an awfully big adventure...

If there were one word to describe Hene Gne Granger at this very moment it would be; heartbroken.

How can one even describe the feeling of losing one’s seeming true love? Yes, now she freely admitted it;

She loved Severus Snape.

This was not helping her current predicament, as she paced in her HeadGirl’s quarters, her eyes puffy from crying. Why did she have to go and fall in love with a vicious and vindictive man like Severus?

*It was you who lied* said that bastardly voice from months prior, *If you hadn’t lied, and hadn’t been so desperate for male attention none of this would have happened*

“I know…” Hermione wailed to herself, “I never should have done something so selfish and so very…stupid.” The last word came out in a choked sob as she fell to her bed, her body racking with sobs.

The rain fell outside in torrents, the grounds of Hogwarts were bleak and gray looking, and she hated it. But found the mere sound of it all, quite relaxing. Perhaps Snape was looking out his window at this moment as well.

Why did she have to love him so much? Why did it hurt so badly? Had she loved him all along? Had he really made his way into her heart so deeply that it pained her to think of anyone else?

Yes.

She flopped over and started a fire to warm her shaking and shivering body, but the warmth held nothing. She couldn’t feel anything, she was numb.

She now comprehended the writings of love lost, and was angered that after everything she still cared for him.

She wondered if he even cared.
_____________________________________________

He did.

At the very moment he was in his classroom, hurriedly writing on some parchment and ignoring the tittering of the class around him.

Suddenly a small ball of paper bounced onto his head to the floor and he roared, standing and glaring at the group of first years who should have known better.

“Detention for whoever threw this.” He said producing the small crumpled parchment, his eyes darkening as he opened it.

Inside in messy printing were tons of heart shapes, inside which four initials resided,

J.K + R.L.

Stupid initials that had nothing to do with him, but he felt a pang go through him as he recalled the day he had almost show Black that incessant love declaration Hermione had written in secret about him. How even then he was jealous beyond all natural reason.

“Get out.” He muttered to the class, who scurried from his classroom without a moment’s hesitation. Snape threw the parchment into the trash bin, and flopped crestfallen into his chair.

He had tried not thinking about her, but that was all too stupid…the more one tries not to think of someone, all the more the person will.

He set to work marking parchment, determined to keep his mind off of Hermione. Which was all going as relatively well until…he reached her essay. He frowned as he saw her name and disgustedly pushed himself away from the desk and to the window where he saw the bleak landscape. How homey.

Hours later there was a short rap at his door, as Sirius entered, looking peaked. He came in with short, halted steps and faltering smile with every step he took reluctantly forward.

“Hello Severus.” He said nervously, “Did all go well, last night?”

Snape raised an eyebrow and offered him a seat, which Black took obligingly, smiling nervously as he awaited his news. Somewhere faintly in his heart he hoped Snape would tell him it was all a rouse, and that he loved Black all along.

No. Not quite.

Snape looked almost bashfully to Black, his dark eyes solemner than usual. “Black, I’m about to tell you something you might not want to hear.”

Black looked to him quizzically, as Snape told the tale of Hermione’s misfiring potion, as Black listened in quite intensity. When Snape finally finished, Black leaned back, eyes wide and in complshocshock.

“I don’t believe it.” He said holding a shaking hand to his mouth, “I just don’t believe it.”

“Well, believe it or not, Black.” Severus said standing and holding out a small vial to him. “Here’s the antidote. And don’t blame Miss Granger, she’s young.”

Black nodded, his eyes on the vial as something came to him, “You know Severus…” he said quietly, “Things can never be the same…this…” he said motioning around the room and recalling their past time spent together, “Can never happen again.”

Snape gave Black a calculating look followed with a vicious sneer.

“I’m counting on it.”
__________________________________________

To say things went back to normal would be a lie. Too many bridges were crossed, too many loves declared, too much information all around.

The weeks passed with tension all around, graduation was growing closer and closer along with NEWTS, and applications to Universities and so on…life was very busy.

The weather of Hogwarts seemed to match the mood of many at Hogwarts. Hermione and Ron were barely speaking, Harry and Hermione were getting on better. Hermione refused to go near Snape save for class.

And she hadn’t seen Black until this very moment in the Library. He had taken a few weeks off of teaching and few knew why. Now he sauntered down the aisles, looking at the various titles and chuckling to himself on occasion.

