Dirty deeds

dedicated to kate (k8gsmith@aol.com) because she asked so nicely


10 January – the aftermath

Woke up next day in bed with him still curled round each other. Don’t know how we got there. At least he had taken off his clothes. I was covered in red marks from his buttons from the day before. He still had that defenceless look about him. I wondered what he was going to say.

He opened his eyes and for the first time ever he doesn’t look surprised but just happy. Then he said that he loved me. Daft sod. Was going to pin him to the bed until he confessed too. Had to make do with standard shag instead. Still pretty good though, particularly as I made him kiss me better in all the places I had interesting marks. Which was mostly everywhere.

SUCH a lucky cow.

Feel strong urge to brand him as mine so everyone can see. May have to settle for wedding ring though.

Suspect teaching robes in need of strong cleaning charm.

Suspect also that kinky little devil will be wearing them on Monday morning in class. May even smile in double potions with the Gryffindors and Slytherins. Bet that will frighten the little buggers even more than usual.

Severus potters off into the bathroom for things no couple want to share, followed by long bath. He seems to have taken to bubble baths. Even seems to have adapted to having rubber duck bobbing around. Appeals to previously unsuspected sense of whimsy. Probably gets his wand out and melts it when I’m not looking, but still shows a sense of fun previously unsuspected in glowering potions master.

Fetched him nice cup of coffee and a bit of toast and then stood looking at him fondly. All relaxed and rested and with freshly washed hair and looking eminently shaggable. Was smirking as well.

Had every right to be under the circumstances.

Asked him what he wante do do with himself that day.

Opened one eye and just looked at me very meaningfully. Blushed and said we couldn’t spend whole lives in bed.

He begged to differ. But he had heard about girl’s like me. Hot little floozies to start with but when they had their man where they wanted them they started playing hard to get. He bet that as soon as we got married I would start wearing flannel nighties and having headaches.

Horrid moment when both realised what he’d said.

So of course gabblemouth Hermione has to jump in with both feet. Said that would only consider marrying for money and that as soon is ris ring was on my finger I would start shagging whatever the magical equivalent of the pool boy. Think that would be house elves. Ew.

He stiffened at this. Had obviously put foot in it. Could have gone for tact, but couldn’t see point in changing habits of a lifetime. Was he rich?

Not as well off as Malfoy but comfortable thank you very much.

So he was rich. Bloody hell. I had no idea.

Does this mean he actually LIKES teaching.???!

Think he realised from shocked expression that not transformed into goldigger.

So I smirked and said that if it came down to it I had already had his ring on my finger – accompanied with very rude gesture – and so we were engaged and it was too late to back out now he realised my mercenary motives.

He nearly drowned himself he was laughing so hard. Somehow people don’t expect me to make vulgar comments so when I do it always gets that response. Ron always used to have fits that his girlfriend knew filthier jokes than he did. Always was something of a prude. Probably explains why lousy lay. That and small dick.

Sure that Pug Face is capable of training him to jump through hoops if necessary but wonder if she is prepared for quite how mammoth the task is. Shall have to drop a hint. Shan’t tell her about the small willy though. In first place, not fair to Ron – shouldn’t kiss and tell; in the second place, you never know, maybe Ron is perfectly average and Severus is hung like donkey – wouldn’t want Pug Face to work that out as she might go after Severus. (Are donkeys particularly well endowed?)

Would have to kill her then obviously. Not that I’d regret it, but I might get caught. Azkaban even without dementors still not nice.

Realised that Ron still has my copy of the Wizarding Kama Sutra the cheapskate bastard. Reflect that his need probably greater than mine but is distinct possibility that at this rate Severus and I will run out of things to do. Must get it back.

Severus looking very lonely in the bath. Point this out to him and he agrees.

We do talk honestly. Its just we fit in an awful lot of shagging at the same time. After all have to fit in an entire week\'s worth at the week end.

If we get married there is plenty of time to learn to despise each other and develop headaches and go off sex. Wonder how that works if married to potions master - can cure headaches very easily indeed. Would have to think of some other excuse I suppose. And if we don’t get married need to make sure that getting as much of this as possible in case the next boyfriend is as crap as Ron.

Anyway we have known each other for seven years. I know he’s a crabby bastard. He knows I am a bossy know-it-all. It’s not as if there are going to be any nasty surprises round the corner in terms of personality is there? I think he is very nearly fully trained. Problem is that I think I am as well.

Turns out it is possible to spent the entire day in bed.

A/N – for those wondering about when she had Severus’s ring on his finger, let me direct you to chapter 12:

“I moved a hand between his legs to briefly caress his balls before moving on to stroke the skin between them and my ultimate goal. Severus just gave me a moment’s warning that he was about to come, and as he did I slipped my index finger inside him and found that magic spot. He squealed like a pig, came like the mallard on its record breaking run, and collapsed limply onto the sofa. I don’t think he noticed me discreetly spitting the resulting mouthful of semen into a napkin.”