The Ties that Lead to Trust

Chapter 17~ Holiday Feelings
The following Friday night, Hermione did not find herself snuggled on Severus’ sofa beside the fire, nor did she find herself outside enjoying the winter night wrapped in his cloak. She wasn’t even buried under books and papers tucked in the corner of his library. Hermione was with Ernie MacMillan on the fourth floor patrolling the corridors. It was the last night before the holidays began, classes were over, and everyone was in the mood to celebrate. Ernie had been slightly shocked that Hermione seemed to know where all the good hiding places were as they uncovered dozens of amorous couples hiding in alcoves and behind tapestries. Both were grateful that it was nearly nine thirty and they could return to their own common rooms. Granted the work for the evening wasn’t over yet. The last night of term was traditionally a party night in all common rooms and there would be plenty of antics to curtail, but so long as the festivities were kept to a dull roar, they could enjoy themselves.

Hermione checked her watch for the hundredth time that night. Their patrol was finally over. Ernie looked longingly at the stairs going downward before turning to go up towards Gryffindor tower. Hermione caught the glance and really wished she didn’t constantly have people insisting on escorting her everywhere. She wasn’t incompetent. Malfoy’s attack had been months ago, and the only reason he had managed anything was because she had been caught off guard. Ernie had started up the stairs, when Hermione caught his arm.

“Don’t worry about it tonight, Ernie. I’m sure I can make it back on my own. Most of the professors are about tonight. Besides, I have a wand and I know how to use it.”

Ernie gave her a look mixed with relief and concern. “Are you sure? Professor Sprout gave me quite the lecture you know and I wouldn’t want anything to happen....”

Hermione smiled. “Yes I’m sure. What use was DA if not for this? Go on, Hannah is probably waiting for you.”

A broad, if somewhat embarrassed, smile spread across his face. Ernie turned and began down the stairs. He called back up to her, “Thanks Hermione. Happy Christmas!”

“Happy Christmas, Ernie!” she called back to him and drawing her wand, she began up the stairs.

The path to the Gryffindor common room was well travelled, but the one to her own rooms the floor below was slightly less so. Even with the cheery fires in the wall sconces, the halls were draughty and cold. People in paintings on the wall waved merrily at her and wall tapestries moved as she passed. Outside the night was clear and cold, and now, alone in the empty corridors, Hermione found the castle still and silent. Granted that would change the moment she arrived in the tower, but for now it was peaceful.

Only a floor above where she left Ernie, Hermione heard the sound of someone behind her. In a flash, she whirled around and saw something move. “Impedimenta!”

A bright light shot from her wand at the shape she saw moving. She was certain her aim was true, but the spell seemed to swerve at the last moment. The dark figure continued to advance.

“Stupify!” she yelled, but again her spell missed.

She was just beginning to panic, when the individual in the shadows stepped into the light.

“Isn’t Mr MacMillan responsible for seeing you safely back to your rooms?” Severus said smoothly.

Hermione let out a deep sigh of relief. “I only had a couple floors to go, and I am fully capable of defending myself.”

“Like you just did?” He asked, moving closer.

“You know very well that if you were anyone else those spells would have stopped you in your tracks!” she shot back.

Severus allowed himself a small smile and chuckled, “Indeed they would have. That being said, I would still request the privilege of escorting you back to the tower.”

Hermione smiled in return, “Now professor, you wouldn’t be neglecting your own duties tonight?”

“Ensuring all students are safe and where they belong is part of my duties,” he took her hand, “and now it seems they are complete. Shall we?”

“What a gentleman,” she joked.

“I wouldn’t say that, my motives are anything but gentlemanly. Now, were you going straight to the tower or to your rooms first?” he enquired, squeezing her hand.

She squeezed back, “To my rooms. I’d like a few moments peace before going up to the common room. Who knows what sort of mayhem is going on in there as we speak.”

Through the chilly halls and up the stairs, they wound their way slowly towards the hallway with the hippogriff painting. The peaceful quiet disappeared. Sounds from the common room a floor above could be heard even here. Hermione groaned, “It’s worse than I thought. They’re all going to hate me when I go up there and tell them to quiet down.”

