What Hermione Wants

Not a Chapter-- Reviews Only



Hello! I’m so thrilled that people are enjoying my little twisted view of the HP universe. This is my first fan fiction and I thank you all so much for putting up with the errors here and there. Since things really get ‘interesting’ in the next chapter, it will be betaed first, even though I’d love to post it ASAP! I have a second on Portkey.org under the same penname called “But I thought YOU loved her” (PG-13), but I felt like coming back to this one for a while. I wasn’t sure an ‘adult’ fanfic with almost no sex for so long would get read! ;-)


The idea was from a huge list of challenges last summer on a the ‘roughside’ mailing list, but the challenge only said, “What if the Head Boy and Head Girl each get to have their choice of a slave for the year?” As you can see, I really fleshed it out much more than that. There was nothing about why or anything, just that vague idea.

traydr vic

I love your story, but I think you are definitely going for Draco in this story - I feel you are making him much more appealing than Harry. Suave, sexual, physically adonis-like, rich, intellectual, caring, powerful (never used his powers because they were too destructive and he was capable of such self restraint? Even when he was turned into ferret/slug/etc.?).



I picture the power thatis dis describing having some sort of huge backfire effect (destructive and self destructive) that is far too strong for most to handle. I don’t think he would have had them somewhat controlled until 15/16 or so and I think in the limited practice he’d have in them, he’d know what a dangerous position using them would place him in.



He seems a lot more flushed out than Harry, who comes across a little wishy washy (except for the unfortunate physical abuse incident) and one-dimensional.



I’ll try to work on that and agree to a point, but I think part of the problem is that a lot of the time we are seeing Harry through the eyes of people that are thinking of him as whishy-washy. Hermione especially thinks that about his taste in g and and he is being wishy- washy about Ginny. And then Draco is Draco. I think Draco is just ‘older’ than the rest of them in so many ways. He’s seen too much and it’s aged him.

harpling

ovedoved harry\'s reaction at the end of the 17th chapter: what a cool cliffhanger!



I’m glad you liked it. It seemed like a good place to stop and it was a good tension breaker since Harry is really walking into what could be an uncomfortable situation. Also, I’m planning on the next chapter finishing the ceremony and going through Friday night, so it breaks it up in the right place.



personally, i\'ve always thought ron might turn out to be something of a ninny, so i\'m glad somebody agrees with me.



I’m a Harry/Hermione Shipper at heart and I absolutely can’t see how people can justify Ron and Hermione even in Cannon, he’s just not smart enough for her. But, I can very easily see Hermione with the Draco from this story... I can also see her with the Harry from this story. The plot is solidly in my head, but the relationship triangle could still go either way (except Harry/Draco. It’s not that kind of a story).



Elenmellon

Every so often, I stumble upon a story whose author knows how to write in English, keep everyone (fairly) in character and everything within the realm of possibility, and create actual PLOT! So, I thank you. :)



I am smart enough to realize that this is the highest praise I am most likely ever to get in a review. I humbly thank you, though I think you might not be looking close enough at my grammar skills.

Atelos

The Slytherin gift has not been chosen since the single gift policy was initiated, so Hermione is the only one walking around with the charisma enhancement other than Voldemort...it seems to me that to win this war someone will have to be persuasive enough to convince Voldemort not to give his all.



Hmmm... Hermione’s gift playing a part in the war? I was wondering when that kind of speculation would begin.



jeannette

what is draco really up to?



He’s not telling yet.



How could harry and hermione do this to ron and ginny?



Well, Ron and Ginny did conspire to keep Harry and Hermione apart during the summer between 5th and 6th year so Ginny could corner Harry and Ron could work on Hermione after the Pumpkin slush incident, so they aren’t exactly innocent either. Ron saw how Hermione and Harry were acting and brought in reinforcements (There wasn’t much detail about that, but it was implied).



