Smile Like You Mean It

Hey all! Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews, and I really hope you like this chapter...

P.S. I'm still looking for someone to beta my story, so if you're interested leave me your email and I'll be in contact!


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Chapter 17 - The Colour Of Your Soul



Aera sat down to Potions, next to Blaise Zabini who seemed even more reserved than usual. To her disappointment he didn't even look up as she settled herself into her seat, pulling her bag onto her lap she began rummaging through it.

Snape had yet to appear and the room was full of muffled whispers as the students took the spare time to catch up with each other.

The silence to her left was making her feel uncomfortable. She tried to reach back through the previous day's events to determine why he would be so quiet. Finally irritation got the better of her and she dropped her back to the floor, rounding on the young man.

"What is it, Blaise? Why aren't you talking to me?" She wondered vaguely if it would have anything to do with Malfoy and their kiss, but she didn't really think he could know about that. Surely Malfoy wouldn't have told him?

She stifled the relieved sigh that rose in her throat when he looked up, meeting her inquisitive gaze.

"It's not that I'm not talking to you, Aera." His tone was reassuring and, for some strange reason, self-pitying. "I'm just... I like you. But as a friend."

Humiliation reddened Aera's cheeks as she tried to recall what had given him the impression that she had wanted more. She stared at him, wondering why he had suddenly decided to spring this on her. He looked as confused himself, as if reading from a script that was unfamiliar.

"I just realised yesterday that while I think you're beautiful and clever, I don't see us ever being together. I wanted to tell you now so that things didn't become complicated." he lowered his voice a little more. "Our kiss in the hospital wing made me think that I was... well more than a little attracted to you. But the truth is that it was brought on by a potion."

Aera had a confused frown marring her features now, feeling a little hurt. Ok, so she had never planned on really doing anything sexual with the handsome man, but to be told in such plain terms that you weren't his type was a little like being slapped in the face.

Blaise read the expression on her face quickly and his own features fell in guilt. "Oh Merlin, I don't mean it like that! You are attractive, gorgeous, and any guy in this room couldn't look twice at you without wondering what it would be like to be with you. But I... I like someone. I've liked this girl since the moment I laid eyes on her and I started seeing you with the knowledge that I could never get her. But I wanted to be your... friend, Aera."

Aera felt herself smile at this news. She laid a gentle hand on her friends shoulder, bemused by the way Slytherins found it so difficult to cultivate friendships with those outside their house.

"Oh Blaise." She noticed the way his muscles bunched under her palm, he was obviously expecting her to retaliate with anger at his confession. "I know how you feel. And I do understand. You don't have to explain it. And I really hope you get this girl you like. Friends?" she asked, stretching out her hand.

He took it gratefully and they shook, Aera leaning forward to give his cheek a light peck. As she turned away to pick up her bag once more she missed the look of loss and resignation that flashed through his eyes.

Snape entered the classroom with his usual flair, robes billowing. His eyes roamed through the students and they hushed, feeling his gaze upon them. The sneer that was gradually lifting his upper lip at the sight of them faltered as his eyes fell on the last pair.

Aera smiled brightly at the Potion's Master, feeling that nothing could dampen the light feeling that her conversation with Blaise had brought. Confusion filled the teacher's face for a moment before he spun around, moving to stand behind his desk. He glanced once more at her before he addressed the class.

"We have much to cover in this class, much to do before the end of the year. To learn we must challenge ourselves. Therefore, we will be attempting an Aura Potion."

Aera heard the gasp from Hermione and smiled. Though she couldn't help but be angry at the girl, she still respected and admired her ability to surprise even the professors with her depth of knowledge.

"Who can tell me about this potion?" Snape asked, though he immediately turned away from Hermione's hand which shot instantly towards the ceiling.

Aera could feel her mind whirring. So far no one else was putting forward any ideas. Yet to her the name suggested something very simple, an Aura Potion...

She tentatively raised her hand, feeling eyes turn towards her. Snape nodded, his expression expectant.

"It's... it's a potion that reveals the drinker's aura." she said, feeling her cheeks burn at the class's attention. "Is that right?"