“Likely less than the ones you scared out the dark alcoves earlier.”

“Yes but they deserve what they get. There are much better hiding places for snogging in the castle. Everyone knows about the alcoves and that’s the first place teachers look,” she admonished.

Severus raised an eyebrow, “And just where are these much better places for hiding?”

She grinned, “If I told you, they wouldn’t be good places to hide anymore, now would they?”

“True enough, but it leads me to wonder who you might be protecting by keeping them secret,” he pointed out.

She shook her head. “You know about the map. It doesn’t leave anything hidden. When we leave school the map will be gone and the school still needs some secret places.”

He shook his head, “I shudder to think what will happen when that cursed map makes a return appearance.”

“That won’t be for some time. Do you think you will still be teaching by then?”

“Perhaps not.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I really hadn’t intended on teaching as long as I already have.”

Suddenly a loud bang echoed through the corridor and Hermione looked up to the ceiling. “I should probably get up there before they blow up the common room. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He nodded, “Will you be helping with the carriages?”

“Yes, I can come down after that,” she told him.

“Good,” Severus pulled her to him in a searching kiss. His lips nipped and pulled at hers, drawing her closer. Hermione felt her skin flush and her body respond to him, quite beyond her control. When he finally drew back, she could tell her lips were dark and swollen. His eyes held an unspoken invitation. Hermione blushed deeper and started when another explosion sounded from above.

She smiled apologetically. “Goodnight.”

“Have fun,” he said sarcastically, then smiled back, nodding his head. “Until tomorrow.”

Severus turned and walked away down the corridor and Hermione gave the password to the irritated looking hippogriff and went inside her rooms. Giving up on a short break before interrupting the party underway above her, she pounded up the back stairs and burst into the common room. “What on earth is going on in here?”

It was pandemonium. Sparklers, dragons and Catherine wheels were flying around the room and careening off the walls while younger students looked on in awe and older students laughed and cheered. It was certainly celebratory but it was also very loud. Hermione gave Ginny an exasperated look. “Your brothers didn’t...”

Ginny was trying really hard to contain her amusement, but was failing miserably. “I had nothing to do with the Whizbangs. I think they were one of the Creevey’s. I will claim responsibility for the food and drinks though. Don’t give me that look Hermione. It’s just a little holiday fun.”

“Right up until McGonagall gives us all a tongue lashing for being too raucous.” Hermione grumbled.

Ginny was wearing a wicked Weasley grin when she said, “Looks like you’ve already had your tongue lashing. I hope it wasn’t from McGonagall though.”

The older girl’s face turned crimson. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So why do you look like you’ve had a good snog?” Harry’s deeper voice came from behind her.

“I... hmph... I thought you didn’t want to hear about it, Harry Potter,” she said haughtily.

It was Harry’s turn to colour. “I was only kidding. Oh no... you weren’t were you?”

Hermione narrowed her eyes. “That is none of your business. Now about this party-”

“-Come on ‘Mione. Lighten up. It’s Christmas,” Harry whinged.

“I’m not trying to break up the party, but it’s far too loud. No more fireworks,” she insisted.

With the aid of a few younger prefects, who hadn’t been doing their job, they eventually managed to tone down the festivities to friendly chatting, exploding snap and sharing the food Harry and Ginny had nicked from the kitchens. Dennis Creevey promised not to set off any more Whizbangs and only a few fireworks continued to zoom around the room. Hermione allowed herself to relax and enjoy the company of her former roommates as well as other students she hadn’t seen much of this year.

By midnight, nearly everyone had gone to bed or at least to their dormitories to pack frantically for the train the next day. Harry yawned loudly and went upstairs, leaving Ginny with Hermione. For a long while the two girls talked like they hadn’t done in quite some time. Just before Hermione left for her own rooms, Ginny surprised her with a question. “Do you love him?”

“Who?” Hermione answered, confused.

“Your husband, Hermione. Who else have you been spending every Friday night with since term began. I know you spend the night there now,” Ginny answered bluntly.

