"I better take the tray out to the kitchen," I said. I picked the tray up and walked out of the study and took one last look at the studious boy that was beginning to become like a very young Dumbledore.



I entered the kitchen and saw Hermione and Ginny in there, their heads were bowed next to each other and they were giggling about something, I thought I could slip in unnoticed.



"Hello sir," Ginny said.



"Hello," I replied. "Give my compliments to your mother for that most welcome meal."



"I will."



Hermione had looked up and I walked up to her, she smiled.



"Hello Severus," she said warmly, I sighed. I thought she might not like me or like me less. I smiled back, but as I was about to walk out the door she leapt up and flung her arms about me and wept.



"Hey," I said patting her back awkwardly. "Hey. Sh! It's all right, Hermione."



"I'm scared, Severus," she admitted. "I don't know the first thing about spying."



"I'll help you, dearest heart," I said. She looked up at me.



"Dearest heart?" she asked through her tears.



I considered my next move I picked her chin up and looked in her tear filled eyes.



"Does this finally prove how I feel about you Hermione?" I asked as I bought her lips closer to mine and kissed her properly. “As for your offer earlier on… why not eh?”



I was about to move in for another when I heard a snigger and the snigger turn into a puff of wind as someone had elbowed the sniggerer roughly. Mad Eye and Tonks had stepped out of the corner, where strangely, I stayed hidden when I first came here.



"All right lover boy come with us!" Mad Eye growled.



Hermione looked at me with a dazed but happy look on her face. Tonks took my hand and led me out of the kitchen.



"I am glad you finally did that!" Tonks exclaimed. "The tension was beginning to get tight!"



"I doubt she enjoyed it though," I said. I didn’t say that we had already kissed, several times.



Tonks just squeezed my hand. We went to the big dining hall. Mad Eye had moved the tables to the edge, and piled up the chairs.



"Are we training now?" I asked.



"Better start now before you get too relaxed."



Tonks sighed and rolled her eyes.



"He's just been to Azkaban, Mad Eye, let him relax for a day or two," she said. "Or at least lets just talk to him first."



"What is there to say?" growled Mad Eye.



"Come on, Mad Eye, let him rest up a bit," she said.



He looked at her trying to stare her down but she was just as adamant. I looked down whilst this was going on, and noticed above her engagement ring was another ring, plain gold with the words I love you in red. She was no longer Tonks; I'll let them tell me in their own time.



"Look, Tonks, we haven't got time to mess around!"



"We have more time than you think, Mad Eye!"



"Don't I have a say in this?" I asked.



"Shut up," they both said at the same time.



I shrugged my shoulders. They entered another staring contest. Eventually Mad Eye sighed and turned towards me.



"I suppose he does look a little tired," he said. "All right let's just talk over the basics of being a top class Auror."



He whipped his wand out and levitated three chairs for us to sit on.



"Firstly and most importantly, you need excellent potion skills."



"I was Potions Master at Hogwarts for sixteen years, I taught Miss Tonks here."



I emphasized the Miss. She said nothing.



"Well, all right, you also have to have the ability to be not heard and not seen and pop out when you're least expected too."



"Ask Harry, Ronald, and Hermione the amount of times I caught them up to their armpits in trouble when they least expected."



"Secondly your knowledge of Charms and Transfiguration needs to be exemplary."



"My best subjects at school," I replied airily. "As for the rest well…"



"And your Dark Arts at least your Defence of them must be tip top!"



"I think I am qualified in that arena too, Mad Eye."



"Do you have what it takes to be a Ministry Auror, and an Order member?"



The recruitment ceremony was beginning to become wearisome.



"I think I have what it takes, Mad Eye. Do you think I have what it takes Miss Tonks?" I asked again putting extra emphasis on the Miss. Not so much as a blush. Either I was losing my touch or she had become better at hiding her emotions.



Mad Eye sighed, he stood up, Tonks and I did to.



"See you in a couple of days, Severus."



"No doubt," I said.



I left the dining room and saw the stairs and thought I could sit there for a while, just me, on my own. I was wrong.



