The Fortress Within

It was December 13th


It was December 13th.  One week until they laid everything on the line.  
Deep in the dark of night, Severus sat alone before the fire. 
In the next room, Hermione slept alone.
 


To say the last weeks had been trying would be an
understatement.  The Light and Dark
were constantly in flux, neither giving the other any rest. In a single
conversation, Hermione was now changing personas several times. 
Sleep, itself, only brought a short-lived reprieve for her. 
Often, Severus would wake to the find her in tears. At his touch, she
would turn desperate eyes to him.  But
before she could speak, before she could try to purge the pain she was feeling,
the coldness would creep into her and she would abruptly pull from his hand and
turn from him.
 


The physical toll of the constant internal battle was
obvious.  Bouts of nausea and
vomiting brought about by stress had caused her to lose weight and her robes had
begun to hang loosely.  Shadows had
painted themselves under her eyes.  Hermione
adamantly refused any sort of medical attention and insisted that as soon as the
battle was over, she would feel much better. 
 


The last students would be leaving the castle later that
morning.  In two days time, the
aurors would begin to arrive in groups of two and three.  The final batch of the Cito
Exsanguis Neco had been
bottled up and Hermione’s old quarters now looked like an overstuffed dorm
room.  Cots and blankets were lined
up along the walls and in the center of the room stood a large table where the
battle plans would be finalized.


 


Severus longed to go
into the bedroom and take Hermione in his arms.  It had been little more than two weeks since the Deatheater
had allowed him to make love with Hermione. 
The physical discomforts of not being with a woman was something that he
had long ago dealt with.  He was
completely unprepared for the emotional longing that he was experiencing. 
Never had anything ever touched him so profoundly as the times he was
with her, joined to her by heart as well as body. 
The loss of it was so deep that at times he thought he would die of the
want. 


 


So most nights he
was here, sitting by the fire while she slept alone.  The heat of the whiskey coursing through his blood was just
an imitation of that which he craved.  But,
if he drank enough, the night would pass by in an alcohol-induced slumber and
his longing was temporarily put to rest.


 


Severus was shaken
roughly from his sleep by a rough hand on his shoulder. 
“C’mon, Snape, you’re sleeping the day away. 
The Hogwarts express has just pulled out of the station and Albus has
called a staff meeting in the Great Hall.  You
had better get showered and dressed.”


 


Hermione picked up
the empty bottle and frowned at him, “You had better lay off this stuff. 
We need you to have a clear head and this is not going to provide
it.” 


 


Severus ignored his
pounding head and rose to his full height, suddenly furious. 
“What do you know of it?  What
do you know of any of it?  You
don’t know what it’s like, spending the nights cold while you keep her from
me.  What do you expect of me? 
What am I supposed to do without her?”


 


The Deatheater did
not give up one inch of ground to him, even at his imposing figure towering over
her, screaming.  “I expect
you to live up to your end of the deal and stop acting like a love sick puppy. 
You knew from the start that this arrangement was only temporary. 
You had best get used to being without her, because she will soon be
gone.  Gone from this world and gone
from you.”


 


Severus rolled wild
eyes at the ceiling, as he struggled to keep his hands from her shoulders,
struggled to keep from shaking her back and forth violently. 
“Why, what has she done to deserve this? 
What have I done?  She
deserves to make that decision herself, not to have you make it for her; or to
make it for me for that matter.  It’s
our decision.”


 


Hermione curled one
lip, eyeing him with utter disdain. “ I will only say this one time, so listen
up.  This is our decision,
not yours.  Hers and mine! Are you
so sure that she has not made her choice already?” 
With a flap of her robes, Hermione stalked from the room, Severus staring
slack-jawed after her.


 


Had she made her
choice?  Did Hermione want to leave
him when this was over?  Where will
his life be without Voldemort and without her. 
There will be nothing left.  Severus
started to laugh then, laugh like a man possessed. 
Years of battling, spying, fighting, all coming to an end. 
For what??  To spend the rest
of his days teaching these sniveling brats and longing for her. 
He supposed that was his final payback for his trip to Darkness.


 


When he entered the
Great Hall half an hour later it was as The Potions Mater, in all of his greasy,
snide, sneering glory.  He spared
not one glance for Hermione as he took the seat next to her, sitting straight
backed and rigidly.  Severus was
careful to avoid the troubling eyes of Albus as the Headmaster rose to begin the
meeting.