Hermione’s eyes widened. “How do you know that?”

“Because after you were short with Harry that one time, he started sending me to check on you in the mornings. I overheard your password, so when you didn’t answer, I checked inside. Your bed was unslept in and your hairbrush and toothbrush were missing. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Don’t worry about Harry though, I told him you were still sleeping and convinced him not to hassle you on Saturday mornings,” Ginny explained.

“Oh dear,” Hermione was blushing deeply. “It’s not what you think, Gin. I mean it is, but we don’t... oh... What I mean is, I do spend the night, but it’s only sleeping. Nothing more.”

Ginny smiled, “I didn’t say it was. Personally, I don’t really want to know and I choose not to speculate, but you still haven’t answered my question. Do you love him?”

Hermione sighed, “I don’t know. It’s not a simple situation Ginny. I mean, I like him and care about him, but...well love is a big word.”

“But you’ve felt it before, Hermione. You should have some idea,” the younger girl insisted.

Hermione was shaking her head. “I haven’t. I loved Ron as a friend, but it wasn’t the same when we went out. I mean, I really liked him, but this feels different. I feel more when I hold hands with Severus, than I did when I kissed Ron. That’s a horrible thing to feel.”

Ginny put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I don’t think that’s horrible. I was so happy when you and Ron started dating, but I’d still be your friend if you never had. You shouldn’t feel guilty for moving on. It’s not like you had much of a choice.”

“I chose Severus because we agreed to live completely separately afterwards. I planned on walking away, but that hasn’t seemed to work.”

“That’s no reason why you shouldn’t try to have something with Snape if that’s what you want. It seems like he wants something with you, or he wouldn’t have you stay overnight every week.”

Hermione looked at the fire and didn’t speak for some time. “I think I do want something. I really do enjoy being with him. He has such a quick mind, but there’s more too. You can’t tell a soul, but he is a different person when he is alone. Gentle. Even romantic. He smiles more and plays with my hair. Sometimes we kiss and...”

Ginny was smiling now, “I think you do.”

“You think so?” she sounded uncertain.

“If you don’t now, you will soon. Have a good Christmas holiday, Hermione,” There was a twinkle of mischief in Ginny’s eyes. “There won’t be any students here, so you don’t have to act like Head Girl. Do enjoy yourself.”

Hermione was blushing again. “You are terrible Ginny Weasley. You do know that... I hope you have a good holiday.”
*********

The morning was very busy with students rushing about to get everything they needed over the break. Much to their chagrin, students had plenty of homework to keep them busy. Cats were yowling and owls hooting unhappily in their cages. Harry tripped over Neville’s toad three times in the confusion. After breakfast, the thestral drawn carriages arrived at the entrance of the castle and Hermione helped students find somewhere to sit and load their things. She had a bag with her as well to take down to Severus’ rooms, but no one else knew she was staying.

As she waved goodbye to Harry and Ginny, she couldn’t help but notice Harry’s excitement. Like a little boy at Christmas, which, she supposed, he was. It would do him good to have a proper Christmas. When the last carriage was loaded and on its way to the gate, Hermione picked up her bag and headed back inside. Severus was waiting for her in the entrance hall and smiled when she came in. “No problems with the carriages?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary. It seems so quiet after all the bustle this morning,” She was smiling back at him.

He took her bag to carry and put a hand in hers as they began towards the dungeons. “And now that it is quiet and the holidays started, what would you like to do?”

“I think decorating was near the beginning of our list, and I also need to go to Hogsmeade to get a few last things for people. It’s not too cold out today so it might be nice to go this afternoon.” she said.

“Sounds like a good idea.”

When they reached his quarters, they began to decorate each of the rooms. Soon holly adorned the mantle and door frames. Hermione’s wreath from Herbology class was hung on the front door wrapped in gold ribbon with silver bells hanging from the bow. She was pleased that Severus had already procured a tree, which now stood in the corner on the right hand side of the fireplace. Together they covered it with multicoloured balls, ribbons and candles. Hermione thought it looked like the old fashioned trees she saw on Christmas cards.

