Secrets

Harry wanted so much to express how he felt for Severus, but he didn’t quite know how. He was not able to put his feelings into words well, and although the pair had kissed and slept in the same bed, the thought of doing anything more was daunting to Harry. He knew, though, that he had to, eventually. A voice in his head taunted him daily, saying that Severus would leave him if he didn’t get some play soon. The voice was less in his head, though, and more coming from the mouths of his friends, who were, in all fairness, trying to be supportive. He couldn’t escape their questions and suggestions for more than thirty minutes on any given day. That particular day, the three of them were wandering around Hogsmeade, peering into the windows of the shops until shooed away by the shopkeepers.

“So Harry,” prodded Hermione, “has anything new come up.” She looked at her friend expectantly.

“Not really,” he said, doing his best to evade the question. “I mean, I guess transfiguration isn’t as hard as it was.”

“That’s not what she meant, Harry,” Ron said. “She wants to know if you and…well…you know.” He still wasn’t able to say that Harry and Snape were a couple. Strictly speaking, no one at Hogwarts was supposed to know, so of course everyone knew. Strangely, though, everyone managed to be pretty normal about it. Snape said that Dumbledore had drugged them all in their sleep, but Harry thought that it was just a matter of time before someone grew a pair and told the entire world.

“We’re just curious, is all,” continued Hermione, “and we want to help you, if we can.”

“I mean, you can’t really be celibate for the rest of your life,” muttered Ron.

“Well, you could,” corrected Hermione, “but you probably wouldn’t have much of a chance at maintaining a long term relationship that way.”

“It’s not like it’s horrible or anything,” said Ron. “I mean, it’s different when, y’know, both people…”

“Ron,” hushed Hermione. “What he means is that the past does not necessarily dictate the future. Simply because something was one way before does not mean that it will be that way this time. I’m sure that if you just talk to him, it’ll be fine.”

“And there are loads of ways to relax beforehand,” Ron said. “I mean, lots of times ‘Mione and I have a few butterbeers before we…”

“Ron,” scolded Hermione, “when will you pay attention? You know that Harry can’t drink.” She launched off on some tirade, but Harry wasn’t listening. It seemed, actually, that he had found his answer. Perhaps Ron had a good point. If he could just relax himself a bit, the first time with Severus wouldn’t be completely dreadful. Severus had kept stressing that they wouldn’t consummate their relationship until he was ready, but Harry thought that perhaps he had found the thing that it would take to get him ready. Absently, he veered off to the left, heading to another part of Hogsmeade.

“I’ll catch you guys later,” he said, “I’ve got some things I need to pick up.” As he wandered off, he hoped that his connection was still around town.

“Do you think he heard anything we said,” pondered Hermione, as she watched her small, thin friend wander down the street.

“You know how he is, ‘Mione, always with his head partially in the clouds.”
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It’d been a while since Harry had consumed anything remotely intoxicating, so he wasn’t surprised that a little bit of smack went a long way. He felt the familiar feeling of relaxation come over him as he sat in Snape’s quarters, staring into the fire. He’d taken enough to relax himself, but he was pretty sure that he would still be able to think and act like he normally did, thus arousing little or no suspicion in his partner. His purchases were safely hidden away in his trunk, and he was curled up on the couch, awaiting his lover’s return. Snape arrived with no ceremony, cursing mildly under his breath. The man hung his robe in the closet and walked over to where Harry sat.

“Bloody staff meetings,” he said, “it’s ridiculous, the things that go on.” The older man shook his head and leaned in to kiss Harry on the cheek gently. He was startled when the boy returned the kiss, focusing on his lips. Severus was taken aback at Harry’s sudden bravery, and then forgot about it completely as his lips were enveloped in a deep, sensuous kiss. Without thinking, he pulled the boy onto his lap and began tracing the length of his body with his hands. Harry squirmed in his lap, gasping as he was touched in new ways by his lover. Severus gasped as the boy latched onto his neck and began to suck gently, teasing him with his tongue. The boy made his way up to Snape’s ear, nibbling on the earlobe gently. It was then that he whispered the words that Snape had been waiting to hear.