 


“I would like to
thank you all for coming today.  Thank
you as well, for remaining here for my upcoming Pre-Christmas celebration. 
I am confident that it will prove to be one of my better parties.” 
A slight spattering of applause interrupted him briefly.  Albus was well known for throwing spectacular parties.


 


“Thank you, Thank
you.  Now, comes the time for
confessions and requests.  I know
you are all aware of the relationship that has developed between our DADA 
and Potions Professors.”


 


Another brief
interlude of applause as well as snickers made Severus clench his fists and
struggle to stay in his seat.  “What
you are not aware of is the fact that you have all been the victims of a ruse. 
A glorious ruse.  One that has placed our dear Severus and Hermione directly
into the Voldmort’s family of evil.  And
a ruse, that with all of your help will bring an end to his reign of terror.”


 


Gasps of shock, and
murmured questions swept through the group. 
Poppy Pomfrey settled knowing eyes on Hermione gave her a nod and a grim
smile. 


 


“During the dinner
hour on December 20th Voldemort’s army will be descending on the
castle.  Thanks to Hermione and
Severus they will be meeting an instant and untimely death.  Shortly thereafter Voldemort, in the company of Severus and
Hermione, will aate ate into the Great Hall to slaughter me.” 
Albus stopped and laughed out loud. 
“Little does he know that he will be met by the Ministry’s aurors. 
He also is not aware that his 2 most loyal servants have been spying on
him for many months.  Given this
information anyone who chooses to remain at the castle and fight may do so. 
If you do not,  I understand, and you will be taken to a secure location
until after Voldemort has been destroyed.”


 


Albus surveyed all
with a critical eye and spoke gravely, “This should be a relatively easy plan
to execute.  It has been in the
works for several months now.  Still,
if you choose to leave, please say so now.”


 


A still fell across
the hall and after a long moment a smile once again graced the face of the
Headmaster.  “Very good, I
expected nothing less from you all.  Now,
then, Harry Potter will be arriving tonight. 
The aurors will be traveling at night, coming through the Forbidden
Forest to avoid detection.  A
planning room has been set up in the dungeons and they will be housed down there
as well.  You will all be given your
assignments.”


 


Everyone took their
cue as Albus walked around the table and started toward the door. 
They were properly deterred by the hateful look plastered on Severus’
face.  They were not prepared for
Hermione in the current state.  Hermione stood and began to make her way to the door behind
her.  Unfortunatly, Madam Hooch was
the one to try and stop her.  “Hermione,
where are you going.  Stay, we want
to hear all about everything.”  Hermione
stopped and turned around to face the wild-haired professor.


 


“I know this must
have been terrible for you, pretending to be one of them and all.” 
Without thinking, Madam Hooch had indicated Severus with a nod of her
head. 


 


Hermione’s eyes
narrowed and she walked slowly up to the shorter woman. “Pardon me, Rolanda,
but you don’t know a fucking thing about it. 
If you did you wouldn’t dare look down your nose at Snape and you would
not dare try and hold yourself up in front of me now.  I have drawn blood over less of an insult.”


 


Hermione turned and
strode to the door once again.  Hooch
was furious and made to follow, only to be stopped by Severus’ hand on her arm
and Albus’ voice from the other end of the Hall.  “Madam Hooch, leave her alone. 
She speaks the truth.”


 


Thankfully, the door
shut behind Hermione before Hooch could comment.  “Disrespectful, little brat. 
Who does she think she is?”


 


Albus walked quickly
up to Madam Hooch and waved Severus aside. 
“She is a Professor of this school and she is probably thavesavest
witch that has ever walked this earth.  We
go back a long way, Rolanda.  But
let me make sure you understand something. If you ever speak of her in that
manner again your position at this school will be terminated immediately. 
That goes for any of the rest of you. 
Hermione Granger has done more in a single night to see an end to this
than the rest of you in your lifetimes.  Severus
excluded.  You will respect her or you will leave.”


 


Albus moved from the
hall.  As soon as he was out of
hearing range, Madam Hooch huffed indignantly, “Well I never….”


 


The voice of Minerva
McGonagall stopped her, “You can be thankful for that, Rolanda.  You can be thankful.”


 


Severus left the
Hall immediately, not wanting to hear any more. 
He found Hermione in the empty Gryffindor common room. 
She had started a fire and was sitting in front of it, feet up on a
table, smoking a cigarette. 