When everything was finished, she stood back to survey the scene and let out a contented sigh. “Perfect. Everything looks lovely.”

“You look lovely,” Severus said as he came up from behind.

She glanced back. “Thanks, but I think the room looks better. It’s not too much, is it?”

He gave her a small peck on the cheek and slid his arms around her waist. “I am far from an expert on decorating, particularly Christmas decorating. It looks nice. Very different.”

“I really enjoy the decorating part of Christmas. I think that is what makes the season special to me,” She told him.

“Would you like to have lunch at the Three Broomsticks? Rosemerta makes very good wassail.”

She leaned back against him, smiling. “Mmm, that does sound good. I’d like to change out of my school robes before we go, though.”

Hermione picked up her bag and Severus followed her to the bedroom. He opened the wardrobe and pulled out a dark green robe and set it on the bed. Gesturing to the open door he said, “There is space if you need to hang things and the top right hand dresser drawer is empty. Make yourself at home.”

She opened her bag and began moving the few things she brought with her into the empty drawer. Well it was almost an empty drawer. Her pyjamas were inside, freshly cleaned and folded neatly, waiting for her. Severus picked up the garment he had selected and moved to the other side of the bed. Surprised that he hadn’t left the room, Hermione’s stomach did a flip when she saw him start to disrobe out of the corner of her eye. She picked out one of her own robes and took a deep breath. If this was a silent test, she was not going to back down.

His back was tactfully turned away from her, but she knew he was watching her out of the corner of his eye just as she was watching him. Trying to appear unhurried and unconcerned, she began to shed her school robes. The cool air hit her skin and gooseflesh popped up across her bare stomach, arms and legs. Her nipples contracted with the cold and she forgot about looking unhurried. She shivered and pulled the blue robe over her head and hugged the material to herself. “Brrr, this castle is always so draughty in the winter.”

“I’m afraid I am not particularly talented with heating charms. The bathroom holds them fairly well, but I can never get the corner by the door in this room to stick. I’ll try again tonight,” He told her apologetically.

She looked up to see him fully dressed and depositing the other robes in the covered basket at the end of the bed. The green of his robes was close to that of the bedcovers and the cut was less billowing than his usual teaching robes. He came up to her and enfolded her in his arms. “Cold?”

Hermione enjoyed the feel of his arms around her and moved in close. “I’ll live.”

The fabric beneath her cheek was heavier than his usual robes and felt soft to the touch. She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and looked up. “This is nice material.”

One of his hands reached up to brush against her face. “It’s warm. Good for a day outside. Ready?”

She pushed herself up on her toes and caught his lips in a short kiss. Smiling, she said, “Definitely.”

Severus led her back out to the sitting room and helped with her cloak. They walked arm in arm up and out the main entrance of the school. The temperature outside had warmed since the night before and big fluffy snowflakes were drifting lazily to the ground. It was a perfect winter day and plenty of people were out in the town. The wassail at The Three Broomsticks was indeed delicious and after lunch they made their way through the slightly crowded shops.

As they began walking back to the castle in the late afternoon twilight, Hermione thought back to her conversation with Ginny the previous evening. Perhaps the younger girl was right, maybe she was starting to feel love for Severus. She wondered what precisely she was going to do about that. Her friend had made some rather bold implications and in her mind she wasn’t sure she was ready to have a more intimate relationship just yet. On the other hand, part of her did. The part that seemed to take over when they kissed and held each other. The part that sent her heart racing this afternoon when he started to undress. The part that leaned closer when a hand snaked around her waist while they were walking back to Hogwarts.
*********

That evening, Severus left Hermione behind in his rooms while he made an obligatory appearance at the Headmaster’s holiday staff meeting. Generally it was less of a meeting than the handing out of a list of students remaining behind at the castle followed by mindless prattle and punctuated by snacks and drinks. He found it not only tremendously tedious, but also completely unnecessary. The overabundance of holiday cheer had irritated him in the past, but he found that the simple fact that he was spending the evening with someone other than his guest more frustrating now. True, Hermione seemed to be increasingly more at home in his rooms, but the fact remained she was his guest. For now.