I think the real question is how could Hermione do this to Ginny since she thought she was setting her up on two levels and Hermione really had still felt friendship for her? I feel Draco really manipulated her on Thursday night to feel like this was her “last ce
e” to ever be able to be with Harry. Without that, it never would have crossed her mind to take the Slytherin gift. Harry still would have been comforting her over her breakup and teenage hormones and a long time of denial changed platonic hugs into kisses that afternoon. Harry had been reluctant to have a more physical relationship with Ginny earlier in the fic. Perhaps he really didn’t understand why he didn’t want to?



raven

Was that a bit of foreshadowing in the founders speech?



You could call it that. Slytherin was also pretty much telling her something that I was afraid would come out sounding like Spock. “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few...or the one.” Just a little hint his gift could help her long term goals even though someone might be hurt in the short run.



Nice touch bringing in the Russian and Chinese influences.



Thanks. I just thought a dress like that would be pretty.



Kiristeen

OMG! Harry is *so* sweet in this one! : )~ That was great what he said to McGonagall.



That was funny how that came about. I wrote Harry coming into the room and trying to piece things together. He noticed that Hermione looked like a princess. Then I decided that I wanted to really dese hoe how full the skirt was so I added the line about the hoop skirt, which made me think of my wedding dress... and than BANG. There was the bride and the forced marriage idea. It seemed like a good place to end the chapter.



I must admit, I\'m *dying* to know why Draco chose as he did.



So is everyone else. I think Dumbledore might have an idea, but that’s about it. Oh, I do as well, but I’m not telling.

And the shock of McG. and Snape at Hermione\'s choice was absolutely priceless. ::smirk::



And to think, they actually called her by her first name!



Kiristeen



Ooooh! So Malfoy found something in her background? : )~



His source seems to think so.



Kiristeen

Oh, this was absolutely YUM! I love the setup, Draco\'s character, and Hermione\'s. I also really like the way you differentiated between inexperience and \'innocence\'. There is such a huge difference between the two, and I love how you played it out with Hermione.



I’m glad that came through. That’s exactly what I was trying to do.



MadAboutHarry

Well, that was a surprising ceremony! Love Harry\'s comments at the end to McGonagall. They certainly showed an interesting predisposition toward Hermione, but I wonder what he is going to think when he finds out what is really going on



Introspect

And I LOVE the whole thing with Harry thinking Hermione\'s marrying Draco, it\'s so classic! His comment does show a lot about his feelings though...incredible writing...can\'t wait to read more.



elementaldeity

Holy Crap! I cant believe she picked Slytherin! That was so unexpected. And poor Harry, so noble, not even realizing what he is walking in on. I hope Hermione can get Harry out of her system and be with Draco, they belong together more than Harry and Hermione.



deblovesdragon

Wow, that was a BIG assumption on Harry\'s part. Is he actually going to be relieved to find why he has been summoned? Thanks for the chuckle at the end of your chapter.



I’m glad you all liked the chapter ending. I read tons of fanfic, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen positive reviews about a ‘cliffie’ before. Now that I think about it, that’s really cool! It did seem to be a logical assumption on his part. Ceremony, matching outfits, big white dress, away all summer... <giggle>



As I’ve mentioned, I do sail the ship Harry/Hermione but this Draco has a lot to offer, and this Harry and Hermione relationship has a lot of baggage now. I’ve got the school year and the whole ‘big bad’ (yes, I like Buffy too) fight planned, but the romance/relationship parts are spontaneous.



Bambu

I like your starting points for Hermione and Draco... interesting parallel characterizations, and, if you plan on bridging the gulf that separates them, you have a lovely long way to go.



I’m working on that bridge. ;-)



Bambu

Quite a nice normalish ending to the \'explosive\' beginnings.



“Hermione and the First Years” was a lot of fun to write. I wrote them much ‘younger’ than she sounded at 11, but then Kendra is there to show what a gifted child at that age sounds like. (Oh, and I do know that Hermione really would have been 16 over the summer and not 17 until September of the school year (and would have started Hogwarts and would have been age 10 for a few weeks), but I aged her to make buying her book in chapter 2 not an issue.