Snape nodded at the same time that Aera heard Hermione's disappointed huff. "Very good, Miss Vale. Ten points to Gryffindor."

This time more that one voice gasped, though Snape continued as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. Aera felt she knew what the other students were thinking. For Severus Snape to give a Gryffindor house points was as unheard of as Gringott's Goblins giving away gold.

"And so, a little knowledge is required before we delve into the creation. An aura is the emanation from a living creature that is the essence of that individual. By viewing a person's aura, we can determine their character. Different colours have different meanings. For example red can mean passion, or strength. Blue suggests a person who is calm or may recognise their path in life and accept it. Black reflects secrets while white represents truth and purity."

Aera could see others frantically scribbling in their notebooks, but she found the Professor's voice too fascinating. What he spoke of was incredible. With such a potion you could determine whether a person was false or true, their love or their hate. She felt her fingers itching to reach for the ingredients that had already been laid out on the table. She wanted to get right into it, find out how to brew such a powerful concoction.

"We shall begin shortly. I have already provided the ingredients that will be used, as you can see. But the difficulty is in the brewing. Timing is important, as is your method. Here are your instructions. You may begin."

Aera's hands snatched up the first ingredient that was listed on the board. She read down through the instructions quickly, marvelling at how complicated they were. Every stir, every moment was precisely laid out. She was eager to challenge herself with it.

As the classroom bustled with activity, Aera stoked up the fire. It was written that the cauldron would need to be piping hot before adding anything, though many of her classmates had apparently foregone that, throwing their liquids and materials straight in.

Once she started, with Blaise quietly handing her what was to come next, Aera felt her mind grow calm. This was easy for her, potions. She could almost feel how things were to be added. When Blaise missed out a short line of the instructions and passed her a brownie tooth instead of the knapweed stem she snatched it from the table without glancing at the board.

After a while she felt eyes on her and she looked up to find Snape watching what she was doing. Her eyes, bright with pleasure as she stirred, met his and he gave a short nod. He understood how she felt.

All too soon the potion was complete. Students were frantically throwing in the final ingredients, eyeing the clock as they should have done since the beginning. Aera and Blaise's potion winked up at them, its surface a myriad of colours that swirled and mixed and separated. They exchanged a grin with each other, proud of their creation.

"Time is up."

Snape's announcement was met with a number of groans. From the look of it very few had made their potion successfully. Aera glanced around and froze when Malfoy smirked at her, leaning casually against his desk, the potion beside him letting of colourful sparks. She scowled and turned away.

Snape began moving through the pairs of students, waving his wand to vanish any brews that failed to show at least four colours. When he reached Harry's cauldron he gave a smirk, all too like Malfoy's, and waved his wand over the surface. Aera saw the look of frustration and hatred that passed over her brother's face but he kept his peace. There was nothing to be gained by making a fuss. She gave him a sympathetic smile when he looked in her direction and he returned it with a good-natured shrug.

When Snape reached Malfoy's table he gave a satisfied nod. Aera felt irritation rise inside her. If Malfoy hadn't brewed it properly, it would only have been herself and Blaise who had completed the assignment by the looks of it. Now she had to share that small glory with him.

The critical gaze of Snape eyeing the surface of the colourful liquid made her nervous for a moment. This was by far the most complicated and testing concoction she had ever had to make. But then he gave a half smile and nodded, just as he had done with Malfoy. She fought down the excited grin but couldn't hide the smile that tugged at her lips. For a brief second she thought Snape returned it, but then he had turned away and strode back to his desk.

"Fifteen points to anyone who managed to complete their potion successfully. That is fifteen for Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Zabini and Miss. Vale. As for the rest of you..." Snape paused, allowing his gaze to sweep among them. "I would suggest that you try to read the instructions and follow them. For example, Mr. Potter, adding the unicorn fibre too soon results in a ruined potion, as you no doubtfully did."

Harry scowled at the Professor, but managed to hide it behind the pretence of taking his now empty cauldron down off its stand above the fire.

"Now, as there were two potions completed, we have enough to conduct the second part of this class. It is impossible to understand a potion unless you are familiar with its effects. We shall be dividing up the liquid into portions that will allow all you to sample it. If you will, Miss Vale, Mr Zabini."

