Broken Smile

Broken Smile

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sat in the living room; Arthur was reading the paper while Molly mended a rip in Ginny’s coat. Hermione and Charlie stood outside the living room door. “I can’t; I’ve changed my mind,” Hermione said, turning around to face Charlie. “You can; I’ll be with you and so will Alfie,” Charlie said, handing the stuffed dragon to her.

“Why don’t you and Alfie tell them and I’ll wait out here?” Charlie gave her a look that remained her of Molly. “Fine, I’m going,” Hermione said, taking a deep bh anh and opening the door. Both Molly and Arthur looked up. “Hi, kids,” Arthur said. Hermione didn’t like his choice of words: ‘kids.’ Charlie gives Hermione a little push into the room.

“Hi,” Hermione said, sitting down next to Charlie on the sofa. He gave her Alfie to hold. “Is that Aflie?” asked Molly. “Yeah, we found him the other day in the attic,” Charlie said, looking at Hermione, encouraging her to tell them.

“What were you two doing in the attic?” asked Molly. Charlie looked at Hermione again and then answered for her. “I was showHermHermione all of our baby stuff you kept,” Charlie replied. “Well, you’ll never know when it will come in handy,” Molly said, receiving a panicked look from Arthur.

Charlie gave Hermione a little nudge and placed Alfie in her lap. She cleared her throat and gave a nervous laugh, which causes Molly and Arthur to look at her. “Are you alright?” Arthur asked. Hermione took a deep breath. “No, I’m not…everything is just so messed up,” Hermione said, unable to look at them. ollyolly stopped sewing. “What’s wrong, dear?” she asked. Hermione started to fiddle with the stuffed dragon in her lap. “Hermione,” Arthur said, sitting forward, “what’s happened?” Hermione looked up at both of them. “I’m…pregnant,” she said softly.

It was like time had stopped; all that Hermione could hear was her heart beating. Arthur looked at Molly but she was looking at Charlie, “By whom?” Molly asked. Hermione followed Molly’s eye trail. “It’s not what you think; I wish it was by Charlie…or by Ron… but my life is not meant to be full of happiness; I realized that a long time ago,” Hermione said as tears slipped down her cheeks.

Arthur was stunned by the news; he sat rooted to his chair but Molly seemed to be more than able to move. She came over to Hermione and knelt in front of her, taking hold of her hands. “Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” Molly asked in a hurt voice. “I’m sorry…I was scared. Charlie guessed, and so I told him, and he said I should tell you, but I couldn’t.” Hermione tried to explain, but her tears prevented any further words.

Molly took hold of Hermione and rocked her on her knee as if she was a small child while the two men looked at them, unsure on what to do or say. Hermione cried against Molly while she whispered sweet words to her. Arthur looked across at Charlie and mouthed to him ‘Let’s make some tea.’

When the men returned Hermione had stopped crying and was on the sofa curled against Molly; they had talked about a few things, and Hermione told Molly how fed up she was with morning sickness. “I have a few recipes that will help with that,” Molly told her. They sipped the tea and asked hard questions. “You have options, Hermione,” Molly said, stroking her hair.

“I know but they’re not easy ones,” Hermione said, still holding onto Alfie like a lifeline. “I know you don’t want to have an abortion but you could think about adoption,” Molly said gently. “I thought about that a lot but I couldn’t…I would feel like a piece of me was missing,” Hermione said, hoping they would understand what she meant.

They talked for another hour; Molly told Hermione she would make an appointment with Dumbledore about her condition. Arthur didn’t say much; he was shocked. Before Hermione went to bed she wanted to speak to him.

Arthur was outside trying to clear his head; he heard the front door open. “Hermione it’s cold out here—go to bed,” Arthur said without turning around. Hermione stopped in her tracks and stared at his back. “Are you angry with me because of the baby?” Hermione asked, holding her breath.

Arthur let out a long breath himself. “Hermione, go to bed,” he said again more firmly. He could hear her start to sob. He couldn’t take it anymore. He turned around and, holding back his own tears, said “Come here,” holding out his arms to her. Hermione ran into his embrace. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Hermione sobbed.