 


Severus pulled a
chair up to sit opposite her.  He
bent forward and rested his elbows in his knees. 
Hermione watched him as he contemplated the cellophane wrapped pack on
the table.  Finally, he picked it up
and shook a cigarette out of it.  He
turned it through his deft fingers several times before bringing to his mouth. 
He pulled his wand out and when he had it lit he sat back, put his feet
on the table, and took a long, hard drag. 


 


“Since when have
you taken up this vile habit?”


 


“I re-took it
about 30 seconds ago.  I quit when
Albus gave me my teaching position here.  Didn’t
want to be a bad influence on the impressionable young minds. 
At this point I really don’t give a damn about any impressionable young
minds.”


 


“Did Hooch have a
stroke after I left?”


 


Severus laughed out
loud at the question, “No, I wouldn’t say a stroke.  But, she is quite furious, though.  She was headed for what, no doubt, will be a very stern
talking to by Minerva.”


 


“She always walked
around here like she had a broomstick up her ass.  I swear, whenever we were changing she always found a reason
to walk in on us. Talk about lusting after the students.  Gods it was sooo annoying.”


 


They sat together in
silence, smoking and thinking.  Severus
tossed his butt into the fire first and began. 
“Are you ready for all of this.  I
mean Harry, Sirius, Ron… They’re all going to be here.”


 


Hermione sat up and
ground her stub into the carpeting, eliciting another laugh from Severus. 
“Well, I’m not going to slit their throats if that’s what you’re
asking me.  If they stay out of my
way, I’ll stay out of theirs.  Any more than that I can’t promise you.”


 


“I wouldn’t asny mny more than that.”


 


Severus studied her
for a long moment before asking, “So, are you ready for this? 
Only one week and it will all be over.”


 


Hermione sighed and
picked up another cigarette, her mind obviously working out an answer. 
By the time she had it lit she had found one. 
“I’m ready.  I’ve been
ready for this to be over from the second it started. 
Listen, I know you don’t understand.  
There is so much you don’t understand.”


 


Severus threw down
his feet and leaned forward again, pinning his eyes to hers. 
“Damn it, girl, then make me understand. 
Explain it to me.  What is
going on inside that head.  I try, I
truly try to figure it out.  How can
you just walk away from this, your life here?”


 


“This isn’t my
life.  This is her life and this
life was created under the illusion that we were something we’re not. 
You heard Albus.  It’s all a ruse.”


 


He fell back into
the chair again.  His voice was
harsh, strained, “Some things were not a ruse and you know it.”


 


“Some things
didn’t happen to me, Snape.  I had
the pain, she had the glory.  I had
the cold, she had your warmth.  Now,
I get something.  A life, I’ve
earned a life.”


 


“So to have your
life, you’ll rob her of hers.  In
the process, you’ll rob me of mine as well.”


 


Hermione stood up
slowly, “She and I will exist together, as we have been for a long time now. 
We have much to overcome, but once it’s behind us, life will go on. 
As for yours, that’s your own problem.”


 


Severus stared at
the door she had exited through for a long time before he stood, slipped the
pack of cigarettes in his pocket, and left. 

 


Later that night,
Severus found himself sitting next to Hermione in Albus’ office. 
Seated across from them, Sirius Black and Harry Potter. 
He swore the hatred coming off of Hermione was tangible as she eyed
Sirius.  Albus sat at the end of the
table, playing the referee. 


 


Harry was going over
the list of Aurors who would be arriving in the next several days. 
“So, that makes 30 in all.  Think
that’s enough?”


 


Severus narrowed his
eyes, adding numbers in his head.  “With
the 5 of us, and the 9 staff members who are here that should be more than
enough.  I trust you have worked out
the spells that will be used to destroy him.”


 


Sirius puffed his
chest out a bit, “Yes, well, it may be a bit complex for you. 
Potions being your specialty and all. 
Basically it’s Avada Kedavra, but with a huge kick to it. 
We will surround him and combine the powers of all wands, each grasping
the wand of the person next to them in a great circle. 
Harry will be the nexus of the circle of power. He will cast the spell.
The power should be enough to incinerate the bastard instantly.”


 


Hermione eyed Black
carefully with a raised eyebrow, “And who will take the Polyjuice, who will
play the part of Lucius?”