Aera and Blaise began pouring out small amounts of their potion into tiny vials that Snape provided for them. Once the last of it was gone he moved to Malfoy and began helping him with his. By the time both cauldrons were empty there were at least fifty vials sitting along Snape's desk.

He ordered them into a line, instructing the students to take their vial but refrain from drinking it until he signalled. They followed his directions and finally everyone was back in their seat, the little glass bottle clutched gently in their hand.

"And drink."

Aera pulled the stopper from the neck and lifted the liquid to her lips. It slid down her throat with a slightly congealed texture, and tasted of water. She swallowed thickly and made a face, feeling sure it would come up as quickly as it had gone down. The sensation that it was sticking to the insides of her throat made her want to gag, but as quickly as it had come over her, it was gone.

She turned to ask Blaise if he had experienced a similar sensation, but the words died in her throat. She let out a soft laugh, amazed at what her eyes were seeing.

Colours danced around Blaise's body. She could see the blue that encompassed him, tinged with red around his head. She gazed at him, drinking in the colours. Yellow danced around him, the pattern always changing.

Suddenly he turned to look at her and the colours swirled violently, changing in shade and shape. Now there was pink around him, though it was mixed tightly with the red and there was a dark shadow to it. She stared at him, trying to understand what all the colours meant.

Then their eyes met and Aera gave a hesitant smile. She wanted to know what he was seeing, but when she raised a hand, no colour emanated from her skin. Clearly the potion didn't work that way.

Instead of asking Blaise her gaze travelled amongst the student. She saw Harry, so consumed with colour that she was surprised she could make out any individual ones. Red pulsed around him with white dancing through. Indigo was also there, though its pattern was constantly changing. She wondered at the deep blue that was a constant around his head, unchanging.

She looked away and found her eyes on Draco Malfoy. He was staring straight at her, clearly drinking in the aura that she was giving off but could not see. His own aura was darker than most. Red mixed with violet which was present in both light and dark shades, with a muddy orange and dark green drifting through them all. She was curious about the pinpricks of black that appeared and disappeared. When he saw her looking back at him, for one brief moment the red throbbed harshly with the black becoming more prominent. She pulled her gaze away, not wanting to see more.

"Your homework is to write a two foot essay on the meanings of the colours. I want you to research both the obvious and the less known. They are to be handed up in our next lesson. You are dismissed."

Aera pushed her books into her bag. She didn't want to look up. For some reason Malfoy's aura made her uncomfortable.

"So, what's your next class?" asked Blaise.

"I think it's Charms. What about you?"

"Runes."

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Aera sat in her bed, leafing through the books she had borrowed from the library. She could have just stayed there to research auras, but the quiet and muskiness was no longer a comfort. As she had strolled through the bookshelves her mind had travelled relentlessly back to her encounter with Malfoy there only a day previously. So she had opted to haul the heavy books all the way back to Gryffindor Tower.

Now she was seated, quill in hand, reading the lists of colours and meanings. It was a complicated affair. No one colour meant just one thing. Both its shade and its shape meant something different.

She was glad she had had the foresight to note what colours had been around Blaise and Harry and Draco. She had wanted to be able to gain a little insight into their characters and this was too good an opportunity.

Red - Strength, strong passion, will

Dark Red - quick temper, nervousness, impulsive

Orange - Warmth, thoughtfulness, creativity

Muddy Orange - Pride, vanity

Golden Orange - Self-control

Yellow - Mental activity, optimism, wisdom

Golden Yellow - Self-possessed

Ruddy Yellow - Shyness

Green - Sympathetic, calm, healing, reliable

Dark Green - Jealousy, uncertainness

Blue - Quietness, calmness

Deep Blue - Has found his or her aim or destiny in life, spiritually minded

Indigo - Seeking something in life

Violet - Ability to handle worldly affairs

Dark Violet - Obstacles to overcome

Black - Protectiveness, secrecy

Pink - Love, compassion, love of art or beauty

Dark Pink - Immaturity

White - Purity, truthfulness

Brown - Earthy, establishing new roots

All in all there was a lot of information, even just in the colours. Aera pulled her notes towards her and leafed through to Harry's description. She had noted down red, white, indigo and deep blue. Red had been strongest and she understood that part of it. Clearly Harry was a deeply passionate young man, full of inner strength. The deep blue would also play a part with that. It appeared that he had accepted that Voldemort was his destiny and he knew his aim in life. Yet the indigo suggested that he was also searching for something... It was a puzzle. The white would only be his purity. Harry was a good man.