Bambu

I\'ve just read all the recent postings. This is a fascinating and revealing story you\'re writing. I particularly like the sexual politics you\'re playing with the group. In my long and varied career, I\'ve seen some of the \'big boys\' play, Draco\'s tactics are not so far from the big league. He\'s almost disarming in his intelligence, and in his respect for her. He\'s playing to win, and it\'s a calculated risk. But, by playing to her intelligence, I think he actually has the upper hand.



I found this review to be fascinating as well. You really seem to really ‘get’ my Draco and how his mind works. Some of it is knowing when to use the truth. When he said he was planning on giving her a few drinks to help get her into bed, but changed his mind because he didn’t want her to think she just did it because she was totally smashed, that was absolutely true. But he does have a way of knowing when telling the truth is to his best advantage and when it isn’t, doesn’t he?



Rusty.X.

Oh What! Amazing story (esp keeping the Characters in Character!!!!!!)



I’m trying my best!



Kippen

I loved in the second chapter when Draco caught Hermione reading the “Wizard Relations” book, how embarrassing! When she said “I…ah…haven’t had it in me” I just burst out laughing it was hilarious!!!



I like to play with words and I’m glad you liked that one. :-)



Kippen

Some ts Its I enjoyed the most were the hidden meaning of Hermione’s words at the end of chapter 7 and your portrayal of Luna and how she was the only one aware of Hermione’s lack of response to Ron’s question in chapter 8. Keep up the great work!



This is more of the playing with words thing, I’ve had Hermione borthatthat trait quite a bit in the story by answering questions literally (Are you ready to move on? I think I might be).



grooveychick1820

I like how Hermione and Malfoy keep getting so close and then they don\'t.



Well, someone’s going to do something soon!



raven

I normally don\'t enjoy HP/HG at all, but I must admit you put forth a lovely argument. I absolutely adore your Draco-cold, calculating, but with hints of compassion that you can tell will spill intoratoration for the right woman. Nice to see him logically decide his stance on the coming war, so many mire him in pureblood superiority or a bid for power that they forget that his character hints more to survival and personal gain rather than glorified ideals.



I’m glad you liked what I did with him. That’s one thing nice about cannon only being to book 5, we are starting to see hints of the future, but we have a year of uncertainty where he might get a chance to mellow out a bit. Once book 6 is out, there won’t be as much flexibility.



I enjoy watching the two flirt back and forth as well as flit between what they want and what the gifts could give them-thank you for making it only one gift-all would be a bit much.



You’re welcome. It was the plan from the beginning. Hermione’s thinking was correct when she was wondering how that could have been going on without her knowing about it. Also when she thought, “Percy had a Slave?” Nope, he didn’t.



EmpressGoddess

I usually don\'t reveiw but I love this story so much.



I’m making more of an effort to review now that I’m writing as well. It really does mean a lot! Thank you for taking the time to say something!



Anna

OH MY GODDESS!!! Wow, I am SO addicted, but, because I am evil I feel I must somehow flame...I think maybe you have trouble when entering the story because the mistakes I find are more in the way of mistakes made when typing up a copy while distracted.



Hi Anna! Not distracted, just lazy. Thank you for the beta offer, but my husband is going to start doing it, and now that I know more than a few people are actually going to be interested in readingt I t I write, I’m taking more editing time.



ghypscee

great story, but i really don\'t want herm to take the slytherin gift



She was just too tempted by the dark side of the force.



MadAboutHarry

I\'d like to see her retain her friendships with Ron, Harry and Ginny at the end of this......



Tricky. She and Ron have a ways to go. The gifts are secret and since Draco didn’t select Ginny, she won’t know about them. She might wonder what that head girl thing was that she never got a message about. If, when and how she finds out more we’ll have to see.



The same goes for how it changes Hermione and Harry in the long run.



traydr vic

I found this little gem while reading your portkey story "but I thought YOU loved her" (which I like very much).