"Hey," Ginny said as she sat next to me. I turned around.



"Hello," I said again. "What do you want now?"



"That kiss looked real nice, sir," she giggled.



"Your boyfriend is in that room over there!"



She looked at the door, she was unhappy, and she chewed her lip. Her brown eyes sparkled frostily.



"Try telling him that he's supposed to have a girlfriend," she said moodily. "I bet James never treated Lily like this!"



"James Potter wasn't the Chosen One, Ginny," I said. "Although, that didn’t stop him from actinglike it.” I added. “He has a lot of responsibilities. Why don't you go in there and offer to help any way you can, even make him his favourite sandwich or something, he'll appreciate it."



She looked at me.



"How come you know so much about this sort of thing?"



"Don't go making the mistake that I have never loved Ginny, and don't think I don't know what women want, I can see the layers of the woman's mind, I understand it's complexity far more than most. You have to go in there and remind him everyday and in every way possible to you that he has a girlfriend."



Ginny smiled at me.



"Are you sure you don't want to kiss me?"



"I am also fiercely monogamous, Ginny. I love Hermione, I only want to kiss her."



Ginny wrapped her arms around my neck.



"She wants to talk to you, sir," she informed me.



I got up and dusted myself down, I helped her up the way a true gentleman should.



"Now go in there, Ginny, and do whatever it takes to make him forget whatever it is that is on his mind, he doesn't have to grow up alone, not with you around."



She went to Harry and I went to Hermione. I knew she would still be in the kitchen. She was sitting at the table with a pack of cards; she had all four aces at the top. She was playing patience. She had thumped the card down.



"Fifth game," she exclaimed. "And getting harder and harder with every game."



I smiled and slipped into a chair next to her.



"What do you want to talk to me about?" I asked, again that sinking feeling that I had done something wrong.



"You look a little scared," Hermione said.



"I am scared Hermione," I said. "I'm scared I am going to lose you!"



She laughed a bright silvery laugh.



"Lose me after that kiss? Don't be ridiculous. I love you Severus! Nothing but death can separate that! Now relax!"



"So you do - I mean - I thought -!" I stammered. I couldn't finish either of those sentences.



"So, I do love you. You mean you thought that I wouldn't after being separated from you and stayed with my nice uncomplicated friends. You thought I was with someone else now? Is that what you were trying to say?"



"Well, why would you stay with me?"



"Lots of reasons," she answered vaguely as she picked up all the cards and began shuffling them. "Anyway I wanted to talk to you about spying on Voldemort."



"What of it?" I asked.



"Well," she replied setting the cards out again. "How do I go about doing it without getting Crucio'd?"



"You can't be under his service without being Crucio'd," I replied. "Sorry, dear, it's the way he is. He has no empathy, no compassion, none of those feelings as they are all connected to love."



Her expression fell, I wasn't sure if that was what I had just said or the turning over a red queen when she need a black one.



"Dumb game anyway!" She exclaimed with frustration. She got up and walked out of the kitchen and I followed her. She stood in the living room with her hand on her head. I walked up to her and rubbed her shoulders.



"You'll be perfectly fine, Mia," I assured her. "You follow orders and you show respect to your elders and betters that will be two things in your favour, but you do break rules when the occasion demands it!" I kissed a spot just below her ear lobe, she moaned.



She turned around and I hugged her. I stroked her strands of gold and held her tightly to me hoping that some of my strength would help her recover. She then took my hands and started kissing the fingers, and she started sucking them. I groaned. She led me to the sofa and she sat down. I sat down next to her and ran my hand up and down her thigh. She lifted it up and placed it on my lap. She lay flat on her back and I kissed the base of her throat. She grabbed my hair and I growled. I felt my penis twitch. I grabbed her other leg and wrapped it around my waist. We were about to begin unbuttoning our clothes when the door handle was being pressed from the other side. We scrambled off each other and I sat down on another chair.



"Kill Greyback for me won't you?" she asked.



"Of course I will," I said.



"Then marry me?"