Malfoy had been the next one jotted down. The red was similar to Harry's, passion, strength. Violet had been both light and dark, an ability to overcome obstacles and an ability to handle worldly affairs. She caught herself smiling at that. She could well believe such things of him. The dark green was jealousy and uncertainness. She knew the first was true, she had seen that spark in his eyes. The second part of that she wasn't so sure about. If there was ever a man who was sure of himself, it was Draco Malfoy. What about the black? A desire to keep something protected of hidden?

She shoved that piece of parchment aside, deciding to tackle it later. Blaise was the last on her list. She thought back to his confession that he wanted nothing more than a platonic relationship and smiled. If anything that could make her master plan even easier.

She ran her finger down through the colours she had witnessed pulsing around her friend. So, blue mixed with red. That could signify a calm character, tinged with passion and inner strength. The yellow just betrayed his natural knowledge, which she had already guessed at. She reached the last colour, pink. She had only seen that when he had turned to look at her. Reading through the reference books she felt herself go cold. Something was screaming for her attention and she was finally comprehending.

He had lied to her. He didn't want a platonic relationship, if he had his aura would have remained the same when his attention fell on her. Instead it had become pink, the colour that clearly told of love.

Could this be true? Aera convulsively clenched the parchment in her hand. But then, if it was true, why had he lied? She couldn't understand it. What was holding him back from pursuing her romantically?

She focused her mind on their earlier conversation. Looking back now she realised how hesitant and uncomfortable he had been. She had presumed it was because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Now, however, it was all shown in a new light.

She threw the parchment at the curtain and it fell in a ball onto her covers. She didn't want things to be complicated, yet it always turned out that way. This revelation about Blaise could make things difficult.

She heard someone come into the room and she peered between the hangings. Ginny was there, trying to determine whether Aera was in the mood for company without actually approaching.

Aera pulled back her curtains and smiled. "Hey! Come on over, I could use a distraction."

Ginny settled herself on the edge of the bed. "So, what's up? Still pursuing our handsome Slytherin?"

A picture of Draco standing before her with damp hair and kiss-bruised lips rose in Aera's mind before she realised that Ginny was talking about Zabini. She shrugged and fidgeted with a loose thread of her covers.

"He told me this morning that he only wanted to be friends." she said quietly.

"Oh!" Ginny huffed in sympathy. "Well, that's a pity. You really liked him, didn't you?"

Aera shook her head. "No, it's not that. To be honest I was kind of relieved that he felt that way. What's bothering me is that he was lying."

She proceeded to tell her friend all about the potion and the meanings she had discovered. Ginny's eyes grew wider with every word.

When she had finished Ginny was quick with her questions. "So he does want you, but you don't want him? When did that change? I thought you were looking forward to getting to know him."

"Oh Ginny." Aera sighed. She knew she shouldn't tell the young girl about the plan Harry, Ron and herself had concocted, yet she hated that this was the one thing she hadn't yet told the red-head. "I got myself into a bit of a pickle. I agreed to try and seduce Blaise to find out whether he was in league with Voldemort." Ginny shuddered, then let out a growl of irritation.

"Ron knows about his, doesn't he?" she snarled. When Aera nodded reluctantly Ginny thumped her fist down on the bed. "That bastard! He has the balls to give out to me about my 'wanton' behaviour, then he goes and talks you into becoming some sort of femme fatale!"

Aera let out a peal of laughter, the hilarity of the situation finally striking her. For a moment Ginny watched her disapprovingly, then she too began to giggle. They clung to each other, laughter ringing through the room.

When they at last regained their composure, Ginny took Aera by the shoulders and looked at her sternly.