Arthur held her. “You have nothing to be sorry about; it’s me who should be sorry,” Arthur said while a few of his own tears fell. Hermione pulled back from him. “This wasn’t your fault,” she told him while tears continued to fall.

“The one man I have despised most of my life has hurt you in the worst possible way and I can’t do anything about it…I couldn’t protect you from him,” Arthur said bitterly. Hermione could see the hurt in the eyesthe the man she thinks of as a father. “But that’s just it, you and Molly have done more that you know.” She stopped, wiping her tears, and then continued. “You took me in when my parents were killed, making me part of your family.” More tears fell but Hermione just let them.

“We didn’t take you in, Hermione, you already belonged,” Arthur said. Taking her in his arms, they just stood outside in the cold January night.

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The week had gone by quickly; Hermione had planned to tell the other Weasleys after Sunday dinner. She hadn’t touched her food; she was just as nervous to tell the rest of the family as she had been to tell Molly and Arthur. After dinner was over, Molly made tea and told everyone it was time for a family meeting. Hermione sat in-between Molly and Charlie at the dinner table.

Hermione looked at all the happy faces; she knew that wouldn’t last for long. Silence graced the table; then Molly looked at Hermione and smiled at her warmly. Hermione took a sip of her tea. “Well… this is hard…” Hermione broke off. Bill looked at her worriedly. “What’s wrong?” he asked. Hermione looked at him. “I’m pregnant.”

“What?” But it wasn’t Bill who spoke; it was Ginny. Hermione’s eyes moved to her. “You mean Ron…?” Ginny asked. Hermione shook her head as a single tear fell. Ginny went quiet and look down at her hands; George put his arm around her but Bill stood up and walked out of the back door.

Charlie went to stand up and go after him. “I’ll go,” Hermione said, placing her hand on Charlie’s shoulder. She had to walk fast to keep up with Bill; he was already half way across the garden. “Bill, stop…please stop,” Hermione called after him. “I don’t want to talk about it, Hermione; go back inside,” Bill called back as he continued to walk.

Hermione stopped in the middle of the grass. “I don’t care what you want; you can’t just walk away like this, like a child!” Hermione yelled. Bill stopped in his tracks and spun around; they now stood ten feet apart. “Like a child? You’re the child! Do you think it’s going to fun to play house?” Bill asked while his face turned red.

“Play house… playing fucking house! Is that’s what you think I’m doing?” Hermione yelled back. “This is real! There’s nothing make-believe about being pregnant or throwing up every morning! This is very real.”

“You don’t realize what our world is like. They don’t accept unmarried pregnant mothers who are not even out of school…do you know what it will feels like being ridiculed?” Bill asked.

Hermione had tears in her eyes. “I know how it feels to be an orphan at sixteen. I know how it feels to lose the man I love and I know how it feels to be raped… to have everything taken away…to be broken.” Hermione stopped; she could see how much pain she had inflicted on Bill.

He stood very still, she wanted to go to him and take back all the pain she caused him. After the longest moment Bill turned away from her and sat down on the grass. Hermione just stared at him from a distance, not knowing what to do.

Hermione wiped away her tears, realizing she had to be the strong one; the way Charlie is for her, now she had to do the same for Bill. She approached him slowly, pondering on what to say to make him understand or at least to look her in the eyes.

She kneeled behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders and kissing the top of his head gently. “I want to tell you that everything is going to be okay and that there will be a time when all of us feel content again, but I can’t; I learnt that a long time again,” Hermione said softly.

“This war took a lot of people we loved—a lot of people I loved—but we can’t change the past.” Hermione paused because Bill took hold of her hand and kissed it gently. “I’m pregnant; I have to deal with that…I know people won’t understand, sometimes I don’t even understand.”

“I don’t understand; I don’t think I ever will…but I love you and will always support you no matter what,” Bill said, meaning every word. Hermione turned his face to the side so she could look into his eyes. “Thank you,” she said as she kissed his cheek.

