Darker Side of Me

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 17

Harry let go of Draco, staring at him. He was filled with a mixture of anger, loathing, desperate need and love and the whole mess of it had the effect of a category 5 hurricane on his insides. He couldn’t believe that Draco had just put him through all that just to figure out whether or not Harry was capable of killing Voldemort. He couldn’t believe Draco had put himself through all that.

“You have to understand,” Malfoy whispered to him, seeming to read Harry’s mind. “This was the only way to do it.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Harry told him, his anger seeping through his words. “You chose this way. You chose this way and now I’ll never be able to forgive myself for causing that kind of pain to you.”

“I cursed you before… remember?” Draco added, casting his eyes away. “How do you think I feel?”

“So what, this was trying to make me feel your pain?” Harry snapped, removing his glasses and rubbing the sweat and tears from his eyes. “Besides, you did that unknowingly while you were sleeping. I was fully aware and conscious when I cursed you.”

“Harry, please,” Draco pleaded. “I was not trying to do to you what I had done to myself. And I asked you to do this to me. In fact, I forced you to use the curses on me. You should not feel bad, it was my own fault.”

“But I do feel bad!” Harry snapped. “I feel terrible! I could have refused and simply taken the beating! I could have walked away, but I didn’t!!”

“Good! You need to learn that!!” Draco yelled, regaining some of his frantic disposition. “You need to be aware that there is no walking away and there is no refusing if you plan to survive! You can be in a position where you have to curse your own best friend because they are being controlled by the Death-Eaters! Hurting those you love might be the only way to save them in the end.”

“Stop it! Stop it!” Harry screamed. “Stop saying things like that!! I won’t hurt those I love and I’ll find another way around if it comes to that! I will not believe that you are going to hurt me inevitably!” Harry stared into Draco’s surprised eyes. “I know that’s what you are driving at and I refuse!!”

Without another word, Harry pulled Draco into a kiss and pressed himself against Malfoy. They held it for a long moment and Harry could feel some of the tension wash away and melt into their rough and yearning embrace. He pulled away after a moment and simply stared at Malfoy. Draco looked angry with him but he looked down and could not hold the feeling for long.

“Harry?” Remus’ voice called from in the hall. “Draco? Is everything alright? Hermione, Ron and Ginny have arrived. They are waiting downstairs.”

“Come on,” Draco whispered to his beaten lover. “Let me clean you up.”

*_*_*

Draco finished cleaning Harry’s face and adjusted his clothes to mask what had been done to him. He winced at seeing the deep bruises he had caused on the Gryffindor’s stomach. He kissed Potter lightly before putting the sweater Mrs. Weasley had knitted for him back over his head and heading downstairs to meet Lupin and Harry’s friends.

“Harry,” Lupin said, staring at his sallow skin and cut lip. His eyes drifted to Draco soon after and he observed the strange weakened pallor behind Draco’s usually strong face. “Is everything alright? What happened to you both?”

“Just spell practice,” Harry replied immediately. “Got out of hand and we each hit each other with some not so pleasant spells. Kind of knocked the warmth and air out of us.”

“Here,” Lupin said, handing them each a piece of chocolate. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“Is that your answer to everything?” Harry asked, a small smirk on his face. Lupin always carried chocolate with him.

“You would never imagine the fantastic healing properties of chocolate,” Remus responded with a calm smile.

Draco accepted the chocolate but did not eat it. He did not feel the compulsion to make himself feel better just yet. He watched, however, as Harry took a bite of his and immediately regained some colour to his beautiful face. Draco wished he hadn’t forced Harry into doing what he had. He wished that he hadn’t been forced to beat his lover to make him do it, but he couldn’t go back now. He couldn’t undo what he had done and perhaps it was for the better.

“Harry!” Hermione’s shrill voice came from down the stairs. She immediately ran up to him and threw herself onto him in a hug. Draco grimaced. Harry was likely in pain from his attacks. “It feels like it’s been forever! How have you been? What happened to your lip?”

“Hermione, leave him alone! You’ll have time to drive him fully mad later,” Ron sneered, stepping forwards to meet them. “Give him a little more time to say goodbye to his sanity.” Hermione frowned at Ron. “You wouldn’t believe how annoying she’s been without you there.”

“You sound like an old married couple,” Draco interjected, mildly amused at their antics. Hermione suddenly seemed to spot the blonde.

“M-… Draco,” she greeted, a little unsure of herself. She hesitated and then flung her arms around him as well, throwing caution to the wind. She pulled back, however, rather quickly. Draco hadn’t had time to take it all in. “You feel terribly cold,” she stated, putting a hand to his cheek. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Lupin gave me chocolate,” Draco answered. It was all he could think to say. She seemed mildly reassured.

“Eat it then, it’ll help.” Ginny suddenly appeared from behind her older brother.

“So I’ve heard,” Draco answered listlessly. Ron stared at him a moment. “Hello Weasley.”

“Malfoy,” Ron answered, no strong rancor in his tone. “Still alive, I see.”

