AFTERWARDS

The sun shone through the window of Hermione’s room, dappled rays dancing across the two people who were wrapped in each other’s arms and slowly waking from a sound sleep.



Severus opened his eyes slowly and glanced at Hermione, who was lying with her head on her pillow, watching him as he woke.



‘Hi…’ she smiled at him slowly, her eyes soft as she gazed on his face.



‘Hello…’ he smiled at her, his voice gentle but deep, his velvet tones washing over her. Severus lifted his hand from where it had been resting on her waist and gently pushed her softly curling hair from her cheek, stroking her face gently with his fingers. ‘How are you?’ He raised his eyebrow. It was a loaded question.



‘I feel wonderful… complete… It’s hard to describe, actually.’ She stated and smiled again ‘How are you?’



‘I cannot say…’ Severus closed his eyes.



Hermione pulled away slightly. It had not gone un-noticed to Hermione that he had not said he loved her. In a panic she suddenly wondered if this would be it and that now they had gone this far, he would want to end their association. Feeling her eyes start to well with frustrated tears she closed her eyes tightly. She would not cry in front of him.



‘Hermione…’ Severus’s voice was concerned. He was watching her as her thoughts flitted across her face. He could have used Legilimency but felt this was unworthy of him.



‘I’m OK, Severus… it’s fine. I know I have sort of thrust myself on you. I have loved you for so long its just part of me, but I can’t just expect you to make room for me in your life.’ Hermione smiled a small smile.



Severus stiffened at her words. ‘Don’t you want me to make room for you?’ His voice had a hard edge to it and Hermione looked at him in shock.



‘Of course I do! Do you think I would tell you I love you, make love to you and then want it to end just like that?’ Hermione could feel anger bubbling in her stomach.



‘I do not understand this conversation…’ Severus sighed and pulled away from Hermione, lying back on his pillow. Silence fell over them like a blanket, both confused and neither knowing what to say.



Hermione lay next to him and bit her lip. She could feel the heat from his body a few inches from hers and desperately wanted him to take her in his arms and hold her and tell her everything was OK between them. He didn’t do that. Instead of holding her and making her feel wonderful, Severus threw the covers back and climbed out of her bed.



‘Are you going, Severus?’ Hermione’s lip trembled against her will.



‘It would appear so, Hermione.’ His voice was low and held no warmth. He was feeling as confused and as hurt as she was. He was so unaccustomed to relating to women, he had no idea how to remedy the situation.



With a flick of his wand, Severus was dressed. He pulled on his boots and walked over to the fireplace. He glanced over at Hermione, who had hidden her head beneath the covers to hide her tears. She heard him leaving and moaned her pain into her pillow.



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Two hours later, a sad Hermione Granger walked slowly towards the library. She had looked through her own stock of reference books but couldn’t find any on childbirth. She had snorted at her own stupidity. Why would a school hospital have books on childbirth?



She wrapped her arms around herself and tried as hard as she could to push her thoughts of Severus far from her mind. It was futile and she played over the events of the morning in her head over and over again, searching for where things had changed between them. Her mind was also swamped with memories of her first experience of love making, veering between ecstasy at the memory of it and grief in the knowledge it would probably never happen again.



Hermione was still brushing away tears as she pushed open the door of the library.



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Severus sat on his sofa, his head in his hands, pulling at his hair in frustration. He stood and paced the room and at one point, punched the side of his bookshelf, causing many volumes to dislodge and fall to floor.



He was an intelligent man but communication was never his strong point. He was at a complete loss and played the events of the morning over in his head, trying to see where he had gone wrong. His body was aching for Hermione and he wished they had made love instead of talking. They were only a short way into their relationship, if that is what it is, but he already knew he needed her as much as he needed air to breath. He just wasn’t very practiced at sharing his feelings with himself, let alone anyone else. The only person he had ever been able to share his feelings with, apart from Lily, was Albus.



Severus sighed and poured himself a glass of Firewhisky, drinking it down in one before he left his quarters and made his way to the Headmistresses office.





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Oh dear... the path of true love eh??



Thanks so much for the positive feedback, glad you liked the last chapter... there will be more romping with Severus, don\'t panic!!