She heard him chuckling and glanced up, seeing his image through the open gaps between the dusty volumes, and felt her heart give a patter.

He gave her a heartfelt smile,
“Hello Hermione. I’ve not seen you for a while.”

To any outsider it would sound like boring everyday speech, but it touched Hermione as she beamed and grasped him into a welcoming hug. There had been nothing vindictive about his words. The potion had been administered and she had her friend back.

“I’m so sorry.” She said passionately, her heartfelt sentiment bringing a tear to his eye. She wasn’t the young little girl he knew. But he didn’t see her in that certain way Severus did. He nodded, accepting her apology instantly.

Perhaps he couldn’t because of Severus. But she didn’t seem to harbor any romantic feelings for him either, and so they fell into a comfortable rhythm.

They exited the Library moments later talking solemnly amongst themselves not paying heed to the figure in the shadows that saw them.
_______________________________________________

Days later the rain still continued pouring down. It barely stopped and Quidditch was postponed regularly. It was stupid really, almost April and still raining like there was no tomorrow.

A small figure sat near the lake this one gray day though; Her dark hair, norm cur curly was down her back and sopping wet. As was her robe, and socks and shoes.

She didn’t seem to care though, if you saw her you’d think she were insane. A lost look in her eyes as she mumbled to herself, words you wouldn’t catch.

She had been humiliated again by the man she loved.

“Today we are working on a paralyzing potion.” Snape had been saying to his Slytherin/Gryffindor 7th years, Hermione Granger included.

She sat at her desk nonchalantly, writing notes and obeying what he said. It would have been interesting to see how that would have played out in the bedroom.

“Now, I know few of you will even manage to accomplish this simple task.” Snape said with a direct glance at a shaking Neville, “But I expect nothing but the best.”

Hermione snorted lightly a moment, a small one to herself at his supreme pompous attitude. He truly bugged her when he acted like this.

Too loud. For now he swooped down the aisles and came to her seat. She no longer sat at the front of the class anymore, too risky.

“May I ask what is so amusing Miss Granger?” he had asked venomously, sneering at her and making her flinch a bit.

“Nothing sir.” She said placidly looking at him hollowly, “Nothing at all.”

“Hmmmm, nothing at all. Sounds like what’s up there in your head Granger. Nothing.” He says her choke back tears and drew back, his hear beating abnormally quickly “Stop doodling and pay attention.”


Now beside the lake she heard the faint buzzing, like the sound of a bee in a glass jar. She shook her groggy head and looked to her side.

“Hermione,” Ron said looking at her queerly, “What are you doing out here? In the rain?”

Hermione looked blankly up to Ron, who looked to her pensively, “I like the rain.”

Ron sighed, sitting beside her on the mushy earth and not caring. “Hermione, it can’t be about Black, can it? Everything’s fixed.”

“Not everything Ron.” She said melancholy, forcing a smile onto her lips. “Not my...”

*heart* her mind screamed, and she winced at this last internal comment, how melodramatic. Ron frowned at this, holding her hand in his suddenly, warming it.

“What’s the problem? In love with Snape now?” he asked and was surprised as Hermione drew her hand away quickly. She had never really told Ron and Harry what had happened that night, and they had known better than to ask.

“Actually Ron,” She said detache “I “I am.”

“Excuse me?”

She looked to Ron’s confused face and with a deep and ragged breath went into her long winded story of lust, love, lost love and so forth until she was blubbering and allowing Ron to hold her to him and stroke her hair soothingly.

“Oh Hermione.” He said passionately, “I am so truly sorry.”

“How could you know, Ron?” Hermione said crying slightly less now, “I gave you and Black the potion, I asked for it.”

Ron shook his head, “You didn’t ask to fall in love.”

Hermione shrugged, “No one really does Ron, it just happens.”

Ron nodded as if he knew what she meant, and held her with a brotherly comfort, looking out at the lake covered in mist. But he was angry. Angry with Snape for being that conniving, rat bastard, immature prick that he was so often, and for breaking poor and defenseless Hermione Granger’s heart.

Ron sighed deeply now, “Hermione, I’m going to tell you something. I’m telling you this because I think you need to know. It’s about Snape.”

Hermione looked to Ron apprehensively, her dark eyes watering from the rain…or was it tears?

“What is it?”