"We'll think about that, Hermione," I said. "We'll discuss that another time all right? Just you concentrate on what you'll say to Voldemort when you meet him. And don't forget all that Occlumency, okay?"



We made an effort to make our voices appear normal.



"Hermione dear," Molly had come in.



"Yes Mrs Weasley," she said.



"How many times, call me Molly, help me cook dinner dear, I can't seem to find Ginny anywhere, it is beginning to worry me."



"Last time I knew she was helping Harry with certain things," I said.



"What things?" she asked her voice going hard.



"Nothing to worry about, he just needs help and she's helping him."



She gazed at me. I decided I better just shut up. I crossed my legs and a giant ginger cat leapt up suddenly out of nowhere. It glared at me with its piggy eyes, a scowl on its face. I decided to start stroking it. The cat then looked at Hermione. Hermione nodded. The cat then turned to me, studied me again sniffing my fingers and then butted its head against my hand. It moved its body under my hand forcing me to stroke it. Hermione giggled.



"You're Crookshanks best friend now," she said. "It was Sirius!"



"You're cat has then developed better taste," I said. Mia threw me a look.



"I thought you gotten over that," she said with a hint of mild disappointment in her voice.



"I have forgiven James but Black did want me dead Hermione, do you think I could ever forgive that?"



"Harry's forgiven you for murdering Dumbledore," she said edgily. "And that has surprised us all!"



"Mia, I probably would have forgiven Black if he felt guilty over what he did to me but he didn't. I at least feel guilty for what I did to James and Lily and Dumbledore. You'll just have to accept the fact that I will never like Black."



"He would probably have said the same thing," she consented.



"Thank you!" I looked at her. "You do still love me don't you?"



"Of course I do," she said. "True love is when you're prepared to accept the whole of the person and not just some of him!"



I smiled as I was fussing Crookshanks. Mia went into the kitchen to help Molly with dinner.



************************************************** ***************



Dinner was fabulous, Hermione did a wonderful Lasagne, and the broccoli was fabulous to cooked just right. I found out that it was Mia doing most of the cooking when I went in the kitchen, Molly was supervising. This time I did manage to slip in unnoticed. And out again.



After dinner I decided to check up on the wolfsbane. The stocks were getting low so I'd have to make more of that stuff again soon. My body was aching and I decided I'd have another bath to relax the muscles. I walked in my room with the delicately placed towel and Hermione was standing in there.



"I know we're in love and everything," I said. "But do you mind leaving the room whilst I change."



"Of course not," she smiled impishly. And to my surprise she took her robe off to reveal her naked body. She was more beautiful than I dreamed. She had an olive complexion, her breasts were well developed, her nipples were a lovely pale rosy colour, and they were standing erect. She stalked around me.



I pulled her in to my embrace letting the towel fall off and kissed her properly again, and she returned the kiss just as passionately. Our hands in each other’s hair messing it up big time. I felt her moan as I moved closer to her. I picked her up whilst still kissing her and placed her gently on the bed. I got up to observe the woman beneath me. I took her left nipple in between my teeth, which made her sigh. She then pulled my head up. She wrapped her legs around my waist and kissed my throat. She kissed further down and wrapped her tongue around my nipples, now as hard as anything. Oh Merlin how I’ve longed for this. She opened her entrance further and then I took the hint. Her body felt hot in my hands, and she was willing. She shifted underneath me.



“Severus, do I have to do everything?” She asked.



That was invitation enough. I slowly slid my erect member inside her body, she gasped as she felt the beginnings of our coupling. I stroked her walls with my member a few times gently to let her get used to me inside her and as I was about to thrust into her when the door had a guest.



"Who is it?"



"It's Harry and Remus," Remus said.



"Damnation!" I exclaimed looking at Hermione. She shrugged her shoulders. I kept my arms around her shoulders. We frantically made a scrabble, like before and I put on my night robes, and Hermione put her gown back on.



“Are you all right?” Remus asked. He knew, somehow he knew.



“Yes,” I said. “Fine. Come in!” I exclaimed as Hermione had just straightened herself enough.



Remus and Harry came in. They glanced at Hermione.