As he slowly made his way towards the staff room, he once again pondered Hermione’s place in his life. They had both admitted the desire to pursue a deeper relationship over the holidays and perhaps beyond. Being truthful, he enjoyed her companionship, platonic and otherwise, but was truly uncertain where it would lead. Yesterday, he had given Albus a letter that was going to drastically change his life, and Severus wondered when he should tell Hermione about it. It was too soon now, certainly, but the knowledge of it was burning to escape him. Patience was something he had mastered long ago, however, and the appropriate time would present itself eventually. For now, he was content to consider more immediate circumstances. Like the way Hermione’s fly away hairs created a soft halo in the candlelight, or the soft humming noises she made as she fell asleep, or even the oddly endearing way she shuffled through books and parchments looking for something with either fervour or frustration before her mouth formed into a momentary smile of satisfaction as she delved into the matter at hand.

Severus heard the buzzing voices of a dozen or so people in the staffroom and began closing off his thoughts of Hermione. Albus’ persistent twinkling aside, he knew the list handed out this year had only a single name, and everyone would likely be inquiring after her. Not for the first time, he felt a twinge of regret that she excelled to such an extent that she was every professor’s favourite pupil, and at once chastised himself for it. He knew enough to realize that intelligence was part of her appeal.

For a few minutes after entering the room, his presence remained unnoticed. Trying to edge past Filius, who was always overly eager to pry into his interaction with Hermione, he bumped into Minerva. She turned and smiled broadly, before glancing behind him. “Where is Hermione?”


“Obviously not here as this is a staff meeting,” he answered testily.

Her eyebrows furrowed and her smile became a small frown. “She was welcome to come, Severus. I’m sure I heard Albus say so himself.”

Severus let out an annoyed sigh. “I hadn’t intended upon staying long. I was informed the meeting would be shorter than usual.”

“Why are you always so difficult?” she said in frustration. “This is supposed to be a friendly and enjoyable time of year. You should really--”

“Minerva, I don’t wish to discuss this with you. How I choose to spend my break beyond this inconvenience is entirely my own business. I would thank you to let the matter rest at that,” he said sharply and stalked off to get a drink.

The next hour was a nightmare consisting of a barrage of questions, knowing glances and unsolicited advice. As predicted, every teacher in Hogwarts wanted to know and speculate on what was transpiring within his quarters, though some were more tactful in their questioning techniques than others. Even Poppy, who generally used this gathering to inform him which potions he needed to brew in order to restock her supplies, prodded him for details. With each successive encounter, the muscles in his neck and shoulders tightened and his resolve to remain sufficiently polite faltered.

In the end, it was Albus who granted him reprieve. Seeing the impassive shell around his Potions Master begin to crack, he focussed the attention on himself when he called for toasts. Generally after this, everyone was free to leave, though most stayed until quite late. Severus had never been one to endure the occasion any longer than necessary and now, while no one was looking, discreetly slipped from the room.

He had only taken a half dozen steps down the corridor when a voice cleared quietly behind him. Closing his eyes for a moment, Severus took a deep breath and turned to face the Headmaster. “Yes Albus?”

The old man was wearing a small smile and his eyes were twinkling with amusement. “I only wanted to wish you a pleasant and productive holiday.”

“Likewise. Was there anything else?” he queried, unsure how much more merriment and twinkling he could tolerate.

“I wanted to tell you that the contents of your missive will remain confidential until such time as you choose to inform the others. I expect you will want to wait, if I’m not mistaken,” the Headmaster answered, his smile growing broader.

“Thank you. I appreciate your consideration. Now, if there is nothing further...” Severus trailed off, anxious to return to the haven of his rooms.

Albus nodded. “I won’t delay you any longer tonight. I shall see you at Christmas dinner, if not before, and remember, Hermione is more than welcome to attend these gatherings. Do pass along my greetings.”

“I will. Happy Christmas, sir,” Severus said curtly and strode away towards the dungeons without a backwards glance. What he did not see was the momentary expression of surprise on the Headmasters face, nor did he hear the amused chuckle that followed.
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