What Would You Wish For?

The next few months saw Ron and Pansy getting closer and closer. They spent as much time as they could in each others company, getting to know hopes, dreams, ambitions, fears and irritations.



Ron could openly admit, at least to himself, that he had fallen in love with her, but for now that would remain his secret. It was something very serious and he didn’t want her to feel pressured to say something she didn’t feel. Things would go as slowly as they would, and the opportunity to share how much he cared about her wasn’t now. Soon, but not now.



Upcoming exams and preparations for the Auror program was their focus for now. Since the training period would require a great deal of his time, he wanted to be able to devote himself to her when he could give her everything, including his time. He had made plans and hoped she would agree with them, but he still had until they left school to involver her.



They were sitting under a massive tree on the grounds on lazy Saturday, Ron leaning against the trunk, and Pansy relaxing against his chest, as she sat between his legs.



“Do you have a plan for your writing?’ He asked.



“Maybe.” She letting her hands, caress his knees. “My father knows a publisher. He says he can help get something submitted for me, but I’m still unsure.”



“Why is that?” He toyed with a lock of her hair.



“I have several ideas, but I haven’t written anything completely.” She let out a sigh. “Everything I have is incomplete.”



“So, finish something.” He leaned down and kissed her neck. “I’m sure anything you write will be great.”



“Even if it’s torrid romance novels?” She asked with a giggle, letting her head fall to the side, giving him more access.



“Torrid romance?” He opened his lips against her pulse point. “Don’t you have to add sweaty sex scenes in book like those?”



She sighed, gripping his thighs. “Sometimes, yes. I suppose that‘s why I don’t know how to finish any of them.”



“Why not?“ He asked, nuzzling her neck.



“I suppose I don’t have the experience to draw on.“ Ron stilled and looked and her, taking her shoulders and shifting her to face him.



“Pansy, are you a virgin?” He asked.



She looked afraid for a moment. “No, I’m not.”



Instead of looking shocked, horrified, even disgusted, he just looked confused. “Then what do you mean, you don’t have the experience to draw on?”



Pansy thought for a moment, then resettled herself, so she was face to face, rather than just twisted to look at him. “Well, I guess I should have said I didn’t have any good experiences to draw on.”



“Tell me.” He said calmly. He didn’t release her, he kept his arm around her back and held her hand.



“Well, you know that I dated Blaise for awhile but I didn’t go into much detail about him.” Ron was aware of where she was headed, having seen part of the conversation after his Valentine’s date.



“Yes, I remember.’ He said softly. “He was your first?”



“Yes, but there hasn’t been anyone since.” She let out a forced laugh. “Actually it was only one time. We dated the end of last year and the first part of the summer, but we spilt up after the night we ended up together.”



“Why?” Ron was glad she didn’t stay with him, and his questions were merely to show her that he was listening, that he cared.



“Blaise was the type of man that had expectations and showed his aggravation when those expectations weren’t met. When we were together, he used to touch me all the time, sometimes in ways that made me very uncomfortable.” Her face took on a sad expression. “I would tell him that I was hurt, or insulted and he remind me that I was his girlfriend, and I should allow him liberties.”



“That’s not true.” Ron couldn’t stop the words from coming out. “I’m sorry, I should be quiet and let you finish……”



‘It’s alright.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “I guess I know that now, but Blaise was convincing and I suppose I let myself believe it. He was my boyfriend and he seemed to want me. It wasn’t until we had sex that I realized he didn’t want me, he just wanted to do those things. We went to his home, when his parents were visiting his aunt and uncle. He barely kissed me. He didn’t wait for me to get ready. He didn’t take the time I needed as a virgin. He rushed and it hurt, badly.”



“I’m sorry it was so bad.” Ron didn’t know why he was apologizing, but he felt the need to.



“Don’t be, it had nothing to do with you.” She took a moment, then continued. Afterwards he got dressed and left me alone, so I could dress, but I snuck downstairs and apparated away. He came to my home the next day, wanting to know why I left. When I said it hurt, he told me that it always hurts the first time. I told him that he should have taken care with me, but he said the next time would be better.”