“As far as I can tell,” Malfoy replied, still refusing to eat the chocolate.

“Good.” Ron gave him an uncomfortable smile and a nod. Draco blinked. He never thought he would see the day…

“So, Dumbledore let you all leave early?” Harry asked, leading them into the sitting room that displayed the Black Family Tapestry. He sat down on the large old couch and Draco sat beside him, refusing to look at him.

“Yeah,” Ron answered. He sat on Harry’s other side. “Thought it was a good idea for us to come and stay with you for a while, actually. Although thanks to someone here, we had to write final exams early and all.” He made a rather jerky gesture towards Hermione, who huffed at him.

“You should have expected that,” Harry snickered.

“That’s not the point,” Hermione snapped. “We got to come early, didn’t we? Now we can prepare with you two.”

“It likely wouldn’t do much good for you, Granger,” Draco remarked, staring straight in front of him. His voice drawled as he spoke and, feeling everyone’s eyes on him, he looked around. “She’s likely already seen all the damn defense spells we’ve been going over,” he explained, meaning nothing by his comment.

“Well I still think it would be useful to practice,” she added, a little flushed.

“Dumbledore said you guys have been training all this time with Tonks and Lupin,” Ginny said. “That must have taught you something useful.” Draco held his tongue.

“Well,” Harry began, looking at Malfoy for a quiet moment. “They are useful in general.” He edged a little closer to the Slytherin. “But in facing Voldemort and the Death-Eaters, we’ll likely have to use some far more powerful and rather dark spells.”

“Dark spells?” Hermione repeated. She seemed worried. “But, what do you mean? Dark magic??” Draco was staring at Harry.

“Well, yeah,” Ron cut in. “I mean, there are few spells meant to do damage to anyone and there is only one spell that is meant to kill. How did you expect Harry to defeat You-Know-Who unless he could use those same curses?”

“I just…” Hermione frowned, unsure of what to say. “Those are Unforgivable.”

“Yes, we got the memo,” Harry said rather dryly.

“Do you honestly think they’ll arrest Harry for using an Unforgivable curse to get rid of You-Know-Who?” Ron asked with a mite of disdain.

“Well, I don’t know, but isn’t there any other way?” Even after six years of spending time with Harry and Ron, Hermione was still uncomfortable with breaking any kind of rule.

“No,” Harry answered, staring back at Draco in silent acceptance. “There is no other way.” He turned to his friends. “I am going to have to kill someone, perhaps many people. That is just something I am going to have to come to terms with.”

They were all silent for a while, thinking over the powerful words that Harry had just spoken. Draco was filled with a terrible sense of fear and discomfort knowing that he had made Harry think that way. He stared at nothing for a while, wondering if he had been wrong. If there was perhaps another way.

There was a sudden frantic and panicked rustling from the entrance hall. Many adult voices were muttering back in forth in surprise and alarm. The five of them sat up and looked at one another, apprehensive about what was going on. The voices drew closer and grew darker and more worried. Finally, Lupin, Snape, Tonks and two Ministry wizards stepped into the room, each face appearing darker than the next.

“What’s going on?” Harry asked, getting to his feet. The two Ministry wizards gave Lupin a disapproving glance before he stepped forwards and turned his attention to Draco, instead of Harry.

“We’ve received some news,” he tempted quietly. His tone was forced and calm but his eyes broadcast an impending horror.

“Of what?” Malfoy asked, getting to his feet to stand next to Harry. He felt his stomach drop and suddenly he felt as though he was looking at everything around him through a fishbowl.

“There were a series of killings done by Death-Eaters this week,” Remus continued, carefully choosing his words. “The Ministry and the Order have been investigating them all. All of them, naturally, had a Dark Mark floating above the house, though the question was in why the victims were chosen. Most were muggles or muggle-born witches and wizards. One, however, stood out.”

“Who was it?” Harry asked, his voice ringing with concern. Draco, however, already knew. He felt detached from his body, suddenly, and could do nothing but turn his attention to the Black Family tapestry.

“It took some time,” Remus answered quietly. “But the body was identified as being that of Narcissa Malfoy.”

There on the ancient, ornate tapestry, Draco’s eyes rested on his mother’s name. Underneath it was her date of birth, preceded by her newly embroidered date of death. The chocolate he was still holding suddenly dropped to the floor. Without turning away from the tapestry he spoke, as though in an attempt to make it all seem more real.

“They killed my mother.”


A/N: Ok so I got some lovely reviews from the last chapter and I really hope that with the next three you all won't change your mind and suddenly wish death upon me, ehehe. I will be posting Chapters 18 and 19 together, by the way, because 19 is shorter than the rest of them but I don't think you'll like me too much for that either. Also, I'm going to share a lovely little secret with you all that isn't really a secret and isn't really lovely. I am in first year university right now (which some of you might also be) and it sucks. However, I am also a science student. Can you believe it? I certainly can't. So that's just a little warning on if you see random comments in there that seem more scientific than anything else, it's just my courses getting the better of me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! More to come soon!