"We weren't interrupting anything were we?" Remus asked playfully.



"Yes you were in point of fact," Hermione snapped. "So be quick and be gone!"



"Charming!" Harry exclaimed sardonically. "Well, I am sorry to break up nice companionships but it's all hands on deck, it's cleaning time."



"Oh just scourgify what won't come off!" I exclaimed angrily. I can't believe we were interrupted for cleaning! "I've just had a bath I'm not going on my hands and knees scrubbing. Sorry! And Hermione might get a call from Greyback any minute."



"Are you sure that is your only objection?" Harry asked.



"Harry, I cooked dinner, and Severus has not had a moment’s peace today. Let him rest!"



"Sorry, no rest for the wicked!" Harry exclaimed.



"But I'm one of the good guys now!" I said jokingly. Remus laughed.



"Oh come on, Harry, leave them alone, they do have a point."



"But -!"



"Leave them!" Remus said firmly steering Harry away from the room. "They have a lot to sort out."



"Now where were we?" Hermione asked slipping her arms around my neck and tiptoeing up to kiss me again.



"Right about here I think," I said smiling. I picked her up and placed her back on the bed and was just about to begin a slow, wonderful, love session with her when she grabbed her head. "Are you all right?"



"It's fine," she said faintly. She tried to kiss me but she drew back as if some invisible force was tearing her away from me.



"Mia!" I exclaimed with a worried tone. "Mia, what's the matter?"



I bought her harshly towards me and was about to kiss her but she wrenched herself out of my grip!



She stood at the door.



"All right!" she shouted. "All right! I'm coming! I'm coming!"



"Mia, where are you going?"



She turned to look at me, her eyes were vacant.



"I must go to Fenrir. I must answer the call of my Lord and King!"



I ran to her and strongly held her tight in my arms.



"I'm your Lord and King!"



"Deceiver!" she yelled pushing me on the floor. I landed with a sound thump on my bum, she whipped her wand out. "Pretender to the throne!"



It wasn't her voice! It was harsher and more fiercer. She would never say that. She was under Fenrirs control. She had to go! With my heart torn in two I let her go. She spun on her heel and walked out of the door and then she opened the door and back to Greyback.



I got myself up and decided to try to enlist the help of Remus, I wanted Hermione with me! Not with him!



I got up with my hand on the banister and felt a little puffed. I went downstairs in the dining room.



Remus and Arthur were muggle cleaning in there.



"So, you've decided to join us then have you?" Remus asked. The grin on his face was unbearable.



"No, Hermione has had Fenrir's call," I said. "Listen when I'm dressed you and I will go over there and snap her out of it!"



"I'm afraid we can't do that, Severus," Remus said blankly.



"Don't you care about what happens to her?" I asked fiercely.



"Yes, I do, but we signed that document remember we can't just butt in on it and ruin it and break our promises. Hermione knew what she was doing when she signed that document, as did you."



"I am going there to get her back, she's my - well - kind of, look I just want her here where she's safe."



"This is a war, Severus, none of us are safe," Arthur said pragmatically. "Least of all Hermione."



"I'm surprised at you, Arthur; you wouldn't want Ginny to do this would you? Or Harry or Neville Long bottom, or Luna Lovegood, why should it be Hermione?"



"Because Hermione was the one that signed the document, and Ginny has already had some horrible stuff happen to her."



"Well, I'm going!" I turned and was about to walk through the door but it was locked. My wand was in my room. "Okay, which one of you did it?"



"I did!" Remus exclaimed. "When are you going to realise that this isn't about you Severus, there are other reasons why she's doing what she has to do!"



"Stop interfering, Lupin, and get this door open now!"



"No!"



Arthur sighed, he stopped cleaning and sat down on the chair.



"Enjoying this are you?" I asked savagely.



"Immensely," he said with no hint of laughter in his voice.



"Hermione is -"



"Only doing what she promised to do, Severus, she deliberately knocked down the walls, to let Fenrir in her head so that she could go to him and take the Mark!"



"How can you stand there so calmly allowing this outrage to happen?"