Ron said nothing, just watched the emotion play over her face as she spoke. “I asked him why would we have to do it again, since I already gave it to him. He said I was his girlfriend, so why should he be denied sex. I knew then that I really didn’t matter, he just wanted it, regardless of who it came from. I told him that I didn’t want to see him again. He left without trying to change my mind.”



“Were you sad?” He asked.



“I was sad that I meant so little to him, that he saw me as only someone to meet what he wanted. I was actually a little relieved that he was gone. I wouldn’t have to let him touch me or have sex with him.” She told him.



“Has he bothered you since school started?” Ron asked.



“No.” She met his eyes. “He hasn’t noticed me at all.” His own face fell pensive. How could anyone treat her that way? Pansy was remarkable and when they were together she was passionate, and sensual, giving back his kisses with an ardor that matched his own. He always welcomed her touch and the thought of that touch being forced of coerced in any way was horrible. “Ron, are you a virgin?”



Ron looked up and found a curiosity in her eyes. She had shared with him, so he would do the same. “Yes.” She nodded with a smile and looked away.



“Does it matter that I am not?” She was afraid again, worried and nervous.



“No, it doesn’t.” He told her, hugging her close. He merely held her as she relaxed. “Pansy, I still think you should finish your stories, imagination is good enough for now. Fantasy can be what you draw on.”



Pansy said nothing for some time, merely looked off into the distance, before looking back in his eyes again. “Ron, do you want to have sex with me?”



“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate in his answer. Now was not the time for modesty, but for blatant truth.



“Do you expect it?” It was a hard question for her to ask but she needed to ask.



“No. I want it but I would never expect it from you. I would be honored if you gave me something that special, but I want that to be your choice.” He spoke with a firmness he rarely used, but he needed to make sure she understood him. “Have you thought about it with me?”



“Yes,” she said, “but I think of other things too.”



“Like what?” She had peaked his curiosity.



“Like having children.” She watched his face. “I’m sorry if that scares you in any way, but more than being a writer I want to be a mother.”



“I think you would make a great mother.” He absorbed her smile. “And it doesn’t scare me at all.”



The rest of the day Ron thought about her words. He considered her just about as experienced as he was when it came to sex. Given that Blaise had no consideration for her, she didn’t have anything to look up to. He didn’t share something with her, he used her body, and to Ron that didn’t constitute making love. When they were enjoying a snog here and there she was bold in her caresses. She touched his legs and his ass a lot, but stayed clear of his cock. He sensed her nervousness when she came close but he never pushed her.



He was able to touch her in many ways too. He liked having her legs caressed and her back and shoulders held. Her neck and waist were also sensitive. He didn’t however, have the bollucks to reach for her ass or her breasts.



As he lay in bed that night, Demona appeared beside him, stretched out on her side, resting her head on his pillow. “You seem troubled Ron. What’s the matter?” Ron took a moment to look around the room. “Don’t worry, they are all asleep.”



“I had a talk with Pansy. She told me about the one time she had sex with Blaise.” Ron shook his head. “I don’t think badly of her, but I’m worried.”



“Why?” She already had a clue as to the reason, but she wanted to hear it from Ron.



“What if I am no good?” He met her eyes, fear and panic would see it soon, she could tell. “What if I make mistakes, what if I think she’s ready and she’s not, what if…….”



“Ron, calm down.” She rested a hand on his shoulder. ‘Pansy cares about you, and you care about her. You won’t rush her or make her uncomfortable.”



“I know that, what I’m worried about is technique.” He let out a long sigh. “What if I am not good at anything. What if I can’t arouse her, or I can’t do what she wants the way she wants. Snogging is one thing, but lovemaking is different.”



“Ron, I said I would help you in anyway I can. I won’t fail you this time. You just trust me, I will think of something.” She rose from his bed, kissing his cheek. “No more worries, get some sleep.” She left him to sleep, slipping out of the castle, and hurrying vanishing into the night. This time, she stayed away from Hogwarts until morning.







a/n: dont for get to review. can anyone guess how demona will help him out?