Thanks! I’m feeling NC-17 right now so I’m focusing on this story. When I get back to a PG-13 mood I’ll get back to the other one. I like that story as well because it’s so different. I seem to have this thing against letting Ginny keep Harry though. I actually kill her off in that story!



I love this story - it is very well written, great descriptions, and has me waiting for the next installment.



I am very nervous about all the Hermoine/Draco foreplay, as I am very much an H/Hr shipper (hence portkey).



We both very much sail the same ship!



Hermione promising sex to Draco if he delivers Harry - big mistake! Huge!



Well, when she was very, very drunk she promised him a “weekend.” But it wasn’t like Draco delivered Harry. He just talked her into doing it.



I realize this is your story and therefore my opinion has little sway, but I am praying you will have Hermoine end up with Harry. From your A/N in portkey it sounds like you still haven\'t made up your mind. D/Hr is just wrong!! Please update soon. I check twice a day. Thanks for a great story.



This Harry might not be right for this Hermione. We’ll just have to see. I can’t imagine updating that fast anymore! I’m not working ahead anymore at all!



slashgoddess

And Draco? It\'s funny watching him be flabergasted (which is one of the coolest words on the planet if you ask me... there\'s a few others but those are related to my work, like a dongle)!



Flabbergasted is cool. I don’t like dongle because the one on my old laptop used to always break. Here’s to built in nics on laptops!



slashgoddess

wow... i\'m anxiously awaiting the next chappy... keep checking back and wow... you\'ve updated! *dances and glomps* I love the way you\'re taking this... I\'ve a certain fondness for hg/dm and gw/dm



Surprise about the gw/dm!



spaz141

Ohhhh. what is that Draco up to? That was an unexpected move. Very interest and thanks.



Only Draco knows for sure.



spaz141

Hermione\'s reaction to kissing Ron ewww, she\'s realized that they are together out of circumstance than really wanting to be with him.



It didn’t surprme tme to see you say that. I recognize your name from Portkey!



I really don\'t like Hermione/Draco nor Harry/Ginny pairings, but this story is intriguing me enough to but my bias aside and enjoy a well written story. Thanks.



Thank you!



spaz141

I can\'t believe Harry hit Hermione, where is this going? I\'d like to read how he can be redeemed, if at all, after that. Yikes. Hermione with the 1st years enjoyable. Thanks.



I thought I might lose you here. I’m glad you stuck around.



spaz141

Great fun, great prank and then OMG was it Ron or Harry? Yikes. Thanks.



Well, by now you found out who it was. Harry made the most sense. He came in when lots of others were (it’s easier to go in the same direction in the cloak). I guess Ron could have come in as others were leaving, but it would have been hard not to bump into someone when traveling in opposite directions.



XxphoenixX

Interesting story; great concept, too. I can\'t wait to see what happens with the gifts Hermione receives, not to mention what\'s going on with her and Draco... and Harry... I really hope you update this again. Don\'t be discouraged by scarcity of reviews, just keep writing and people will notice. You\'ve already got me hooked ;).



And so they did. Thank you!



XxphoenixX

This just keeps getting better and better. The plot advancement is going wonderfully, especially amusing with the frustrated Draco and the unfazed, straightforward Hermione.



XxphoenixX

And the plot thickens... and thickens... and thickens some more. I can\'t believe she screamed Harry\'s name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is that enough exclamation points?

< I don’t think Draco would have put up with a screaming another name. She mouthed the name ‘Harry.’



XxphoenixX


I\'m pretty sure that Hufflepuff and Slytherin are out of the running, at least for Hermione. I really cannot wait anymore. What happens? ::rips hair out in frustration::




Do you still have hair?




XxphoenixX



WOW! I must say, my dear, I am surprised. I wouldn\'t have thought Hermione had the... I don\'t really know what it is but I didn\'t actually think she would. Not that it was OOC. It was fantastically written and all that jazz but WOW. I really didn\'t... WOW. I did think Draco was going to choose Gryffindor but hold on a second, I\'m still WOWing. WOW.