"There's more to it, though. You have to trust me, Aera. I want to help. Harry and Ron will do everything in their power to keep me out of this, but I'm the one who knows the truth about you, at least for now. Please, trust me to keep these secrets as hidden as I do your others."

Aera bit her lip. "Alright, but you have to be careful and make sure they don't catch on."

Ginny nodded and made the sign of a cross over her heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die." she said seriously.

Aera began at the beginning, including her kiss with Malfoy, the construction of the plan, her walk with Blaise and her discovery that they would find nothing of use there. When she reached the part where Malfoy turned up in the library instead of Zabini, Ginny interrupted.

"You do realise that Malfoy and Zabini are good friends?" she asked.

Aera nodded. "Well, yeah, I kind of guessed that. I mean, I see them talking every now and then-"

"No, as in they are the sort of friends that would die for each other. Harry, Ron and Hermione may be the Golden Trio, but Malfoy and Zabini are the Slytherin Secret. Something binds them together as much as it does our friends."

"How do you know this?" Aera asked wonderingly.

Ginny gave a soft smile. "I suppose it's only fair that you know my secrets. After all, you've been generous with yours. I went through a stage of finding sneaky Slytherins to be quite attractive and had a couple of flings. I kept my ears open. At one point I was with Zabini myself for a short while, Ron doesn't know and hopefully never will. Every single time Malfoy called Blaise came running, whether he was in class, or with me. And it was the same the other way around."

Aera pondered this new information. Things began to appear a little clearer. Zabini could have told Malfoy everything that had been said on their walk and Malfoy had offered to take his place to prevent Blaise from divulging anything more.

It also explained why Zabini had lied about his feelings for her. If he really did feel that close to the blonde man and he thought his friend wanted her, he would relinquish any claim he had quite readily.

"Oh, Merlin!" Aera gasped, unable to stop the despair welling up inside her. "Ginny, is Harry's plan to get insider information ever going to work?"

"Well," Ginny said slowly. "To be honest, I think this has given us a fantastic opportunity. Now we can at least presume that Draco Malfoy has some sort of want for you, seeing as Zabini backed off so quickly. And as we all know, you can't get much further inside the enemy lines that with the Malfoy family."

"Yeah, but that relies on me actually managing to get him to tell me anything." Aera said brokenly.

Ginny gave a short sharp laugh, folding her arms. "Listen, Aera. There may be many things Ron and I don't agree on, but in this he's spot on. If there is anyone capable of ensnaring Draco, it's you."

Aera smiled at the conviction on her friend's face, though it was an indulgent, weary smile. Ginny growled, standing and pulling Aera abruptly to her feet, she spun her around to face the mirror.

"What do you see?" she snapped. Aera, surprised by the aggression in the girl's tone, stammered for words.

"I... Well... Me. I see me."

"And do you really believe that you would have succeeded in fooling Harry, Ron and Hermione about yourself if you didn't have the skill to lie? Look closer! Dumbledore wasn't stupid, Aera! He told you about yourself when you were still young so that you would start practising your ability to lie to those around you, those you loved."

Aera finally understood. Ginny was right. With anyone else their emotions stood out clear as day, in their eyes, in their body movements. Aera had been trained to hide what she thought, trained only to show what she wanted seen. Even standing there, full of shock and fear at what had just become clear, the person in the mirror was clam and composed. Her stance suggested she was waiting, her eyes were clear of emotion. Dumbledore had moulded her into the perfect liar. Not only could she lie convincingly with words, she could fool people with her entire being.

"Oh what twisted webs we weave, when we practice to deceive." Ginny quoted empathetically.

Aera swallowed thickly. "Can I do this, Ginny?"

"Yes, you can do this. But the question is will you? Using Zabini is one thing. He never means anyone harm. Malfoy is very different. If he discovers that you are telling Harry and Ron everything, he'll pull a wand on you quicker than you can blink."

Aera took a deep breath. Her mind was racing. If she was to do this, it would have to be wholeheartedly. There was no option of backing out if the stakes rose too high. And she would be fighting her own personal demons, every step of the way. Doing this would test her ability to stay detached from her desire for Draco in a way that she had never had to face before.