“I’m ready Sev,” the boy moaned. He moved to kiss Severus deeply, as sensuously as he knew how. Immediately, Severus reacted, allowing hands free reign over the boy’s body. Harry had spoken. He would get what he wanted. Gently, Severus lifted the boy and carried him to their bedroom, kissing him all the while. It seemed like an eternity before the pair made it to the bed, as if there was no possible way to wait.

Severus laid Harry down on the bed and disrobed him with a flick of his wand. Soon, his larger body joined Harry’s thinner, smaller one on the bed. He grinned as he saw, for the first time, Harry’s cock, jutting up, begging for attention. Instead, he stroked the boy’s chest, gently working his way down to his hips. His fingers moved along Harry’s legs, between Harry’s legs, eliciting whimpers and groans from the boy. He knew that this needed to be good for the boy. It was important that Harry learn that sex could be fun, pleasurable. He felt Harry’s head nuzzled against his shoulders, and he smiled. Despite all of his experiences, Harry was, essentially, an innocent. He kissed Harry deeply before moving down and taking the excited cock into his mouth. Snape had to keep his lips from turning up into a smile when he heard Harry’s gasp. He continued to lick gently, at the same time reaching into a drawer to withdraw a small jar of lubricant. He dipped a finger into the jar, and then moved the finger to the boy’s entrance. Gently, he began to massage, stretching Harry out. At first, Harry tensed up when the finger entered him, but gradually, he began to relax. Once Harry grew accustomed to one finger, Snape inserted two, careful to hit what he recognized to be Harry’s sweet spot. Soon, the boy was writhing underneath him, and Snape could tell that he was close to coming.

Abruptly, Snape withdrew his fingers and ceased his ministrations about Harry’s cock. He smiled as the boy looked up at him, clearly confused. Grinning, Snape lifted Harry’s bottom up and placed it on a pillow.

Harry knew what was coming when Snape reached for the pillow. The inevitable was coming; he only hoped that he would remain relaxed. He could still feel the affects of his drugs coursing through him, but fear joined the intoxicants in stimulating his psyche. The feeling grew when he could feel something that was definitely not a finger perched at his entrance. He felt Severus’ hand come down and caress his cheek. Gradually, Harry felt an increase in pressure. He could feel Severus as he slowly entered him, sheathing his cock inside. Harry closed his eyes, hoping to banish the thoughts of his past from his head. After a moment, he felt Severus begin to move. The older man’s lips met his in a fiery kiss, and at that moment, Snape increased his tempo. Harry wrapped his arms around his lover, feeling very confused by the entire experience. Everything felt different that he had expected it to. He had expected Severus to treat sex like his uncle had. This was different, though, just as the man had promised. Before Harry’s thoughts could continue, he felt a gentle hand reach down to pump his cock. He gasped, as the sensation of being filled and fondled overtook him. Like fireworks, it coursed through him, causing his muscles to tense, causing him to moan audibly. Soon after, Severus followed him into oblivion.
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Harry awoke with a screaming headache and the feeling that someone was about to get very angry at him. Instinctively, he curled up into a tight ball, preparing himself for the onslaught. After a moment, he realized that something was awry, and he poked his head out from under the covers. He saw Severus laying beside him, sleeping contentedly. Visible also was his trunk, carefully locked, just as he had left it last night. A million thoughts ran through his head as he tried to figure out what, exactly, he had done. When he moved his lower half, a familiar soreness reminded him of exactly what had transpired.

God, he needed a hit. Without thinking, he quietly got out of bed and walked over to his trunk. Quickly, he looked over to make sure that the older man was asleep. When he confirmed that Severus was, indeed, still in the land of the dreaming, he opened the trunk and reached for a small bundle at the bottom. Hurriedly, he walked to the bathroom.

Within minutes, Harry was floating, all anxiousness leaving him. He had the presence of mind to walk back into the bedroom and hide his bundle safely in his trunk before climbing back into bed. Nestled against the man he loved, he fell into a warm sleep.