Thank you, thank you. You’ve been there from the beginning and you were right, more reviews did come. I hope the next chapter makes you Wow as well. After 17 chapters of foreplay, I hope it’s worth the wait.




rubberduck


dumbledore especially doesn\'t strike me as a guy who would allow that kind of degradation and humiliation be put on a student, if said student has no choice in the matter. i\'m willing to suspend my disbelief for the moment though and am eager to see who they choose.



Hi Ducky! That said from the guy that has the Dumbledore/Hermione sex scene! ;-) I hope you were able to buy in to the gifts.




rubberduck


i can understand why harry would not want to have sex with ginny on one level. he is afraid he might die and then leave her alone. but on the other level, if he was afraid he would die, wouldn\'t he want to have sex?



Harry’s point of view was exactly what he thought it was at the time. In retrospect, it turns out that he may have been less sure of his feelings for Ginny than he thought.




let me just say it was very cool how aware luna was about hermione\'s lack of response. i\'m not sure how in character that is though since she is portrayed in the ootp as a bit flighty.




That’s why I didn’t have her say anything about it. I get the feeling she sits back and sees and hears so much that when she talks it comes out almost like an Escher painting. I wanted to balance the bizarre with the Ravenclaw.




rubberduck


i actually gasped out loud. that is shocking. hermione hit a nerve that\'s for sure, but geez, how could harry do such a thing? especially so brutally?id lid like their little talk though.




This was a fun review to get. The idea of people actually reacting out loud to something I wrote!




rubberduck


the story line is amazing. there is no other word for it. i\'m really interested at how things will develop. this looks like a harry hermione story and that pleases me greatly, but there is so much room for draco to step in. i feel ginny may have her heart broken though. that\'s sad.




I don’t see how I can get around breaking poor Ginny’s heart. It’s one thing for a boyfriend to dump you, but the bathing suit chapter really showed Hermione and Ginny as good friends...




but there are a few things that make this story come down a notch. spelling still is an issue. there are many spelling errors. also, a few grammatical errors too.




(I know...I know...I know...) Agreed




rubberduck


draco\'s selection was interesting. it can\'t be just a throw away selection for him. i wonder what\'s up.




So does everyone but Draco. And perhaps Dumbledore. I have an idea as well.




Winky


It takes something really special to get me to spend six hours of time on my day off reading without a break. This story is that compelling. I like both Draco/Hermione and Harry/Hermione stories, and I always feel conflicted when there\'s a love triangle between them. Draco always seems to lose out, and I feel bad for him, especially when he\'s written with any redeeming qualities as you have done (I really prefer D/H over any other ship, so help me).




Thank you so much! This review really meant a lot to me because I had no idea how much writing I had actually done and what it would really take to get through the whole story from the start. I’ve already covered the Harry/Hermione Draco/Hermione possibilities in other responses.




Anyway, the story is great. You\'ve established a plot that is going to take a long time to resolve (that is, if you plan to do it justice), so I\'m wondering how long that\'s going to be.




I’m not sure. I’m doing my best to do it justice. I6;m 6;m a returning adult full time college student and I do have to attend classes and study once in a while. I can’t imagine being able to write more than one chapter a week and I don’t really know how long it will take to finish the story of the relationships.




Winky


Great chapter (17)! I was pleased with how the ceremony came out, especially Draco\'s choice; it showed he has a long-term vision and is not just a hound in need of constant gratification. I also liked the "additional" magic that goes with each gift. It made Hermione\'s choice easier to take. It was clear from the vision that she already had Courage, Knowledge, and Success in abundance, so what she really needed was Charisma. It was not such a short-term or self-serving choice after all. Well done with that.




Keep it up. I can\'t wait to find out what happens next!




Thanks again. I’m hoping to have 18 ready to go by this weekend. I am taking your suggestion (and the suggestion of others) and having it betaed before posting.