"Who say's I'm calm?" Remus said. "I'm just as worried for Hermione and yes I do have that fear that she might never come back but I made the same promise and I am not going to back down on it!"



"Oh you're worried are you?" I asked sarcastically. "You're worried?" I screamed.



I flew at Remus and punched him in the eye, he tried to get me off but I had started it now, and after that swing adrenaline washed over me and I began to pummel him. I vaguely felt someone prising me off the other man, I turned around and tried to swing at the intruder.



"What is going on here?" a voice said from somewhere. It was one I vaguely recognised. Surely not? "Up here Severus!"



I looked up and there was Dumbledore in a painting above the fireplace. It was meant to be Phineus's.



"It's not possible!" I gasped.



"Oh isn't it?" he asked with a smile on his face.



"But I killed you! Which by the way is something I didn't like doing and I am sorry, and I have tried to -"



He put his hand up to silence me.



"That will do, Severus," he replied calmly. "I know you didn't enjoy it. And I know exactly what you have been up to. Phineus Nigellus told me all about it."



"But -"



I was silenced again, this time by the glare in his periwinkle blue eyes that dazzled even in a portrait!



"What is happening now, though?"



"Hermione has been bitten by Fenrir Greyback and she had promised to answer his call to get me out of Azkaban, but I can't just stand by to let it happen, Lupin can however!"



"No Lupin can't!" Remus growled. "Lupin feels he has to honour his promises though no matter how uncomfortable they make Lupin feel!"



"You feel something for Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked. Even his portrait version was perceptive. It was part of his make up though. The portraits do have faint traces of the person's personality. I suppose Dumbledore’s was still quite fresh that's why he knew who we were still. Given time he won't know who anybody is.



"I love her and she - she -" I burst into tears. "She loves me as well!"



I started to cry. Arthur came and wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders.



"Don't worry about Miss Grangers well being Severus," Dumbledore said nicely. "I'm sure we can restore that bounce in your bungee somehow!"



"How can you even be nice to me after what I did to you?" I asked through my tears. I was truly living up to my nickname.



"I am only truly gone when there are NONE who remain loyal to me Severus, and as you are well aware there are several who are still remaining loyal to me so there! I won't be gone for quite a while yet! Now if you'll excuse me I have to have a snooze back at the office."



"Sir!" I began but he had gone. I was about to tell him that I had forgiven James, I thought he might've liked to have heard that.



"See, Severus, even Dumbledore has said not to worry!" Arthur exclaimed.



"Dumbledore doesn't love her as much as I do!" I answered wearily. "I think I will clean after all, Cleopatra had four or five baths a day. I can have another one. It'll help get my mind of things, although I doubt that, I do seem to have an exceptionally large mind!"



Remus threw me a duster.



"Good," he said. "You can start over there."



"Er," I said sheepishly. "I'm sorry for that!"



"Already forgotten mate," he replied smiling. He unlocked the door and opened it with his wand.



The visit from Dumbledore left me feeling shaken and I was as ever awed by his magnificent presence. As a human he was inspiring, and you couldn't ignore him. As a painting he put the best works in the shade. There was still wisdom there that sense that he could see right through you. He was the male Mona Lisa.



I began dusting half-heartedly. Thinking of all the dreadful dangers that my darling Mia would now be facing, all because of that time when I asked her to look after that stupid, arrogant Blonde Pratt! I dusted furiously imagining I was wiping the Malfoy sneer clear out of existence.



Something, which I know, I can't do as I made that stupid Unbreakable Vow with that silly cow! But imagining it was just as good.



And he must still be alive because I am not dead.



I wonder what had happened with him?



Oh stop it. He wouldn't be wondering about you at this moment in time. He was with dear old Aunty, ah! At last some time to finalise my plans for killing her! I can do that and keep my skin at any rate.



I'm tired now Lily and must get some sleep, if I can!



I hope you are not too disgusted with my feelings for Mia, Lily, but I can’t help them. If they weren’t reciprocated, you know I would not go near the woman.



Severus



A/N - I hope you liked the reappearance of Dumbledore.... he needed to turn up somehow. I love DD!