As Aera looked deep into her own eyes, will Ginny's red hair fanning out in the background, she felt nerves grip her stomach. Tricking Malfoy into telling her things would not be the problem. The problem would be trying not to reveal everything to him.

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"Well, now we know that she's definitely hiding something." said Blaise, doing his best to appear casual. He knew Draco's eyes had been fixed on their mystery girl when her aura had appeared. He himself had found it difficult not to become too drawn in.

Draco tied the last thread that attached the letter to the owl. "I've never seen so much black in an aura. Did you notice how crimson the red was? Whatever she's hiding is something very important to her."

Blaise nodded, pulling his scarf closer around him. The weather had taken a turn for the worse and it was bitterly cold in the Owlery. Wind whistled through the gaping windows and the owls had their backs turned to the draft.

"Remind me again why we are using a school owl. You have a perfectly good one which would have come to your room."

Malfoy smirked. "Sulky, Blaise? I never would have thought you could show that much emotion." He let the owl go and it soared out into of the window. "We are using a school owl because I would rather no one noticed how often I am having to send my father letters. He's becoming more and more curious about her."

Zabini didn't have to ask who her was. He had helped Draco phrase his last letter so as to keep Lucius as ignorant as possible. He would be furious if he discovered that his son was keeping anything of relevance from him and while Draco might not like his father very much, his wrath was to be avoided at all costs.

"You are determined to continue with this then?" As soon as the words had left his mouth, Blaise wished he could take them back. He made a point never to question Draco's actions.

But instead of the anger he had expected, there was silence. Blaise peered over the top of his scarf, trying to read the expression on his friend's face. Malfoy, apparently oblivious to the biting cold, was standing in front of the window, gazing out at the murderous sky.

"I'm looking for an answer, Blaise." Malfoy said softly. "I need to know what my next move is. Staying apart from this war is all very well, but a time will come when each witch and wizard are asked to take a side. My family demands that I stand with them, yet my instinct tells me that such an alliance will only result in ruin. But then I remember the truth. Potter has not won. Why then would I choose to ally myself with the light when the end is so unclear?"

Malfoy turned and Blaise found himself faced with a man who had spent many a sleepless night pondering such dark thoughts.

"Perhaps I am being a hopeless fool, Blaise. But for some reason I find myself believing that Aera has the answers. There's something about her, something that... that..."

"That makes you jealous because she has something she believes in so strongly that she can hide her secrets without difficulty." Zabini finished.

"Yes." breathed Draco, his eyes distant. "Maybe her secret can help me choose. I can't even be sure whether she is for Light or Dark but behind those eyes is a world where pure conviction is protection." He came back to himself with an elegant shake and grinned. "You always did have the words, old friend. Come, let us get back to the warmth."

Zabini followed after the Malfoy boy with a heavy heart. Of course he had the words. He understood exactly how Drake felt, because he himself felt just the same.

As they descended the steps a shadow detached itself from the wall and approached. Zabini was aware of Malfoy reaching for his wand at the same time as his own was gripped between his fingers.

"There is no need for those." The cold drawl made Zabini relax as his eyes began to recognise their professor in the dim light of dusk.

Malfoy was a little more hesitant about letting go of his wand. "Professor." he said civilly and stepped to the side to pass the teacher by.

A pale hand reached out and stopped him. "I would like a word with you, Mr Malfoy. Mr Zabini you are free to return to your common room."

Blaise nodded. He had none of Draco's flair for disobedience when it came to teachers. Even as he thought this his friend was beginning to scowl.

"It's only a few minutes to curfew, Professor." Draco began, but he was cut short.

"I will write you a note, if necessary. You will accompany me to my office." stated Snape in a tone that demanded no more defiance.

Draco opened his mouth to argue more but Snape had already swept off down the hall, obviously expecting his student to follow.

"Go on." said Blaise. "I'll see you back in the dorm."

Draco scowled further but turned and trailed after the disappearing teacher, his walk crying out reluctance.


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Ok, I know this chapter took a while in coming. Sorry bout that.

Please review!

xxx Aera