 


Harry’s face was
lit with a bright smile.  Too bright
by Severus’ estimation.  “Why, I
thought Sirius would be the perfect choice, Hermione. 
I trust that meets with your approval, of course.”


 


Hermione moved her
eyes to Harry and Severus could see that there was an unspoken communication
going on.  Albus was observing this
as well, but made no move to intervene.  “Why, Harry, I think that’s just perfect.”


 


Albus nodded his
head slowly, keeping all emotion from his face. 
“Very well, then.  Sirius
it is.  We will meet again formally
in five days to go over everything again.  By
then, Harry, I trust you will have everyone’s positions laid out in the Great
Hall.”


 


Hermione was on her
feet and ready to leave as soon as Harry answered that he would be ready. 
Severus followed her out the door, not offering any polite goodbyes to
anyone other than Albus.


 


They were walking
down the corridor when a voice called from behind.  “Hey, Hermione, where are you running off to so fast. 
I thought, maybe we could do some catching up.” 
Hermione’s feet stopped abruptly and her head rose proudly. 
Before she could turn, Severus hissed, “Granger, leave it, just keep
walking.”


 


She surprised
Severus by complying without an argument.  When
she had turned the next corner, Severus turned and walked slowly up to Black.  
He was fighting to keep from hitting him; but did allow himself the
luxury of shoving him to the floor.  Sirius
pulled his wand from his sleeve, but a well-placed kick had it rolling out of
his reach.  Severus placed one careful foot on Sirius’ crotch and
leaned forward, just slightly.  “If
you so much as breathe wrong in her presence, I will fucking end you.”


 


Sirius’ eyes
widened and in a grand show of intelligence for him, did not reply. 
Severus saw Harry walk up from the corner of his eye. 
Harry did not even glance at the man on the floor. 
“C’mon Severus, I have a bottle of Ogden’s in my bag. 
Care to have a drink?”


 


The two men, not
quite friends, made a small step in bridging a gap that night. 
They left Sirius laying on the floor, staring after them, and alone.


 


Late that night, she
came to him.  His Hermione. 
She emerged from the bathroom a vision in champagne colored charmeuse. 
The long gown was trimmed along the neckline in black lace.  She turned to put out the light, revealing an extremely low
cut back with a crisscross of more black. 


 


Severus moved to put
the book in his hands on the table next to the bed.  In his distraction of the woman in front of him, the book hit
the floor instead.


 


 


Hermione smiled and
moved toward him slowly.  Up over
the foot of the bed she came, crawling slowly. 
Severus didn’t speak, afraid to shatter whatever tenuous hold she had
on her true self at that point.


 


He allowed her to
open the pajama shirt he wore, closing his eyes as she moved it down his arms
and slipped it over his hands.  His
pants came next and they were quickly deposited on the floor. 
When he opened his eyes, she was straddling him, looking at him intently. 
When she had his attention, she lowered her mouth to his.


 


He relished in the
feel of her breasts as he stroked them through the satiny material of her gown. 
Severus sat straight up.  Hermione
started to lift the gown over her head, only to be stopped by his hands. 
“Leave it, I like the way it feels.”


 


With a gentle push,
she was laying on her back underneath him. 
Severovedoved the way his body slid over the material. 
He worked his way down her body, leaving sodden fabric beneath his mouth. 

 


The time away from
her had him close and she hadn’t even touched him.  As her hands moved to stroke him, he pulled them away. 
He slipped the gown up to gather about her waist. 
With one hand up underneath, teasing a nipple, his mouth found her core
and began to work. His free hand plunged in and out while his tongue
concentrated on the swollen nub just above. 
He felt her fingers weaving their way through his hair. 
He thought her unsure whether to push his mouth away or hold him to her.


 


He kept on her until
her cries peaked and he felt her muscles contracting rhythmically around his
fingers.  Again he slid up her body,
pausing to lavish attention on her already hyperstimulated breasts. 
By the time he was at her mouth again, she was panting his name like a
mantra.


 


He slid into her and
quickly moved a hand between their bodies to resume the attention his tongue had
been lavishing on her.  Thankfully,
she peaked again quickly and he allowed himself to go with her.


 


Silently, he held
her to him, long into the night.  He
was afraid to sleep.  Because in the
morning he would wake up to another woman. 
He was afraid this would be the last.