“This is hard for me; I don’t want to see you hurt anymore,” Bill said, turning around. “Bill, I have a long away to go…and I’m going to hurt again, that’s life; but if I have my family I know I can get by,” Hermione said, trying to keep her emotions in check.

“I’m not going anywhere; how could I? You’re my baby sister,” Bill said, kissing her cheek.

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Hermione lay in bed wide-awake; tomorrow she will be on the train back to Hogwarts for a meeting with the Headmaster and her Head of House. The other students were not due back for two more days; Dumbledore thought it would be best for Hermione to come wit without the other students.

Hermione tossed and turned for a while until she gave up on the idea of sleeping. She pulled back the covers and climbed out of bed, making her way downstairs for a snack. Hermione poured herself a glass of milk and took three chocolate biscuits from the tin. “Chocolate biscuits at two-ten in the morning; not very healthy,” Charlie said in a singsong voice.

Hermione turned around with a grin on her face. “What are you doing up?” she asked. “Couldn’t sleep; you?” Charlie asked, taking a glass from the cupboard. “Just bit nervous about the meeting tomorrow,” Hermione replied as she passed the milk to him. “You have nothing to worry about. Mum will sort it all out, and Dad will nod a lot,” Charlie said, carrying the tin of biscuits over to the table where Hermione was already sitting.

“I can come with you, if you want?” Charlie offered. Hermione shook her head. “No, you already took an extra week off for me. I don’t want to inconvenience your life anymore,” she said, not looking at him. “You’re right; you have been an inconvenienceain ain in the arse,” Charlie joked, receiving a glare from Hermione. “Fine, I won’t give you your present,” Hermione teased.

“What present?” Charlie asked, interested. Hermione ate her biscuit carelessly. “I was going to give you something for being supportive and kind to me but since I’m a pain in your arse…” “Well, that’s fine, I won’t give you your present either,” Charlie teased back.

Hermione broke into a big smile, unable to keep up the game. “If I give you your present, will you give me mine?” Hermione asked, using her big brown eyes to win Charlie over. “Those eyes! Alright, I’ll go get your present; meet me on the rocking chair in a minute,” Charlie said, bending down to kiss her forehead.

Hermione put their glasses in the sink and made her way to the living room. She took the blanket from the back of the sofa and sat on the rocking chair. When Charlie returned he held Alfie in his hand. He smiled at Hermione as she stood up to let him sit down first then sat down on his knee.

Charlie gave Alfie to Hermione. “If you have a bad day or need someone to talk to, I thought Alfie would come in handy,” Charlie told her as he settled the blanket around them. “I’ll keep him away from Crookshanks; he gets very jealous,” Hermione said, smiling at Charlie.

Charlie looked around for his present. “Where’s my present?” he asked. Hermione sat up on his lap, placing her hands on his chest; she brought here cle close to his. “I really am grateful for all your help and how sweet you have been to me; this is my way of saying thank you.” Hermione gently brushed her lips against Charlie’s. He kissed back just as gently; his large hands supported her back.

Hermione broke the kiss and caught her breath, “Can we take things slow…I need some time,” she said slowly. Charlie kissed her nose. "Of course we can. As slow as you like,” he replied. Hermione kissed his lips again, enjoying the love that Charlie responded with.

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Hermione sat on the Hogwarts Express with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley the next day. Molly tried to force Ginny to return to school with Hermione but she wanted to catch the Express with Dean.

Hermione sat quietly by the window, thinking about Charlie, which surprised her; she should be worried about the meeting with Dumbledore. Life has many hidden doors; all you have to do is open one.

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Once again a big thanks to Jamie.

Juri- your right Charlie is a dreamboat. Thanks again.

Lacey- I’m glad you’re enjoying the story. Definite flair for writing thanks so much.

Annalumos- I love Hermione/Charlie fanfic too. Thanks for reviewing.

A nonny mouse- it’s good to hear from someone else with exicexic. Many times I’ve felt like saying, “Screw this” but I love to write. So many people have been wonderful about the errors and continued to read the story. Thank you for reading.

Anon- Very sweet of you thanks.

Erin kite- Thank you for being generous.
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